This is post 7x20 of TVD
Awaking was… unlike any other time she had before. She'd died and came back so many times, this was like clockwork. Sit up. Eyes wide. Heavy breaths. Hand on chest. Asking yourself: am I alive?
I'm alive. Bonnie thinks, sitting on the sofa in the Salvatore living room. The only thing she could hear is the crackle in the fireplace. She dared not look up.
What could she had went through to be in this daze, to be caught between life and death, and not know what's real. Her eyes avert to a dark, distant face lit by the red flames of a fireplace.
"Bonnie, listen…" Damon began. She watched him, caution in his gait, as he walked over to her. His gesturing hands looked more like a way to keep her afar. Bonnie was tense.
"What's going on?" Bonnie asked. She didn't have a clue. Caroline, Enzo, Alaric, and Matt stood around her like strangers. Caroline reached for her, but Bonnie felt the instinct to pull away. Enzo did the same, attempting to caress her burning cheeks, but Bonnie's face moved without hesitation. They were beginning to think she was unhinged. Alaric cut his eyes to Damon in a moment signaling that maybe he could do something. While Damon was daring, he was also smart. And if what Rayna said was true, he didn't want to die. He did not want to die knowing that Bonnie would be like this.
Matt's face crumbled, as if about to cry, but it was more a culmination of the situation. It was tiring him out. He had become the one thing that would instill purpose into his life. He had blossomed into a spirit of servitude, a well of a watchman. A cop. Yet, still, his efforts to protect the ones he loved would still come at a cost.
A knock comes at the door and Matt moves to get it. One sharp-eyed, brown skinned man leaned up against the door. Matt's face coiled into confusion. His eyes traced the man's wiry, stretched arms that were hanging onto the top of the archway.
"Who are you?" Matt asks. He was more than mean about it, grilling the poor man with his blue eyes. The man appeared amused by this, openly displaying a smile that highlighted his bun-like cheekbones. Damon's head turns in curiosity. Him and Bonnie lock eyes in a moment of ripe disparity. Bonnie shook head her knowing exactly what he's thinking, which causes Damon to blink into ignorance. Not an ignorance that Enzo seems to have following him like a shadow, an ignorance characterized by bliss. But an ignorance so tumultuously gray, and so varied, that the thought of Bonnie being, well, Bonnie, crossed his mind.
"I said, who are you?" Matt asks again. The man looks past Matt, seeing only a minor problem compared to the rest behind him.
"Bonnie," The man said. Deep, resonating voice carried by a lightness flowed through to Bonnie. She marched past Damon, Caroline, Enzo, and Alaric. Her small body being moved by an energy within her. And the closer she got, the stronger she felt.
Bonnie lightly patted Matt on the shoulder, and he steps out of the way. Just as he steps away, just as Damon approaches Bonnie's left side, Bonnie and the man make eye contact.
"I'm your cousin, Bonnie," the man says. Then, Bonnie's feet shuffle a bit. She looks down, then back at Damon. Damon was staring the man down, then he looks back at her.
"Is he?" Damon asks.
"You know I don't freaking know—"
The man explains his name is Abel Bennett. And with him is his girlfriend, Lola.
Bonnie's face falls through joy to bliss to anger to frustration. It reflects fear. It reflects anxiety. And all through this, she feels comfort. A deep sigh leaves her mouth and she takes a step back.
Damon was feeling an aching of mixed emotions too. He knows how much Bonnie cares about family. Family is a person's crutch sometimes. Bonnie is his, and if Bonnie is his, and these people are really who they say they are, then they're apart of his life now.
Bonnie walks away from Damon as a reminder. As Bonnie invites the two of them in, Damon stares at her, watching her walk away into the kitchen. Watching her ignore whatever is happening to her, for the hope of something good before she… well, whatever it is that Rayna has done. And he also watches her, with strained, oceanic orbs, walk away as a reminder that this is what he did to her. He left her. He pushed her away. He ignored her feelings, snatched away her place in his life, and discarded her as if she was unworthy. The plethora of things Damon has done, maybe he will always pay for.
Caroline, Alaric, and Matt gallantly move past Damon, and Bonnie disappears from the hall and into the kitchen. Enzo, though, stands beside Damon. He folds his arms and his mouth parts, turning his head towards Damon.
