Remember all those nasty, bawdy or downright cruel schoolyard chants, rope-jumping songs and clapping games you saved for when the adults weren't around? Well, maybe the wizard world has its own....
_________________________________________________________________________________________
SERPENT'S TEETH: Wizard Playground Rhymes
( to the tune of 'Miss Mary
Mack' )
Oh Sirius Black (Black, Black)
He got the smack (smack, smack)
He went to Azkaban (Azkaban, Azkaban)
But then he came back (back, back)
He's after Potter (Potter, Potter)
Here's what he'll do (do, do)
He'll finish the job (job, job)
For You-Know-Who (Who, Who)
Dementors will try (try, try)
Search the land and skies (sky, sky)
They should look in the Shack (Shack, Shack)
And then he'll DIE! (DIE! DIE!)
***
Sirius Black with nothing to do,
Met up with Peter Petigrew,
Blew him all to Timbuktoo-
Now the Muggles are cleaning up barbeque!
***
( to 'Peter, Peter, Pumpkin-eater' )
Peter, Peter, little Death Eater,
Jamie Potter's secret keeper
Threw his lot with You-Know-Who
And now his hand is in the stew- EEW!
***
( to the 'Battle Hymn of the
Republic' )
Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the Potions Master's death-
He can't teach us no more potions
He can't give us no more tests-
Our House points are all safe again
And Slytherin's in a mess-
'Cause Snape is finally gone!
Glory, glory, hallelujah,
Snape turned out to be the loser-
Blew him all to Hell with
His own damn Bursting Spell-
Our day has finally come!
***
( to 'Great Green
Globs' )
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little turdy birdy feet,
French fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood-
Got Potions coming up!
***
( to 'Cinderella, Dressed in
Yella' )
Old Maid McGonagall, dressed in pearls,
When to the tower to see her girl,
By mistake she kissed a Snape-
How many antidotes will it take?
One... two... three... four... five...
She's alive!
***
( to 'On Top of Old Smokey' )
On top of Old Smokey,
All covered in fog,
I Transfigured my teacher
Right into a dog.
She yipped like a puppy,
She growled a bit, too,
She grabbed for her wand-
But I snapped it in two.
I took her back home and
Chained her to a stump
I feed her leftover
Remains of my lunch.
And now she is stuck there,
She's swarming with fleas,
I'd change her right back but
She can't beg me please.
So if you wonder
Where our teacher has gone,
She's burying bones now,
And watering the lawn.
It's really a pity,
What became of that witch,
But between just you and me,
She was always a ______.
***
( to 'Miss Lucy Had a
Steamboat' )
Our school it is a strange one,
With lots of weirdos there,
It's just a little warning,
But you might want to be-
Werewolves in the classroom,
And giants in the dell,
We think that dear old Hogwarts
Is going straight to-
Hello, Dumbledore, sir,
You gave us quite a scare,
'Cause all you use your head for
Is growing silver-
Harry has a red scar,
The curse was just a dud,
Seems Voldie is allergic,
To Mummy's Muggle-
Bloody poofter Lockhart,
Made all the witches swoon,
While ratty tatty Lupin
Went howling at the-
Moony has a mad-eye,
Or so we have been told,
When he looks for Death Eaters,
He sees right through your-
Robes are what we wear here,
Not Muggle suits or ties,
It's nice to go stargazing,
When there's witches in the-
Skies are in the Great Hall,
The Snitch is on the fields,
You want to try and snatch it,
To see just how it-
Feels like we are nearing,
The ending of this song,
And you can sing it over,
If I sang it wrong.
BACK