Roller-Coaster Ride Part I

by EOforeverrr

The Benson-Stabler family is constantly on emotional turns. What will happen to them in the end? Will this be a happy ending for them? Read "Roller-Coaster Ride" and find out now!

Roller-Coaster Ride

Chapter 1

"Hey, Liv I'm home." said the loving husband Elliot Stabler to his winning bride Olivia (Benson) Stabler. "Hey babe. In the kitchen." replied Olivia. She felt herself being pulled into a melting hug, given by Elliot. "How was your day?" "It was o-" "DADDY!" cried a voice as a little girl bounced into the room. "Jitterbug!" Elliot said in return as his 4 year old girl sprang into his arms. "How's my Casey?" "Hehe I'm good!" "Sweetheart," her mother interrupted. "It's time for bed. Say goodnight to daddy." "Awe mommy." "Casey." She said in her warning voice. "Okay," yawned her baby as she gave her daddy goodnight kisses. "Goodnight daddy." "Goodnight baby." he answered, giving his daughter a bunch of kisses. Casey wriggled into her mother's arms and Liv took her upstairs to her room. "Goodnight sweetie." Liv said as she tucked her into bed. "Goodnight mommy." said Casey, dozing into sleep. As Liv turned away she slipped right into another one of those hugs from her husband. "Hmm can I help you?" she smiled as she began to kiss him. "Yes you can." He smiled back at her. "Umm...Casey?" Liv said and she motioned toward the sleeping form there in the little bed. "Alright, let's go to the bedroom." "That sounds better." She grinned as they walked to their bedroom which was right down the hall.

Chapter 2

As they were in their bed making love to each other, Liv paused. "El?" she said. "Hmm?" he replied softly. "We need to talk." Liv said as she looked up to him with her big, brown eyes. "Why?" "Because we never talk anymore." "Yes we do." "No we don't. You haven't been home in a week due to Cragen keeping you overtime and even if he doesn't keep you overtime you aren't home till after Casey and I are already in the bed." she cried. His blue eyes met hers. Tears were starting to fill her eyes. "Alright well what do you want to talk about?" "How are things at SVU?" "Fine...Everyone says it's not the same without you there." he said as she moved and placed her head on his bare chest. "Yea I know, I miss it so much but I can't work there and be here for Casey." Liv was at a big loss for having to leave SVU to be home to raise their little girl, who was just in the other room. "I know you miss it sweetheart, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices. It's going to be alright Liv, I promise." he tried to comfort her by rubbing her shoulder and kissed her forehead. "Thank you." she said plainly. "For what?" he replied, confused. "For being here when I needed someone to listen to me." Liv started to cry again, but held it back. She had been so stressed with leaving SVU and Casey. Elliot felt a tear drop onto his bare chest. He looked to see what seemed to be that she had already started to drift off to sleep. He whispered, "Shhh. Shhh. It'll be alright Liv. I love you." She heard him and in reply she softly whispered back, "I love you too." The next morning Olivia awoke to no one next to her in the bed...typical. She heard a rustling downstairs and quickly got up. Olivia grabbed her robe, put it on, and hurried downstairs. As she entered into the living room, a voice called out to her. "Good morning babe!" She turned to see Elliot standing behind the island in their kitchen. Why was he still here this late in the morning? She moved into the kitchen, "Hi." she finally said back. Elliot came closer to her and gave her a morning kiss. "Did you sleep well?" No answer. Olivia's mind was somewhere else right then. "Liv? Are you ok?" No answer. "Liv." he shook her to make sure she was not about to faint or something. "Huh?" Her eyes clicked on his. "Are you alright?" She shook her head. "Yea why wouldn't I be?" she moved toward the coffee pot but he took her arm. "What?!" she exclaimed. He knew there was something wrong with Olivia. "Olivia, what's wrong."

Chapter 3

They went and sat on the couch. "What do you mean what's wrong?" "You aren't being yourself today." "Huh? Oh I guess I'm just tired." she said, again shaking her head. "Alright. If that's all..." he let her go. "Elliot I'm just so tired and stressed and upset and I don't know what to do!" she confessed and cried out for her husband's help. "It's alright Liv, it's alright. Shh. Shh." he cradled her in his arms. He knew that she was going through a lot of stuff right now and would do anything to help her. "What do I do?!" she continued to cry. "Well right now you need to go back to bed and get some much needed rest." he told her. "But what about Ca-" "Don't worry about her I will stay here with you two." "What about work?" "They know you need me. I'll call in a few minutes, now go back to bed." he said caringly. She did so. She again woke but this time to someone screaming downstairs. Olivia didn't hesitate this time she bolted down and stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "I WANT MOMMY!" cried Casey. Elliot was trying to calm her down. "No, mommy is really, really tired and she needs to sleep." "Why?!" Casey answered not knowing her mother was just around the corner listening to her. Olivia couldn't take anymore. She turned the corner and called out to her upset child. "Casey come here baby!" Casey ran with full power to her mommy. "Mommy!?" Casey said, now in her mother's loving arms. "What's wrong Casey?!" "I fell and hurt my head." Casey told her mother tears falling down her little cheeks. "Awe baby. Why couldn't daddy help you?" "Because I wanted my mommy." Olivia wiped the tears from her child's eyes. "It's ok Jitterbug. Hey, mommy doesn't feel good so why don't you sit here with daddy and y'all do something together." She now had a huge headache from all the commotion. "Ok mommy. But what's wrong?" Casey didn't like it when her mommy didn't feel good. "I'm just really, really tired." Olivia knew her daughter wouldn't understand if she said 'I'm really stressed and upset' so she just said tired, and she was that too. "Oh ok. Daddy!" Casey slid out of her mother's arms. "Alright El I'm going back upstairs, call me if you need anything." "K babe. I love you." "Love you too." With that, she hit the bed and was asleep in five minutes flat.

Chapter 4

It was finally nighttime when Olivia was disturbed, not by anyone, but by a dream, or a nightmare rather, that she had just had. She looked at the clock, 9:00. "El?!" she called out, because she had to tell him of her horrible nightmare. "Yea Liv?" Elliot had just put Casey in the bed sound asleep and he walked into their bedroom and got in the bed next to Olivia. "Umm…" she didn't know how to tell him about her dream. "What is it honey?" he was starting to get a little worried. "Umm…I had a nightmare." She told him and he sat up and looked at her. "Awe Liv, I'm sorry. What was it about?" He wrapped her in his arms to sooth her. "Well, it started like this, I had gone out to buy groceries and spend some alone time with myself. I came home at around 9:00 and I opened the door. You were upstairs…with another woman. And we had a huge fight and then the next thing I knew, we were getting a divorce." She finally confessed about her dream to him. "That…won't ever…happen, will it?" She added, hoping to get the answer she wanted. "Ohh Liv that will never happen, ever. I love you too much to even think about going to another woman and leaving you. I would die before I would ever cheat on you. So don't you ever worry about us getting a divorce, it will NEVER happen." He reassured his wife as she laid in his arms. "Ok, I...it just scared me to even think that something that horrible could ever happen to us." "No, it will never happen. If that ever comes to your mind tell me, or anything for that matter." They finally went to sleep, her head on his shoulder, his head on hers, and arms around the both of them. One week later, they were celebrating Elliot's birthday. April 2, 2012. He was turning 51. "Happy birthday baby!" called Olivia as she brought the cake into the dining room. "Thanks honey." He replied just as she set the cake on the table. He pulled her into a long kiss and everyone there hooped and hollered. Olivia laughed just a little, amused by all their friends. She pulled away still laughing, cut the cake, and handed it out. After the party, Liv was cleaning up when someone grabbed her from behind. She knew it wasn't Elliot because he was taking a shower in the master bathroom. Who was it?! She tried to scream, but she couldn't breathe. The guy hit her multiple times with his fists and she fell, unconscious.

Chapter 5

Elliot finished his shower and got out. After he dried off and put clothes on he went back into the bedroom. He noticed that Liv wasn't in there. "Where is she?" he wondered. He figured she was still cleaning downstairs. "Hey, Liv." He called. No answer. "Liv." He tried again. Still no answer. "Oh My G-Liv!" By that time he was in the kitchen and kneeling down by his wife. "Liv? Liv wake up!" She didn't move. He shook her but she just laid there, motionless. Elliot called the ambulance and all of the guys from the squad room. SVU…"the guys", showed up about right when he hung up the phone. Fin went upstairs to get Casey while the others collected evidence from around Liv. Melinda got Liv on a gurney and got in to ride with her to the hospital. Cragen told Elliot to go with Liv to the hospital and that they would finish up there. "Cap. I can't leave I want to find out who did this." He tried to explain to Cragen. "No, Elliot, Olivia needs you. Go, and that's an order." Cragen demanded quickly. "Thanks Cap." Elliot said as he hopped into the back of the ambulance. He held Olivia's hand through the whole ride, praying that she didn't die. He loved her so much and he didn't ever want to lose her. When they finally got to the hospital the doctors got Liv out of the ambulance truck and hurried her in to Mercy General Hospital. Elliot was right there next to Liv, when a nurse tried to pull him back. "Sir, you can't go back the-" "THAT'S MY WIFE!" "Sir, sir! I'm sorry you cannot go back there!" Elliot tried so hard to get back there to be with Olivia, but the nurses and doctors wouldn't let him. He cried as he was sitting in the waiting room. He thought a lot about what could happen to her. He thought about what he would do if he lost her, nothing. Soon he fell asleep. About three hours later someone woke him up and he jumped. "Liv! Liv! Huh?" He was so confused. "Wh-where am I?" "Sir, you're in Mercy General Hospital." The doctor told Elliot as he was still waking up. "What?! Why am I here?!" Elliot was even more confused than before. "Umm…sir, you're here because of your wife." The doctor said in return, he thought Elliot knew why he was here. "Huh? What did she do to me?" "She didn't do anything to you sir, someone did something to her." "What?!" Elliot was fully alert now making sure he heard the doctor correctly. "Yea, someone attacked your wife a few hours ago. I came to tell you that you are welcome to see her now." It didn't take Elliot more than a second to jump at the offer. "Where is she?!" He asked impatiently, wanting to see his wife. "Right in here." The doctor said, as he opened the door to Olivia's hospital room.

Chapter 6

"Liv!" Elliot exclaimed as he couldn't bear to see Liv like this. "Elliot, I'm fine…What happened?" Olivia was just as confused as Elliot was. "Sweetheart, someone attacked you." Elliot had by that time remembered what had happened. "What?" Olivia gasped, letting the tears stream down her cheeks. Elliot grabbed her hand and wiped the tears away. "Yea, you were cleaning up downstairs when someone attacked you." Olivia rubbed her forehead and continued to cry. She turned to the doctor. "Doctor, can I go home now?" She didn't like being here in the hospital, being the victim herself. "I'm sorry Mrs. Stabler." The doctor told her. "We still need to keep you to make sure everything is ok." "I don't want to stay here!" Olivia exclaimed, wanting to go home so bad. "Liv, Liv the doctors need to make sure you're ok. It'll be alright, I'm here." Elliot tried to calm her. He could tell it wasn't working when she started getting angry. "Fine, whateve-Elliot, where is Casey?!" Elliot paused, "Oh, she is o-" "Where. Is. She!" Olivia demanded. "Liv, it's alright, she is with Fin." Elliot said, fearing what Olivia would've done if he hadn't answered her. "I want her here. Now." Not having her baby right beside her was terrible. She missed her so much, even though she had only been gone a few hours that was plenty enough. "Alright, I will get Fin to drop her off." "Thank you." A few minutes later Olivia could hear the sound of Casey screaming once again for her mommy. "Where's mommy, Daddy!?" The little girl demanded, sounding just like her mother. "Mommy's right here." Elliot told Casey as he brought her into the room. "What happened?!" Casey called to Olivia as she jumped into the hospital bed. "Shh. Shh. Casey, it's alright, mommy's fine." Olivia said, reassuring her 1 year old. About 20 minutes later, Casey and Olivia were both sound asleep. "Doctor, did the person who did this…you know…Ummm..." Elliot couldn't stand the thought of his wife being raped. "No, no sir your wife was not/is not a rape victim." Elliot could finally breathe again, just thinking about that made him want to kill the guy. "RING, RING, RING, RING." Elliot's phone shrilled. "Stabler." He answered the phone only to find out it was the Captain who called. "Yea Cap. Uhuh, yea, alright thanks." Elliot hung up and sat there. "Hey, doc. how much longer do you need to keep Olivia here?" "She can go home when she wakes up." "Ok, thanks."