"What do you think?" Enzo asks. Damon ponders his question, turning his lip up to think of what to say. He blinks and turns his head to Enzo.
"I think you shouldn't have given her those pills," Damon replies and smiles. Enzo's arms drop to his sides and he sucks in a breath as Damon walks away.
Bonnie sat on one side of the Salvatore table, while Abel and Lola sat on the other. They were explaining where they'd come from and what they were doing in Mystic Falls. Abel Bennett is apparently of one Bonnie's third cousins. He'd learned of her when he was in sixth grade. He laments remembering the day because of a huge tornado that ripped through the city, while he was in school. And it was also the same day he found out he was a witch.
Somehow, one class split up and the teacher lost them. Abel was a part of this class. He recalled being in the bathroom with another young boy. Who, for some odd reason, found it hilarious to beat Abel to a pulp. Abel said the boy told him it was something he had to do.
Bonnie was intrigued by the story. The rest watched and listened, unsure of what to think. Damon leaned in the doorway, slowly getting fed up with Abel's stories and Bonnie's unbelievable fascination with them.
"You're a real storyteller, aren't you?" Damon interrupts. Bonnie sighs.
"Damon—" Bonnie starts.
"No, Bonnie, shut up. Let me figure what this guy really wants from you."
"He's my family!"
"So he says!"
Enzo steps in between Bonnie and Damon. His attempts at escalating the situation were futile. Per usual, they always are. Enzo always find himself in the middle of the conflict between Bonnie and Damon. Mostly he puts himself there: intervening in their lives when he's bored, inserting unwanted opinions when it's not needed, and trying to be mediator to two individuals whose only mediation is to be around one another. That's one thing Enzo hasn't grasped. He can't stop the love between these two whether it manifests in rage or elatedness. There is no end to it. Enzo is like a blade trying to breach frozen, cold skin. And the skin, the tough, taut, protected skin is the love Damon and Bonnie have for each other. That's Enzo though— wanting something special for himself so bad he'll do anything and will believe anything to have it.
"Why do you think you can suddenly have a say in my life?" Bonnie unravels after Damon pulled her back into the Salvatore kitchen to have a little pow wow. "What? Because you saved it? After all of the times I've saved you, do you think I even cared a fraction about what you do after?"
"It's not like that!"
"Then, please! Enlighten me, Damon, because I'd like to know!"
"I'm sorry!" Damon closes his eyes in relief, a deep sigh leaving his mouth.
"You left me for three years. Three. And I was hurt for three years… why I was so stuck on you, I have not a clue. But I was."
Bonnie stops there, a warm sensation closes over her throat and she didn't want to talk anymore. Damon could see she was on the verge of crying, that what he did to her was more that he could see. He hurt her. He did something to her that can't be forgiven in a matter of seconds, in a few mumbled up words, jargon, a scatter brained speech, or a longing look. It would take more than saving her life to earn her back.
God, Damon just wanted her back.
He poured himself a drink, deciding to sit in front of the fireplace. Damon was usually one who'd always go where he was unwanted, but tonight, he chose to stay out of the kitchen. At least he knew someone was watching out for her, even if their means were steeped in stupidity.
"And you're from?" Enzo asks Lola. Bonnie introduced Abel and Lola to her friends, all except Damon. Enzo sat down next to her while Caroline and Matt stood behind them.
"Canton. It's a small area just outside of Mystic Falls," Lola replied. She removed a single bang from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "I met Abel a long while ago, and from an instant we bonded."
Lola explained, in a sweet, shy voice, that she and Abel were meant to be. That they were soulmates. Enzo grabbed Bonnie's hand, and while staring at her, said they were too. He kissed Bonnie lightly on the cheeks.
"The other guy, who's that?" Abel asks Bonnie.
"What other guy?"
"The one with the big, dark hair. The one that was glaring me. The one you were arguing—"
"Oh, you mean Damon."
"Damon Salvatore, right?"
If there was one thing Bonnie learned from first impressions of Abel, it's that he could talk. He could go on and on for days about one subject. And now the topic is of Damon Salvatore. Which lead into the final reveal that he was a witch, that he knew most of the people Bonnie associate's with is a witch, and that her death lead to them finding her.
