"You're an idiot."
Kim Fischer's words came out as a frustrated sigh, breaking into Jane's thoughts of doom, gloom and a life without Lisbon.
"I… what?"
She moved to stand directly in front of Jane, speaking slowly and clearly.
"I said, 'you're an idiot'," she repeated.
"Oh. Okay. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Agent Fischer," Jane replied dryly, slouching back onto his couch and staring at the ceiling.
He huffed and rolled his eyes as Kim picked up his scarf, flung it onto his lap and sat down at the other end of the couch.
"Don't you have case closed pizza to eat?" Jane whined.
"Already had some," she replied with a smirk.
"Well, go have some more."
"Nope. I'm good. Gotta watch the figure in case you decide to put me in another tiny scrap of fabric for one of your scams."
Kim settled in next to him, tucking one leg under her as she relaxed into the soft couch, and prompting a disgruntled moan from the man next to her.
"What?"
"Do you have to?"
"Nope," Kim smirked at him again, "but I'm going to."
The pair settled into an uncomfortable silence. One minute, two minutes, five minutes…
"I would really prefer to be alone. With my couch. And a cup of tea," Jane snapped when the tension became too much.
"No you wouldn't," Kim said gently. "You'd rather be out eating pancakes with Lisbon."
"Meh…"
"Don't 'meh' me. You know I'm right."
Jane's response was a pained groan and a look somewhere between embarrassment and frustration.
"Look, we're friends, right?" Kim asked cautiously.
At Jane's non-committal shrug, she continued her line of questioning.
"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't tell you what an idiot you're being?"
"The strong, silent type of friend," Jane replied. "A 'Cho' kind of friend."
"Yeah, well Cho thinks you're an idiot too," Kim told him with a raised eyebrow. "He's just not up to dealing with moody, broody Jane right now."
The silence settled in again, more uncomfortable than the first stretch, as both Kim and Jane refused to give ground and be first to leave the couch.
"He's a good guy, you know," Kim said finally.
"Who? Cho?" Jane asked sarcastically, dreading the obvious answer.
Kim rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Don't pretend you don't know who I'm talking about. Pike. Pike's a good guy."
"Good for him," Jane muttered sarcastically.
"He likes her," she continued, "and from what I've heard, he went out of his way to make sure he wasn't going to be stepping on your toes."
Jane cast a quick glance in her direction at the unexpected comment before looking back to the ceiling.
"Seriously, Wiley told me," Kim continued. "Pike asked him if you and Lisbon were a couple. He said no."
"Okay."
"Okay?" Kim scoffed. "Is that all the great Patrick Jane has to say about this situation?"
Jane let out a frustrated breath. "What do you want from me?" he demanded. "It's been a long couple of days. I nearly got killed by art thieves. It's late. I'm sitting here, minding my own business, getting in some quality time with my couch…"
"Okay," Kim interrupted. "If you're not going to talk, I'll talk. You can just sit here and listen."
When Jane didn't respond, Kim launched into her lecture.
"Nobody here is blind," she told him. "We all see what's going on. You worship the ground Lisbon walks on, and for some reason she adores you, more than any sane woman should I might add, even though you spend half your time tormenting her."
Jane gave Kim a sideways glance, but didn't deny anything. So he liked to mess with Lisbon's head. Big deal. That was part of the fun of flirting with her.
"What you need to realise is that teasing the girl to get attention doesn't work once you're past 13," Kim continued.
"We don't think it's cute. All it says is that you're not ready to have a grownup relationship.
"Pike told her what he wanted tonight. There was no second guessing. He told her he was interested, he asked her out and she said yes. Simple as that."
Jane let out a deep breath. "Simple for him."
"It is simple," Kim insisted. "Decide what you want. You tell her you're interested, or you move on. Either way, as I said, Pike's a good guy."
Jane closed his eyes, hoping Kim would be gone when he opened them again.
A tug on his sleeve told him she was still there.
"Get up."
"Do I have to?" he whined.
"Yes, get up, you big baby. There's a diner down the street. I'm told they do a pretty good pot of tea."
"You're not going to make me one yourself?" Jane muttered. "If I remember rightly, you make a pretty good cuppa."
"Oh my God. Up. Now. We'll grab Cho on the way out. They do a good apple pie, too. We'll make it dessert."
"Meh…" Jane scoffed. "I'd rather have eggs."
If Lisbon was out eating breakfast food at this time of night, he could too.
"Fine," Kim said frustratedly, grabbing his arm and dragging him off the couch. "You can have eggs."
Kim pushed him towards the fishbowl where Cho was cleaning up pizza boxes, and marvelled at the patience of Teresa Lisbon.
"You know Jane, I'm hoping this works out for you, I really am. But if she chooses you over Pike, she's a saint."
"We both know she is," he murmured, watching from a distance as Kim rounded up Cho, who dragged a reluctant Wiley with him.
The three FBI agents chatted among themselves for a few moments while they disposed of the last of the pizza, cracking a joke that at one point even had Cho breaking into a small grin.
Jane smiled at that, happy to see his old friend so comfortable in such new and different surroundings.
"Hey, Jane, get a move on," Kim called out, dragging him from his thoughts "We don't have all night."
"So impatient. Calm down, woman," Jane launched into one of his rants knowing he needed to be the showman right now. He needed to show his friends that he was okay. That he could deal with Lisbon going on a date.
There would be time later, alone on his couch or in his airstream, to make some important decisions about the future.