Chapter 7

Elliot was so tired and needed to go home to fix up any damage that had been done during the attack. "We need to keep her for a few more hours, but you can go home if you need to." "Ok, thanks." Elliot decided to go home for a few hours and clean the house up before Olivia and Casey came home. Once he got home, he could see blood on the floor in the kitchen. "Oh my gosh." Elliot thought to himself. "How could anyone do such a thing?" Anyways, he checked the rest of the house to see how much there would be to clean up, and to his surprise, there wasn't much. Elliot worked for what seemed like a few minutes to get the house all cleaned up, but when he looked at the clock it read 6:59. "Oh no! Liv and Casey will be home in 30 minutes! I gotta get to the hospital!" Elliot thought to himself. When he arrived to the hospital, Olivia had just woken up and Casey was still sleeping. "Hey babe, how are you feeling?" Elliot asked Olivia as she was working her jaw. "I feel like someone put rocks into my head." Olivia stared at him blankly. "Oh, well I will get you something for that on the way home." "No, it's fine. We have some Tylenol at home." "Alright, let me go check you out and I will be right back." "K, I'll be here." And with that, Elliot was off to go check her out so they could go home. When they got home, Elliot opened the door for Olivia and helped her out of the car. "Mmm…Thanks hon." Olivia said, wincing just a little bit. "You're welcome love." After Elliot helped Olivia out of the car, he reached into the back seat and got Casey, who was still sleeping. "Wow, El did you do this?" Olivia was shocked over how clean the house was. "Yea, I did that before I came back to the hospital to get you two." "Thank you, I had figured that I would be the one cleaning up that mess." Olivia laughed. "Why would I make you do that?" He laughed as he was putting Casey on the couch. "Haha I don't know." she said back. "Hey, why don't you catch a few hours of sleep El." Olivia told him, seeing that he was so tired and needed some sleep. "Are you sure Liv?" "Yes darling, go upstairs a get some sleep." "Alright, thanks babe, call me if you need anything?" "Yea, I will." "Ok Liv, goodnight…morning, whatever." "Hahaha ok, love you." "Love you too." Elliot said as he was going up the stairs.

Chapter 8

When he woke up he smelled a familiar scent. It was the smell of rose petals and soap. Olivia was taking a bubble bath. He could hear the sound of relaxing love music and Olivia was singing along to it. He loved the sound of her voice, but whenever he tried to tell her that, she just laughed it off. He started to drift off to sleep again when Olivia got in the bed. "Hey El." She said in a soft voice. "Hey." He replied back. "Are you feeling better?" "A little but I'll live." She smiled and as she was starting to go to sleep a voice cried through the baby monitor. "Daddy!" Olivia heard the cry and woke Elliot up. "What!" He said. "Casey is calling for you." Olivia told him. "Alright. I will bring her in here to sleep with us." He got out of bed and went into Casey's room. "What is it Casey?" "I can't sleep daddy." Casey cried. "Awe, it's ok. Come on, you can sleep with me and momma tonight." Elliot said as he took her into their bedroom. He placed her in the bed. Then, the family all fell asleep. Olivia on the left, Elliot on the right, and Casey in the middle. Life was perfect. It was a few months later until Casey's birthday. She was turning 5. They had a party at the precinct. Everyone was playing around and having fun, but somewhere in the middle, Liv trailed off. She started walking around the precinct, thinking about how much she missed working there and how much she would love to be still working there. She thought about 'what if Casey was never born' and those twelve years she had worked with Elliot and the team. She thought about all of the good and the bad times they had there, all the fights, all the tears shed, all the laughter, all the victims and perps. She wished she could still work there. She loved the thrill of winning a case, and the anger she had when they would lose. SVU is…was her life. She walked into the cribs and was still thinking, when she heard someone enter the room. "Olivia?" It was Alexandra Cabot. Liv hadn't spoken to her in years. She turned around. "Alex? Hey. When did you arrive?" "Just now, I had to pick up some paperwork. Why are you here?" Alex was the most shocked when she found out Liv wasn't working there anymore. They had been best friends since they were in diapers. "It's Casey's birthday and Elliot wanted to have the party here." "Oh, well, how've you been?" "Fine I guess and you?" "Alright, you know I miss us working together."

Chapter 9

Alex looked Olivia in the eyes. "I know, I miss working with you too. I'm sorry we never talk anymore, it's just I've been so busy and stressed. I wish it was different." Olivia felt the tears build up in her eyes. "It's not your fault Liv, we have all been really busy and stressed lately. No one said life would be easy." Alex could also feel tears building up in her eyes, only she let them fall. Olivia looked at Alex with sympathy. "Please don't cry Alex. I know everything is really hard right now, but with each other, we will get through it together." "Thanks Liv." Just then Cragen walked in. "Hey, you two ok? Do you want company?" "Umm…no. We were just talking." Alex said, trying to hide the tears and the sound of crying in her voice. "I will leave you two alone to continue talking." "Yo-You don't have to Cap…I mean Cragen." Liv said, also hiding the sound of crying in her voice. "Hey, Liv, even though you don't work here anymore, you can still call me Cap. Ok?" Olivia half smiled and nodded. "Alright, I think I'm gonna go spoil Casey some more." Cragen winked as he walked out of the room. "Alex. Listen, if you ever want to talk about anything serious, stupid, or just want to talk, call me. Ok?" Olivia told Alex as she walked over to her. "Ok. I just wish that you didn't have to leave, I enjoyed all of the times, good and bad, that we had together." "Me too Alex, me too." Olivia and Alex talked a while more, and then they went out of the cribs into the squad room. No one was there. "Umm….where did everyone go?" Alex asked, so confused. "I don't know, I will call Elliot and see where everyone went." Olivia pulled out her phone and tried to turn it on, but the battery had died. "Crap, my battery died. I'll call on the squad phone." Olivia took a seat at her old desk, it was the same way she had it the day she left. She dialed Elliot's number and waited for him to answer. "Hello?" He said. "Hey. Where is everyone?!" "Did you not get my text?" "What text? No, my phone died." "I sent you a text saying that we were moving the party to our house." "Oh, ok. Well Alex and I will be there in a few." "Alright, Love you." "Love you too, bye." "Bye." Olivia put the phone back and grabbed her jacket and purse. "Ok, come on Alex, they moved the party to our house." "Ok."

Chapter 10

When they arrived at the house, Alex looked at it in shock. "Wow, nice place Liv." "Haha thanks. I can't promise you it will look the same inside." Liv laughed. They headed inside and went into the living room, where everyone else was. "Nice to see you ladies could join us." Laughed Munch. "Haha well Elliot said he sent me a text, but my phone died. So as far as we knew, everyone was still in the squad room." Olivia said as she sat on the couch next to Elliot. "That's what phone chargers are for." Fin said sarcastically. "Aha ha. Thank you Captain Obvious." Liv joked back. Everyone laughed. "I'm glad we did this tonight. We barely ever get to see the munchkin and you Liv." Fin said. "You should really bring her by more Liv. You too, we're always glad to see y'all." Cragen told Olivia. "Ya know what? I think I will start doing that more." Olivia stated as she got up to go show Alex around. "Come on Alex, I'll show you around." "Alright." When they were gone, the guys started talking. "Ok, you guys we need to have a party for those two. Not for any reason, but just because they have both been working hard and going through a lot." Cragen told them. "Yea, I think so too. Ok, so where?" Munch asked him. "Umm….I don't know. Any ideas?" "The little space at the piers. That's a nice little place to have a party." Elliot chimed in. "That sound like a perfect place Cap. I can get some caution tape and block it off so no one messes with us." Fin offered. "Ok. Fin will take care of the place, Munch, you take care of the decorations, I will take care of the food, and Elliot, you send the invites and bring Alex and Olivia on the day of the party." "Ok Cap. When is this gonna be?" "Let's say, 5pm, next Saturday." "Alright, then it's settled. 5pm on Saturday." Right when they had finished talking about their plan, the girls walked back in. "What were y'all talking about?" Alex asked jokingly. "Nothing much, just about the Yankees game on Tuesday." Munch replied. "I'm sure." Alex replied laughing. "So, how was the tour? Messy?" Elliot asked her. "Haha, nice one El, no I did manage to pick up a few things before we left for the party." Olivia said in a sarcastic way. "No, it was decent." Alex said in return. "Oh, well that's always good to know Alex." Elliot was laughing now. Liv was just sitting there listening and thinking about how different the conversation would be if she still worked at SVU.

Chapter 11

It was about four hours later when they left. Liv was glad that the day had turned out the way it did. She got to walk around in her old work place, seen her best friend who she missed a lot, and got to sit at her old desk once again. Everyone had acted as if she was still a part of the SVU team, even though she had left months ago. They were family to her, and she felt so safe around them. She hoped to work at SVU once Casey was a little older. Just then she felt someone shaking her. "Liv, wake up. Wake up." It was Elliot. When did she go to sleep? She didn't remember going upstairs or changing or going to sleep for that matter. "What." "Wake up. It's 10am. You never sleep this late." "It's fine Elliot, we had a long day yesterday with your grandma. It's ok." "Haha I'm joking. It's only 6, but remember? We are taking Casey to my mother's house to spend some time with her." Olivia sat up. "Crap. We are aren't we." Elliot nodded. "Alright, give me an hour to get ready then we'll go." Olivia said as she grabbed a towel and headed into the bathroom. "Morning Daddy." Casey said as she walked into the bedroom. "Hey Jitterbug, What's up? Why are you up this early?" "I don't know, I just woke up." Casey's eyes were so big and brown, just like Olivia's. She walked over to Elliot. "Ok. You ready to go to Nana's house today?" Elliot helped Casey get onto the bed. "No, I don't wanna go...I wanna be with you and momma." "I'm sorry baby girl, but nana wants to see you." Casey sighed. Olivia got out of the shower and came into the room. She looked at Casey, then Elliot, then back at Casey. "Hey, Jitterbug. When did you wake up?" "I just now woke up." "Ok.? Hey, El you can go in and take your shower now." "K babe. I'll be out in a few." Olivia brushed her hair and then got the hairdryer. Casey jumped out of the bed and walked over to Olivia. She bent over in front of her and randomly started making funny faces. Olivia looked up. "Hahaha what are you doing silly goose?" Casey laughed. "Trying to make you laugh." Olivia stood up. "Well, you do that naturally, but those faces are helping." Olivia winked and laughed. Casey hugged Olivia. Olivia hugged her back. She got back to drying her hair, when there was a knock on the door. Olivia sighed and went downstairs. When she opened the door, no one was there. "Whatever." Olivia said to herself as she closed the door and went back upstairs to finish her hair. When they were finished getting ready and was on the road headed to Nana's, a familiar song came on the radio.

Chapter 12

"Oh my gosh." Olivia said when the song came on. "What? Did we forget something?" Elliot asked. "Huh-uh. The song." "What about this song?" "Elliot,…This was the song that was playing the night you asked me to marry you." "Oh yea it is! How could I forget?" Elliot smiled and took Olivia's hand in his, and Liv sang the song quietly. " 'Thank you for loving me, for being my eyes, when I couldn't see, for parting my lips when I couldn't breathe, thank you for loving me.' " She sang. Elliot listened to her. "Wow." He said. "What?" Olivia asked. "You have such a beautiful voice." "Awe. Thank you sweetheart." Olivia smiled. "I'm hungry mommy!" Casey called from the back seat. "Alright, we'll stop in a minute." They stopped at Philip's Burgers on 9th and West to eat, and then got back on the road. Finally about 5 and a half hours later, they pulled into the driveway at Nana's in Iron Station, North Carolina, and got Casey and her stuff in the house. "Well, we're gonna go, Liv and I have to be somewhere at 5." Elliot said to his mom. Olivia looked at Elliot with that 'what-are-you-talking-about' look. "Oh, ok honey bye-bye. Love you two." His mom said. She gave them both big, smoldering hugs. Next it was Casey's turn to say goodbye to her parents. "Momma please don't leave. Please don't leave me." Casey cried as Olivia bent down to give her a hug. "Awe, baby girl, it's ok. I'll only be gone for a few days." Olivia wiped the tears from Casey's face and squeezed her in a hug. "No, please mommy? Please don't leave me. I'm gonna miss you." Casey had tears streaming down he little cheeks. Olivia couldn't bear her daughter crying in front of her, so she quickly walked out before she started crying. "Daddy? Why are you and mommy leaving?" Casey asked Elliot. "Well Jitterbug, you're gonna stay here with Nana for a little while, so me and mommy can go do something together." He told her. "Oh. Well, why did mommy hurry out? Does she not want to stay here with me? Does she not love me?" Elliot was kind of shocked at this question. "No baby! Mommy loves you very much and she does want to stay here with you, but she has something she needs to do while you are here." "Ok. Will you tell mommy I said 'it's ok, she can leave'?" Elliot nodded. He gave Casey a hug and kiss, then left.