"What do you mean, my death?" Bonnie asks. Despite being filled with contrition and an unhealthy amount of penance, Bonnie decided to focus on what was happening now. But, wasn't the irreversible fact that she awoke and felt something different happening now? Wasn't this perverse, erupting feeling quaking in her present now?
But Bonnie is Bonnie, so she'll ignore it. But not forever.
"Your death, Bonnie. I've been searching for you awhile, but I couldn't find you. Then, I could feel you dying. You felt remorse, guilt, pain." Abel continued to explain. Enzo listened on while Abel listed every emotion he could think of that hit him in that moment. Not an ounce of happiness even startled Bonnie.
Enzo interjects, "Wait a second, you can just… feel whatever she is feeling?"
"I'm her cousin. She's a witch. I'm a witch."
"How do we know you're not lying?"
"He's not." Bonnie settles it. The minute Abel's knuckles touched the Salvatore door Bonnie felt familiarity. A smile may have graced her face, if only for a second, but she knew that the feeling was something good. "I could feel him too."
So it was true. What about Enzo and Bonnie's last moments made her happy? Was she ever really happy with him? Enzo shifts in his seat as Abel shares more information with Bonnie. He leans into Bonnie and whispers in her ear. She nods and he walks away.
Caroline sits down in the seat next to Bonnie.
"I'm just curious though," Abel asks. "How on earth did you survive?"
That's just it though. Bonnie was still trying to unearth that question, and nobody knew what the answer was.
The tension in the Salvatore living room heightened when Enzo had entered. Damon could smell him all the way in the kitchen and felt his presence the minute he stepped foot inside.
"Want a drink?" Damon asks, holding up his glass while glaring at the fire. Enzo walked over, head down, and grabbed the drink. Damon pours himself another one. "I'll need a drinking buddy. Since the one I used to have doesn't want to be mine anymore. But I guess that's my fault, right?"
Enzo says nothing for awhile. He paces the room a bit and takes a sip of his drink.
"Hey," Damon turns in the chair to face Enzo, who suddenly stops. "Is Bonnie alright? You'd know being her bf and all?"
"Best friend or boyfriend?" Enzo replies, putting Damon in a pensive state. "Because it seems as though one each applies to one of us."
"I mean, Rayna told me she cursed Bonnie to be like her. Which means, you and I—" He takes his thumb across his neck, "—dead."
"You're joking, right?" Enzo asks.
"There's something wrong with Bonnie, Enzo." Enzo shakes his head and Damon stands up. "And if you can't see it, so be it. I do."
Enzo knew Damon had a point. He just didn't want to believe it. After finding out what Bonnie felt may not have been real is already too much handle. There's a lot of rage and bitterness aging inside of him, that was hiding when he fell in love with Bonnie, and now it's growing tired. It's growing restless. And it wants out. Now.
"Why not be the boyfriend you should have been from the start?" By now, Damon was in Enzo's face. A drunken mess, but he knew how to handle it. Enzo continued to keep his composure— containing the anger metastasizing in him. "Instead of sitting around waiting for her to implode, why not be the one thing she's always wanted? Someone to defend her?"
Enzo had to take a step back. If not, the blood boiling in his veins would have made him punch Damon. Was he trying to get Enzo upset? Partially, but Damon also wanted to fill him in on the truth.
"Because when you love someone, you do what it takes to save them, and accept it when everything you've done doesn't work out.
"There is a girl in there. An intelligent woman who's boldly in love with you and you sat around the entire time of her demise and did nothing."
"I did what she asked me to do!"
"If I did everything Bonnie asked me to do, do you think you'd have the love of your life?"
All Bonnie wanted was to be with Enzo during her last moments. Damon was disgusted by this, not only because it is enabling behavior, on Enzo's part, but there's small remnants of her relationship with Jeremy. Damon wanted Bonnie to be happy, and the Bonnie that was with Enzo didn't seem so. And Damon thought Enzo was madly in love with Bonnie, but always questioned whether it was the same for Bonnie.
"So, bullshit!" Damon yells. "Bullshit, Enzo."
