Love Unrequited, Friends United
Merlin watched Arthur and Gwen making their rounds at the feast. With Uther sick, remaining more often than not in his chambers, Arthur was more obvious about his relationship with Guinevere. His arm rested casually around her shoulders as he absentmindedly twirled the dark, curly locks that hung there between his fingers.
It was these little actions that affected Merlin the most and made his insides twist with discontent. He had been mooning over Arthur for a long while. He had never considered Arthur a feasible possibility for himself, however, accepting that fact didn't make these tender and romantic moments any easier to watch.
Merlin wanted to turn away but it was as if he were mesmerised by the pair as he watched Arthur's hand run down Gwen's back and stop just above her bottom. It wasn't until Arthur was interrupted and his hand fell away that Merlin was able to turn his attention elsewhere.
Later that night he caught sight of Lancelot who appeared in low spirits. Merlin followed Lancelot's line of sight only to find that Lancelot was watching Arthur and Gwen who were indulging in a bit of a cuddle. The envy on Lancelot's face was apparent and Merlin knew that he himself probably had the same look earlier, except that Lancelot was pining after Gwen.
Lancelot caught Merlin's eye as he turned away from the lovebirds. They smirked at each other and Lancelot motioned Merlin over with a tilt of his head.
"Is the good knight having a good night?" Merlin asked grinning at his friend as he approached.
"Ah! I see what you did there. Clever," Lancelot said smiling companionably. "A good night? Well, the food is delicious, the wine is the best I've ever tasted, the entertainment has been most enjoyable but I'm not much pleased with the view." Lancelot inclined his head toward Arthur and Gwen to indicate the view he was referring to.
Merlin nodded.
"I had no idea you felt the same as me until I saw you watching her earlier this evening," Lancelot said.
"What are you talking about?"
"Come on, Merlin, your eyes were practically green as you watched them."
Oh! Merlin realised what Lancelot was getting at and he chuckled lightly. "I don't desire Gwen," he explained.
"Merlin." Lancelot lowered his voice to almost a whisper. "I have never told a soul of your other very important secret, I will not let on about this."
It was true; Lancelot had never disclosed the fact that Merlin had magic to anyone. Merlin knew there was no danger in revealing his feelings for Arthur to Lancelot. It was just that he'd never said it out loud before. Merlin hesitated.
"You can tell me. I'm your friend," Lancelot encouraged. Merlin stared into his trustworthy eyes.
"It's Arthur," Merlin blurted out.
"What do you mean?" Lancelot asked confused.
Merlin glanced quickly around the hall and kept his voice low. "It's Arthur I desire, not Gwen."
Realisation swept over Lancelot's features followed by a slight blush. "We need more wine," he declared.
xxxxx
The two men had escaped from the feast and were sitting on a low wall in the courtyard. The sounds of people enjoying themselves floated across the dark night, but it was a private place they had found to talk. Lancelot had managed to grab a jug of wine and he filled their goblets to the brim.
Lancelot held his goblet up ready to make a toast. "To unrequited love," he smiled fondly.
"And drowning our sorrows," Merlin added. The two friends knocked their goblets together and each took a long swallow of their wine.
"So, how long have you carried a torch for Prince Charming?"
"About as long as you've carried a torch for the lovely Gwen."
"Long time," Lancelot mused. After a short silence Lancelot asked, "Has anything ever happened between the two of you over the years?"
Merlin chuckled. "Chance would be a fine thing."
They sipped some more at their wine before Lancelot continued with a grin. "I didn't realise that you were attracted to men, Merlin."
Merlin shrugged. "I find both men and women attractive on the outside. It's often what's inside I have trouble with," he attempted to explain. "Does that make sense?"
"I think so," Lancelot nodded thoughtfully.
They talked, laughed and drank some more, getting to know each other better than ever, their inhibitions disappearing as the jug became emptier.
As they stood to leave Lancelot placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "Anytime you want to drown your sorrows over Arthur you know where my chambers are, my friend," he offered.
