Not What You Think

The room is loud with chatter as Midoriya struggles with his tie. He throws it down onto the counter in front of him and sighs, rubbing his temples.

"How ya feeling man, you nervous?"

Denki walks up behind him and grabs his shoulders, shaking his shoulders affirmingly. Izuku chuckles softly and grabs his tie.

"Yeah… no… I'm fine, It's just this stupid tie"

He looks down and his hand is shaking like a leaf in the wind. His hand slowly balls into a fist and he tries to tie it once more. His hands fumble over each other, trying to figure out the intricate knot. He lets out an exasperated groan, throwing the tie to the ground and hanging his head. The room turns deadly silent as their heads snap toward him, faces stricken with worry.

"Yeah you see guys he's fine! Can't you see how fine he is!"

Denki shakes Izuku softly and chuckles, the room fills with soft laughter and "Ooos" from various guys. Kirishima approaches him and leans down, grabbing his tie from the ground. He holds it out to Izuku

"Take a deep breath, You're Deku! The number one hero! What's one wedding to everything you've been up against?"

Izuku grabs the tie from his hand and closes his eyes

"More than you'd think"

The car is loud as everyone sings along to the radio. IIda tries to contain everyone but fails miserably as everyone yells over him. Izuku smiles softly and looks down at his trembling hands. He slides his hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone. His wallpaper is a picture of them from graduation. He can't help but smile, bringing back memories from when they first met. He opens up his camera and digs through his old photos, of all the memories they've had together. He tightens his grip on his phone as his smile fades from his face.

"Everyone settle down this Instant! Singing this loudly is unruly and could distract todoroki from his driving!"

Iida looks around the car and sees that no one is listening. He sighs and turns to say something to Izuku, but notices what izuku is looking at. He pats him on the shoulder and whispers to him,

"Midoriya, right now all we can do is wait. Everything will go fine!"

Izuku nods and smiles softly, continuing to swipe through his pictures. Reliving through all the enemies that he and Uraraka made together: Their graduation, First jobs, Their first apartment together. He went through their life together and closed his eyes. The sounds of his friends singing along to the radio fades from his ears, leaving a looming silence. Today was the day everything changed for good.

The car slows to a stop in front of the church. The sun shines down through the scattered clouds. Isku steps out of the car and feels the warmth of the sun on his face. He walks over to the lines of people standing outside and says hello to everyone. He goes down the line, shaking hands with all the girls of his class, they all look somewhat sad to see him, but he knows why. Finally he approaches her parents, and they looked ecstatic! They took his hand and shook it vigorously, making pleasantries, catching up, then moving along to the other boys from their starting class. He walked up the pews, nodding at others as he passed, until he stops and turns, looking over everyone. As he scanned over the crowd he saw a mix of faces as their eyes met his. Some looked happy and smiled, some smirked with a snarky look in their eye, while others just looked away. He closed his eyes and took a deep breathe.

Then the music started.

That stereotypical song they always play at weddings. He smiled, not even able to imagine how she looked. He kept his eyes closed tight, almost scared to open them. SLowly, he inhaled and allowed his eyes to float open. There she was, even more beautiful than he could ever imagine another being. She walks slowly down the aisle towards him, her eyes scan the crowd, seeing everyone she truly cares about gathered together to marry the man she truly loves. A smile is stamped clear on her face and tears well in her eyes. She has never felt a moment as happy as this one. She walks down the aisle, growing ever closer to izuku. Finally their eyes meet. His eyes widen but his face stays blank. His entire body is frozen solid as she looks him up and down. She slows her approach as she nears him, her eyes shimmer like gold to him. Time slows as she approaches his side, they stand barely a foot apart. Their eyes stay locked together until she turns her head closes her eyes tightly.

Her stride does not break as she walks down the last few pews to her husband to be. He stands tall and proud, an overconfident smirk spread wide across his face. Katsuki Bakugo stands, waiting for his bride to stand by his side. Izuku watches as they priest gives his speech... as they exchange their vows... as they kiss. But he hears nothing, all he can make out is a distant ringing, somewhere off in the distance. Where he wished he could be.

The reception was already in full swing as izuku walked up to the front doors. Music blasting through as he walks in, a look of despair across his face. He's met with familiar faces as he enters the main hall, everyone dancing in pairs to a slower song. Everyone looks so happy together, Todoroki and Momo, Kaminari and Jiro, Kirishima and Mina, and many others strewn about the hall. He wanders for a bit, talking to friends and others who know him for his standing as the number one hero. He smiles and takes pictures with a few people, but is constantly looking for an opportunity to sneak away, because just for once, he

He found his way to the dance floor, surrounded by his friends dancing wildly, even Iida had let himself let loose. Yet izuku just stood there, unable to bring himself to celebrate. The music to him was dull, the food was bland, he could feel nought but empty. That's when he spotted them, sitting at the center of their large table. They were smiling and laughing together, she was laying her head against him and everyone let out a long, exasperated "awwww".

"What the fuck are you looking at? Get back to celebrating you morons!"

Bakugo yells out at everyone, just as loud and angry as always Just as everyone was getting into full swing, Izuku felt it was time to leave. Who couldn't bring himself to stay and watch the happy couple any longer, so he made his way back towards the exit. Along the way he was stopped by a rather inebriated Kirishima.

"Hey man are you having fun? I hope you've let yourself have a good time because you deserve it. You know you're a real man's man! Coming to this whole shin dig even though you knew what was going to happen. Ya know…"

Izuku allowed Kirishima to drone on, it allowed him to take his mind off of his situation. It could've been 5 minutes or an hour, he lost track. But after a while he dismissed himself from Kirishima who wandered off back to Mina. Finally free, he made his way out to the front, passing a circle of girls sitting on the front steps.

"Deku!"

He stopped in his tracks. He doesn't even need to turn around to know that bitter sweet sound. He turns slowly, seeing her come into view is somehow calms his mind and scatters it everywhere but in his own head.

"You made it! It's so great to see you!"

She steps forward, placing her hand on his shoulder

"Yeah, how could I miss it! You two… you… you look great together"

He tries to smile, he's smiled hundreds of times in hundreds of impossible situations. But he can't bring himself to lie to himself, to lie to her about how he's feeling. He never could lie to her.

"I do hope you had a good time!"

She wraps her arms around him, wrapping them loosely around him. Nothing at all like she once did.

"Of course I did, how could i not…"

His voice trails off as he slides his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him, she tightens her grip slightly in kind.

"I hope you can find happiness Izuku, i truly do"

"I already did"

He spoke so softly, he can't even be sure if she heard him. His arms fall back to his sides and she lets her hands fall to her sides.

"So long Uraraka, I wish you nothing but the best"

She smiles and waves solemnly as he turns to walk away. His head down and his eyes closed, he makes his way back to the apartment they once shared. Is it really okay for him to be this sad? This angry? Why is it that even though all he wants is her happiness, all he can feel is this unending pain in his heart. Was he not enough? Will he ever be enough?

The light of the moon gets covered by a single cloud, and he's left alone in the dark.