Chapter 13

When he got in the car, Olivia was sitting there staring at the front door with tears in her eyes. "Liv, it's ok. She'll be fine." Elliot rubbed her arm. Olivia looked at him. "I know," she whispered, "But I hate leaving her here. Do you know what she said to me?" Olivia paused. "She said 'mommy please don't leave, please don't leave me.' Do you know how horrible I felt when she said that to me?" Olivia could feel the tears racking up even more. "Liv, she asked me 'why did mommy hurry out? Does she not want to stay here with me? Does she not love me?' " "Oh my- are you serious?! Did she really say that?!" Olivia just let the tears fall from her face. "But then she said 'tell mommy I said it's ok, she can leave.' Olivia, she isn't mad or upset at you. She's fine. Come on, I'm not taking you there like this." "Taking me where?" Olivia wiped her eyes and looked back at Elliot. "Good. And it's a surprise, you'll find out when we get there." He smiled and they left. When they got back to New York City, they went to Alex's house. "Go in and get Alex." Elliot said. "Why?" "Just go. I'll tell you later." "Ok.?" A few minutes later, Olivia and Alex came outside into the car. "Alright ladies, let's go." "Elliot where are you taking us?" Asked Alex. "Good Lord! Be patient." Elliot just drove. Olivia looked back at Alex and shrugged. They finally got to the piers when Olivia and Alex saw the caution tape and party decorations. "What happened?!" Alex said. "It looks like a birthday party gone wrong." Olivia commented. They both laughed. "Get out. Come on." Elliot said as he got out of the car. The girls got out and everyone, at the same time, called out, "SURPRISE!" "What is this?" Olivia asked. "Me and the guys thought you and Alex should have a party." Fin said. "Awe. You guys rock!" Alex replied. "It's not much, but we just decided that it was the best thing for y'all because you two are the ones going through the most right now, and y'all need a break sometimes." Said Cragen. "OK! Now let's party!" Munch interrupted. And so they did, they partied all night long! A few months passed by and everything was going great. Life was good. One night Olivia and Casey were at home watching The Bee Movie, and the phone rang. "Hello?" Olivia answered. "Hey Liv, umm the guys and I are gonna go out for drinks tonight. I'll be home later. I love you, bye." 'Wai-Elliot?" Olivia tried to talk to him before he hung up, be he was in a hurry to get off of the phone. "Is he ok? And did he just hang up on me?" Olivia thought to herself.

Chapter 14

She sighed and went back to watching the movie. "Who was that?" Casey asked. "It was daddy. He said he's not gonna be home till late tonight. He isn't gonna be home in time to tuck you in." Olivia told her. "Awe, ok. But you will tuck me in won't you?" Casey looked up at her with her big, brown eyes, which were just like her mother's. "Why of course sweetheart! Why would I not tuck my Jitterbug into bed? I'd have to be crazy!" Olivia smiled at her. Casey smiled back. When the movie ended, Olivia took Casey upstairs and tucked her into bed. "Goodnight momma." Casey said sleepily. "Goodnight Jitterbug." Olivia kissed her on the head, turned the light out to where the night-light shone bright, and went into her bedroom. Olivia got dressed for bed and got into bed. If Elliot wasn't gonna be home till late, she wasn't gonna be awake to greet him. He could sleep on the couch for all Olivia cared, she was kind of mad at him. Finally after sitting there, hoping Elliot would come home right then, Olivia just went to sleep. A few hours later, Elliot opened the front door, and the alarm went crazy. "Shut-up you stupid alarm!" Elliot screamed. He finally got the alarm to stop and noticed something. "Why aren't any of the lights on?" Elliot asked himself. "Oh no I blew it, Liv's mad at me, crap!" Elliot scratched his forehead and decided it was best for him to sleep on the couch tonight. He sat down and turned on the TV. It blared with sound. It was not loud, but for nighttime it was. Elliot couldn't find the remote to turn it down and it woke Olivia up. "What are you doing?!" Olivia asked him when she got into the living room. "What does it look like I'm doing?" Elliot retorted. "Geez, sorry." Olivia started to turn around and go back to bed when she stopped. "Oh, by the way, you can just sleep down here." "Whatever Olivia I could really care less."

Chapter 15

Olivia sighed and went upstairs silently. "Liv?" Elliot said quietly a few seconds later, but she was already in bed. Elliot turned the TV off and tried to sleep.Elliot tried so hard to sleep, but he just couldn't. As much as he had ever slept on the couch, to this day he still didn't like it. It was terrible. But what Elliot didn't know, was that Olivia was having trouble sleeping too. She also didn't like sleeping by herself. She felt lonely. She got up to go ask Elliot if he would come to bed, but when she got down there she stopped at the steps and it looked like Elliot was already asleep. She sighed and went back upstairs. The next few months were just like the ones before Olivia and Casey were doing something together and the phone rang. "Hello." Olivia said, hoping it wasn't Elliot, even though they had caller-Id. "Hey, the guys asked me to go with them again. Sorry, love yo-" "Wait." Olivia cut him off. "I don't mind that sometimes you go out with the guys, but some days you need to come home. Ok? You've been gone night after night for three months straight Elliot. It's enough. Casey misses you." Elliot didn't answer for a minute. "Fine, but tonight I'm going out." Olivia sighed and hung up before he said 'I love you' again. She slammed the phone down and went back to Casey. "It was daddy…again. He won't be home till late again." Casey didn't reply. "Are you ok baby?" Casey nodded and got up from playing with blocks. She randomly went over to Olivia and wrapped her arms around her neck. Olivia took her and they moved from the floor to the couch. "It's ok sweetheart." She said to her now three year old. "I miss him mommy. He never comes home to tuck me in anymore. Why does he do that?" Olivia looked at her and replied. "I don't know why he does this to you, to me, to us. But I told him that he better stop, and that you miss him." "Do you not miss daddy?" Olivia sighed. "Sometimes." "Not all the time like me?" Olivia closed her eyes for a minute, and then opened them again. "No, not all the time." "Why?" "I just don't. I'm done missing daddy. I don't miss him anymore." Casey didn't respond. Olivia continued to rub her back and sit with her on the couch. It was 8:00 when Olivia put sleeping Casey to bed. Olivia was so fed up with Elliot being gone. He hadn't been home to tuck Casey into bed for three months. She finally decided to leave. She packed a bag for her and then one for Casey. She went into Casey's room and picked her up. "What's going on mommy?" "We're leaving. It's obvious daddy doesn't love us anymore. I keep telling him that if he doesn't come home that you and I are leaving." "NOOO!" "Casey, look at me. Are you happy with daddy not being here at night to tuck you in?" "No." "Do you want know if he really loves us?" "Uh-huh." "Ok then, if daddy loves us, then he will understand why we are going away." "Ok."

Chapter 16

Olivia finished packing bags and getting her and Casey's stuff and she scribbled a note, but threw it away. If Elliot wanted to know where they were, he would have to find out for himself. Olivia grabbed her keys and they went out to the car. When they were settled in the car, Olivia picked up her phone and called Alex. "Hello?" She answered. "Hey, Alex?" "Liv? What's wrong?" "Casey and I are done, we're leaving him. He's never home and I'm tired of it." "Oh my gosh, what does he say when you say you're tired of him being gone?" "He says whatever. He doesn't care anymore Alex." "Wow. That's low, even for him. What do you need?" "Oh, I was wondering if you would let us stay with you for a little while." "Sure, no problem. I have an extra bedroom. Are you coming now?" "Yea, thank you so much Alex." "You're welcome. I'm gonna go make sure the bedroom is ok. I'll see you in a few minutes. Bye." "Ok. Bye." "Where are we going?" "We are going to Aunt Alex's house." "I love Aunt Alex!" "Good, we're gonna stay there with her for a little while." "Cool!" Casey knew they were leaving daddy, but she didn't care. She loved Aunt Alex, even though Alex wasn't really her aunt. They got to Alex's house. Got their stuff, and went to the front door. Casey rang the doorbell. "Hey there Casey!" Alex exclaimed when she opened the door. "Aunt Alex!" Casey ran in and gave Alex a huge hug. Alex turned to Olivia. "Thank you Alex. This means a lot to me." Olivia said. "Don't worry about it. You're welcome." Alex took a few things from Olivia's hands and walked to the bedroom. "This is where you and Casey are gonna stay. It's not much but I thought it might work." Alex smiled at her. "It's perfect, I love it. Anywhere but my house is great right now." Olivia smiled back. That night, they were playing Candy Land, when Olivia's phone rang. She looked at number. "It's Elliot. Should I answer it?" She looked at Alex. "No. He needs to understand that he hurt you and you aren't going to talk to him. If he calls my phone I will tell him that I don't know where you are and that he hurt y'all a lot. Maybe then he will get it." "Ok." Olivia let the phone ring, and when it stopped, she got a text. She looked at it. It was from Elliot and it said, "Where are you?!" She stared at it for a minute and then decided to turn her phone off.

Chapter 17

A few minutes later, Alex's phone rang. "Hello." "Alex! Do you know where Olivia is?! She left and I am worried sick about her, and she isn't answering my texts or my calls!" Alex looked at Olivia, who was staring at her, and then replied. "No, I don't know where she is but I do know that you hurt her very much and she is really angry at you right now. So I wouldn't call her because she isn't going to answer you. Or your texts." Elliot was shocked, he wasn't paying attention to her for a while or that he was hurting her and his little girl. Elliot sighed. "Ok. Thank you. Will you call or text me if you hear from her again?" "No. Goodbye Elliot." "Wai-….." Alex shut her phone off and set it on the table. They looked at each other for a while and then went back to playing Candy Land. The next few weeks were tough. Olivia had so much to deal with already and no Elliot. He wasn't really making her life any easier. He called her multiple times every day, hoping she would answer, and he texted her maybe twenty times each day also. She was starting to get really annoyed. Olivia, unless her and Casey went to do something together, were home all day at Alex's house. Alex, was still the ADA at SVU, so she was at work all day, which only gave access for Olivia to spy on Elliot and to know what he was doing. And Elliot was hounding Alex about if she knew where Olivia was or if she had heard from her. One day, Elliot decided to write Olivia a letter. When Alex was at court for a case, Elliot snuck into her office and put the letter in her purse. When Alex got home, she remembered that she needed to go get groceries. She didn't need her purse, only her wallet, so she left her purse on the kitchen counter. She had left her shopping list in her purse, so she called Liv. "Where is it?" "It's in my purse. Probably in the bottom." "K. Hold on I'm getting it." That's when Olivia saw the letter with her name on the front. "Hey Alex?" "Yea?" "Why do you have an envelope with my name on it?" "What? I don't." "Well, there was a letter in here, and it had my name on it." "Oh, well I guess you can have it. Did you find the list?" "Oh, yea. Eggs, milk, cereal, celery, strawberries, and sugar." "Ok, thanks. I'll be home in a little while." "Alright bye." "Bye." Olivia hung up and put her phone down. She opened the envelope with the words To: Olivia Benson on it. She took out the letter and read it.

