Hey, Hi, Hello.
Here is part one of an ItaSasu short story. This was inspired in part by a picture I saw in a video of comics and pictures for the pairing SasuNaru. It's the video to the side. The picture itself is at 5:26. This turned out much, much lighter than originally planned. It's probably the music I'm listening to. Please enjoy this! :D
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto T/.\T
Anything in bold is important or with emphasis.
This is what thoughts look like.
~FREEDOM~
FANDOM: Naruto
TITLE: 'Hurt'
AUTHOR: slasheRR, obviously.
PAIRING: ItaSasu. (ItachixSasuke, . .homosexual love)
RATING: R
LEMON/LIME: First implied lemons, then an actual lemon in the second/third part.
WARNINGS: Incest! Consumption of alcohol (why does all of my yaoi stuff have sake in it?), a bit of angst, a happy ending. Uchihacest, AU, OOC-ness. If you do not approve of yaoi, simply do not read it.
~FREEDOM~
'I wonder if there will be a day when I stop hurting you.'
~FREEDOM~
Another day.
My eyes open. The first thing I see is the white ceiling. A crack runs almost entirely across the expanse of it, meeting the corner and disappearing. The only sign that this house was old, the only sign that it was anything but perfect. Except for me. I felt like the crack in the ceiling- something ugly, out of place in this house and this family.
But oh well. I couldn't change anything. I could just wait for the next one month, two weeks and two days of my life to slip by, until my eighteenth birthday, and then I would be gone. Free. I would be able to make my own choices, be my own person. I could fail miserably, fall flat on my face. It would hurt, it would require hard work, but I would have done it all on my own. A small smile drifts up to the surface, wanting to break free. I push it down, though- even when he wasn't near, my father still controlled my every action.
I swing my legs over the side of my bed. I had school today. My last day of my junior year of high school. We weren't even going to be doing anything except for sitting around talking. I shower quickly, eager to get out of my house. I run a comb through my hair, ignoring the way it was perpetually spiky in the back. After nearly eighteen years of living, I figured out my hair was gravity defying and would resist anything I even dared to use to smooth it down.
Heading back to my room from the bathroom, I pass by Itachi. I forgot to bring a shirt, so I was only wearing boxers and a pair of skinny jeans. His eyes drift down my chest, up, down again, and then to my face. I keep walking, ignoring the look. My relationship with Itachi was rather complicated as of the past year or so, and most of the time it was for the worst.
On my seventeenth birthday, when night had come and our parents were asleep, he snuck into my room. I still hadn't been asleep yet, too excited thinking about how there was only one year left before I could leave this all behind. I was a bit startled when he came in. He kissed me on the lips and told me that I looked 'delicious'. I was confused by that. He proceeded to show me what he meant by fucking me into my mattress. And ever since, he gave me an insane amount of mixed signals. Shoving his hands down my pants and giving me a less-than-chaste kiss when his girlfriend went to the bathroom and it was just us two. When our father was on a business trip and mother was at the store, proceeding to show his affections the same way he did the first time. Then, when we were still laying in bed feeling the after effects of sex, he would call his girlfriend to make plans about their next date.
And his girlfriend was a big contributing factor for why I wanted to leave. She was one of the worst people I had ever met. She was completely unattractive, what with her humongously fake boobs, caked on face makeup, way-too-revealing clothes, sickeningly sweet floral perfume, and her high, nasal voice. Just thinking about her made me want to punch something. And she was such a bitch- whiny, demanding, clingy, assuming. She hated me too, always letting me know that.
No reason to put myself in a bad mood before I even got to school, though. I think about something else, something that brought a blush to my cheeks. Itachi. I feel heat in my cheeks, and I thank Kami that I was alone, in my room. I think of how much I loved him- Itachi was one of five family members I didn't perpetually despise and wish the worst fate upon. The other four were my cousins Obito and Shisui, and then my two uncles Madara and Izuna. Madara and Izuna were the younger brothers of my mother. Obito was an entire five years older than me, Shisui four, Madara seven, and Izuna one. In fact, when I left home on my birthday, I would be going to stay with Madara and Izuna. I already discussed it with them thoroughly, and they were welcoming about it.
My thoughts of Itachi- absolute adoration, devotion, love. I loved him with everything in me, even though he managed to hurt me. I sometimes wondered if he did it on purpose. Maybe so, but that didn't change much. I would always be Sasuke, his little brother that followed in his footsteps like a lost puppy and was to be used as a toy. Nothing more than a game.
