Who Could Have Imagined?
Rachel Geller–Bing entered her house and put her keys and purse down on the counter. "Hey Rach!" her step-son Daniel hollered from upstairs, "Dad called he said to eat without him he had a last minute meeting." Rachel sighed and decided not to mess with cooking, she'd just order Chinese; all the kids liked that anyway.
Her daughter, Julie came in the kitchen with her sister Samantha, "Hey Mom. What's for dinner?"
"Chinese.""ne
"Okay, Chandler must not be joining us."
"No he had to work late."
"Alright, well we are going to go watch TV for awhile. If anyone calls I'm not here unless it's Chrissie or Matt." She flashed a smile at her Mom and left the room.
Rachel's eyes formed with tears, Julie's smile always brought tears to her eyes. Because in Julie's smile Rachel saw her first husband Ross, the love of her life. Not that she didn't love Chandler because she did. But Ross had been her first love, the father of her children, and her soul mate. They had been married for fifteen years when his life, and the life of his sister Monica, had ended so abruptly and suddenly. Both the Gellers and the Bings had been thrown into tragedy and heartbreak like none of them had ever seen before.
The love relationship between Chandler and Rachel had been gradual and accidental. Both of them had been completely and totally in love with their respective spouses and neither of them were looking to fall in love again. They were just looking to heal from their unbelievable heartbreak. What neither of them expected is that they both would find solace and new love in each other's arms…
2 1/2 years earlier………
Ross, Rachel, 15-year-old Julie Geller, 13-year-old Samantha Geller, Monica, Chandler, and 14-year-old Daniel Bing were all gathered at Ross and Rachel's house for a cookout. The weather was perfect outside and the three teens were playing Frisbee in the backyard, while the adults were sitting around talking. Rachel was sitting in Ross' lap and Monica and Chandler were holding hands. They were laughing and reminiscing about old times.
"I wish Phoebe and Joey were here. I miss them." Rachel sighed.
"Yeah, it's definitely not the same with them in California." Ross kissed her and stood up to check the grill. "Damn, I'm going to have to go get more propane."
Chandler, ever the sarcastic, chimed in, "Dude, don't you think you should have checked that before you started the hamburgers?"
"Yeah probably. Well I will just run down to Jack's and get some."
Monica stood up, "Hey Ross, I'll go with you cause I want to get something else to go with the dessert I brought." She grabbed her purse and gave Chandler a kiss, "I'll be right back."
Ross hollered out to the kids, "Anyone need anything from Jack's?"
They all just looked at him and started playing Frisbee again, "Guess not sweetie," Rachel said to Ross, "I would go with you but I have to watch the corn and stuff in on the stove." She gave him a quick kiss as he and Monica left.
Rachel and Chandler sat there talking about work and watching their kids. Ten minutes stretched into twenty and twenty minutes stretched into thirty. Chandler looked at his watch, "Did Ross go to the Jack's that's like a mile away or the Jack's in Brazil? Course it's Ross, he drives so slow that they probably just got there."
Rachel laughed, "They'll be here any minute. Everything else is ready so as soon as he gets here we'll throw the burgers on before everything gets cold."
Fifteen minutes later there was still no sign of Ross and Monica. "Mom, I'm starved!" Julie said, "When is Dad gonna be here?"
"He'll be here any minute, Julie, why don't you come help me the rest of this food and Sam, can you throw a pot of water onto boil I'm going to go ahead and boil the hotdogs or else we'll never eat." Sam went into the house and came back out almost immediately. "Samantha Christine Geller, there's no way that you could have already put those hotdogs on-" Rachel started to lecture her.
"Mom, two police officers just pulled into our driveway. Is something wrong?"
"I don't know honey. Stay here girls." She opened the gate and walked around to the front of the house.
The two policemen were standing on the porch. When they saw her come around the corner they walked off the porch towards her. "Are you Mrs. Ross Geller?"
"Yes, I'm Rachel Geller." Panic had set in now, "What's wrong?"
"We're sorry to have to tell you this ma'am but your husband was killed this afternoon in a traffic accident. He was killed instantly when a car pulled out in front of him."