Chapter 18

Dear Olivia,

If you are reading this that means that this letter somewhat interested you, and you somewhat care. I am writing this letter to you, because I have no other way to talk to you. I put it in Alex's purse because I thought that if she saw it then she might give it to you. Listen, I want you know that I never meant to hurt you in any way. You are my life, my wife, I married you for a reason. Because I love you. You are my world and I can't live without you. When I first laid eyes on you I knew something was going to happen between us, something big. And it did happen, we got married. Olivia I love you so much and right now I hate myself for not being there for you and Casey. I hate myself for hurting you. I know that you hate me too, but I want you to understand that I would…will do anything for you. I would die for you and Casey. I miss you so much and I really hope that you miss me too. I am sooo sorry for doing what I did to you. Please forgive me and come home. I am a wreck without you, just ask Cragen. If you don't love me anymore, I will understand, but please at least call me or text me. I miss your voice. Take care Olivia.

All My Love,

Elliot Stabler.

When Olivia finished reading the letter, she noticed that tears were streaming down her face. She did hate him, she was angry at him, but she did miss him, and most of all, she did love him. But she couldn't go home. She couldn't call him, or text him, he had to know how much he hurt her. Just then, Alex came through the door. "Oh my gosh, Liv are you ok? What's wrong?" Olivia handed Alex the letter and she read it. She sat down next to Olivia and held her in a hug. "He does care Alex. He said if I don't love him, he would understand." "I know, I know. Shhh." "But, I can't call him, I can't text him. I can't give in. He has to know how much he hurt me." "Yes, he does." "Should I give him another chance?" "Olivia, that is up to you." "No, I can't. I'm fine." Olivia got up and went to the bathroom to clean the makeup off of her face. She went into her room and changed. She decided that she was going to go out tonight. "Hey, I think I need some time to myself, I'll be back in a little while." "Ok, just don't hurt yourself." "Ha, don't worry. I'll be fine." Olivia was almost hysterical. She walked out the door.

Chapter 19

Olivia decided to go see a movie. She went to go see Courageous. She had mixed emotions the whole movie. One part happy, one part hilarious, and one part very sad. After the movie, she went to go get coffee. She went into Starbucks and got a cappuccino. After she finished her cappuccino, she walked around New York City for a little while. She looked at her watch and it read 12:13. She then decided to go home. When she got home, she noticed a car was sitting there. It wasn't Alex's car, who's was it? She saw someone sitting in the driver's seat and pulled around them. She looked over, and to her surprise, it was Elliot. She pulled out her phone and dialed Alex's number. "Alex. Do not go outside. I'm in my car and I can't really come inside right now. I'm gonna find somewhere to stay tonight." "What's wrong Olivia? Why can't I go outside?" Alex sounded almost more worried than Olivia. "It's Elliot. He is sitting outside of your house. Do not let him in. He's probably looking for me." "Ok. I won't I can see him now. I will call you when he leaves." "Alright. Did he see me?" "He's leaving. I think he made you." "Crap! Ok. Thanks, I'll call you later." Olivia drove around a little, trying to shake Elliot from her tail. She finally had a chance at a traffic light. She drove past the light and Elliot got stuck. "Phew! That was a close one." Olivia said out loud. She turned and went back to Alex's house and turned the car off. She got out of the car and hurried inside. "Hey, did you shake him?" "Yeah, he got stuck at a red light." Olivia looked outside to see if he had come back. He wasn't there. Good, she did lose him. But what she didn't know was that he did come back, about an hour later. He waited there all night, and into the morning. He even slept in his car for Olivia. When he woke up the next morning, he looked at his phone, hoping that maybe Olivia had tried to call or text him, knowing she hadn't. He looked at the clock. 7:42. He looked outside to see if Olivia's car was still there, and it was. He heard a noise and looked and saw that Alex was coming out to go to work.

Chapter 20

He got out of his car and silently walked up to her. "Alex." Alex almost jumped out of her skin. "Good Lord Elliot! You scared me to death! Why are you here?" she retorted. "You told me that Olivia was not staying here with you. Is she?" "You know what, yea Elliot. Yes, Olivia is staying with me but, no, no you cannot go see her. Leave, her, alone. She doesn't want to see or talk to you. Just go away." "I will, I just need to know that she's ok. You don't know how much I miss her." Alex looked into his eyes, he was not lying. "She-she's fine. She's doing ok. She's healthy. So is Casey if you were wondering." "Good, good. Umm…did she get my letter?" He wondered if Alex knew about the letter. Alex sighed. "Yes, she did get your letter. It made her cry." "Oh, well I hope she knows it wasn't meant to make her cry. It was supposed to let her know that I never meant for any of this to happen." "She does know that. But she still doesn't want to text or talk to you." "I know. Well, thanks. I'll leave you alone now. See ya at work." And with that, he got in his car and drove away. Alex stood there and watched him drive off. She wondered if Olivia would ever talk to him again. "I mean she should at least send him a text." Alex thought to herself. Alex looked at her watch and hurried to her car. When Olivia woke up, she didn't feel good. Her sides hurt, she had a fever, it ached to move, she had a headache, and she felt a little nausea. She tried to get up, but she got up too fast and that didn't help her. She finally managed to get up and get to the bathroom before she threw up. "Oh my Lord!" Olivia groaned as she continued to throw up. When she finished she brushed her teeth. She could tell that this stupid Thursday wasn't gonna be a good one. She felt like crap. She grabbed her blanket and laid down on the couch. Casey came up to her and stood there. "What's wrong? Are you ok?" Olivia looked up. "I'm fine, I just think I have the flu is all. It's fine." "Oh, ok. Well do you need anything?" This little three year old was so mature for her age. Olivia smiled at her. "Would you get momma some water please?" "Sure! I'll be right back. Don't move."

Chapter 21

Casey hurried into the kitchen and reached for a cup, but she was too little. "Uh, momma? Will you get me a cup?" Olivia chuckled. "Yes I will." She went into the kitchen and got down a cup. "Thank you. Ok, now go lay back down. And I will get your water." Olivia turned around to go sit down when…"Umm…momma? Will you get me some water?" Casey giggled. "Haha yes I will." And she put some water in the cup. "Thank you. Ok now, go sit down and I will bring your water." Olivia laughed and sat back down. Casey carefully brought the water into the living room where Olivia was laying. "Here you go." Casey said as she gave her mom the water. Olivia laughed again. "Why thank you dear." Olivia said and she took the water. She sipped a little bit of it and set it on the coffee table. Casey was standing there waiting for a review of the water. "Why it tastes wonderful! Great job Casey, I am so proud of you. You get five stars!" Olivia smiled and Casey danced in victory. They both laughed a lot and then they settled down. "Umm…so you're sick, but can I still sit here with you?" Olivia smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, you can…if you want to get sick with me." "Eew. Umm I'm good." Casey jumped onto the couch and snuggled into Olivia. Casey and Olivia both fell asleep on the couch in a matter of ten minutes. They both slept there peacefully until there was a knock on the door. Olivia carefully got up and gently set Casey back on the couch. Olivia walked over to the door of the apartment and looked to see who it was. It was Elliot…again. She finally gave in and talked. "What do you want?" "Olivia? Is that you?" "…Yea it's me." "Olivia! I miss you so much please come home I am so sorry and I never meant for any of this to happen. Please come home Liv." Olivia was not about to go anywhere with him. "No. I'm not coming home to you. You hurt me, and I'm done. And why do you want me and Casey to come home when you are never there?" Olivia said abruptly. "Look, Olivia, I know I hurt you and I know I am a complete jerk, but I want to change…for you. I know I haven't been home at nights to tuck Casey into bed, but I want to change that. I really do Olivia." Olivia looked over to Casey, who was sleeping peacefully, and then turned back to the door. "Really? You expect me to believe that? I told you to come home some days, and you refused to listen to me. What would that say to you? I can't not have you at home Elliot, I can't. I mean you need to be home not going out for drinks with the guys."

Chapter 22

Elliot stood there astonished at what she was saying. She had a point, he hadn't been home, she did tell him to come home, and he did refuse to listen to her. "You're right. You did tell me to come home, and I did refuse to listen to you, but I'm sorry. I do want to change, but I need your help with that. Will you please open the door?" Elliot pleaded to Olivia but she stood firm. "Why? So you can just come in and grab me and force me to come home with you? I'm not coming home Elliot, I'm not. I won't do it." "I won't I promise I just miss you and I really want to see you. I won't come in unless you tell me I can. Please." Olivia hesitated to answer, so she didn't. She cracked open the door and she saw Elliot standing there with a bouquet of red roses. Elliot saw that she had opened the door, and held out the flowers to her. "What are these for?" Olivia asked as she took the flowers. "You. I bought them before I came here." "Thank you." Olivia walked over to the kitchen counter and set them on the counter. She kept her eyes on the door. Elliot watched her. She came back over to the door. "You look amazing." She knew he was lying then. "You're full of it. I look like crap, I don't even have makeup on." Elliot looked at her. "No, you don't, but to me, you're always beautiful. Even when you think you look like crap…you look like an angel to me." Elliot smiled at her, and she stared at him like he was stupid. "Will you give me a hug?" "Why?" "Because I miss holding you. I want to hold you in my arms again. Can I?" Olivia hesitated. "Umm, I don't know Elliot. Maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea." Elliot hooked gaze with her. For a moment, they stood there and looked into each other's eyes. Finally, Elliot couldn't stand looking at her full, brown eyes, so he broke away from her stare. "Oh ok…..ok, whatever. It's up to you. Umm so how's life going?" Once again, she looked at him in that 'you're-an-idiot' look. "Mmm…stupid question. K, so I guess I'm gonna just…can I come in?" "I don't know, it's not my house. It's Alex's and she told me that she told you to leave me alone. I'm sorry, but I can't let you in, it would just be good for everyone for you not to come back here please. Goodbye Elliot. I'm sorry." Elliot could barely hear her say 'I'm sorry', but he knew what she said. "Oh, bye Liv. I love you." And with that, he left.

Chapter 23

It had been a month since anyone at SVU had heard of Olivia. Every time someone would ask Elliot about her, he would pretend he didn't hear them and then walk away. One day, someone called the precinct that wasn't in trouble. They were calling for someone else and the weird thing was that they called, not for one of the detectives, but for Alex. "Alex line 1...It sounds like Casey." "Got it." Alex picked up the phone and answered. "Hello? Alex speaking." "Alex?!" "Casey?!" "Yes, help me!" "What's wrong sweetheart are you ok?" Alex couldn't hide her concern in her voice. "I'm ok, it's mommy! She passed out on the floor and she won't wake up! There's a lot of blood!" "Oh my gosh. Ok listen I will be there in 15 minutes and I will try to find out what's wrong, ok?" Casey sniffled. "Ok. Please hurry Alex." "I will honey, I will." Alex hung up the phone and scrambled around her office to get her stuff together and ran out into the hallway toward the elevators. Elliot saw her out of the corner of his eye and jumped up. "Whoa there speedy, where ya going?" "Ummm….nowhere I just have to go. Emergency." "Who's in trouble?" "Does it matter?" "Elliot followed her to the elevators. "Is it Liv?" Alex stopped and turned around. "Don't follow me. I can't say who." "Like that didn't make it obvious. What's wrong with her? What happened?" "I'm not sure, Casey called here frantic. She said Liv passed out on the floor and she won't wake up. Casey also said there was a lot of blood." Elliot stood there, shocked. He couldn't believe it. He quietly prayed that she would be ok and then he responded. "Oh wow. Well, do you need someone to go with you?" Alex laughed and Elliot looked at her funny. "Oh, you were being serious. Umm I'm not sure that would be a good idea." "Why? If when Olivia wakes up and asks why I'm there, tell her you needed help and the other guys were out on a call. Come on, please?" Alex sighed and turned for a moment to see her elevator close without her. "Ok," she said as she looked at him before pressing the button again. "Fine, you can come with me, but you do not do anything without my say-so. Got it?" Elliot smiled a huge I'm-so-happy smile and nodded. "Got it, ok let's go." And with that, they left to go to Alex's house to "save the day."

