I Dream of Red
A leaf fell on her paper, the misty dew hidden in its vein splashing and blurring the careful strokes of her pen. The girl froze; she couldn't tell at first if it was a tear falling from her cheek that clouded her notes. Though she only paused for a moment, she could instinctively feel her friends shift uncomfortably before her—she knew how badly they wanted to dash this whole thing and hold her in their arms.
But Rei wasn't one for communal lamentation parties—she was a woman of dignity as much as she was love and companionship. Her grandfather, the only family she clung to for the majority of her life, was no more now than a cold body resting inside a white coffin.
Another leaf fell on to her paper, its crisp, rain-soaked fingers crumpling as it landed. A drop leapt up and struck her neck, sliding down into the warmth of her robe. She shivered, then blinked. The cool water brought some much-needed clarity into the foggy mass of emotions and pain wrapped around in her brain.
She cracked open her lips, the staleness of the suppressed weeping in her throat preventing her at once from speaking.
"Grandpa…" she shuddered as the word whispered from her tongue, not yelling, not complaining, not loving the rounded man she'd held so close, but now addressing a dead, lifeless thing as if his ears would pick up the pleading in her voice.
The futility of funerals amazed her.
"Grandpa," she tried again, closing her eyes against the impending tears. "I know you won't ever hear these words, but I still wanted to thank you. I know I never did when you were alive; despite your openness with the outside world, you never quite got over your shyness with me, so I felt strange and awkward when gratitude hung on my lips. I wanted to thank you for a home, for food, for clothing, for everything I needed, including the love I had never known or forgotten in my youth. Everyone had forsaken me, and you had no reason to take me in, but for the sake of a name, you did. And for the sake of your heart, you loved me. You brought back hope in my life, you ignited the flame in me that had all but extinguished. Through the years, you did more and more for me than you'll ever know. You might not have had much luck with love and women in your own life…"
She licked her lips and dropped her head, laughing in spite of herself. Her audience quietly chimed in. The old man's lecherous ways could never be duplicated in quite the same, charming yet disturbing way.
"But you brought the four most amazing women into my life, more family than I had ever known or expected from anyone," she looked up for the first time to meet eyes individually with each of her friends. Three blue pairs and one green shone gently in her direction, small, sad smiles shining brightly through the gray of the sky.
"Thank you, grandpa. I love you. I miss you. I want to see you once again."
Her whole body trembled as she stumbled from the makeshift stand, looking back forlornly at the white coffin. He had lived through so much pain in those last minutes of his life—she felt so useless next to him, wiping the sweat from his brow but knowing she could do nothing to alleviate his misery. He wanted to leave, and he wanted her to live. As much as she loved him, she wanted neither. But what is want when everything you need has already been stripped from you?
"Rei-chan?"
Was it already over? There were so many people before, and now, save for the four companions flanking her side, she was completely alone.
"Rei…?"
What a strange, foreign name. The girl that name belonged to died with the old man before her. That girl had a chance at happiness. That girl was loved.
"Rei, please," a hand trailed down her cheek, wiping away the tears she thought she was only imagining.
Finally she rewarded the owner of the hand with the flash of broken violet eyes, stifling everything she felt into a thick ball of agony, burning through her chest with an acidic vengeance.
"Usagi. Ami. Mako. Minako."
Suddenly she was enveloped in a crescent of arms. Mako, tallest, biggest, and most physical, flung her arms around her neck and tried to squeeze the depression away in a tight embrace. Minako reached for her long locks, sweeping down the length with her strong hands in a wave of comfort. Ami, holding back as much as she, simply touched her hand to hers with eyes cast on the ground in thought. And Usagi, clumsy, silly, cowardly Usagi, still held to her face, stroking her alabaster skin.
"I'm sorry," her friend whispered in her ear. Rei despised pity, and yet not an ounce of malice rose in her heart. Perhaps it was because she could feel as much loss in the voice as she felt in her soul. Mourning loss was certainly not the sympathy she shied away from.
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"What a very touching story," a man spat, laughing raucously to himself as he tossed his rotten apple core onto the ground, despite the trash can literally two inches away from him.
"Yes," Rei sighed, rubbing her temples briefly before continuing.
"I suppose your friend… what was her name again?" his grin hung unattractively from his mouth as he waited for her answer.
"Usagi…" she huffed impatiently, mildly surprised his memory had lasted even the two seconds that passed since she finished her explanation.
"Did she beg you to stay with her?" he mocked a face of sympathy.
"She did, as a matter of fact. But if you're more interested in asking about my personal life than renting out an apartment, well then, I suppose I'll just leave now and maybe the two of us will meet again in a shrink's office?"
The smile vanished from his face. "Yeah, yeah, of course…."
He muttered other things under his breath too low to be heard, but she didn't really care to know what he thought of her. Pushing the subject would only leave to another uncomfortable, awkward conversation about her past.
Rei didn't live in the past anymore. What was the point? No inviting memories invited her to reminisce. Only guilt, pain, and grief.
"The landlord is scheduled to meet you on Thursday," the man continued, still murmuring. "Until then, I'll collect your initial deposit. Let us know if anything needs work, and we'll do our best to serve you."