"Thanks." The two men made their way back into the main hall. It looked like the festivities were winding down for the night and Merlin wondered just how drunk Arthur had gotten and if he needed assistance getting to his room.
Suddenly, Merlin's shoulder was being gripped tightly, enough to cause pain. "Ow!" Merlin cried angrily spinning around only to face Arthur.
"Where the hell have you been all night?" Arthur questioned and yes he was drunk.
"I..." Merlin began but didn't answer.
"Well?" Arthur let go of Merlin's shoulder and swayed slightly. Merlin reached an arm out and grabbed Arthur's side, helping him keep balance.
Their faces were so close and Arthur studied him. "You're drunk!" Arthur exclaimed. Merlin didn't know how he could tell.
"So are you," Merlin answered defensively.
"You're my servant. I'm the Prince, I'm allowed to be drunk." Arthur's tone was arrogant.
"Give me a break. There are plenty of servants here tonight besides me who could fill your goblet. Obviously, you haven't gone without, you can't even stand up straight."
Arthur looked away briefly. When he looked back Merlin could see he was trying not to laugh. He placed an arm around Merlin's shoulders. "Can't walk properly either," Arthur slurred and now he did laugh. Merlin laughed too. "So, you'll just have to help me to my room."
Merlin nodded with a smile. Just then Gwen appeared on Arthur's other side. "Don't worry, Merlin. I'll take him," she offered and Arthur's arm fell from Merlin's shoulders as Gwen wrapped his other arm around her own shoulders and carted him off.
Merlin knew Gwen was only trying to help, trying to save him the hassle of dragging a drunken and obnoxious Arthur to his chambers, but he looked on jealously anyway.
"It's the knowing you can never have them that's toughest, isn't it?" Lancelot asked appearing next to Merlin and staring after Gwen.
"That and the loneliness," Merlin responded.
"Yes, the loneliness..." Lancelot echoed as Gwen and Arthur disappeared from view.
xxxxx
Drinking in Lancelot's chambers started to become a regular thing for Merlin over the next couple of weeks. The two men met up every third day or so. They didn't always talk about Gwen and Arthur, although it did come up a lot. They also had conversations about their lives before and after they had come to Camelot, their families, Merlin's magic and Lancelot's life as a Knight.
Tonight they were talking about Lancelot's training session and how he'd beaten Gwaine in practice.
"I hate to admit it, Merlin, but it was great to wipe that smug grin off of Gwaine's face. He can be ever so cocky," Lancelot said as he filled their goblets for the fourth time that night.
Merlin laughed.
"Don't you think he's cocky?"
"Mmm." Merlin swallowed his wine and nodded. "Very. But it's all part of his charm."
"Don't tell me...?" Lancelot probed Merlin.
"What?"
"You're not attracted to Gwaine, are you?"
"What's not to like?" Merlin chuckled.
Lancelot shook his head but laughed too. "Can I ask you... an odd question?"
"Go ahead," Merlin nodded.
"Are you attracted to me?" Lancelot bit his lip and stared at Merlin sheepishly.
Merlin looked down and laughed self consciously. Of course he was attracted to the stunning, brave and kind-hearted Knight that sat before him, but he couldn't tell him that. Lancelot was his closest confidant; he didn't want any awkwardness between them.
"I can't answer that," Merlin smiled.
"Why not?"
"Because if I say 'no' you'll be insulted and if I say 'yes' you'll think I'm hitting on you every time I smile in your direction." As he explained he ran his fingers through his hair uncomfortably.
"You know I wouldn't think that," Lancelot told him sincerely and added playfully, "Cockiness is not part of my charm."
Merlin laughed. He knew he couldn't get out of this.
"Well?" Lancelot pushed.
"You already know the answer," Merlin replied bashfully, unable to stop smiling.
Lancelot laughed softly. "I'm flattered." He smiled genuinely at Merlin, his eyes crinkling up at the corners.