Chapter 24

When they got to Alex's house they both hopped out and ran up to the door. "Where's the key?" Elliot asked. "Hold your horses, I'm getting it." Alex answered as she put the key in the lock, turned it, and opened the door. "Alex! Help! Mommy's in here!" Casey screamed as they walked inside into the foyer. "Alright I'm coming. When did she pass out?" Casey stood there for a minute, staring at Elliot in confusion. "Daddy? Why are you here?!" Elliot stepped forward and Casey retreated into the living room where Alex was, kneeling next to Olivia finding the source where the blood was coming from. Casey held tight to her mother's arm. "I'm here because Alex needed a hand helping your mother. Come here and give daddy a hug." That order, made hoping she would listen, only made Casey cling tighter to Olivia's arm. "No!" she screamed. "Elliot give me a hand here. We need to get her to the hospital. I think she had a minor fall and hit her head on the coffee table. Casey, you're gonna have to let go of her arm ok?" "Alright. Alex? Please make mommy better." "I will sweetheart, I promise. When they got to the emergency room, they only had to wait to see Olivia, after the doctors had taken her back, for a few minutes. Alex stood there talking to the doctors about what happened to her. Close to the end of their conversation, Alex turned and motioned for Casey who was sitting across the room in the chairs. Casey started to walk away, when Elliot called her. "Hey, uh, Casey." She turned around to see what he wanted. "Yeah?" "Umm, will you not tell mommy I'm here, please?" "Ok? I won't tell her." Elliot nodded and shooed her to go on to Alex. "What do you need Aunt Alex?" The doctor looked at Casey and then back at Alex. "You're her aunt?" Alex gave a little chuckle. "Haha, no I'm not her aunt. Her mother, uh Olivia, is my best friend and so Casey just calls me that." "Oh I was like 'what? You didn't tell me she was your sister'." "Haha no she isn't. Umm, can Casey and I go see her now? I'm sure this little, anxious one would like to see her mother." "Sure, go right ahead." The doctor led them to Olivia, and gave them some private time with her. "Hey, how ya feelin'?" "Well, considering this is the second time in eight months that I've been in the hospital, like crap."

Chapter 25

"Your laceration looks better now that they cleaned you up." "Yea, well, I got up to go put my cup in the kitchen and I don't know what happened." "Yea, that's what Casey told me. Listen, someone…came with me to help you…." Olivia's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, someone?" Alex bit her lip and looked away. "Alex Cabot, don't you dare tell me that…..oh my Lord. Alex! You didn't, did you, really?" Olivia's hands flew to her face and she put her head back to the wall. "Yes, yes I did. I'm sorry! He wouldn't leave me alone, I had to!" "Whatever, does he want to talk to me?" "Yea," Olivia rolled her eyes. "Come on Liv, just talk to him. That's the least you could do." "Ugh! I don't like you right now." Olivia raised her voice, then lowered it and sighed. "Fine, send him in. I'll talk to him." Alex nodded and walked out of the room. She went into where Elliot was sitting with his face in his hands rocking back-and-forth. "Psst. Elliot." Alex called, and he looked up. "Go on, but be careful with your choice of words, ok?" Elliot almost fell over, he jumped up so quick. "Really? She said I could go see her?" Alex shook her head at him. "Thank you God!" Elliot cried as he walked back. Elliot paused right before he entered the room. "What do I say to her? Elliot, just remember, don't mess up, one slip-of-words, and you could be really regretting you came." He reassured himself it would be ok and took a step-of-Faith. When he entered the room, Olivia was looking him dead in the face. She wasn't happy, he could tell, but she tried to look as normal as possible. "Uhhh…Hi." "Hey." "What's goin on?" "Well, as you can see, I'm sittin' in a hospital bed…so to answer your question, sitting." She offered a tiny smirk, and he returned it. "I didn't mean that. I meant umm….I don't know what I meant." He said as he looked anywhere but at her. He just couldn't bring himself to look at her, but he didn't know why. She noticed, and hesitated before asking. "Why can't you look at me?" "I don't know. I just haven't seen you in a while, and I just can't." "Is it me? Did I do something wrong?" "Umm…" She looked down and sighed depressingly. "I'm sorry, ok?" This made him finally look at her. "Why Liv? You have nothing to be sorry about." She gave a laugh-sigh sound. "Yes I do. I just…" She couldn't find the words to say.

Chapter 26

Elliot saw her shed a few tears, moved over to a chair next to her bed, and sat down. "Listen to me, Olivia. I know why you left me. It is none of your fault, it was completely me. Don't you ever think that any of this was your fault, you understand?" By the time that Elliot had finished saying that, he was sitting on the edge of the chair, and staring Olivia dead in the eye. She even had to look away a few times because he was staring into her. Olivia teared up again, and all that she could make out was a silent "Ok." For a moment, Elliot and Olivia just sat there in silence, just like it used to be when they would be alone at their house, but for now, those days were over. Elliot started to lean forward to kiss Olivia, and she started to lean forward to kiss Elliot, when they were stopped by the doctor's knock on the closed door. Olivia backed away and settled herself on the hospital bed. "Come in." She said and the doctor entered. "What is it doc.?" Elliot asked. The doctor turned from looking at his clipboard, to Elliot, and lastly to Olivia in a question look. He mouthed the words "Is he your husband?" to Olivia and she responded out loud "Uhhh….it's complicated, but yes he is." "Ok. I just came in to ask you if you'd like to stay here overnight, or if you wanted to go home." Elliot looked at Olivia and she replied. "If it's possible, I'd like to go home." The doctor, Dr. Cerelli, nodded. "Ok, ok. You're free to leave at any time." He gave her instructions about how to care for her wound until it healed, gave her the medicine she needed, and sent her on her way. Alex then came in and Elliot stood up. "You ready Liv?" She asked. Olivia nodded and asked Elliot if she could talk to her for a second. "Sure, I'll be out here." He shut the door behind him and Alex started talking. "Did he try anything on you?" Olivia looked at her in disgust. "Alex! He would never! No, we had a wonderful, sad-ish conversation. Ummm…..I think I need to go home tonight." "I'm sorry Liv, you're not going home. I can't let you do that." "First of all, it's my decision, and two, I want to go home. I miss him. He has respected my wishes and I talked to Fin and he told me that every time they ask El to go out with them, he says no. They ask him 'Why'. He says 'For Liv'. Also, he has stayed away from me and left me alone; I think I can trust him again. I'm going home, and you can't stop me."

Chapter 27

Alex shook her head. "You're making a mistake, but it's your choice. You know I hate this decision, but if this happens again, you can always feel welcome to come back ya hear?" Olivia nodded and gave one of those smile-straight-lips smiles she always does and walked out of the door. Elliot was so curious of what Olivia had to talk to Alex about, so he asked her. "You'll find out soon enough," Is the response that he received. She was right. It would come soon enough, that's why they couldn't get back to Alex's apartment quick enough for him, even though it was only 10 minutes away. When they got back, and were in the apartment, Olivia asked to be alone with Elliot and Casey for a minute. Alex said "yes" and left the room. "Ok, Elliot, here's the deal. Casey and I will come home, but…if you ever, I mean ever do this to me again, that will be the last time. Got it?" Elliot had no idea of what to say, this was the happiest day of his life, his wife was giving him another chance! "Ok, I promise I will never abandon you and Casey like that ever again. Thank you so much Liv, you have no idea what this means to me. I love you so much, the both of you!" He grabbed both of them in one of his huge bear hugs and then spoke again. "Oh, uh, by the way Liv, the house is a wreck. I'm sorry, if I would've know you were coming back then I would have cleaned." "Well, we'll take care of that later. I didn't even know I was coming home today, I realized when we were sitting in my hospital room, that I didn't need to be that harsh on you. I truly am sorry honey." Elliot rubbed her shoulder and reassured her that it was ok and she didn't need to be sorry. When they got home, Elliot wasn't lying; the house was a complete mess. "Wow Elliot, when you said it was a wreck, I didn't think you meant literally." Elliot laughed and then shrugged. "Haha yea it is…We'll tackle that later, let's head on upstairs." So they went upstairs and got settled. When Olivia finished unpacking, she sat down on their bed. She felt something under her. Olivia got up and moved the comforter out of her way to see what it was. It was a bra! And from what she remembered, she took all of hers with her when she left. She heard Elliot in the hallway, quickly stuffed the bra under the bed and sat as naturally as she could. "Hey Liv, what's up?" "Nothing much." "Ok, well do you want Chinese for supper?" "Uh, sure, that'd be just fine."

Chapter 28

Elliot smiled. "Great, I'll order some in a minute." Olivia nodded her head, and Elliot came and sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so glad you're back home with me." He said as he kissed her forehead. Olivia just sat there and nodded. "What's wrong? " Elliot asked her in a little, innocent voice. Olivia pushed out of his arms. "Olivia!? What is with you?" Elliot asked, very confused. She reached under the bed and grabbed the bra. "Whose is this?! Have you been sleeping with other woman while I've been at Alex's house Elliot?!" Elliot stood up, rubbed his head, and sighed. "EXPLAIN ELLIOT!" Olivia screamed at him. "I-I am...I got that for you, I thought you would like it, because I was in the store, I saw that, and I immediately thought of you." Olivia raised her eyebrows like she always does, and started talking again. "Are you serious? That's the excuse you're going with? I mean I could even come up with a better excuse than that." Elliot's eyes opened as wide as they could get. "It's not an excuse Olivia! Why don't you believe me?!" "Because you have lied to me before! Who's not to say you're lying to me now?!" "Olivia Jayne Benson Stabler! I am absolutely not lying to you! Please believe me! I love you and I promised to never lie to you again. Why would I risk losing you again? It was heck the first time. I was so miserable. I wish I could take back everything I have ever done to you but I can't. What's done is done, there's no taking it back. I would never do that and lose you again. I love you." Olivia just stood there and stared at him for a minute, then she lowered her voice. "Yea, well tell that to the bra." She went into the bathroom, locked the door, and started crying silently to herself. A few minutes later she heard a little knock on the door. "Go away." She said in a sobby voice. Then there was whispering, then another knock. "I said go away!" She tried to scream, but it came out sounding like she was ill. "It's me mommy!" A tiny voice cried out from the other side of the door. Olivia got up and went to the door. She hesitated, then unlocked the door and cracked it just a peek. "Just you?" "Mhmm." Casey said, standing there holding a bouquet of flowers. Olivia came out of the bathroom and sat back down on the bed. "What's wrong mommy?" Casey asked. Olivia sighed and then smiled at her. "Nothing jitterbug, mommy's fine." Olivia rubbed her back and then got up and held her hand out. Casey jumped off the bed and went downstairs with her mommy. They were all back together in the Benson-Stabler house, but not all good.

Chapter 29

A few months had passed and the environment in the house was now dull and silent. Olivia never talked to Elliot. Elliot tried to talk to her on several attempts, but still had no luck. He wished that Olivia would get over the bra that she had found, but, in her eyes, there was no hope in that happening in the near future. She was mad, Elliot was depressed, and Casey was stuck in the middle of it. One morning Olivia was in the kitchen making breakfast for her and Casey. "What do you want to eat baby?" Olivia asked her. "Can you make pancakes mommy?" "Sure sweetheart." Olivia started making pancakes. She heard Casey get off of the bar stool and run off somewhere. Then she heard someone enter the room again. She thought it was Casey, but when she turned around to see who it was, it was Elliot. She turned back around when she saw him. "Olivia I want you to talk to me...Any chance of that happening anytime soon?" She didn't answer. Elliot sighed, feeling defeated, but he wouldn't stop trying. He moved over to her and stood next to her as she cooked the pancakes. She huffed and then looked him in the eyes. He could feel the stone coldness coming from her stare. She had her 'Go-Away-Now' on, not changing her position one bit. "No." Elliot responded, timidly to her look. To be honest, he was a little bit intimidated by her. "What?!" Olivia raised one eyebrow. Elliot paused a minute. "I-I said no." Olivia smirked. "What is your problem Elliot? How many times are you going to make shots to talk to me, when you know that I don't want to speak with you on any terms ever again. No matter how many times you apologize to me, I'm not going to listen to you. So, I would love it, if you would stop. Just stop. Elliot I'm tired of it. I'm tired of you trying to talk to me. I'm tired of living in the same house as you...But mostly, I'm tired of this relationship. I want a divorce, Elliot."

