Ello my peeps, I hope you enjoy this first instalment on my take of a Kidd/OC romance! (Let's see how this disaster turns out, eh?) No worries, Kidd will show up in the next chapter. Oh, and the main character's name in this was chosen purely because I liked it. So if you recognise the name, I'm just gonna say now that I had no idea the name existed until I Google-ed it. Oh Google, how I love you.
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.
Chapter One: Impel Down? No Thanks.
"She seems harmless to me."
I rolled my eyes as the snippet of conversation floated towards my cell. Obviously, the two patrol guards thought I couldn't hear them talking, and about me no less.
Besides, I'd heard that particular phrase a million times before, it not more. Many would take one look at my ditzy girl act and immediately brand me someone not worthy of attention; people were naïve like that. Most only saw skin deep, though rather than being slightly offended, I was actually grateful for my innocent appearance, as it helped me get away with much more than some shifty-eyed dude would.
Currently, I was caught and stuffed in a meat locker – ergo, an iron bar cell below deck – and making my way to Impel Down, no less. Yep, you heard right: Impel Down, the most feared prison in the entire world. You're probably a little confused, though. Let's rewind for a moment, and catch you all up.
So, hi, I'm Sadie. Sadie Hawkins. No, I'm not related to the greatest swordsman in the world, or to the homeless person living in that dark alley up your street. You know who I'm talking about, don't deny it. Anyway, I'm just Sadie – Sade to most people – and I'm, shockingly enough, a Revolutionary.
Now, before you freak out on me and such, just hear me out. Yeah, I'm a Revolutionary. Yeah, I see absolutely no point in the marine system and their 'Absolute Justice' rubbish. No, I'm not particularly nervous about possibly spending the rest of my life in one of the most feared prisons in the world, but I have a legitimate reason for that, so don't go thinking I'm some super girl who can tear people apart with my teeth or something equally as farfetched.
But you're still probably wondering how exactly I got into this mess in the first place. Well, let me tell you, I certainly hadn't seen it coming.
About three days previous, I was just minding my own business, you know? I had docked on an island that I had been assigned to, and was doing the usual: creeping around the territory, scoping out the village; normal stuff. It was my job to snoop up some information on the marine headquarters: rumour had it, the captain in charge of the island had certain information that I was bound to appreciate.
Anyway, I was just stalking the perimeter of the giant marine building, looking like just another face in the crowd. So imagine my surprise when a horde of marines surrounded me all of a sudden, ordering me to stand down and stuff like that, in the name of Justice, of course.
Who the hell is this Justice dude, anyway?
Ha, I kid you. I'm not that dumb; I've made it this far in life, haven't I? Only I'm currently on a ship to Impel Down, so maybe I'm not all that smart.
Sorry, sorry, I'm getting off track here. So where was I? Ah, yes. The marines. So, a bunch of these morons in matching outfits start telling me to stand down and some shit, and all I can think is, what the hell is going on? So finally, after they've completely surrounded me, the ensign, I think, steps into the middle of the circle and holds out this sheet of paper.
I'm all, wow, a piece of paper, whoop-de-doo, but then he unfurls it and lo-and-behold, it's a wanted poster of me! I'm not so thrilled, however. I mean, I looked so caught off guard and disorientated in the picture. My plain, shoulder-length white-blonde hair was all tangled like I'd just woken up or something, and my eyes were glassy and unfocused and nothing like the normal (dull) blue it usually was. When the hell had I let my defenses down long enough for them to snap the picture?
Or maybe I've always looked like that?
Shit, I officially hate epiphanies.
Right. Back to the story. They presented me with my bounty, which I had no idea I had until the moment; it looked pretty recent so it was understandable. Twenty-three million beli isn't too bad, considering, though it's next to nothing compared to all those rookies of the Grand Line. Besides, I probably only had the bounty because of all the dirty little secrets I'd scrounged up about the marines over the years.
After I was shown my wanted poster – I was lovingly dubbed "'Sorceress' Sadie Hawkins," isn't that cool? – the ensign character proceeded to announce that he was going to capture me and present my sorry hide to his captain.
Now, I'd love to say that I beat him with a club easily, before proceeding to wipe out the remaining lowly marines with just a flick of my hair, but unfortunately, I'd be lying if I said that, so let's just say that I was pinned to the ground in about two seconds, flat, and leave it at that.
As you can see, I'm not much of a warrior. As in, I can't fight to save a life. But anyway, flash forward a little. I get caught, I spit in the captain's face, and said captain gets mad and sentences me to a pitiful life in Impel Down – but not before I deftly nick some important looking documents off his desk. Booyah.