Rachel just stood there for a moment letting the reality and finality of the situation sink in, "NO!" she screamed, "NO!" she fell down onto her knees sobbing loudly. Her screaming brought Chandler and the kids from the backyard.
"Rach?" Chandler dropped down next to her, "Rach?"
He looked at the officers, "What's going on?"
"Are you related to Ross Geller?" one of the officers asked.
"Yes, I'm his brother-in-law."
"He died this afternoon in a car accident."
"Oh my God Monica!!!" Chandler realized, "My wife was with him in the car. Where is she? Where is Monica?"
"The woman that was with him was lifeline to Bethpage Hospital. She was in very bad shape."
By now, Julie and Sam had dropped down onto their knees next to their mother and they were all three shaking and crying. Chandler touched Rachel's shoulder, "I've got to go to Bethpage and check on Monica." Tears were streaming down his face, "I hate to leave you alone Rach."
"I want to come with you." She said, standing up, "I missed my chance to say goodbye to Ross. I don't want to miss that chance with Monica if there is a chance."
Within minutes the five of them were rushing into the Emergency Room at Bethpage Hospital. Chandler ran up to the desk and told them who he was. He was immediately taken back to where Monica was. Rachel and the kids sat down in the waiting room still in shock. The girls had not stopped crying and sat in their chairs, with their arms draped around each other still sobbing for the father that they had lost. Chandler came out after a while and the grief was written all over his face, "Monica is in a coma." He started to sob, "she is completely brain dead and they want me to take her off life support."
Daniel rose to his feet and ran out of the room not wanting the girls to see him cry. Chandler went after him, and Rachel pulled her girls in closer to hug her. The tears started up again when she realized that she had already lost the most important people in her life today, her wonderful husband and her best friend. How would she ever be able to survive without them?
The next few days went by in a whirlwind. Monica was said goodbye to and cried over. When the life support was disconnected, Chandler, Daniel and Rachel were in all the room. When she slipped from this life she was surrounded by three of the people who loved her the most in the world. Phoebe and Joey flew in from California to attend the memorial services and to comfort their grieving friends.
After Monica's memorial service Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and Rachel were all sitting in what was now only Chandler's apartment drinking coffee.
"Oh my God, it's empty in this place without Monica." Chandler said. "How in the hell am I going to survive this?"
Phoebe grabbed his hand, "You will survive this, Chandler because Monica loved you so much and she would want you to remember her laughing and cleaning and loving you and your son. She would want you to make her proud, so proud of you Chandler."
Rachel was crying again. "I'm glad that Jack and Judy have already gone. This would have killed them, like's it killing me only worse." Joey came over to Rachel and hugged her tightly.
The four of them sat there for a long time crying over the friends, lovers, and spouses that they had lost. They sat there wondering how their lives would ever get back to a sense of normalcy and how in the hell they were ever going to survive without the people that they loved the most.
Montage: My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion is playing in the background. Chandler telling Monica he loves her for the first time, Ross and Rachel's kiss after watching The Prom Video, Monica popping up unexpectedly from Chandler's bed in London, Ross and Rachel kissing in the planetarium, Monica and Chandler's wedding, Ross and Rachel's wedding, both couples playing cards together, Julie's birth, Daniel's birth, and Samantha's birth.
Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.
Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.
Ross and Rachel kissing passionately, Chandler and Monica lying in bed together, Ross and Rachel making a toast to each other over a candlelight dinner, Monica and Chandler holding hands watching Daniel play at a baseball game. Ross and Monica leaving to go to the store, the kids playing Frisbee in the backyard, the police arriving at the house, Chandler, Rachel, and Daniel sitting with Monica when they disconnected her life support, scenes from both Ross' and Monica's memorial services.
Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime,
And never let go till we're gone.
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on.
Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on
Scenes of both Ross and Monica from babyhood until adulthood and as the song ends there is one of both them together hugging just a few days before the accident.
You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on.
We'll stay forever this way,
You are safe in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.
