A/N: THIS IS A FANFICTION OF WHAT I THINK WAS GOING THROUGH MEG'S MIND IN LND. RATED HIGH T FOR POTENTIAL TRIGGERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE TRIGGERED.
Erik was a mystery. He was charming, elegant, and very strong. Meg couldn't ever side with Christine for choosing Raoul. Erik was so beautifully scarred it was breathtaking. But his heart was still hung on Meg's Best friend. She would always come in second place to the great "Christine Daae." Well, not Daae any longer…. Now she was the Vitcomtess de Chagney, and was far too high up in the social class to come back down to "associate with the common lower class scum." Meg did all she could to try and win Erik's affections. She sang, she danced, and lost her virginity for him… but he never noticed. Meg could hold her breath… she had just the slightest glimmer of hope when her mother/producer informed her about His new masterpiece…. So she bit her tongue… and stayed awake at night, wondering when He would show her the song she was to sing. All Meg wanted was to be Erik's number one girl.
When the bills came due, and the deals Erik made needed more of a "woman's touch" Meg was there. She faked smiles towards the buyers, towards her American friends, and her Mother. When one of the "negotiators" cracked a joke about her, she forced a laugh. When it was time for her Gala Premiere at Phantasma, she played the part of a happy hostess, as she pranced around the stage, scantily dressed. She had given everything for this man. She could do it. She only needed to repeat that mantra in her head until he noticed her… that couldn't take too long... right?
It had been three months, and Erik still hadn't come to see her dance yet. Christine had said 10 long years ago, that she could sense his presence… then why couldn't Meg? Simply because Erik didn't care enough to show up. "No." Meg whispered… that couldn't be the reason. He had simply been composing and must have lost track of the time, due to the beauty of the song. Yeah… that was why. That was the reason. Meg had a sliver of hope resting on herself to get Erik's attention. The other girls were convinced that Erik was watching and noticing Meg... but to herself she made fancies of him gasping in awe of her affection for him. He loved her back and he would get down on one knee, and say that he truly deeply loved her. That Christine was in the past for him and Meg was all he needed. But then, she would wake up, to her mother telling her to get up… that Mr. Thompson was there to "negotiate" costs of the bills. Maybe that was all Meg was for… to grease the wheels of Erik's high costing deals, and give her all in return for his nothing.
"Because I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
And I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
Cause she was only little insignificant Meg."
So she decided to do it. Take the plunge off that bridge, next to suicide hall. Maybe then Erik would feel something for her. All she needed was bait. Someone that He cared about so much that he would follow them anywhere. The, at last, Meg learned that Christine was coming to America! She had a son, a loving husband, and devoted fans! Why couldn't Meg have the same? Maybe she and Christine could catch up. They could go shopping, go out to eat, and talk about life! It would be nice to have her best friend back. And since Christine had once upon a time, loved Erik, and was the base of his affections… Meg could ask how to win him over! It was perfect! This was much more sensible than dying over a man. Times had changed, and they would continue to change. But Meg and Christine's friendship would never die.
Another man came by… He was greasy and obese, and he called for Meg. Meg was dismayed by the fact that he was so early… Christine would be here in 5 hours! And on top of that, Meg had to rehearse. No matter, she could turn on her charms. She could resist this man and tell him she wasn't feeling well. As soon as Meg informed Mr. Hammerstein she couldn't come that day, he slapped her across the face. Fortunately no one was there to see it. Meg didn't want anyone to know she couldn't handle a little slap. So she collected herself, put on some more powder, and behaved like a perfect Automaton. One that Erik had invented… oh, how Meg wished Erik would realize what he was doing to her… But she was the girl nobody noticed. Or everybody noticed, for the wrong reason… "I can hold the weight of worlds if that's what He needs. Just for the chance to be his everything.
She could do it. The mantra was back and stronger than ever! "I can do it... I can do it… I'll get through it."
Christine had come… but she didn't have the chance to hang out with Meg. She obviously had things more important than her to handle. Like the fact that ERIK GAVE MEG'S SLOT TO CHRISTINE! How could he have done this to his obvious admirer? Back to the jumping plan… but this time, Meg would die by gunshot… Maybe Christine would attend her funeral. It was the least hassle Meg could think of. "I can take so much. 'Till I've had enough…"
Now on the bridge, Meg released Gustave to his biological father, and mother. Her mother was standing in the background not saying anything. She seemed to realize what Meg was going to do. Her mother bowed her head in acceptance as her "little Meg" started to squeeze the trigger. Then, suddenly, Erik stepped closer… He told her to give him the gun, and the pain, and the hurt…. And the blame. He told her not to kill herself because of him. "That diamonds never sparkled bright if they weren't set just right… and that beauty sometimes goes unseen… "Meg was weeping by this point, and she slowly lowered the gun. But then he uttered six little words that shattered her heart. "We can't all be like Christine…" Meg sobbed harder, as she choked out the words "Always Christine…" as she raised the gun back up towards her temple, Erik grabbed the gun, and tried to stop her. But Meg had fought hard as they wrestled for the pistol. And somehow in between, Christine, her best friend, got shot… Meg ran off with her mother, to go and get help… but by the time she got back, Christine was already gone. Erik stepped aside for Meg, so she could hold her best friend one last time. Cause Christine had taken Meg's place in death. And Meg knew that she would never come back.
"Because I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
Because I'm only human"