Yeah, right.
She took a deep breath and reached for her thin wallet. Three months of a forty-hour week all gone in this grimy man's hand for a place too cold, too stuffy, too small, and too dirty—life was ironically cruel, wasn't it?
He smiled greedily as she rolled the money into his fist, careful not to come in direct contact with his skin.
He bowed with a small, insincere, "Thanks, miss!"
Rei jingled the keys between her fingers for a moment, suddenly plagued with indecision. There was a forty-eight hour guarantee—she still had time to back out before being attacked with pesky bills, questions, and cleaning inspections—or at least, slightly less pesky bills, questions, and cleaning inspections…
What was the point? She couldn't afford anything better.
She had nothing. Absolutely nothing. Grandpa hadn't any money to begin with, and what he did have, he spent on her as a child before she was capable of working at the shrine. And her dad. Good ol' daddy. Corrupted her credit with who knows what, and stole the shrine along with the small money she had saved for food. It had been an interesting summer, living off of her four friends with not a possession more than the clothes on her back. At least she ate.
Now, here she was. On her own. Finally.
Rei pushed the key into its place, pushing the door open. It swung open widely (a little too easily, she noted) to reveal a dark, damp living room.
"Welcome home, Rei."
She picked up her suitcase and walked inside.
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"Rei!"
"Mako-chan! How are you?"
"Good," she smiled, handing her friend a brown sack.
"That's great, but… what is this?" Rei asked quizzically, holding up the bag in confusion. A delicious smell leaked to her nose.
Mako blushed. "Well, I know we're not roommates anymore, but I just thought I'd leave you with a parting gift since I was the last one you lived with. I kind of doubt you'll really eat well on your own—"
"Mako…" she tried futilely to return the food.
"No," she shook her head firmly. "I wanted to make that for you, okay? I'm going to be upset if you don't eat it today for lunch."
Despite her pride, Rei never needed much persuasion to enjoy Mako's cooking. "All right, then. Thank you so much, Mako! This smells decadent."
The notion of putting off starving at lunch to another day was definitely a relief.
"Thanks," she laughed, her cheeks crimsoning unabashedly.
"Hey, guys!" bright, blonde, and blue-eyed popped out of nowhere, her red bow a telltale clue to the wearer's identity.
"Hi, Minako!" they greeted in cheerful unison.
"Are you excited for your first day of public school, Rei?" she twirled around in a neat circle, her short skirt lifting in all the provocatively perfect places.
"Ecstatic…" she deadpanned.
"Not excited for school? How is that possible?" Ami walked shyly into their group, reddening as their eyes all turned to her.
"How is it possible for any of us to be excited as you for school?" Minako stopped her spinning to look half-serious.
"Well…" she looked down fondly at her books, blue hair sliding in to hide her embarrassed eyes.
"Don't worry, Ami-chan," Mako patted her back softly (the equivalent of a sledgehammer 'gently' touching a piece of cement), "we're all going to try harder this year. Right, girls?"
"Definitely." Minako agreed.
Ami looked up in surprise, her hopeful blue eyes glittering. "Really?"
Minako shot her a withering look before adding, "for a ROMANCE!"
She erupted into a hysterical fit of giggles, resuming her girlish twirling.
Ami sighed.
"I'm going to need some help with my math," Rei said softly. "Would you be willing to help me, Ami?"
"Of course!" she offered one of her rare, genuine smiles.
The chiming of a bell sang all over campus, beckoning students to their respective classrooms.
"I wonder where Usagi is…?" Mako mused vaguely, scanning the crowds for a pair of blonde odangos.
"She's always late," Rei shook her head in mild frustration. "We can't really expect her to show up when the bell rings, right? She needs at least fifteen more minutes."
"GUYS!!!!!!!"
The high-pitched squeal directed their attention to the behind them, where a girl was running as fast as her short legs could carry her, a bulging lunch sack in one hand and an irrepressible beam still permanently glued to her face.
"You're on time…?" Minako couldn't quite believe now what she was saying.
"It's not that strange," Usagi insisted, sticking her lips out in a childish pout.
Rei coughed not so quietly.
"You're mean, Rei-chan," Usagi pointedly stuck out her tongue.
"Better put that tongue back in your face unless you want me to rip it out, princess," she smiled sweetly, cracking her knuckles.
Usagi blinked innocently at Rei, then, before she had time to criticize her less-than-convincing-smile, she had poked her in the shoulder and run off, laughing evilly.
Mako whistled, eyes wide. "Wow. I didn't know that girl could move so fast."
"Yeah. Great," Rei muttered, holding her shoulder.
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"Welcome to Bagels and Blenders, home of the tastiest and most nutritious meals on the go. I'm Yuichiro. How can I help you?"
The man with overgrown, dark curls (for a Japanese boy, he certainly pulled off the surfer dude look with decent aplomb) hid his kind face behind a complicated-looking cash register, not immediately noticing the girl in front of him who was snickering to herself.
"For starters, you could look up when you're addressing one of your most valuable customers," Rei laughed, biting her lip in extreme amusement.