Six Months later…
Chandler and Rachel's families had been spending lots of time together since the tragic accident. It was less painful for everyone to have other people around. The two Geller girls and Daniel were as close as ever. However, Daniel seemed resentful of this newfound relationship between his father and Rachel. His resentment grew deeper as Rachel and Chandler spent more time together than they ever had before. They seemed to take solace in being together, almost as if they each had pieces of their beloved spouses with them when they were together. The families gathered just about every night for pizza or movies or card games, anything to keep their minds off the immense pain and sorrow that they were all still trying to sort through.
One night Julie suggested that Rachel and Chandler go out for a nice dinner just the two of them. Rachel immediately rejected the idea, "Julie, it's too soon."
"Mom for crying out loud, it's not a date or anything. It's just you and Uncle Chandler have been really stressed since Dad and Aunt Monica died and I think it would be good for you to two to get just away from everything and relax. Have dinner, go dancing, get drunk, whatever."
Chandler agreed with Julie and soon he and Rachel were sitting at Tivoli's having dinner. They had chosen a restaurant carefully, because they did not want to eat at someplace where there would be too many memories of Ross and Monica. At first they just sat quietly eating their salads. Finally Chandler spoke up, "Well this is fun."
Rachel smiled at him, "Yeah it is. I didn't realize how depressing my life has really been lately until Julie brought it to my attention. God, she's so much like Ross, she always knows just what to say," her eyes got teary, "and when she smiles at me it's like having Ross right here with me."
Chandler sighed, "I never knew lonely until I lost Monica. I lay there in bed at night alone and my God I miss her. The way she smelt, the sound of her breathing. I've thought about dating again, but I just feel like it would be betraying her."
"I don't even have a desire to date. I will never love anyone like I love Ross, and it just wouldn't be fair to any new man in my life."
"Well my depressed friend, would you like to dance?" Chandler invited.
"Sure my depressed friend." Rachel smiled at him and the moved on to the dance floor. At first they both felt a little awkward but eventually they were able to hold each other as they danced. "This is nice." Rachel smiled up at him.
"Yeah it is." He kissed the top of her head. Rachel gasped, as memories of Ross flooded over her. She broke away from Chandler and went back to the table.
"Rach, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"It's not your fault Chandler, but you see that's why I'm worried about dating again. Every time another man kisses me or holds my hand I'm going to think of Ross. God, I love him so much still."
"I understand, really I do. I feel the same way about Monica. Why don't we call it a night?" he grabbed her coat, "Let's just get you home."
Later that night snuggled into her own bed; Rachel clutched a photo of Ross next to her chest and cried her eyes out. How could it still be this hard after six months? Would the pain ever go away? She would give anything to see him one more time, to kiss him, to hold him, to tell him she loved him one more time. Her mind wandered back to the day of the accident and her memories of Ross on that day. She was so glad that they had made love that morning, and that they had kissed before he left. Ross died knowing that she loved him, but part of her wished she would have went with him and that way she wouldn't be the one left trying to live without him.
Chandler was also lying in bed completely uncovered and restless. He couldn't get his mind off what had happened tonight. He hadn't meant to make life more painful for Rachel. He more than anyone else understood what she was going through. It was times like these that he longed for his sweet Monica, she always knew exactly what to do to help him get out of these situations that he always got himself into. He finally decided that he would call Rachel in the morning and apologize again. He didn't want anything to come between their friendship.
Nine months following the accident…
Chandler was sitting at his desk, trying to concentrate on his paperwork. But he couldn't stop thinking about Rachel. He couldn't stop thinking about happy he was when he was with her and how she had helped to dull his own pain. He glanced up and saw a picture of Monica smiling at him. He realized at that moment that while he would always, always love Monica he was starting to let other people into his life. He realized that he was falling in love with Rachel. And he hadn't meant to. It was just natural after spending so much time with her, and growing so close to her, both of them trying to move past the pain they still felt. The last three months had been very special. Chandler and Rachel had lunch together almost every day and they still spent many dinners together with their kids. But Chandler was starting to realize that he wanted to be with Rachel, not just because she could help heal the longing in his heart. But because he really liked being with Rachel, she was a phenomenal and sweet person. No one could ever replace Monica, but he thought she would approve of him loving Rachel. Monica would want both of them to be happy and loved. Chandler grabbed the phone and dialed Rachel's work number.