There was silence in the room again. The tension swelling like the anger inside of Enzo. Damon walked away from Enzo, sitting back down and resting his chin on his hands.
"Hey," Bonnie walks into the room. Enzo turns around and walks over to her. She wraps her arms around him and snuggles her face into his neck. As her eyes open, Damon turns around and purses his lips at her. Enzo pulls away from her.
"We're going out for a bit," Bonnie said as Abel and Lola walk up behind her. Lola gives a wave.
"Where?" Enzo asks.
"Just out. They're witches and they want to teach some things."
Damon stands up and crosses the living room. "Wait, you still have your magic?"
"Yeah, want to find out?" Bonnie responds.
Damon shakes his head. "No, just wondering."
Bonnie turns around, walking towards the door with Abel and Lola. Then, she stops and runs back to Enzo. She plants her lips against his, her hips thrusted against his and hands moving softly against his mildly shaven cheeks.
Damon rolls his eyes in disgust.
After they leave, Enzo walks back to Damon.
"You still think there is something wrong with her?" Enzo asks.
"Look, the sight of you two stealing kisses and creating little nicknames for each other utterly disgusts me."
"Okay."
"That was just a disclaimer. Because what I'm about to say next may set you off."
"What? That you do believe something is wrong with Bonnie?"
"Ding, ding, ding! Seven brownie points for Enzo!"
To his dismay, Enzo agreed to help Damon. And that started with looking into the effects of Rayna's curse.
Bonnie, Abel, and Lola were walking back to their car when Caroline called for Bonnie. Bonnie runs over to her.
"I'm glad you're okay," Caroline said with a sigh. "So, so, so glad." Caroline pulls Bonnie into a hug. She tried to hold back tears, but it was another emotional moment for them. Caroline had lost Elena, they both had, and if she'd lost Bonnie too…
"I love you, Care." Bonnie said to her. Caroline said it back and Bonnie hugs her again. They lean from side to side.
"You are feeling, okay, right?" Caroline asks, holding onto Bonnie's forearms. Caroline saw something different too. The Bonnie that was there before she awoke is not the same Bonnie now. There just hasn't been a single defining thing to prove that. But Caroline was scared for her friend, and as happy as she is to see that she has some of her family back, Caroline is scared about that too.
"I'm fine, Caroline," Bonnie says and Caroline tilts her head. "Really! I'm okay!"
"Okay. Give me one last hug before we depart."
Bonnie waves to Caroline as she drives away with Alaric, walking back to Abel and Lola's car. She gets into the backseat.
"Ready to learn some pretty awesome witchery?" Lola asks.
"Let's go!" Bonnie exclaims.
There was something odd about the night. Peculiar, strangely gravitating, and serene. Of course Bonnie loved it. She loved gazing at the millions of stars as if they were placed intricately and carefully by some higher being. The beauty of it blanketed across a canvas of purple haze, and if she's lucky, there wouldn't be a cloud in sight to mask its radiance.
The stars tonight weren't so bright, but still elevated Bonnie and made her feel like she belonged. Which, on this night— a night where she'd beaten death once again, a night where the tension with her best friend increased, a night where a reunion between family commenced, a night where looking at her small palms were like looking at burning palm trees— she really needed to feel belonging.
She was with Abel and Lola. One being her cousin, the closest to a living blood relative she has right now. Through Bonnie's eyes, it couldn't be more perfect. Here, traipsing through leaves she couldn't see and tripping over uprooted, unnoticeable roots, everything felt perfect. Bonnie stopped and leaned against a tree, her eyes closed shut, and she breathed in the late night air.
Lola and Abel stop in their tracks. Abel exchanges looks with Lola, then focuses back on a wistful Bonnie.
"You love it, huh?" Abel asked her. Bonnie's mouth stretched wide and a chuckle escaped. Her eyes open and lock with Abel's. "Being here… it feels great out here, doesn't it?"
Bonnie's arms spread like wings. She tilts her head back. A surge of serendipity rips through her bones for a moment. "It's when I feel most connected to the earth. You know? Where I feel my power is at its tipping point."
Her arms drop to her sides and she moves forward. Abel nods his head, agreeing with her sentiments. He could feel a shiver through his bones too, but it was electric. It was sudden. It was insatiable.