It was another ten minutes of ordinary conversation before the butterflies in Merlin's stomach finally disappeared.
xxxxx
Two nights later Merlin was making up Arthur's room. Arthur hadn't returned from Gwen's yet. It was pouring with rain outside and Merlin made sure the fire was lit, the curtains were drawn shut and the bed was turned down.
When Arthur walked through the door he was soaking wet. He removed his jacket but underneath he was still drenched. His dark blue tunic, made darker by the rain, clung to his well-muscled body and Merlin did his best not to stare. Ever since he'd announced his feelings for Arthur out loud to Lancelot he'd found it increasingly harder to hide them from Arthur. It was like he'd admitted it to the world and now the world was watching him. Thankfully, Arthur was an oblivious knucklehead most of the time.
"I wish Guinevere had a room in the castle," he grumbled as he pulled his wet tunic over his head revealing his bare chest and walking further into the room. Fate was cruel.
"Look on the bright side, you won't have to take a bath tomorrow," he joked, glancing at Arthur's face, forcing his eyes not to wander down.
"There is that," Arthur agreed with a bit of a smile. He began undoing the laces on his trousers.
"Room is all ready, now if there's nothing else..." Merlin hurried for the door. He got it open just a little when Arthur's hand appeared and slammed it shut. Arthur left his hand up against the door, leaning against it, a sexy pose that had Merlin cursing in his head over and over.
"In a rush to be somewhere, Merlin?" How could Arthur not notice how much he was invading Merlin's personal space?
"Yes... um... no..." he stammered. Arthur smelled of the rain mixed with his own masculine scent, the smell was intoxicating.
"What is it, a hot date?" Arthur's tone was teasing as he unbelievably moved in even closer to Merlin.
"You're blushing! That's it, isn't it? You have a date?" Arthur's voice was triumphant as if he'd just discovered a great mystery. "Who is she?"
"Arthur, please. I have to go."
"I'm not letting you leave until you tell me who she is," Arthur beamed. He was enjoying this.
"It's Emma. She works in the laundry," Merlin lied. What else could he do? He needed an excuse for all the blushing. Emma was a friend of Merlin's but that was all. Arthur almost certainly didn't even know who she was.
"Well!" Arthur laughed throwing an arm around him. Merlin laughed too, surrendering for a minute to this extraordinary man. "Enjoy your date, Merlin."
Merlin thanked him as he opened the door. Arthur smiled after him, completely unaware of the effect he was having on him.
xxxxx
Merlin's legs were still weak as he wandered down the corridors, not fully aware of where he was headed until he found himself knocking on Lancelot's door.
As soon as Lancelot opened the door Merlin groaned.
Lancelot laughed. "You look as though you could do with a drink."
He nodded and walked into the room, falling onto the bed face forward moaning and groaning.
"Oh no, what's happened?" Lancelot questioned as he poured them some wine. Merlin sat up on the bed taking the wine and downing the entire contents without pausing.
"Tough night?" Lancelot enquired with a laugh.
They sat on the bed opposite each other, boots removed, as Merlin told him about a sexy, half-naked, soaking wet Arthur that had left him feeling totally aroused, all the while totally ignorant of Merlin's feelings. Lancelot added his own troubles, and spoke of a breathtaking Gwen floating through the halls over the last couple of days. Their conversation flowed effortlessly and they got talking about all sorts.
Merlin drank quickly tonight and he could feel the wine muddling his mind. It felt good to let go.
Lancelot was telling a story about a time he'd fallen from his horse when he was a boy but Merlin was distracted by his sexy body. Lancelot hadn't been aware that Merlin was going to visit his chambers tonight and his attire showed this. His white tunic had none of the laces tied up and his chest was exposed, displaying just the right amount of rugged, dark chest hair. Merlin was incredibly turned on. He blamed Arthur!
Lancelot was talking about his injuries. "I broke my arm," he pouted exaggeratingly. Merlin laughed and rubbed Lancelot's arm. "I sprained my leg," he continued.
