When the bat connected with a sickening thud Carol felt the bile rising in her throat. She'd seen a lot of deaths - hell she'd killed a lot of people herself, but this one affected her more than she ever could have thought possible. Lizzie, she was the worst death Carol had seen and she would always be the worst. Sophia was the most difficult loss, even though Carol hadn't actually seen her die - only the monster she'd become. Beth, that was bad - so tragic and unnecessary. The list went on and the list would continue to go on until the day she died.
But right then she was looking at Morgan's lifeless body, head caved in from the crushing blow, blood dripping from the gashes made by the barbed wire wrapped around the bat, hearing his last words ringing over and over in her head - Kill me instead. Kill me. KILL ME. - And she was pretty sure what very little she'd eaten was about to come up.
This was the end of their story. Their paths had crossed, tangled, come full circle and now it was over. The man holding the bat, looking down at his latest kill - this evil, egotistical, psychopath - Negan - he had ended the story with one swing of his bat.
Carol looked around at her family. No one was speaking. Tara was throwing up and Carol felt her own stomach lurch. She took a deep breath and tried to keep it down. Rick. Glenn. Abraham. Eugene. They were all still kneeling on the ground. It could have been any one of them. It was almost Glenn before Morgan spoke up at the last second. Kill me instead. Kill me. KILL ME.
Carol felt a pang of guilt when she let herself feel a moment of relief that it was Morgan instead of Glenn. It shouldn't have been anyone, but Glenn was going to be having a baby soon and in all honesty he was family - Morgan was not. And Morgan just wasn't cut out for the world they lived in - in her opinion - though he was finally coming around as of late. But now - it was too late - he was gone and he could never prove her wrong.
"What's it gonna be Rick?" Negan yelled, his voice booming. "Are you ready to deal? Or shall I go again? Lucille is always thirsty." Lucille? He named his damn bat? This man was truly a psychopath through and through. Carol looked at Rick, pleading with him to just make a deal.
"What do you want?" Rick asked, sounding somewhat defeated.
Negan moved around from behind Rick so look him in the eye. "I want half - of everything you have."
"Half?" Rick repeated.
"Half," Negan confirmed. "I will send my men to your community. They will take half your weapons, half of your vehicles, half your supplies and half your food. Plus half of anything else the see that they think I might want." Given the circumstances that didn't really sound too bad to Carol. She hoped Rick would just agree and they could get the hell out of there. "And tonight, in the meantime I'm going to take half of something else - your women."
Carol froze and held her breath. What the fuck did he just say? She looked at Michonne, then Tara and Rosita. They all had the same looks of horror she knew was on her face too. "Excuse me?" Rick said.
"You heard me right," Negan said, turning to look at the ladies. "You have 4 women here, so I get two of them."
"Fuck that," Rick growled. "You're not taking any of our people."
"No?" Negan laughed. "Well it's either you give me two of the ladies or I kill you four," he gestured at the men kneeling on the ground. "And then I take all four of them with me." He swung the bat around, still grinning. He walked towards Glenn and lifted the bat. "What's it gonna be Rick?"
"Rick," Carol said, giving him a look. "Just give him what he wants." Michonne was nodding in agreement.
"I can't," he got out, pain etched on his face. "Please," he looked to Negan. "Please don't do this."
Negan wasn't budging. "You have about 3 seconds to agree or you're gonna have another body laying on the ground." Carol couldn't breathe. She had no doubt Negan was good for his word. "One - Two - "
"Rick," Carol yelled.
"Okay - okay," Rick hollered. "Stop. It's a deal. It's a deal." His face was red with anger - pure rage and fury.
"Good call Rick, good call." Negan put the bat down and Glenn's face relaxed slightly. "I'll take that one," he pointed at Michonne. "And -" he looked them over and then his eyes fixed on her. "And you." He smiled at her. "You're feisty. I like that."
She had a 50/50 shot, but Carol knew the moment she opened her mouth to yell at Rick that Negan would take her. He was arrogant and she could tell he would want what he perceived as the strongest women. Rosita was young and Tara had puked when Morgan was killed. Even if she hadn't spoke up Carol was pretty sure she was getting taken. The bile started to rise up again as Negan turned back to Rick. Carol looked over at Michonne and saw the fear and anger in her eyes.
"I won't tell you when we're coming. It might be tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe a month down the road." Negan was smiling, that cold, pompous smile. "I won't tell you how many people are coming. I might send 10, maybe 50. Maybe even a hundred." He looked at Rick, stared him down, paused and then laid his final threat. "But if you resist - if any of my men get hurt - I will send everyone I have at you. You'll be slaughtered. And instead of half - we'll take it all." He reached out a hand to Rick. "Do I still have a deal?"
Carol could see Rick's hand shaking as he reached out. She barely recognized his voice when he replied. She had known Rick for a long, long time and she had seen him deal with a lot of crazy shit, but the sound of his voice was like a demon had been released inside him. "Deal." It was only one word, but it sent chills down her spine and she was glad she was on his side.
Negan's face busted into a huge smile. If Carol didn't know any better it actually looked genuine. "Good. Now say goodbye to your women and get the fuck out of my sight." He was actually giving them a moment to say goodbye? Carol was completely shocked, but thankful.
One by one they came and hugged both her and Michonne. Tara, Rosita, Eugene, Abraham, Glenn and finally Rick. Carol fought off the tears. This wasn't a final goodbye - she would see them again, someday, somehow. She had survived worse in her life and she would survive this too. But when she hugged Rick and whispered to him the tears started to fall. "Tell Daryl I love him and I'll be okay." Her biggest regret in that very moment was that she had never told Daryl how she felt about him. All these years and she had never once spoke the words. She'd never kissed him or been intimate with him. There was always a new threat, at least that's what she'd told herself - that was her excuse. But there had been time and she should have said it. She wasn't afraid of much anymore, but that was one thing that scared her. If she said it outloud - if he said it back - it just made him even harder to lose. At least that's what she'd thought. Truth was - it was hard enough anyway and she had lost too much time being afraid.
Rick hugged her tighter and whispered his reply back. "I'll tell him you'll be fine, but the rest you can tell him yourself." He drew back and they shared a look. He wasn't giving up either. Maybe he was already formulating a plan. He gave her a slight nod and gently squeezed her shoulders.
"Okay, scram," Negan said, his voice cutting through the quiet like a knife. "Ladies," he approached her and Michonne. "Weapons - all of them." Michonne handed over the katana, her knife and the gun in the back of her pants. One of Negan's men frisked her and nodded. Carol mindlessly passed over her gun, pulled her knife out of the sheath and passed it over as she watched Rick and the others gather up Morgan's body and disappear into the darkness.
The man started to frisk her. "There's a knife in my boot," she said, in an icy, monotone voice. Just like Rick's earlier, she didn't recognize her own voice. It scared her how cold she sounded. The man pulled out the knife.
"Any others you want to tell us about?" Negan asked. There was a grin of amusement on his face and Carol had to bite her tongue to not say something she might regret. Instead she shook her head. "After you, ladies," he said, directing them to follow some of his men who had already started to walk.
Carol never was much of a hand holder, but she reached for Michonne's hand in the dark and could tell her friend was happy to take it. They were strong. They were brave. But they still needed each other. With their family headed in the other direction the two fierce warriors walked off into the unknown, but they walked off - together.