One more night.
I regret how I let last night play out. It was the night that my heart had finally crumbled and shattered into a million pieces right in front of the kids. I had been strong for far too long and last night had made me crumbled in a blubbering wreck.
I had fooled even my heart into believing that what Cloud and I had created was more than just a dream it was really my reality and therefore what happened last night made everything shattered into most likely un-repairable pieces.
He was leaving and forever well by the looks of it, he had been distant for a good few weeks now and I knew this day was coming eventually it would. He couldn't be cooped up, stuck in the same place for too long, he needed freedom and large open spaces, which I understood, after all who wouldn't when they had been through what he had?
~*~
12 hours earlier
"Please stay!" I cry tears running fast and free down my cheeks
"I can't" Cloud barely whispers his voice sombre
"Why not please Cloud I need you please just stay I-I-I" I choke but no matter how hard I try I can't force the words that cause my heart to ache so much. He does turn though and face me and a small sad smile graces my features as he softly smiles at me.
Its then the most amazing thing happens, my heart shatters, my mind goes blank, heart is racing as his soft lips chaste against mine and without any conscious effort my hands find their way into his blonde spikes and I pull him closer. When we do pull apart the first thing out of my mouth is me begging for him to stay once more.
"Please stay at least one more night please?" I beg the tears returning, I know it will mean that I'm just delaying the heartbreak by another day but maybe just maybe it may convince him to stay.
"Alright one more night" he sighs his face soften and a small smile returning.
"Thanks Cloud" I smile rubbing at my eyes to get rid of the last tears that linger.
He takes my hand and leads me to my room. I'll admit I was a little confused especially when he closes the door behind him and he's not on the other side of it. He leads me over to my bed and lays me down on it and then he's hovering over me and his lips once more consume mine and again my hands are in his hair and his hands are wrapping around me and within seconds snaking underneath my top.
Within what I would assume to be ten minutes we are both lying naked in front of each other, his body is more glorious than I ever dreamed. The scars that cover his chest make him damaged but so very sexy. We've just been starting at each other for ages like we are frozen in time and its during that time my heart has settled down well enough anyway. He's the first one to make a move rolling onto to me so that he's hovering over me again. I'm lost in his beautiful blue eyes that I don't respond right away to his touch on my bear chest. I gasped when his mouth covered mine again and after that I really can't remember what happened.
Just as I had known all along the heart ache came the following morning when I woke up alone and naked with just a thin sheet covering my rather sore body. Removing myself from my bed I grab the clothes off the floor and shove them on just to sweep the house in case he's not actually left which I already know is false hope but it doesn't stop me.
Opening the front door to find Fenrir gone is what makes my heart shatter again into more than a billion pieces. Tears immediately fill my eyes. How stupid could I of been to think he would of stayed even after a night of passion and spilling my heart out to him would of been enough to make him stay but I couldn't off been more wrong.
I'm still collapsed in a heap with tears staining my face when the children come down stairs. I wouldn't of noticed if Marlene hadn't wrapped her arms around me and asked me what was wrong.
"Teef why are you so sad?" Marlene asks in a hushed tone.
How can I answer that? I have to be strong, I can't tell them it because Cloud's gone, they have enough to worry about without adding me to the mix. However I had forgotten that Denzel was far too aware for his age.
"It's because Cloud's left again isn't it?" Denzel asked and suddenly I felt like I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I couldn't tell them could I? I had to be strong but strong no longer seemed to be in my vocabulary anymore as I didn't feel strong.
"How about I make you some pancakes for breakfast" I say plastering a smile on my face as I try to change the subject.
"Yeah!" Marlene cheers, I dare a look at the door and then to Denzel, he does nothing but nod. He understands far too much of the adult world for a 10 year old it's heart breaking. I smile back and then make my way into the kitchen to start on the pancakes.
After breakfast and the dishes have been cleaned the day continues on like any other really. The kids go to school, I do house hold chores and prepare the bar for opening tonight, while my mind keeps replaying last night over and over again in my mind.
Just as he settled beside me after removing himself from me he had whispered the words I had longed to hear.
"I love you" his voice is so gentle and sincere it melts my heart.
"I love you too" I smile and he pulls me close resting his head on mine and pressing a chaste kiss to my forehead.
Those three words if I hadn't heard them would things be different? If I hadn't said them again would things be different? Of course not he was leaving no matter what and nothing would stop him from doing so in the end. But I least my heart aches a little less in the knowledge that he had left knowing that I had told him what I really felt for him and that we had shared a magical night with together.
I decided that it would be that thought would get me through the dark times ahead and I prayed it would help him too. With that last thought I got back to work as another costumer had asked for yet another cocktail and therefore my time for daydreaming was over once again.
Finally closing time came around and tonight I hadn't faced too much of a problem with any frankly disgusting men that tried to hit on me especially when I was closing up for the night.
It had indeed passed without any problems so with that I quickly wiped down the bar and I would leave the rest until the morning. Just when I went to lock the back door that was when I came face to face with him standing in the kitchen.
sorry I haven't uploaded this here before now I lost all my work when my last computer broke and it's takeb a long time to get anything back