"Poor baby," Merlin chuckled deeply, rubbing a hand over Lancelot's knee.
"My neck hurt for weeks," he went on, laughing too. Merlin reached a hand around behind Lancelot's neck and feeling a little crazy pulled him closer for a kiss.
Their lips touched and for a few seconds they kissed. It was when Merlin pushed his tongue into Lancelot's mouth that Lancelot pulled away.
"Merlin," he breathed.
Merlin realised then, that he must be more affected by the wine than he thought. He also realised that, right now, he didn't care.
"I'm lonely, drunk and horny as hell. Can you really blame me?" he asked his friend.
Lancelot looked back at Merlin curiously and... not entirely opposed.
Merlin decided to take advantage of the moment. "I bet you're an incredible kisser." He could hear the lust in his own voice.
Lancelot hesitated only slightly before moving forward to kiss him. Merlin let the Knight control the kiss. He could feel Lancelot's nervousness, but he could also feel his desire.
"I'm lonely... and drunk... and horny as hell too," Lancelot mumbled into his mouth between kisses.
"Oh yeah?" Merlin returned breathing back heavily and added, "God, you're sexy." Then Lancelot's tongue was circling the tip of his own tongue.
As Lancelot gained confidence, the kiss became deeper. Lancelot slowly slid his tongue around Merlin's mouth and massaged his tongue. Merlin had been right, he was an incredible kisser.
He felt Lancelot's hands grip his back and he used his own hands to caress his neck, allowing one hand to slip down and run over the exposed skin at Lancelot's chest. Merlin was dizzy with wine and arousal, however he didn't push Lancelot any further, and the two friends made out for a very long time as the rain beat against the window and for a few moments in time their loneliness was sated.
xxxxx
The next morning Merlin was hungover and cursing himself for being so bold, even if it was the best make out session he'd ever experienced. He had just made a point, recently, to make sure Lancelot knew Merlin wouldn't be hitting on him and last night he was hitting on him. To make matters worse he was running late for his duties with Arthur.
"Such an arse," Merlin told himself as he dressed. He realised his tunic was inside out and called out "arse" as he turned it back in the right way and threw it over his head.
His feet stumbled on his way down the stairs. "Arse, arse, arse!" he cried again. Fortunately, Gaius had left already.
Arthur was already dressed and ready by the time Merlin arrived with his breakfast, apologising over and over.
"Calm down, Merlin," he said. "Sit, eat with me. Tell me all about your date last night."
Merlin half-frowned, half-smiled. He sat opposite Arthur and began to grab at the food.
"So, tell me then?" Arthur asked enthusiastically.
"I had a great night," he answered honestly.
"And..." Arthur prompted.
Merlin laughed at the Prince. "And... it was the longest and most phenomenal kiss I've ever had," he smiled, slightly embarrassed to be having this discussion with Arthur.
Arthur nodded as he looked him over. "Good for you, Merlin," he smiled. "Good for you."
xxxxx
Merlin found Lancelot in the weapons room. He waited until the other Knights had left before approaching.
"I'm so embarrassed," Merlin mumbled.
Lancelot looked at Merlin with amusement. "Why?"
"For... making a drunken pass at you. I'm... embarrassed."
"I'm not," Lancelot responded raising his eyebrows playfully. With that he slung his weapons over his shoulder and left Merlin alone grinning and feeling dumbfounded.
xxxxx
The next day Merlin walked with Gwen down the corridors. As they rounded the corner they literally bumped into Lancelot. Lancelot grabbed onto Gwen's waist to steady her. His hands lingered there as he apologised, his eyes darting down ever so briefly to her décolletage, too much of a gentlemen to stare obviously.
"Please, don't worry. I'm fine," Gwen told Lancelot before excusing herself to her duties.
Lancelot rolled his eyes at Merlin and groaned low in his throat. "My room tonight for drowning sorrows and... making out?" he suggested.
