Disclaimer: This story is mine but the characters in it are not. So sad.
Put it back Sam
Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Sam were all on a nice outing in the woods. They had been out for about an hour and decided to stop for a meal. Merry and Pippin went off to find water and some wood. Frodo and Sam stayed back and prepared to cook the meal.
"Hey Mister Frodo, there is something I have been meaning to show you for a while."
"What is it Sam?" Frodo asked.
"Well," Sam said slowly. He took out something from his pants. As Merry and Pippin were coming back, they heard a scream of disgust that sounded like Frodo. They dropped the faggots and the water and rushed over to where they heard the scream. They crouched down behind a tree to see what was going on. From behind the tree Merry and Pippin could vaguely see Sam holding something in between his legs.
"Gross Sam!" Frodo yelled with disgust. "Put it back!"
"Don't you like it Mister Frodo?" Sam asked. "It's my pride and joy."
"NO! Get it away from me! It's gross. Why is it so big? Are they supposed to be that big? And it's all black and hairy!"
"Sure it's bigger than most, but they are supposed to be hairy."
"Just put it back! It's so gross!"
"No it's not. Do you want to pet it Mister Frodo? It likes to be pet."
"EWWW NO! That thing is so gross! What if it pees on me?"
"It wont Mister Frodo, trust me I can control it."
"NO! Why do you even have it out? PUT IT BACK!"
"I don't see how you can think this is gross when you have on just like it. Most all Hobbit-lads do, unless they have problems."
"Me?! Have on of those? Gross. I would never be caught dead with one of those! You're the one with the problems! Just put it back Sam."
Hearing this Merry and Pippin got wide eyed.
"Did you hear that Mer?" Pippin said, "We have to tell everyone back in the shire that Frodo doesn't have a..."
"Shush, we will." Merry interrupted. "But lets finish listening first."
"I thought you had one." Said Sam, "You should have one. It makes it really easy to get hobbit-lasses. They just love them! To tell you the truth, this little baby is how I got Rosie. She loves to play with mine all night. It's hard to get her to go to bed."
"EWW! To much information Sam! I don't care! I'll get a lass my own way! Just please put it back!"
"No, it's needs air." Sam said while petting his pride and joy.
"UGH!" Frodo scoffed and walked away. He saw Merry and Pippin behind the tree and went up to them.
"You wouldn't believe what Sam has got over there. I advise you to leave now!" He said as he walked away. Merry and Pippin giggled and ran off to tell everyone what they had just heard.
"Frodo is so girly. Well, I guess it's time for you to go back little guy." Sam said as he places his little, black mouse back into its pouch.
*****
It's kind of weird but it used to be better. I lost the original and I tried to remember what it was. Please review.
Put it back Sam
Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Sam were all on a nice outing in the woods. They had been out for about an hour and decided to stop for a meal. Merry and Pippin went off to find water and some wood. Frodo and Sam stayed back and prepared to cook the meal.
"Hey Mister Frodo, there is something I have been meaning to show you for a while."
"What is it Sam?" Frodo asked.
"Well," Sam said slowly. He took out something from his pants. As Merry and Pippin were coming back, they heard a scream of disgust that sounded like Frodo. They dropped the faggots and the water and rushed over to where they heard the scream. They crouched down behind a tree to see what was going on. From behind the tree Merry and Pippin could vaguely see Sam holding something in between his legs.
"Gross Sam!" Frodo yelled with disgust. "Put it back!"
"Don't you like it Mister Frodo?" Sam asked. "It's my pride and joy."
"NO! Get it away from me! It's gross. Why is it so big? Are they supposed to be that big? And it's all black and hairy!"
"Sure it's bigger than most, but they are supposed to be hairy."
"Just put it back! It's so gross!"
"No it's not. Do you want to pet it Mister Frodo? It likes to be pet."
"EWWW NO! That thing is so gross! What if it pees on me?"
"It wont Mister Frodo, trust me I can control it."
"NO! Why do you even have it out? PUT IT BACK!"
"I don't see how you can think this is gross when you have on just like it. Most all Hobbit-lads do, unless they have problems."
"Me?! Have on of those? Gross. I would never be caught dead with one of those! You're the one with the problems! Just put it back Sam."
Hearing this Merry and Pippin got wide eyed.
"Did you hear that Mer?" Pippin said, "We have to tell everyone back in the shire that Frodo doesn't have a..."
"Shush, we will." Merry interrupted. "But lets finish listening first."
"I thought you had one." Said Sam, "You should have one. It makes it really easy to get hobbit-lasses. They just love them! To tell you the truth, this little baby is how I got Rosie. She loves to play with mine all night. It's hard to get her to go to bed."
"EWW! To much information Sam! I don't care! I'll get a lass my own way! Just please put it back!"
"No, it's needs air." Sam said while petting his pride and joy.
"UGH!" Frodo scoffed and walked away. He saw Merry and Pippin behind the tree and went up to them.
"You wouldn't believe what Sam has got over there. I advise you to leave now!" He said as he walked away. Merry and Pippin giggled and ran off to tell everyone what they had just heard.
"Frodo is so girly. Well, I guess it's time for you to go back little guy." Sam said as he places his little, black mouse back into its pouch.
*****
It's kind of weird but it used to be better. I lost the original and I tried to remember what it was. Please review.