Disclaimer: I don't own it; otherwise there would be a lot more Arch/T'Pol scenes in the episodes!
Spoilers: Broken Bow I & II, Cold Front, Shadows of P'Jem
Rating: PG-13. Do I write anything else, lately?
Changes
By
LatteladyT'Pol sat staring into her meditation candle. Tonight the flames did not bring about the easy focus of mental energy that was necessary to cleanse her mind, and submerge her emotions. Instead they danced and teased, splitting her thoughts into two portions. One, the emotionless, dispassionate Vulcan she had always been. The other, a woman she hardly recognized.
What had caused this other woman to appear, and when had she begun to emerge? Her mind grasped the questions and began stripping away memories like layers of old paint. A beginning, she was looking for a beginning. When her thoughts bumped up against something strong and solid, she knew she had found it; the last moment she had belonged wholly to herself, a singular, logical Vulcan, sure of her place in the universe.
The picture in her mind was bright and clear. Enterprise had been two days out from Earth. She had been cold, with melted snow in her hair that had added to the chill. They were in a shuttlepod; Captain Archer had been wounded and had just passed out. Her stomach clenched as she remembered his red blood seeping from the hole in his leg, and how pale he had appeared. She had announced her plans to take over command while he was incapacitated. She could feel the thoughts as she remembered them. They were going back to Earth. Vulcan would prove its point; the Humans were not ready to travel beyond their solar system!
Then it had happened. Her next step, her next decision had been the beginning. She had listened to Commander Tucker's softly accented words as he told her, 'Cap'n Archer needs to finish what he starts.' Because of that, they had gone after the Suliban and Klaang, instead of back to Earth. But it had been such a small misstep? How could it have been the cause of all the changes?
Leaning over she blew out her candle and placed it carefully on the desk, before moving quietly to the bathroom. With the lights at 50% she examined the woman who looked back at her from the mirror over the sink. On the outside she looked almost the same as the T'Pol who had boarded Enterprise for an eight-day mission, almost two years ago. It was the inside that had changed.
That long ago decision to carry out Captain Archer's wishes and continue after the wounded Klingon, then the one to remain on Enterprise in a permanent capacity, were where she had begun to waiver. But that was not what she was looking for. She was looking for the exact moment when it had all become irrevocable. An indelible change that would lead to the person she had become.
Had it been when she refused to return home and bond with Koss? Or when she had awakened in sickbay after being wounded by a rebel's phase bullet. She had known she was expected to leave Enterprise and go back to Vulcan to answer for the trouble at P'Jem, weeks earlier. She had also known, what Captain Archer and Dr. Phlox had known, that she had been more than ready to leave sickbay. But they had all pretended that it was in the best interest of her health to remain, therefore keeping her on the Earth vessel.
"T'Pol," Jonathan Archer's voice broke into her thoughts as he climbed out of his bed and moved to the bathroom door. "Are you all right? You usually come straight to bed after meditating."
Her eyes met his, as he moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back snugly against his bare chest. She enjoyed the feel of his skin against hers as she rested the back of her head on his shoulder.
"I was looking for some answers." She whispered when his lips moved over the tip of her ear and down her neck to her shoulder.
"Anything I can help you with?" He propped his chin on her head and enjoyed the vision of the two of them that was reflected back in the mirror.
"I believe you already have." She turned her face to the side and kissed the bare skin that sent tingles through her body.
"And how is that?" His fingers moved aside the strap of the Earth style nightgown she had chosen to wear tonight.
"By being the man you are." For a moment their eyes met in the mirror, and she knew, she had all the answers she needed. It had not been a when, but a who, that had changed everything for her. Even back as far as her first few days on Enterprise, Jonathan Archer had been at the center of all her decisions. There had been no misstep along the way.
"I'm glad you approve." He could tell that she had been troubled, but he wouldn't push her, she'd tell him in her own good time, she always did. For now he'd settle for the passion that was clearly written on her face and the smile that didn't appear, anywhere but in her eyes. "Because, you know, I love you." He whispered as he nuzzled her neck, and his busy hands worked to remove her gown.
"Hmmm," she gasped as she felt strong frantic Vulcan desire heat her blood and send out a mental grasp that would soon engulf the two of them. But unlike the madness that accompanied a pure mating of her species, there was the soothing mental reply of the Human emotion love, which always astounded and amazed her. It bound her to him as a normal Pon Farr never could. "I love you, Jonathan." Her whisper spilled from her lips and moved through their minds as he carried her to bed.
To Be Continued