Though Merlin felt gobsmacked, he had to chuckle. How strange to hear Sir Lancelot, noblest of them all using the term 'making out'. Even stranger still, he was using the term as part of an invitation to Merlin. "You're on."
That night Merlin was very careful with his wine intake. They sat in chairs and Lancelot spoke openly about the amount of cleavage Gwen had had on show that day and how he'd struggled to keep his eyes to her face.
"I felt the same with you the night before last," Merlin blurted out without thinking. "I'm sorry," he cried with an embarrassed laugh and threw a hand over his face. He got up then to fill his wine goblet, more for something to do than because he needed more wine.
As he poured the wine he felt Lancelot's hands on his shoulders. They ran down Merlin's back and found their way under his tunic, warm on his skin as they ran over his belly. Merlin felt an acute surge of desire. His hardness strained against his breeches as he put the goblet down and leaned his head back against Lancelot. Lancelot's soft lips kissed his neck and his hands travelled up the front of Merlin's body to his chest pulling a moan out of his mouth.
Merlin turned around and saw both curiosity and desire in Lancelot's eyes. They leaned in as a passionate tide overtook them and they kissed hungrier and more urgent than they had two nights before.
Merlin felt himself burning up as Lancelot caressed his body with brazen hands, his tunic remaining bunched up at the chest. He reached his own hands under Lancelot's tunic and allowed them to roam all over, breathing harder and wanting so much more. His hand ran down and rubbed over Lancelot's covered erection. Lancelot's breath caught in his throat, and all of a sudden he was pulling away.
"No," Lancelot panted. Merlin waited. "Not that, ok? Just kissing and touching... above the waist. Is that too unfair?"
Merlin shook his head, going along with Lancelot. Damn, it was hot in here!
Lancelot leaned back in and the pair continued, the kiss becoming so steamy Merlin thought he would come apart. The pressure built up in him starting from below his balls and travelling all through his shaft. His cock needed friction and he pushed his groin into Lancelot's, feeling him hesitate a little but nevertheless allowing it. Merlin was almost completely out of control. He knew if he kept going he was going to lose it and he broke off suddenly, making Lancelot groan.
Why was it so hot in here?
"I can't," he breathed tugging his tunic back down.
Lancelot looked confused. Merlin didn't know if he was confused with Merlin's actions or with his own.
"See you later," he mumbled as he headed for the door. He had to get relief.
"Merlin, are you angry with me?"
Merlin paused and found a gentle smile for his friend even in his frazzled state. "Not at all. I'm just really really hot, if you know what I mean," he tried to explain.
"Got it," Lancelot nodded.
It was the most uncomfortable walk of his life as he headed back to his bed. Thankfully, Gaius was asleep and Merlin was able to sneak past and give himself the relief he yearned for quietly, in his room.
As he lay on his bed afterwards, staring at the ceiling, he had feelings of excitement over what had just happened with Lancelot but also feelings of unease. He just hoped Lancelot was all right with everything.
xxxxx
The next morning Merlin was distracted with thoughts of Lancelot as he served his Prince and as usual that seemed to be when Arthur was in his most playful mood. He teased him and gave him what Merlin liked to call 'the flirty eyes'.
"What's wrong with you today, Merlin? Trouble with your sweetheart?" Arthur asked when Merlin didn't play back.
Merlin shrugged as he brushed a loose thread from Arthur's shoulder.
"Not getting any?" he teased and Merlin glared at him. "Or maybe the problem is you're getting loads and you've no energy left to banter with me."
Merlin laughed despite his bad mood. "You were closer the first time," he admitted.
"You've not been rolling around in the bed sheets then?" His tone was less teasing now and more friendly.
"Loads of kissing," Merlin explained. "Loads. But I don't think rolling around in bed is what he's after."
Arthur froze and Merlin immediately realised his slip. He groaned and covered his face. "I can't believe I just slipped that out," he mumbled into his hands. He'd been distracted all morning; he shouldn't have been having this discussion with anyone, especially with Arthur.