Abel holds out the palms of his hands, welcoming Bonnie. Lola takes Abel's left hand in her right and she gestures Bonnie to join with her left. Bonnie's hands swiftly take comfort in both Abel and Lola's hands and she instantly feels the energy.
It was warm and sensuous. A swirl of colors began to form in front of the three of them. Abel's eyes closed, and Lola's slowly followed. Bonnie's eyes were wide in fascination, almost like they were intoxicated by the colors. She was like a child on the fourth of July stunned and fixated on the whirl of light. Her lips parted and she takes in a deep breath. As she exhales the triad of orange, yellow, and red pop and burst like balloons. Bonnie jumps, closing her eyes in an instant. The colors crackle in the cold air. Then, a purple flame appears. It hovers in the center. Their faces showcasing a purple hue.
Bonnie could feel energy coming in and out of her body. There were two different energies. One was euphoric. It made Bonnie feel joy like never before. This energy spread through her body quickly, moving at speeds her mind couldn't keep up with. A moan left Bonnie's mouth causing her to quickly open her eyes in shame. She looked at both Abel and Lola, through the purple floating flame, who were still concentrated with their eyes closed. Bonnie shut her eyes again and felt another energy enter her body.
This one, this one was familiar. Like a ghost of someone she knew or was supposed to know. It encompassed her, mind and body. She wasn't in control anymore. Her eyes opened. They were smothered in a blaze of blue and her face was still. It was like water, yet nothing moved. Abel's face was too. And Lola's was like stone. Their faces wore no expression, but the purple floating fire began to transform.
And as it did, pressure was put on Bonnie's hands. Something cold began to grasp her heart like a chilled palm pressing against her chest. Then, it tightened.
The fire whipped around like a shooting star. It spiraled up, leaving a trail of purple dust, until it took shape of a pine tree. Just as the tightening fell away, Bonnie could feel warmth again. It swarmed her body as if the sun was next to her and the fire they created dissipated in front of them. At once, an invisible force pushed them in opposite directions.
Bonnie stumbled back into a tree and awoke from the trance. She was in shock. She watched Abel stand, jog over to her and help her up.
"What just happened?" Bonnie asked as she stood to her feet. The ground looked shaky and she felt lightheaded.
"A protection spell," Abel said with a smile. Bonnie held her forehead.
"A what? I've done protection spells before and they've never felt like that. That was something else."
Lola stumbled her way over. She was still trying to gather her surroundings. Abel looked back at her with his arm wide and Lola fell into him. She was looking into his eyes, he was looking back, and they both started chuckling.
"That was amazing," Lola said, sighing. "I can't even—" She looks at Bonnie like she was royalty, her head shaking slowly. She steps cautiously towards Bonnie. "I am not worthy. I am not."
Lola wraps her arms around Bonnie's neck. Bonnie could smell the vanilla perfume that failed to mask the marijuana stench. She reaches up and places her hands on Lola's back.
"You really are as powerful as they say…" Lola continues.
"Okay, what was that, exactly?" Bonnie goes on, "Because while it felt amazing, there was just something a little strange about it. I didn't feel in control. At all."
"That's because we exchanged energies," Abel answered. "It helped enhance the protection spell."
Lola had more of a lavender energy. It was jovial, playful, and a little sexy, Abel explained. He'd told Bonnie hers was similar to his. It bled strength, seeks good and loyalty, and had a spark of spunk. As they traversed the forest more, Bonnie thought about it all. Energies. She felt Lola's with a little bit more weight than Abel's. Way more than she would have anticipated too.
She took a look at Lola. Her face was small and circular, but her cheekbones made it look bigger. Her child-like eyes and nose accented the gorgeous green that surrounded her iris. She was a beauty that probably hid a beast. Although her energy had a playfulness, there was something dangerous about it. And that enticed Bonnie because her mind is so closely connected to her soul and the energy that flows within, and the way their energies blended was without effort. It was as if Bonnie's soul waited for this moment to spill, to let loose, and to be free. Like, for instance, it was waiting for Lola.