Chapter 30

Elliot looked at Olivia with shock. His face drained of color and he was speechless. When he finally regained reality, he spoke. "But I love you." "Yea, well," Olivia looked back at the pancakes-that, were now, starting to burn-and sighed. Then she finished her sentence in sort of a whisper. "I don't love you." She said, wanting to cry so bad, but she maintained her composure. "What?..." He sighed. "Ok...If you get the divorce papers I'll sign them I guess...If that's what you wish..." And he walked away. Olivia stood there motionless for a moment. She then slammed down the spatula, turned off the stove, went upstairs to the bedroom, shut the door, and sat on the bed. She thought a minute about what she had just said to him, then, what he said. "He gave up? Just like that? I don't know what to do." She thought to herself. Then she began to cry. She cried for what seemed like hours until she fell asleep. She woke up to a blanket wrapped around her and a pillow under her head. "Huh?" She said to herself when she felt the blanket and pillow. "When did I cover up?" She was so confused. At that moment though, she didn't care. She went back to sleep. The next time she woke up, it was dark outside. "How long did I sleep?" She asked herself. She looked at the clock, which read "10:30" and she got up. She headed downstairs, just to find the lights out, no movement, silence, and something on the kitchen counter. She turned the light on and went over to see what was on the counter. It was spaghetti in a plastic container, with a note attached to it. She picked up the note and read it. "Liv, I didn't know when you would wake up, but I figured you might be hungry, so I saved some spaghetti for you. I still love you. –Elliot" Olivia smiled at the note, heated up the spaghetti, and ate it at the island in the kitchen. Elliot was in the living room when he heard Liv come into the kitchen and get the spaghetti. He got up from the couch and silently walked into the kitchen. He stood there for a moment and the he started talking. "Did you sleep well?" He asked. Olivia jumped a little and then replied. "Yea, thanks. This spaghetti's good. Thank you." "Can I sit?" "Sure, I guess."

Chapter 31

Elliot walked over to the stool next to Liv, and sat down. "So, what did you dream about?" "I had a nightmare." "Oh, I'm sorry. What was it about?" "That I told you that I wanted a divorce…And you said that you would sign the papers if I got them…" Elliot looked at her eating. "Olivia?" "What?" "You did say that to me…And I said that to you. It really happened." "I know." Olivia whispered. Elliot looked at her face and he saw tears fall from her eyes. He continued to look at her face, and take in her natural beauty. She had the feeling that someone was staring at her and she looked at him. "What?" He was caught in a maze when she talked to him, so he didn't hear her. "What Elliot?" He snapped out of it. "Oh, nothing." "Why were you looking at me like that?" "I was…Taking in your beauty…Before…." "Before what?" "Before we got a divorce. This is my last chance to fix the problems with me, with us. I don't want you to leave me. I don't know what I can do without you. It was almost heart-crushing when you left me for those few weeks and stayed at Alex's house. I thought I was going to die without you. But then, you came back…And I was so happ-" "Elliot please, stop." Olivia interrupted him, her eyes filled with sadness as she looked at him. He couldn't bear to see her like that. "I just want to be with you forever Olivia, I love you, I always have. Nothing could ever change that." "El, please…I can't do this. We have tried so hard to fix these constant problems. But it's not working ok? And who's to say…That I want these problems fixed? Maybe they can't be fixed Elliot. They come up, we 'fix' them, but in a few days…They're back. I need a break from this. But what I really need, is for you to understand that…Ok?" Elliot sighed. "Ok." "Goodnight." She said as she got up. She kissed him once on the cheek and went to bed. A few weeks passed and Elliot started this thought that Olivia had forgotten about the papers, until one day. Olivia had just come home from a long day at work. She walked, with Casey, into the house and put the keys on the table. She went into the living room to find it, spotless. She went into the kitchen to find it, spotless. The dining room, spotless. The bathroom, spotless. Casey's bedroom, spotless.

Chapter 32

She thought it was just a hallucination, until she went into her room, only to find it, spotless. "Ok, what's going on here?" Elliot, wearing shorts and a tank top, came into the room. "Oh, hey babe." He said as he went to kiss her on the cheek. She moved and replied. "What is this Elliot? Are you trying to suck up to me or something?" She stared into him loving eyes with stone, cold ones. "Is it working?" Olivia scoffed and started walking up the stairs. Elliot went after her. "Babe, I just don't want you to leave me…" She stopped, dead in her tracks, turned around and looked at him. "If you don't want me to leave, then why did you cheat on me?!" "Look, I messed up a couple of times while you were gone at Alex's ok?!" "A COUPLE OF TIMES?! E-" Olivia's eyes started to fill with tears as she caught herself and talked in a shaky, unstable voice. "Elliot, how many times did you "messed up" while I was at Alex's?" He looked down and didn't answer. Olivia hit is chest weakly, tears starting to fall quickly from her eyes. "Elliot tell me how many times you were with someone else!...Please!" "Olivia I'm sorry." "I don't to hear it! Either tell me and I leave tonight, or don't and I still leave tonight!" "Ok!...Ok...I slept with someone else...Twice...But she means nothing to me, I swear it Olivia. I love you, not her." Olivia was in complete and utter shock when he told her. "Liv? Are you ok?" Olivia looked him in the eye once again. "Am I ok? Am...I...Ok...Hmmm, well my husband just told me that he slept with a woman two times while I was gone...No, no I'm not ok Elliot." Liv managed to slip out of his grip and she ran into the bedroom. "Liv wait!" Elliot followed her and went into the bedroom. "Why Elliot?!" Liv replied as she began to pack her big suitcase. This time she was not coming back, no matter how much he begged and pleaded for her to. "Because I love you Olivia!" "Who is she!?" "What?!" "Who is she!?" "Who are you talking about?!" "The woman Elliot! The woman who you slept with twice while I wasn't here!" Elliot sighed. "Her name was Allison." "Hmm, Elliot and Allison...It has a nice ring to it. I hope you two are very happy together." "It was a mistake Liv. I was drunk." "What's new Elliot...?" "What the heck is that supposed to mean?!" "You know good and well what that means. You seem to be getting drunk a lot lately..." "How many times does 'I'm sorry' have to come out of my mouth for you to believe me?" Olivia laughed sarcastically. "Too many for you to say."

Chapter 33

Elliot grabbed her arm yet again and she tried to undo his grip once again. "Please let me proceed on my leaving you...And let go of my arm." "I can't Olivia and you know that..." "Well, either way, I'm leaving you...I thought I could trust you-" "And you can Liv, you can..." She ignored him and kept talking, she also started shaking her head. "I have...Been hurt way too much to be with you...No one else has hurt me like this ever...I didn't make you sleep with her Elliot...YOU did...I didn't tell you to agree to go out every night with the guys...YOU did that on your own...Elliot, I would be breaking my heart if I stayed...I can't do that Elliot, I'm sorry, I just can't...Unlike you, I care for my child, and my family...And my husband. You don't care about Casey, or me...Your wife...I used to love you, but I just don't anymore. I mean let's face reality here for about two minutes...You don't love me." Elliot, who was shocked at what had just come out of her mouth, still held onto her arm. "Olivia you know that that is not tr-" "Elliot, don't start the 'loving card' on me right now. I'm not falling for it again." "Again? And just how many times have I 'played the loving card on you'?" "More than needed." Olivia jerked out of his grip and finished packing. Elliot moved in front of her. "One more chance Liv, is all I ask." Olivia did that 'sarcastic laugh' again. "No Elliot. I have given you another chance already...Goodbye." She walked out of the room and went into Casey's room. "Mommy? What are you doing?" Casey asked as Olivia packed another big suitcase for Casey's things. "Honey, you and I are going somewhere for a very, very, very long time..." "Why?" "We just are Casey." "What about daddy?" "No. I don't want to talk about daddy right now." "Ok." Olivia took the two suitcases to her car and then came back inside to get Casey. She came in to find Elliot, holding Casey and looking at Liv. "Give me my daughter." Olivia reached for Casey, but Elliot moved. "Elliot that isn't funny. Give her to me." Elliot wouldn't listen to her. "Elliot! Give me my daughter!" Olivia grabbed Casey and walked out of the house. "Mommy, do we have to leave?" "Yes, we do." "I don't want to go momma...I don't wanna leave daddy alone. He told me he was very sad when we stayed with Aunt Alex...Please, can we stay?" "Baby, listen to mommy. Daddy doesn't love us anymore, ok? Daddy hurt mommy very bad...He doesn't want me anymore...So, we have to go now." Casey started crying. "Baby girl, don't cry..." She sighed. "How about I let you see daddy in a few weeks, huh? How does that sound?" "Ok mommy."

Chapter 34

Once Olivia strapped Casey in, she realized that she had left her phone in the kitchen. "Honey, I'll be right back." "Ok." Olivia went inside to get her phone. When she entered, she heard a sobbing noise. "Elliot?" The noise stopped and Olivia sighed. "Goodbye El." She grabbed her phone and left. She went to the car, turned the ignition, and put the car in reverse. While she was looking behind her to back up, she caught a glimpse of Casey. Casey was crying silently and looking at the front door of the house. Liv finished backing up and looked at the front door also. Elliot was standing there, watching them, with tears down his face. Olivia frowned, started to drive, and turned on the radio. The song "I'm On My Way" by Kellie Pickler had just started. Liv turned it up and sang along. "I've felt, the power of forgiveness...I know, that life can let you down...I'm not blind, no I don't need a witness, to tell me, there's angels on the ground..." She stopped singing and listened to the rest. "Momma?" Liv stopped at the red light and looked in the back seat at Casey. "Yes baby?" "Where are we going?" "Uh, I don't know. Maybe we'll stay at a motel tonight...Is that ok with you?" "No." "Why not honey?" Liv turned around and started driving again. "Because." "Because why Casey?" "I wanna go home." She started to cry again. "Ohh, sweetheart, I know you do, but I told you why we can't do that." "I know, but I miss daddy, momma." "I know baby, it'll be ok, I promise, ok?" "Ok momma." Olivia's heart broke inside. She hurt for her little girl. She didn't want to do this to her, but she wouldn't leave her with an unloving father who was never home. When they reached the middle of Jersey, Liv stopped at a little motel. She got a room, and went back to the car. "Casey? Come on sweetheart." Liv picked Casey up, took her into the room, placed her on the bed, and covered her with her big blankie. Then, she went back to the car and grabbed the bags. Liv shut the trunk and went into the room again. She shut the door, changed, and got into the bed. "Mommy?" "What is it Casey?" "Can I sleep with you? Please?" "Yes, you can."