Time to go to school, now, I remind myself. Not time to think about Itachi hurting me. I slide my shoes on and grab my keys. My father allowed me to drive to school. I didn't really own the car, and that fact was continually in the back of my head. I had a cell phone, too, but that wasn't under my control either. Not long now until I got control of my fate, though.
~FREEDOM~
The following weeks were all blurred.
A tension begins building in my chest. A giant, neon sign burned in my head, reminding me I only had a little bit longer now until I was finally free. The tension slowly mounts, growing until it almost felt like my chest would cave in. On the morning of my eighteenth birthday, I wake up. I take a shower and put on the clothes I had set out for myself the previous night, stowing away the ones I had been wearing in one of my suitcases. I only had a few boxes and things, stuff I wanted to take with me when I left. But, for the main part, my things were all staying here.
I move downstairs at around ten thirty, knowing Madara would be here soon to pick me up. As it happened, my father was off of work today. So all of my family would be here to witness my departure. They were all currently gathered in the kitchen, eating a late breakfast. My father sipped coffee and discussed business with Itachi. My mother was at the stove, making chocolate chip pancakes. I drift emotionlessly into the room, pour myself a glass of orange juice, and press a kiss to my mother's cheek as I pass her. She greets me happily, chirping, "Sasuke-chan! Happy birthday, sweetheart! I'm making your favorite- chocolate chip pancakes!"
I nod. "Thank you, kaa-san. I appreciate it." If she paid much attention, she would discover I hated chocolate chip pancakes with everything in me. But oh well, this would be the last time, so I would suffer through it. I'm only just sitting down when the door bell rings. Already? I rise from my seat the same time Itachi does. He goes to answer the door while I head upstairs to get my things. I can hear him welcome Madara into the house, leading him to the kitchen. I almost smile at this, grabbing my things. I had two bags and one box. I sling the bags over my shoulder and scoop the box into my arms. Then I head back downstairs.
From the kitchen, I can hear my mother call me. I reply by telling her 'just a moment', and I set my things by the door. When I reappear in the kitchen, I find Madara speaking with them all. When he looks up to see me standing in the doorway, he rises from his chair. "Well, Mikoto-nee, I'm afraid I can't stay longer," he tells my mother, walking across the kitchen to join me at the door. "You have all of your things, Sasuke-kun?"
"Hai," I nod. I turn to face my family. They all look extremely confused, so I decide to explain what was going on. "Well, tou-san, kaa-san, aniki, I'm eighteen years old. Of legal age. That means you no longer have control over me. And I am leaving. I'm sick and tired of being unable to make any choices for myself. All my life, I've been like your puppet. Living in Itachi's shadow, doing what you decided for me. And I will no longer be subjected to your will."
"Tou-san. You have been doing your damnedest to mold me into your ideal son. You never paid much attention to me, only speaking to me if it was to inform me of how pathetic and useless I was. I used to genuinely desire to be the perfect son like Itachi. But I came to the realization that no, I was not, am not, and never will be Itachi. So I'm not going to even try anymore. Kaa-san- I love you, but you're not much different. You don't pay attention to my likes and dislikes. If you did, you would have realized that I hate chocolate chip pancakes with every fiber of my being. But neither of you can compare to you, Itachi," I say, fixing my gaze upon his face. "I love you with all of my heart, more than anything else. I worship the ground you walk on. There will never be another person, Itachi. Never. Not that I would even try to replace you. You're all there's ever been for me, all I've ever wanted in my life. There is only one part of you that I don't love- that stupid whore you call a girlfriend. Believe me, I know that you don't think of me in the same way, and I know that you never will. That certainly doesn't impair my feelings towards you. Even so, I can only take so much. And so, I'm finally getting the fuck out of this perfect little family."
With that, I turn on my heel and leave. Madara follows closely after, ignoring my father's protests. We carry my things out and load them up. I feel a smile tugging at my lips the entire time, even when my father runs out onto the lawn screaming obscenities. It isn't until much later, when the house that was the source of my hatred has long since disappeared from my view, that I finally let the smile show.
-TWO YEARS LATER-
One summer afternoon is when my life starts to crumble down.