"Oh, Rei!" he jumped up as if startled, nearly knocking over his co-worker.
"Hey, watch where you're going," she hissed, throwing her nose into the air and storming away in the other direction.
"Sorry…" he said sheepishly, turning back to Rei. "So, what's up, Rei?"
She cleared her throat and raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, right," he jumped up again, this time smacking his elbow against a machine intent on staying stationary. "Ouch…"
Rei giggled. "Are you always like this, Chaddy boy? I didn't think my order was that special. You've only wrung me up like what? Three hundred billion times?"
"Three billion and one," he corrected with a smile, setting a bag full of strawberry bagels and a coffee in front of her.
"Thanks, buddy. How much do I owe you?"
"Three billion and one times and you still don't remember how much it costs?" he asked incredulously.
"Only joking," she laughed, pulling out some loose change. "All right. Here you go—the last of my change."
"Are you kidding me?" he shoved her outstretched hand away as if it had offended him. "I'm not going to take that. Especially not now."
"Chaddy," she tried to reason, "I want to be totally independent. Look, I love you forever for watching out for me, but I can't take your charity food. I know you snuck all of my money back into my wallet. You're not as clever as you think."
His cheeks turned a faint shade of pink, but still he firmly shook his head. "No way, Rei. I won't take it from you. And if you keep arguing with me, I swear I will just throw more bagels in. I know where you live, Rei. Remember?"
"Oh yeah. Speaking of which, is my other order ready now?"
"Rei…" he hesitated, looking extremely uncomfortable with himself.
She tapped her foot, amethyst eyes blazing with a power she knew he couldn't defeat. "Yuichiro. Bring it out now."
He flinched at the sound of his real name.
"Rei, I…" he began.
"No, listen to me for a second. I know it's dangerous, ok? I've always known that—I'm not an idiot. But three times what I make now? That's a lot. I could move into a new place. A comfortable home, not bacteria-infested crack house. Who knows? Maybe some day I'll even buy you a couple bagels."
"Fine," he conceded, walking back into a room she couldn't see.
He returned with a brightly colored outfit, tossing it unceremoniously into her arms.
"What is this…?" she held the stretchy fabric above her head in disgust.
"Ask the creepy guy who came here this morning. Maybe he knows. At least he knew red looked good on you."
"This isn't a fashion show," she gulped, taking in the awkwardly short skirt and red high heels. "It looks like a school girl uniform. How am I supposed to fight wearing this, hmm? And what about the fact that ninety-nine percent of the employees are guys? Ugly, beefy, horny guys wearing spandex while beating the crap out of each other? What about this doesn't scream, 'RAPE ME!!!! Please!'"
"That's it," he snatched at the outfit unsuccessfully. "I'm telling everyone. Have fun explaining your new career as a cage fighter to Ami, Mako, Minako, and Usagi. Bet they'll just love to hear that."
"Chad, please," she begged, gently holding to his forearm. "Please don't tell anyone. Don't break my trust. Please."
He gulped as he stared down, her creamy, white skin actually touching his. Momentarily stunned, all he could do was nod in compliance.
"Thank you! Well, I'd better be off. Got a lot of homework to do. Bye!" She grabbed her food and whipped around, cheerfully crashing directly into the man behind her and spilling hot coffee all over his white, iron-pressed shirt.
"Omigosh!" she let out an uncharacteristic yelp and leapt down on her knees to pick up the remnants of her drink before hastening to help him clean himself up.
"I am so, so, sorry," she gasped, apologies dropping from her mouth like verbal vomit.
"It's okay," he laughed, a smooth, delicate sound as sweet as honey on her ears. Magnificent blue eyes smiled down at the face lost in embarrassment and apparent shock. "It was my fault, anyway. Guess I got a little too carried away staring at you—has anyone told you how cute you look when you're trying to get something you want?"
Her cheeks smoldered. "N-n-n-oo. Why would someone do something like that? I'm just your ordinary, apparently klutzy girl and I AM SO, SO SORRY…"
"Rei, right?" Another dashing smile lit up his face, its perfect brightness competing with the sunshine in his cropped, blonde locks.
She nodded silently.
"There is nothing ordinary about you."
Though she didn't believe it possible, her cheeks turned an even darker shade of red.
"Um, Rei…?" Chad's voice called gracelessly from behind her. "You forgot this."
He dangled her unattractive uniform in front of her, eyes downcast.
Of course. Of course he had to show it off to the whole café when she stood with a man who was quite possibly the most god-like in the universe.
"Thank you, Chad," she hissed, seizing the outfit, thoroughly embarrassed.
As she fumed in the other direction, a hand reached into her pocket discreetly, gently placing a piece of paper for her to find later.
Chad watched angrily, evidently not pleased.
"Hi, I'd like to order a strawberry smoothie and a plain bagel. That will be all, thank you," the man said politely, offering Chad a crisp set of bills.
"Get it yourself."
The man raised an eyebrow of righteous confusion, watching as Chad threw down his apron in fury and walked into the room marked "employees only" without a second glance.