Chapter 35

Casey hopped out of the other bed and climbed in the bed with Liv. Liv covered her up and wrapped her arms around her. "I love you mommy." "I love you too jitterbug." Liv kissed her forehead and stroked her long, brown hair. They were asleep in a few minutes. The next day Liv woke up at 5:00am. "Where am I at?" She sat up and looked around. Suddenly, everything came flooding back to memory. She looked at Casey, who was still sleeping. "It's too early." And she went back to sleep. The next time she woke up, it was 9:00am. She got up and went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. She was taking a shower when she heard something in the bathroom. "Hello?" "It's me momma." "Are you ok sweetheart?" Liv moved the curtain just enough to where she wasn't showing anything, just looking out. She saw Casey throwing up. "Casey, baby, how long have you been in here throwing up?" Casey looked at her. "This is my third time in here..." She threw up again. Liv turned off the shower and grabbed the towel that was hanging over the rail of the shower. She wrapped up and got out. "What did you eat honey?" "I don't know mommy." "Ok, let mommy get dressed, then we can figure it out ok?" "Aright." Liv went into the other room and got dressed. When she came back, Casey was throwing up again. Liv kneeled down and pulled Casey's hair out of her way. She tied it in a ponytail and placed her hand on Casey's back and rubbed it. "I'm sorry baby girl." "It's ok...I think I'm done." She got up and looked at Liv. "Eew...Can I brush my teeth?" "Sure you can." Liv helped Casey brush her teeth. "Thanks momma." "You're welcome my baby." Liv kissed her head and walked with her into the other room. Liv walked with her into the other room and packed Casey's bed clothes into her suitcase again and did the same with hers. Once she dried her hair, brushed her teeth, and put makeup on, it was 10:30. "Casey, baby?" "Yes momma?" "Are you ready to go?" "Where are we going?" "Uh, we're gonna go to nana's for a while." "Are you staying too, or is it just me again?" "Yea sweetie, I am staying." "Ok…Yes, I'm ready." "Alright babe, let's go." Liv finished packing the small things and put the bags in the car. Then, she went to the front desk, checked out, went back to the car, and turned the key. "Mommy?" "Yes Casey?" "Umm, can I sit in the front with you?" "Oh, baby, I don't think that would be a good idea….If something happened, you would get hurt really bad." Casey sighed. "Ok…" "I'm sorry sweetheart." "It's ok…"

Chapter 36

Liv drove to North Carolina to Momma Stabler's house, which was about 5 and a half hours. She was hesitant first, because it was Elliot's mom, but she then realized that he hardly ever, if not never, visits, so they would be safe…For a little while at least. When they arrived, the expected happened…Casey was asleep in her carseat, and Liv was exhausted from driving. She was still so tired from hardly sleeping the night before, and today's drive….Didn't help at all. "Ohhh! Hey baby!" Momma Stabler called out when she saw Liv pull up and turn the car off. Liv smiled. "Hey momma." She got out, walked over, and gave Momma a big hug. "I've missed seein' y'all 'round here…How's Elliot?" "Uhhh….." Liv had no idea of how to respond to that. Momma looked at her, while she looked at the ground, then spoke again. "Oh, baby girl…I know….I know what's goin on. Elliot called me last night. He was cryin his eyes out…He says he really misses y'all." Liv looked up into Momma Stabler's eyes, with tearfilled eyes of her own. Momma reached out for Liv, and held her for a moment. "It's ok honey, marriages aren't made to be great all the time…Just know that whatever happens between you two…I will always be ya momma." Momma kissed her on the head and let go. Liv wiped the tears from her face. "Thank you momma." Momma smiled and helped Liv take in the two suitcases. Liv came back out and gently picked up Casey, took her inside, set her on the couch, and sat in the chair watching her sleep, with her fists balled up supporting her chin. She sat there for a long time, just watching her baby sleep. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Momma. "Honey, come on." Momma motioned for Liv to follow her onto the porch, and she did so. "Baby, what's wrong?" Liv sighed and sat in one of the rocking chairs that were out there. "I feel like I'm the bad guy…For leaving….And ignoring his calls…..Most of all, I feel like the bad guy for taking my baby girl away from her father….But momma, I can't go back…I want to so bad, but I can't…."

Chapter 37

As Liv sat there, she began to cry. "Honey, life isn't perfect…But in situations like this…You have to listen to what your heart says…In things like this, baby, your head is screwed….But your heart…Your heart will always choose what's best for you….Because it's what brought you together in the first place." "But momma he hurt me….My head says 'forget him…Think about what he did to you.' But my heart is saying 'you love him…Don't leave.' I don't know what to do….I just….I need time." Momma sat there and took in Liv. She noticed how thin she was becoming….How constantly depressed and sad she was…And how she was just so tired all the time…Just then, they heard a cry from inside and Liv ran to see what was wrong…It was Casey. "Casey? What's the matter?" Casey hugged and held onto Liv. "Mommy, I had a nightmare." "Awe sweetheart. What was it about?" "That daddy came here and he took me away from you…Please don't let that happen mommy…" Casey had tears streaming down her tiny face. "Baby girl, as long as you are with me…Nothing like that will ever happen, ok?" "Ok…" "I love you my darling." Liv kissed her on her head. "I love you too mommy." Liv smiled and sat there with Casey until she went back to sleep. When Casey had fallen asleep, Liv decided to go back outside. She stood up, turned around, and paused when she heard Momma talking to someone. She was still, and listened into the commotion. "Honey, I can't do that to her, leave her alone right now. She hurts too much baby." "I want to see her mom!" They talked for only a moment longer, until she heard Momma say 'Wait here.' Olivia went to the door and looked at Momma as she came onto the porch. Momma looked up and stopped when she saw Liv standing there and her facial expression. "Hey baby." Liv looked past her and into the driveway, at her soon-to-be-ex husband. "Momma? why is he here?" "Hon-" Liv opened the door and walked out into the driveway as Elliot stood there and watched her. "Why are you here Elliot?!" She asked in an alarmed voice. "Liv.-" "Is it not enough for you to hurt me, but now you're stalking me too?!" "Liv, I'm-" "Elliot, I left for two reasons…One, because I was hurt badly…And two, to get away from you!" She paced back and forth, slowly, and glared at him. "Liv, baby-" "Do NOT call me baby! I am NOT your baby!" "Ok, I'm sorry. But listen to me!…"

Chapter 38

He moved to stop her from pacing, but she stopped short, stared at him, and he backed away. She started pacing again, and he started talking again. "Liv, I want to talk!…Do you think you could do that?!" She stopped once again. "No! That's just it, Elliot! I don't! I don't want to talk to you!…" She paused and lowered her voice. "I need time….I need space….I need a break…But mostly…Elliot…I need you to understand and respect that." Elliot processed what she had just said to him. "Well?" She said. He nodded and went to his car. "Hey!" She called after him. He turned and looked at her. "Tell me…Tell me you love me…" Elliot opened his car door and began to get in. Tears started to fall down Olivia's face. She turned and headed for the house. "Olivia!" He called. She stopped just before the steps of the porch. "I love you." With that, he got in his car, shut the door, turned the key, and drove away. "I love you too…" Olivia whispered. She went into the house, laid down with Casey on the wide couch, and fell asleep. She was awoken by a loud crack of thunder. She jumped, then laid there, still with Casey. Liv was laying on her back on the inside of the couch, and Casey was still laying on her side, back to Liv, on the outside. The only noise was the storm going on outside…It was nighttime…"Mommy?" "I'm right here baby." Liv and Casey both shifted and were now facing each other. "Mommy, I'm scared." "Honey, it's just a storm. It'll go away." Liv stroked Casey's hair. "No, I'm not scared of the storm." "Then what are you scared of?" Casey looked away. "Casey, honey, what's bothering you? What's on your mind?" "I'm scared that you and daddy won't be married anymore." Liv looked into her sad, little eyes. "Baby, listen to me. Me and daddy are still married ok? We just have a problem right now that is really hard to fix, so we're not home together right now…Ok?" "Will the problem go away?" Liv sighed. "One day…With time, healing, and a bunch of talking and forgiveness it will." "When?" "I don't know honey." "Ok….And mommy?" "Yea?" "Will you always love me?" "Awe baby girl, yes, I will always love you forever." "Will you always be my mommy?" "Yes sweetheart I will always be your mommy."

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Liv hugged her. "I love you mommy." "Awe, jitterbug, I love you too. You will always be my little girl, my baby." Casey and Liv both smiled and Casey kissed Liv on the cheek. Liv paid it back by kissing Casey on her forehead. "Momma, when's the next time we can see daddy? I miss him already." Casey asked as she drifted off to sleep. Liv whispered to her. "I'm not sure baby. I know you sure do miss him though….I do too." Liv fell asleep around the same time Casey did. The next morning, Liv woke up at around 3:30am. She tried to go back to sleep, but she couldn't. so, she decided to get up and go outside onto the porch. She was out there for about 4 hours. She saw the sun rise, some birds chirping, the rain fall for an hour, the sun peek out some more, and few people pass by. "Good morning doll." Momma came out there and sat in the other rocking chair. "Morning." "Did you sleep well? I heard you and Casey talking…right before y'all both went to sleep for the last time…The last thing you said…" Liv didn't answer for a moment. "No, I didn't sleep well….I have been sitting out here since 3:30. I woke up on and off all night because of my 'dreams'…It was horrible…" Liv put "air quotes" around "dreams", because all of them had something to do with Elliot in them. "I'm sorry baby…Maybe you'll get a nap squeezed in today." "Yea…Right…Not if I keep having these dreams." "It could be your heart telling you something." "It's not…It's everything that is on my mind…Which, to be honest, is way too much." Liv sighed and continued to look out into the open land. "It's so beautiful." "Yea, that's why I moved here from Philie…Philie was so crowded, and noisy, and unpeaceful. But down here, in North Carolina, it's so good, quiet, and soooo peaceful. Maybe when you retire, you can move down here." "That would be nice. I love it down here." "So, I was thinking about going into the city today." "Where?" "Charlotte. It's about half an hour away from here." "Ok, that would be fine. When would you like to leave?" "Let's say around 10:30?" "Alright. Well, it's 9 now, so let me go take a shower and get ready." Liv got up and went to the door. "Ok baby. I will take my shower after you." "K, Casey took a shower last night." "Arighty." Liv smiled, walked inside, and got into the shower. After her shower, she went into her bedroom, got dressed, came out, and woke Casey up. "Casey, pumpkin, it's time to wake up. Come on sweetie."

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Casey opened her eyes and yawned. She stretched and swung her legs over the side of the couch. "Good morning baby girl." Liv kissed her in her head. "Hi." Casey smiled, a little sarcastically. "Come, let's get you dressed." Liv took Casey into the room and picked out a cute little sundress for her to wear. "A dress?" Casey said when she saw what Liv picked out. "Yes, a dress." "Are you wearing one too?" "If you want me to, I will." "Yea, wear one too." "Ok." Liv laughed and winked. She went into the bathroom and did all the preps for getting ready: brushed her hair, dried it, fixed it all pretty, brushed her teeth, got dressed, and finally, put makeup on. When she walked back into the bedroom, Casey looked at her. "You look really pretty mommy." "Awe thank you baby. It's your turn now…Let me fix your hair pretty too." Liv did her hair in a ponytail with little curls. Then, she dressed her. "Ok, brush your teeth." "Ok." Casey brushed her teeth and came back into the room. "Awe, you look better than I do." Liv said to her. Casey giggled and gave Liv a hug. Liv hugged her back, then walked with her into the living room. They saw Momma standing at the door looking out the window. "Hey Momma, we're ready to go." Momma just stood there. "Momma?" Liv looked at the floor when she saw something drop…"Momma?" Liv went up to her and looked on the floor…It was blood. "Momma look at me." She turned her around, only to find blood streaming from her mouth. "Casey give me the phone! Hurry!" Liv moved just in time to catch Momma as she fell. "Here mommy." Casey handed Liv the phone, and she called 911. It took them about 5 minutes to get an ambulance to the house and another 3 to get her onto a gurney. They hauled her into the back of the ambulance and took her to Carolina Medical Center. Liv took Casey and followed the ambulance to CMC. On the way there all Liv could think about was Elliot. She thought she should call him, because she was his mother, but she didn't know how long she would be in the hospital, so she didn't think she should make him worry about Momma. She finally came up with a decision to call and inform him. She picked up her phone and dialed his number.