He looked at Arthur and felt the awkwardness. No! Why did he have to go and slip that out?
"Why did you tell me it was a girl? Why lie?"
Merlin tried to answer but he was literally speechless. The whole lie had started because he was trying to hide his feelings and desire for Arthur. But honestly, he probably would never have told Arthur that he fancied men, just in case Arthur thought that meant he fancied him. Just another way to protect himself from the pain of his unrequited love.
"Did you think I would judge you?" Arthur questioned.
"No," Merlin responded immediately.
"So, who is he then?" Arthur inquired.
Merlin didn't want to lie again. "Please don't ask me." It was Lancelot's secret too and Merlin wanted to respect his privacy. Arthur nodded slowly.
The worst part was seeing Arthur's beautiful eyes, playful and flirty only moments before, now hurt and wounded.
Merlin wanted to run to Lancelot but after what had happened between them last night he wasn't sure if he should. Merlin felt lonelier than ever.
xxxxx
Over the next three days Merlin tried to avoid his problems. He felt at odds with the two men he cared about most. There was an obvious tension between himself and Arthur. Merlin wondered if he was still hurt about the lie or if he was uncomfortable with Merlin's revelation. Thankfully, today was his day off so he didn't have to see him at all.
Merlin avoided Lancelot completely. He knew he couldn't hide forever but his feelings for the Knight were growing and he feared another case of unreturned affection.
On the third day Lancelot came to him. Gaius was out visiting his patients and Merlin was sweeping when he heard a knock on the door. "It's open," he called.
Lancelot opened the door and Merlin felt suddenly terrible for staying away.
"Are you avoiding me?" Lancelot asked, his voice shaky.
"No, I've just been really busy lately." Merlin knew his reply was lame.
"Busy sweeping the floor?" he asked cocking his eyebrow with just a hint of a smile on his lips.
Merlin felt like an idiot.
"I thought you weren't angry with me?" Confusion now ran over Lancelot's handsome features.
"I just thought, you know, because I went too far the other night, you might need some space."
"Merlin, you silly man," he grinned and Merlin was so relieved to see him grinning that he smiled widely and welled up at the same time.
"I've missed you," Lancelot said walking closer. "It's no fun being lonely alone."
"I agree completely," Merlin laughed.
Lancelot took a couple more steps closing the gap between them. He brushed the back of his hand over Merlin's cheek and then stepped even closer pressing his hard-on into Merlin. Merlin let out a surprised breath.
"I didn't mean to blow hot and cold with you, Merlin. I just needed some time to get my head around it, but I do want to be with you." Merlin's cock twitched and tingled as it grew almost fully erect. He held Lancelot's hips and revelled in the feeling of their cocks rubbing together.
"I'm still not quite sure what to do... with a man," Lancelot chuckled.
"I'll show you," Merlin responded gently but mischievously as he gestured with his head toward his room.
And on Merlin's own bed, they kissed, cuddled, licked, sucked and fucked and the world felt good.
xxxxx
The next day Merlin's good mood seemed to ease most of the tension between himself and Arthur. Merlin realised he'd probably been the cause of most of it, anyway. The two of them worked on one of Arthur's speeches together and it had them in fits of uncontrollable laughter.
Merlin thought he should take the opportunity in one of these lighter moments to clear anything up between them.
"Arthur, I wanted to say something to you..." he began as they stood by the desk facing one another. Arthur waited patiently as Merlin organised the words in his head. "I'm sorry I lied."
"It's all right, it was a personal matter. I shouldn't have pried," Arthur offered.
"I love that you were interested," Merlin said fiercely.
Arthur smiled that casual, lazy smile that always left Merlin weak in the knees when aimed at him. Today was no exception.
"I just wanted to say, I was wrong," Merlin declared.
"Wrong! Wow, you are in a good mood today. Get laid, did you?" Arthur winked.
Merlin smiled and tried not to act embarrassed.