Bonnie moans. Something engaging and tantalizing entered body just for a moment, then disappears. The feeling was intense. Her body shook as she felt the after effects. She could hear her breaths. Abel could hear her breaths. He stops and looks at her.
Bonnie felt as if she was floating. She was like a star herself floating in the night sky. A warm, radiant heat blazing from within her and down into the dark night. The feeling began to fleet. And she took one last deep breath.
"Are you alright?" Abel was concerned. She didn't look hurt. If he was being absolutely positive, she looked happy. "Hey."
"Now that… was amazing."
Her phone rings.
"Hello?"
"Bonnie, listen…" Enzo's tone was filled with sorrow. Bonnie walked away from Abel and Lola to speak to Enzo in private.
"What's going on?" Bonnie asked. She could hear Enzo's voice, there couldn't be anything wrong with him. Was it Damon? Damon was the last person he was with. Bonnie's head tilted back wanting the silence to end. The stars were in her eyes. Little orbs of light throughout her green, phosphorescent eyes. "What is it, Enzo? Just spit it out!"
"We think Matt is dead."
Bonnie's face slowly pulled away from her phone. And she stared at it, like it was something else. She thinks she heard Abel's voice somewhere in the distance. But she continued to look at her phone like it was something she'd never used before. Maybe she heard Enzo's voice calling from the phone. It was him. Bonnie's eyes moved away from the phone and her eyes had to refocus for the night. She licked her lips and Matt's name replayed in her head.
She sucked in a breath and held it. Her eyes traced the cold dark ground. She put the phone to her ear again to hear the incessant calls from Enzo.
"Is he really dead?" Bonnie asked.
From a few feet, Abel and Lola watched, in each other's grasp, as Bonnie falls to her knees. Her phone drops to her side and she starts to cry.
Abel jogs over while Lola covers her mouth. He drops to her side and attempts to console her. He bites his bottom lip to stop himself from crying, then Bonnie stands up and starts running.
She sprints through the forest to find her way back to the car. She had to get back to the Salvatore house. She had to see the truth. The tears on her face dried as the wind whipped past her face. And the tears stopped falling. And she stopped thinking about the bad. She started to think about the good. She thought about happiness, a rarity in her life but a melody that plays often in her head. Everyone who knew Bonnie knows she is the governor of hope. She owns it like she created the word. And, as she finds the car and breaths escape her all too quickly, she thinks of hope. It may be like a thread, hard to grip and hang onto, but it's something to hold.
She hops into the driver's seat and doesn't the car keys. She searches the car frantically and throws things around. Her small body hops into the backseat in search of them. Abel and Lola come running out of the forest. She gets into the passenger seat and Abel slides over the hood of the car. He enters the car quickly, speaking on the phone with Damon.
"We found her!" Abel yells. He starts the car just as Bonnie was yelling at him to do so. Damon demands to speak with Bonnie and Abel hands her the phone.
"Bon, you need to breathe," Damon tells her. Just hearing the sound of his voice forces more tears to fall. Like the spell earlier, she couldn't control her tears.
"Damon, is he really gone?" Bonnie asks. She was close to sobbing.
"Yes. My blood wouldn't save him."
Bonnie gasps and covers her mouth. Her body trembles as the tears fall. The sobs follow as she watches the trees out the window. It was dark and empty, but she could still see them standing tall. One by one, passing her by, leaving her. Then, suddenly, she sees another.
"Matt was soppy and sad and whiny," Damon continues. "But he was your friend. Which means… he was mine."
There were no more trees now. Just an open field.
"And I'm sorry I couldn't save him."
The field went on and Bonnie never looked away.
"Damon, can I ask you something? Why does it seem like people just… leave?"
Then, Bonnie learned something. Matt is dead. He's gone and there is probably nothing she can do. He didn't leave. He died, yet, it feels the same way. And just like there will always be another tree, there'll be another person she meets.
Hearing Damon's voice combined with her thoughts, her truthful, regretful thoughts, caused more tears to shed. Then, seeing this open field. This vast beauty of scorned crops.
Bonnie could blame hope or she could blame herself for thinking this. But it's the truth. Matt is a friend she'll never forget.
"How did he die?
"We don't know, but… in a creepy turn of events he said your name before his last breath."