Neither GW nor any of the characters belong to me. How sad.
It's kinda funny to think of Heero getting captured. Being caught is something you'd expect from the rest of us, but not The Perfect Soldier. So any of us saving his "perfect" little ass seems just outa place enough for me to find it terribly amusing. But then I find a lot of things terribly amusing that probably aren't. First off, the rescue was total déjà vu, except with reverse positions. I was the one pointing the gun and he was the one leaning against the wall for support. Of course in typical Yuy manner, he kept his mouth shut when I pointed the gun at him. Not that I expected much different. I'm the one who feels he's gotta go out making as much noise as possible. So what's one to do in the face of all that nothing? Just lower the gun and half carry the silent shithead along the preplanned escape route. Because unlike Mr. Perfect Soldier, we'd planned for escape all along. Less chance of screwing it up that way. Killing him was a last resort. In any case, a shitload of explosions and innumerable dead bodies later, we were as safe as we ever can be and on our way back to the others at the (relatively) safe house.
Right, so once were back we briefly let the others in on what happened. Briefly, cuz Heero's been a prisoner for some time and he really oughta get some sleep. I drag him off to bed, except he's not tired. Under a lot of stress, but far to keyed up to be tired. This brings me to something I've gotta clear up. Heero and I are not now nor have we ever been a couple. Probably never will be, due to two different yet equally important reasons: 1) Heero does not love me; 2) I do not love Heero. However, Heero is under orders to get laid regularly and to keep as far off the OZ and civilian radar as possible. Unfortunately, to him and to that lunatic J (Sheesh, who has a letter as a name? Well, all the lunatic physicists, but that wasn't the point) keeping off the radar means killing any civilians he has to fuck. Now to me, a string of dead whores seems like an attention getter, but I'm only Shinigami, what do I know? Just enough to feel bad for those girls and that Heero doesn't want to kill more people than he has to. So in the spirit of friendship and protecting innocent bystanders (well, civilian bystanders in any case) Heero's now fucking me. But we're not dating. But back to the topic, he wasn't sleepy so he wanted to fuck and I was ready to go along with it. What was I gonna do, sleep? Well, every thing went as usual until he started to speak.
"You're beautiful." I nearly fell out of bed with shock. Heero never complements anyone with words. The best I've got is he doesn't bring his gun into bed. From him, that's a lot, especially since he knows mine's under the pillow. Though he may just think he could get to it faster than I ever could. Point being, he would never say I was beautiful. So obviously what I was dealing with wasn't Heero. Pretending it was all a part of the sex, I tied him up. He let me. So not Heero.
"Does that hurt, Lover?" The thing in bed grunted in a very Heero-like manner. Not close enough to fool me, though; I was already certain. "Good."
What else could I do? I got dressed, gagged him, and grabbed the others.
They were obviously a bit surprised that I'd dragged them into my bedroom with a naked soldier tied to my bed. Understandable, I guess, though only Wu-Fei made any verbal comment.
"Your desire for attention has reached new heights." Fei was pissed. Quatre seemed more embarrassed. Trowa was embarrassed and curious.
"Give up the moral high ground, Wu-man; that's not Heero." Now they were all curious. Still embarrassed, but curious as well.
"You have some special way to tell?" The nice thing about Fei is that no matter how he feels, he'll always act angry.
"Well, first he said I was beautiful." This got the biggest reaction from Quatre.
"You…you figured out he wasn't your boyfriend because he…he complemented you?" It sounds bad put that way, doesn't it? But as I have already said:
"He's not my boyfriend." There are few things more irritating then a blank look; they make me talk twice as much. I was getting three of them. Six times the chatter. "It's not just that. He let me tie him up. Heero'd never do that. He's got a thing about being tied up."
The problem with mindless chatter is you always say something you hope no one else noticed. Often no one does, since they aren't usually listening. But sometimes it just doesn't work. All three of them caught it. Of course Fei would be the one to comment.
"He's got a thing about being tied up?" I shrugged.
"Doesn't everyone, in one way or another." God that sounded lame. And now I was the subject of the inquiry.
"So you're not dating Heero?" Quatre ventured.
"Right."
"But you are sleeping with him?" Poor innocent Kat, so easily confused. The explanation would probably have lasted the rest of the night, but Trowa got us back on topic.
"And that's not Heero?" Of course everyone but him had forgotten the original point.
"Right. So what are we going to do?" The question was directed at all of them, but Trowa answered.
"Question him."
Interrogating someone is never a pretty task. Kat left the room early on of his own free will. Fei thought it would be weak to leave, but it bugged him so much Trowa asked him to check on Kat out of pity. With a reasonable excuse, he got out so fast you could almost see a smoke trail. Not that anyone would blame him. Hell, I was almost sick from it. It would have been better if the guy had given us anything, but he was just a soldier. He was ordered to do some spying, so he submitted to whatever mad docs OZ has and they tried to turn him into Heero. They did a pretty good job, too. Lucky for us he talked too much. Damn lucky, since when we questioned him he showed signs of Heero's reluctance to change ideas into words.
Not getting any real information, we left the imperfect soldier tied up and took the results (or rather lack of results) to Fei and Kat. Of course Kat suggested another rescue attempt on our part, but we were still left with the spy. We knew we had to kill him; just no one wanted to do it. It's hard enough killing a faceless enemy in battle. At least you have the excuse that if you didn't kill them, they'd kill you right then and there. Plus, with your blood up you wouldn't feel bad about until later. A personal kill in cold blood feels worse. It eats at you before, during and after. Obviously Trowa wasn't gonna let Kat do it. He's such a protective boyfriend; it almost makes me jealous. Trowa took one of those throwing knives he's got and spun it on the table; whoever it pointed at had to play executioner. The Devil's luck struck once again. I had to kill him. I drew my gun (you didn't think I'd leave it under my pillow with a spy tied to my bed) and went back in.
"You're going to kill me." It felt even worse once he said it. He'd know it was coming. What else could I expect from a soldier?
"Yeah," It was kinda embarrassing. I felt like shit. The God of Death himself felt like shit about executing some guy. But he was a soldier, under orders and the indignity of being naked, tied up, and shot seemed wrong. "Do you want to…pray or something? You're not gonna get confession or last rites."
The spy snorted and half-smiled. "How 'bout you blow me before you kill me, Beautiful?"
Yeah right. I shot him in the side of his head (he died quick you dirty-minded bastards). The full effect of his comment sank in and I laughed. He'd found the perfect way to get me to stop thinking and shoot. And he'd laughed at death. That imperfect soldier reminded me of me.
The second rescue was almost identical to the first. Though when I pointed the gun at Heero and said "Déjà vu all over again" he didn't laugh. He did speak, though.
"Shoot me." After all that work to get him he still thought I was gonna kill him. Some things never change.
Of course we did have to tell him about the spy. This brought on quick, efficient criticism of my intelligence and of my skills, but at least Quatre pointed out that they hadn't been able to tell either and that at least I'd figured it out. Once we were alone, Heero asked me how.
"He said I was beautiful." Sitting up on the bed, Heero studied me very carefully. He stared long enough to seriously creep me out. Finally satisfied with his examination, he looked into my eyes.
"He was right. You are." Aw fuck it! I don't have time for this.