"You did!" Arthur laughed and Merlin could see that now Arthur was embarrassed.
"Anyway," Merlin said trying to get back on track.
"Anyway," Arthur repeated teasingly. He suddenly grabbed at Merlin pulling him into a headlock and rubbing his head playfully. Merlin called out in pain but he loved it.
When he released him they laughed and Arthur was standing too close again in Merlin's personal space, with 'the flirty eyes'. Merlin felt swept away in the moment and before he could stop himself he moved forward and brushed his lips against Arthur's in a very brief and very light kiss. He allowed his lips to hover over Arthur's though, feeling Arthur's breath against his mouth and hoping for more.
"Don't," Arthur warned gently and instead of backing away he waited for Merlin to pull back, which he did.
Merlin's heart raced and heat engulfed him as humiliation hit. He took a step back. The silence was deafening and he refused to meet Arthur's eye. A whole minute passed quietly as Merlin's heartbeat continued to drum in his chest.
"I'd be lying if I said I'd never thought about it," Arthur said breaking the silence.
"About what?" Merlin questioned daring to meet his eye.
"You and me."
Merlin's eyes flew shut. His heart was now in his throat, his stomach had flipped, his legs were surely about to buckle and his body shook all over. He so wanted to hear words of want coming out of Arthur's mouth. "What kind of things have you thought about?" he asked unsteadily. His eyes remained shut and he rested a hand on the desk lest he fall down.
Merlin waited awhile and when there was too much silence he opened his eyes. Arthur was staring at him dangerously, his eyes dark with restrained desire.
"Kissing you," Arthur breathed. "Touching you all over."
Merlin's heartbeat thundered in his ears.
"Our bodies pressed up against each other," Arthur continued. His voice was deep and masculine and so different to how Merlin had ever heard it before. Was this the voice Gwen heard? Was this the Arthur she got to see?
Gwen!
Merlin had to put a stop to this, but Arthur's voice was tampering with his sanity.
"I've thought about... tasting you. Everywhere," Arthur added sensually as his gaze flicked down to Merlin's crotch and back up to meet his eyes. Merlin nodded, breathing heavier.
Stop!
"Wondered how you would sound... when I made you come."
"Stop!" Merlin whispered and he held Arthur's eye.
Arthur nodded his understanding and smiled. It was a close-lipped smile Merlin found difficult to interpret.
Merlin looked into his eyes, deep into that mystery. There was something very special between them and he knew that it would have to be enough. Their hearts were united, their bodies never would be.
As they shared their wordless moment Merlin could swear that the whole world stood still.
xxxxx
That night Merlin was in Lancelot's chambers, sat on his bed. The Knight's legs were lying across Merlin's lap and they were drinking wine yet again.
"So, Merlin," Lancelot wondered, taking a large sip before continuing. "With all of your magic, all of your powers, all of your sorcery... you can't, I don't know... conjure some magic to help us get over this unrequited love."
"No," Merlin responded then smiled flirtatiously and added, "However, I can suck your cock until you forget about Gwen, if only for a little while."
"Better than nothing," Lancelot replied with a sly smile.
They put their wine on the side table and shifted positions so that they were holding each other, looking into the other's eyes.
Merlin casually ran his fingers through Lancelot's hair. "Why are both men I care for in love with Gwen?"
"Why are both people I care for in love with Arthur?" Lancelot smiled back warmly, reversing the question.
Merlin laughed. "Makes you want to screw all night, doesn't it?" he asked.
"Oh yeah," Lancelot answered lustfully, kissing Merlin savagely and pressing a hand to his arousal.
Later that night, as Lancelot entered him slowly, filling him completely, Merlin knew that Lancelot was half-imagining Gwen beneath him. But it was ok because Merlin was half-imagining it was Arthur, lying over him, thrusting into him and making him moan with pleasure. At least they didn't have to suffer through their loneliness alone.
And if Merlin couldn't be with the man he loved, perhaps he could come to love the man he was with.
xxxxx
The End