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It took a while, but he answered. "Hello?" "Hey Elliot." "Liv?" "Yea. Listen, I need to talk to you." "What about?" "Your mom." "What's wrong, is she ok?" "Ummm….Well me and Casey were going to go into town with Mom today and when we walked into the living room, she was standing at the door…" "Uhuh…" "And I asked her if she was ready to go, and she just stood there and stared out the door." "Ok…And?" "I'm getting there…Anyways, I asked her again and she didn't respond again. Then, I saw something drop onto the floor. Come to find out, it was blood. So, I rushed over to her and she was bleeding from her mouth and I caught her just as she fell unconscious. We're pulling into the hospital now. I wanted to call you and let you know about her." "Umm….Uh, does she need me down there? Do you think I should come?" "El, she'll be fine. I will keep you updated on her." Elliot paused, then sighed. "Alright, I trust you will keep her well…" "I will, I promise." "Thank you so much for calling me Liv." "You're welcome Elliot, I gotta go now. I will tell you how she is in about a few hours." "Ok, bye." "Bye." Liv hung up and turned the car off. She got out and her and Casey went into the hospital and sat in the waiting room, waiting for the doctor to let them in the room to see her. 3 hours had passed and still no word from the doctor. By the 4th hour, Casey was "knocked out" sleeping in Liv's arms. Liv was starting to drift off to sleep herself, when a doctor approached her. "Mrs. Stabler?" "Yes, that's me. What is it? Is my mother ok?" The doctor sighed. "Oh….Please don't tell…..Me….Oh my gosh…." Both of Liv's hand flew to her mouth and she immediately started crying. "I'm afraid so….I'm so sorry ma'am. You may enter the room if you would like." Liv, heartbroken, picked up Casey and followed the doctor. When they entered the room, it only broke Olivia's heart a little bit more. She set Casey in the chair and went next to the bed. "Momma?…." Liv placed her hand on Momma's and cried a little bit more. She felt Casey wrap their arms around her legs. "Mommy? Why are you crying?" Liv picked Casey up again and held her tight while she cried. "Oh, baby, Nana passed away…" "What does that mean?" "It means that she went to Heaven…" "Why mommy?" Casey, herself started to cry. "I don't know honey." Liv set her down one last time and grabbed her phone. She had to call Elliot. His mother had just passed away, and he had no idea. "Hello?" "Elliot?" Liv tried to hide the sound of crying in her voice, but she just couldn't do it. "Liv, honey what's wrong?!" "El…..She….Oh gosh…..Elliot they couldn't save her…"

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She didn't hear anything over the line for a while. "Elliot?" "Yea." "I'm so sorry…" Liv continued to cry. "Sweetheart, its not your fault." "I know, but you weren't here….It is my fault Elliot." "Liv, please don't blame yourself on this." "I'll try…" "Honey, I'm gonna come down there…I'll be there tomorrow." "Ok…" "Goodbye Liv." "Bye El." She hung up, sat in the chair, and cried herself to sleep. She awoke to someone standing next to Momma. She rubbed her eyes and stood up. "Elliot?" "Yea, it's me Liv." "Wh-when did you get here?" "I got here about an hour ago." She walked over to him. They looked at each other for a minute, then he opened his arms wide and she ran into them. "I can't do this Elliot. I miss you so much. I don't want to hate you anymore. I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" Elliot held her and was thankful to God that he didn't lose his wife again. "Olivia, it's ok. Don't be sorry. Just, the next time you have a problem, talk to me, trust me." "I will, I promise you that." They hugged for a while longer, then Elliot pulled back and kissed her, long and passionately. "I missed you." Elliot said. "I know…I am so sorry Elliot. I r-" He kissed her again. "Stop saying that. I know, and its ok. I'm not mad at you…I love you and I understood why you left. And I promise you that I will never hurt you ever again." "Ok. I love you too Elliot, and I promise to you…That I will never leave. I know how much it hurts to have someone leave you….It hurts so much…And I will never forgive myself for that Elliot, never…" She hugged him again. "Why did Momma have to go?" She asked him. He hugged her tight. "I don't know baby. She was one of the most healthiest people I knew." "I miss her…" "I do too Liv." They kissed again, and about that time, Casey woke up. "Daddy?" "I'm here jitterbug." "Daddy!" She ran and gave him a bear hug. "I missed you daddy!" He laughed and Liv smiled. "I missed you too jitterbug." "Mommy?" "Yes honey?" "Can we go back home with daddy?" "Casey, daddy and I are happy again. So yes, we are going to go home with daddy." "Really?" "Yes baby, really." "Yayy!"

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They were interrupted by a doctor. "Pardon, Mr. and Mrs.…Uhhh…?" Elliot chimed in. "Stabler. This is…Umm, was my mother…This is my wife, Olivia, and our daughter, Casey." "Ok, we came to talk to you about burying. When do you plan on going to a funeral home?" This time, Liv spoke. "Um, excuse me? She just passed on. We haven't even thought about that yet…!" "Liv, it's ok." Elliot reassured her. "I didn't mean to stir up and problem, Mrs. Stabler, I apologize." She stared at the doctor. "Baby, I'll handle this, ok?" "Ok El." Liv stood there as they talked. "Um, doctor, listen…My wife and I are going to go to the funeral home tomorrow morning…Ok?" "Yes sir….That's what I needed to know, thank you." Elliot nodded, half smiled, and the doctor went away. "Elliot, are we going to the funeral home tomorrow?" She asked in a 'checking' voice. He sighed and sat down. "I don't know…I don't want to…this is the hardest thing for me to do. She was the only person that was there for me from the moment that I was born…" She walked over to him, sat on his lap sideways, put her arms around him, and laid her head on his chest. "I know how it is to lose the one thing that brought you to this world in the first place…Do you remember when my mom died?" "Yea…?" "I know I didn't cry at work….but when I got home, for a long time, I would do nothing but cry alone….I would cry myself to sleep every night…I wondered so many times, why it was my mother who had to die…And why I was left in this world alone…But then, I would think of you, and I would be ok again…I would go to work, talk to you, be with you….And it would seem like I had nothing to worry about, I knew that you would always be there for me…I want you to feel that same way with me baby….If you need me, I want you to tell me…" She kissed him, then snuggled back next to him on the couch in the hospital room. "I love you Olivia." She smiled. "I love you too Elliot." He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. "I'm glad I have you to go through this with." He told her. "Oh, honey, I'm glad I have you to be with during this too." They went to sleep and the room was quiet, until the next morning that is. El woke up at around 3 in the morning…He looked around for a moment, then laid back down. Liv, still sleeping, moved closer to him. He kissed her head and watched her as she slept.

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"Elliot?" He looked at her. "Yea Liv?" "What did you do?" "What do you mean honey?" "While I was here…And you were alone…What did you do?" He sighed and she looked up at his blue eyes. "I stayed home, went to work, went home….I didn't do anything….Why? Do you think that I…?" "I don't know…" "Do you not trust me?" "No, I do, I do, I do….It's just a part of me really wants to know." "Well, tell that part of you that I said no…I did not…I would never." "Ok….I'm sorry I asked you that…" "It's ok Liv." She snuggled closer to him. "I can't sleep." She said. "Me either…" Liv took his hand and held it. He rubbed her soft, fragile hand. The next few months were so hard. The passing of Momma Stabler was not easy. Everyone was so upset. But on the bright side, Olivia and Casey moved back in with Elliot. The relationship between Elliot and Olivia had grown stronger than ever, because of Momma's death. Casey's birthday was coming up real soon. She was gonna be 6! Everyone just couldn't believe how big she was getting, nor how old she was. Olivia had found a job that she could be flexible with, and Elliot still worked as a detective for New York's finest, NYPD. SVU had been working on a case that was making everyone tense and frustrated. The victim wouldn't talk to any male, and since Liv didn't work there, she wouldn't talk at all. The suspect, which at the moment was a man they saw on a security camera that looked at her a lot, was the kind of suspect that Elliot constantly wanted to hit. One day, it was one of those days where Elliot was just so angry. He came home and opened the door. Olivia was in the living room with Casey, playing with Barbie dolls. "Hi darling." Liv said when she heard the door open. He slammed the door and went into the kitchen. "Hon?" She didn't get a response again. She went into the kitchen after him and looked at him. "Elliot." He just sat there, staring at the wall. Liv went over to him and put both of her hands on his two tense shoulders. "Baby what's wrong?" She asked him. "I'm on leave." She stood there and listened to him. "Why?" "Because of the stupid bas-….Because of the suspect on the Maria Rose case. Cragen got p-oed at me because I threatened to kill the guy. So now, I am on 'leave' for a week." "I'm sorry honey."

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Liv wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. He put his hands on her arms and sighed. "It'll be ok, I promise. Cragen will be calling for you in two days, ok?" "Yea." She kissed him and went to the fridge. "What do y'all want for supper?" "I don't care. Ask Casey." "Casey? Honey come here please." Casey ran into the room and looked at Liv. "Yes mommy?" "What do you want to eat." "Pizza!" "Sweetheart, we had that last night, pick something else." "Ummm, grilled cheese!" Casey smiled. "Hi daddy." She walked over to him and jumped in his lap. Liv prepared the grilled cheese. "Hey jitterbug." Elliot smiled. "Are you mad daddy?" She asked him. "No baby, why would I be mad?" "I don't know." "No honey, I'm fine." He smiled again and kissed her on the head. It took about 10 minutes for Liv to finish making supper. She brought the plates to the table, where Casey and Elliot were sitting and gave them each one. "Thank you mommy." "Yes, thanks babe." She smiled. "You're welcome you guys." She sat down and they ate. After supper, Liv took the plates and put them into the sink. She looked at the clock. It was 7:32. "Casey, it's time to take a bath. Come on." Casey went upstairs and took a bath. She finished, dried off, put clothes on, bushed her hair, then came back downstairs. "All done Momma." "Good job baby girl. Now…It's time for bed. Give mommy and daddy some sugar." Casey went into the living room. Elliot and Liv were sitting on the couch, Liv leaning on Elliot, and his arm around her shoulder. Liv leaned forward and gave Casey a hug and kiss. Elliot did the same. "Who do you want to tuck you in tonight?" Liv asked her. "You." "Ok." Liv walked upstairs with Casey and tucked her safely in her bed. "Goodnight mommy." "Goodnight baby." She kissed her once more, turned the nightlight on, the big light off, and went downstairs. She sat down snuggled next to Elliot again. He tapped her shoulder, she turned, and he kissed her. When the kiss was over, she smiled, and looked at him. "What was that for?" "I don't know, just felt like I havent kissed you in a while." Liv laughed. "But baby, you just kissed me when you got home." "Yea, but not like that." "You do have a point there…Do you want to show me that again?"

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She winked and he kissed her like that again. "That was good, but I'm afraid I didn't catch that…Show me again?" Elliot laughed and kissed her again, and again, and again. He thought about stopping, but he just couldn't. It was hard to control the urge to kiss her. "Take me upstairs." She managed to say between all the kissing. He picked her up, kept kissing her, took her to the bedroom, and laid her down on the bed. There, they made love to each other. Later, they snuggled up next to each other and went to sleep. "Moooommmmmyyyyyy!" Casey cried out in the middle of the night. Liv woke up, put her robe on, and went to Casey. "What is it baby?" "Mommy, I saw someone." "What?" "Someone was in my room." Liv sat on the edge of Casey's bed and looked at her. "Honey, who was it?" "It was a man…He started to pick me up…I got scared and I called you….Then he left." Casey started shaking and crying. She reached out for Liv and Liv held her. "Mommy, I'm sorry. I was scared. I shouldn't have let him go." Liv rocked her. "Shh, baby it is not your fault. You were scared it's ok…You didn't know what to do." "Ok." "Do you want to sleep with mommy and daddy tonight?" "Uhuh." "Ok baby, let's go." Liv picked up Casey and took her to her bedroom. She laid her down on the bed next to Elliot. Then she climbed in and secured Casey in her arms. Casey fell right asleep. "Liv." "Yea?" "What happened?" "Uh, Casey said that a man came into her room from the fire escape. She said that he tried to pick her up, she got scared, called for me, and he left." "Do you really think someone was in her room?" "Yes, Elliot, I do." "I'll go look." She moved and placed her hand on his chest as he began to get up. "No…Don't, just stay here with us…Please." Elliot paused, then laid back down and wrapped Olivia and Casey both in his arms.

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The next morning, Elliot woke up, got out of bed, tied on his robe, and checked to make sure Liv and Casey were still asleep. He then went into Casey's room and looked at the window…It was cracked…"What the heck?" He thought to himself. He opened the window and looked out of it. He saw no signs of a man anywhere, but that didn't mean that there wasn't one. "What are you doing?" Elliot jumped. He turned around to see Liv standing there. "I was coming in here to see if there were any signs of anyone in her room last night." "Ok…Did you find anything?" "The window, when I came in here…It was cracked. Did you mess with it last night when she called you in here?" Liv walked over to the window. "No I didn't…and she's six, but she doesn't mess with the window. Do you think there was someone in here?" "Now I do…She can't lift the window to open it…Someone else did this." "Well, you investigate while I take a shower. I have to be at work at 8...it's 6:53." "Ok babe." He kissed her and she went into the master bathroom. She took her shower and got ready in an hour. Once she finished getting ready, she brushed her teeth and put her jewelry on. She walked over to her bed and kissed Casey on the cheek. Then she found Elliot, hugged and kissed him. "Bye. I love you. And please don't give Casey junk food." Elliot laughed. "I'll try. I love you too." Liv smiled and left for work…~And that, my friends, is the end of this part of "Roller-Coaster Ride." I hope you all enjoyed! Mention me on twitter at EOforeverrr and tell me how you liked it.(: -©EOforeverrr©~