And we're back to the present.
"Alright, soldiers! We should be arriving at the Florian Triangle in about an hour, so be prepared!" The guards were gone, and I strained to overhear the announcement taking place above deck. When I heard the devastating news, I began to feel a worm of doubt wiggle inside of me.
What if my plan didn't work; what if I actually had to go and live the rest of my days in prison? I was too young to be subjected to that torture! Frowning at my spot against the hard, cool wall, I slid up against the gravelly surface and drew myself to my full height, looking through the small peephole I had made for myself previously, just above the waves on the other side. Now, I know what you're going to say: wouldn't they have taken away all your weapons? How could you have made the hole?
Bear with me for a moment here. You'll find out in due time.
I scanned the seas for a sight of a ship; any kind, really, as long as it wasn't another marine vessel and it came within the hour. Then, the door slammed open and I had no choice but to slide back down onto the cold floor and act like I had been in that very position for ages.
I really, really hoped my plan pulled through. If not, I was toast.
It wasn't until about a half hour later did the cannons start firing, battle cries filling the air. I jumped up from my spot on the ground just as the patrol guards did, hefting their cutlasses securely in their hands and hoofing it up the stairs.
Ha, idiots.
Reaching into my pants band – yeah, you heard right; frankly, my breasts are too small to hide stuff in – I pulled out a miniature broom. And by miniature, I mean miniature, as in ant-sized. But that's all part of my power. I ate a fruit, you see. The Shrink-Shrink Fruit. You can probably deduce what I can do from that. It's how I'd had the weapon needed to make the peephole earlier.
I cupped the broom in my hands, before opening them. The more I widened the distance between my two hands, the longer the broom got, until it stopped growing altogether, back to its original size. On my hands and knees, I crawled over to the edge of the cell. The broom had a bit of a curve to the end, and I used that to raise my keys off the hook. Bingo. I unlocked the metal door quickly, shrinking the broom and placing it back to the waistband of my yoga pants.
And, just for the heck of it, I tossed the rest of the keys in the remaining cells. The prisoners gaped up at me. I shrugged.
"What? I need a distraction." I grinned. "Now, I believe the correct response is, 'Thank you, Miss Sadie'."
The ship was…interesting.
The deck was stained red – I'm guessing not from paint – and the ship itself a nice mahogany colour. It had some sort of metal, punk rock-ish theme going on, and a skull was implanted on the side of the deck. I recognized the Jolly Roger with the Glasgow smile easily. The Kidd Pirates. It was just my luck that my saviours – whether they wanted to be or not – were the most ruthless rookie crew of the Grand Line.
How smashing.
The prisoners I released were doing a fair good job of terrorizing the marines, and that on top of the pirate attack was working ever increasingly in my favour. I calculated the distance between the marine vessel and Kidd's ship quickly. In about three minutes, they would be close enough for me to jump. I would just have to tough it out until then.
Suddenly, a loud bang was heard and a cannonball soared towards us. The cannon hit its mark, catching the marine ship squarely in the middle of the deck. Whoever the sniper was on that ship was pretty darn good, and not just because I couldn't even heft a gun up long enough to aim. I had wimpy noodle arms, but in my defense I was in pretty good shape. Well, not really. But I looked like I was in shape, and that was good enough for me.
One more minute…I dodged a marine that barreled into my path, unable to contain the shriek that built up inside of me. My grandma always told me I sounded like a squawking bird when I did that. Oh, how I love her. A man suddenly blocked my view and I shoved his head aside. Good thing he was already unconscious. Thirty seconds…
Now!
I took a running momentum, jumping poised on the railing before kicking off again. I was airborne for maybe a few seconds – agonizing seconds – before landing on the red-stained deck of the Kidd Pirates. Luckily, no one had seen me – yet. Everyone was too busy barking orders or sending cannons flying that they didn't notice the lone girl sneaking into the place where they kept food and such. The point was: I was the only girl within hordes of men. And no one noticed.
Huh. I think I'm a little insulted.
I reached the hidey-hole place and crouched down next to a barrel of rum, the ring of battle cries still in the air. I yawned. If the Kidd Pirates were even one tenth of what the marines made them out to be, then they would come out on top in no time.
But for now… I felt my eyelids become heavier. The sack of potatoes nearby looked extremely comfortable all of a sudden. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, all that time spent staying up at night, looking through the porthole and then when the ship had arrived had left me completely drained. Maybe just a little nap would do. Hopefully, I'd stay undiscovered until when I awoke.
But then again, luck was never usually on my side.