"Rachel Geller," she answered.
"Hey Rach," Chandler asked, "I was wondering if you would like to grab some lunch with me this afternoon?"
Rachel smiled at the sound of his voice. Chandler was such a good friend. "How is that different from any other day? Ummm let me look at my calendar. I think that will work. Where should we meet?"
"How about I pick you up at your office and then we can decide."
"That sounds good. See you in a few minutes."
Chandler was at Rachel's office within ten minutes of his phone call. "Let's go to that new deli down the street, I feel like a good sandwich." She suggested.
"That will work." Chandler smiled at her, "You know if Joey were here he would tell us to get him a meatball sandwich."
Rachel laughed, "Yeah he would be mad knowing we are going without him too." She grabbed her purse and they walked out of her office and down the street to the deli.
Once they were both seated at the table, Chandler asked Rachel how her day had been going.
"It's going pretty well. We got this new shipment in of really great stuff. Julie will be so excited. She will want to come down and look at this stuff. It's a whole new line all for teenagers very trendy and upbeat.'
Chandler smiled, "I love how passionate you are about your work."
"Well, it helps to have something to keep my mind off things." They both looked down at their plates. "I'm sorry I brought that up," Rachel said softly. "So, how are things for you?"
"Good. Good. Actually I came to a realization today."
"You did? A good realization or a bad realization?"
"Well I think it's good."
"Are you going to share this realization with me?"
Chandler smiled at her, "No not yet. I'm not ready to share it with anyone yet. Maybe someday I will share it with you."
Rachel took a bite out of her pickle, "Oh okay. Well, I'm here if you ever want to share." She put her hand on his arm in a friendly way, "I don't know how I would have made it without you Chandler. I want you to know that."
"I understand completely, Rach. I understand completely."
Over the next several weeks, Chandler tried very hard to contain his new feelings for Rachel. He could tell that she thought nothing more of him than a friend. She was still madly in love with Ross. His name still came up constantly. Chandler understood, Monica was still often in his thoughts and he loved her so much still, yet he knew that he had to move on with his life. Monica would want him too.
The worst day for Rachel fell on April 17. It would have been her and Ross' sixteenth wedding anniversary. She called in sick to her office that day and after the girls left for school she crawled into bed. She had a box of cards and pictures lying next to her on the pillow and a bottle of wine in her hand. She took a card out of the box and opened it and read it. This started the tears; they flowed freely down her cheeks as she remembered her husband through his pictures and his cards. Every so often she would take a large drink out of the bottle of wine. The card from their last anniversary brought the most heart wrenching reaction from Rachel, her eyes tearfully and lovingly scanned the message written in Ross' familiar handwriting, "To my most beautiful wife, how much I love you is hard to put into words. I have had you by my side for fifteen fabulous years and no one could ever make me as happy as you have. Here's to fifteen more. Love with all my heart, Ross" Rachel flung the card across the room and threw herself down onto the floor sobbing and clutching the carpet with her knuckles.
"Why did you leave me dammit?" She screamed, "I loved you so much, and you abandoned me! You left me here to try and live without you, and it's too hard. It's too hard! Dammit Ross! Damn you!" Suddenly Rachel felt comforting arms around her. She looked up surprised to see Chandler holding her. "Chandler, how did you?"
"Shh Rach. Let it out. It's okay." After that he just held her while she sobbed.
The next day over lunch Rachel thanked Chandler for being there for her. "I don't know how you knew to come over, but I'm glad you did." She smiled at him. "I'm glad that I was able to let it all out before Julie and Sam came home. They've suffered enough without seeing their Mom all messed up."
"I just knew what day it was and that you would need a friend. I remember going through Monica's death all over again on what would have been our anniversary. You were reliving the good times and Ross' death all over again. It's natural that you would be upset."
Rachel gave him a weak smile, "I don't know if I will ever get past this."
Chandler tried to smile back at her, but his spirits were low. Those were not the words that he wanted to hear from her. He knew that the only thing that he could do for her besides listen was to give her time.