I was the only one there. Madara was out with his boyfriend Zetsu and Izuna was at work. I, myself, had only recently gotten off of work. It wasn't out of the ordinary when the phone rang. It was great timing, as I had literally just stepped into the house. I set the bag I was carrying against the wall by the front door. It doesn't take long to find the phone- it was on a counter in the kitchen. Leaning against the counter, I scoop it up into my hand and press answer as I put it up to my ear. "Uchiha Sasuke," I say.
"S-sasuke?"
"Shisui? Is that you?" I ask. My eyebrows furrow in confusion- all contact between my other family members and I had been dropped when I left. I hadn't spoken to Shisui in years, so something was definitely up. And he sounded like he was crying, which was even worse.
"Hai," he tells me, "Listen, um, you remember Uruchi? Well, she, uh, she died-d."
"Oh, Shisui," I tell him, "I'm so sorry. When did it happen?" I was being honest- I genuinely felt bad. Aunt Uruchi was far from my favorite, but she was Obito's mother. And, seeing as Obito was one of my favorites, it hurt to know he was in emotional pain.
"Two days ago. I would have called sooner, but it wasn't easy to track down you guys' number," He says, exhaling shakily. He was doing a good job at hiding the pain, but it was still there. "I want you three to come to the funeral."
"Oh, of course," I say, "when is it, and where? Don't worry, we'll be there."
"The day after tomorrow. There's going to be a wake, the actual funeral, and then a a reception afterwards. We'll all be gathering at someone's house beforehand, though," he informs me. He gives me the time and address and then, after a small exchange of words, we end the conversation. At least I would be seeing him again, though it would be under saddening pretenses.
~FREEDOM~
Oh, how fate hated me.
I stare up at the house before me, the one I had been doing my best to completely erase from memory. As was a horrible coincidence, the meeting before the wake was being held at my former home. And so was the reception. Madara, Izuna and I were all dreading it, but I don't think they were as afraid of it as I was.
"So," Madara whispers to me as we begin the torturously short walk up to the front door, "we have an emergency plan just in case we need to get the fuck out and away from them, right?"
"No," Izuna whispers back. Madara makes a sound of disapproval. Izuna rolls his eyes as he knocks on the door. All I do is try not to throw up in the bushes. It would be in rather bad taste to do so when there had been a recent death in the family. Moments later, the front door swings open to reveal a familiar face- my mother.
When her eyes land upon me, they water up. My guilt flares. I really shouldn't have been so harsh to her, because she honestly did not deserve the words I directed to her. She was the only one I regretted speaking to like that. She invites Madara and Izuna in. They step in past her, entering the household and going into the kitchen where others were. But all I can do is stand there awkwardly and watch her go through several emotions. First, shock, followed by anger, guilt, love, and forgiveness. When this final emotion comes to rest upon her features, I allow myself a small, hesitant smile. "Kaa-san," I begin, "I want to say that I'm sorry for what I said about you. It doesn't change what I said about Chichi or Itachi-"
"Sasuke-chan!" She exclaims, diving forward into my arms. So I guess she forgave me, if her hugs were anything to judge by. I find myself hugging back, feeling a bit of the old Sasuke come back. After a moment, she pulls away and tells me, "Come, Sasu-chan, Shisui and Obito are in the kitchen."
I follow her inside, careful to shut the door behind me. We reach the kitchen quickly, where I see she failed to mention that my father and Itachi were there as well. It's rather strange when they immediately cut off all conversation when I enter the room. "Sasuke," father says coldly. "I see you have your ears pierced."
Itachi remains silent, as do the others in the room. I'm guessing this is where the men are, because Obito, Shisui, Madara, Izuna, and a good portion of my male family members are. They're all silent, staring at me expectantly. I cast a glance around the room before letting my eyes come to rest on my father. "Hai, tou-san. If it displeases you to know that, then you'll be overjoyed about the tattoos."
That seems to ease the tension, if only a bit. Small conversation begins again, and I go straight to the farthest place away from Itachi. That place is the far counter. No one else is over there, which is even better. I can be left in peace. I take a drink from a tray and down it, discovering it was wine. Not as good as sake, but at least it was alcoholic.
My peace doesn't last very long, for the last person I want to talk to saunters over. Itachi. Great, just fucking great. And the first thing he says to me? "Hello, otouto."
I make eye contact with him. "Itachi," I reply steadily.
His eyes flash with emotion for a brief moment before he speaks again. "I broke up with, as you so eloquently put it, the stupid whore I called a girlfriend. The day after you left, as it was."
I laugh derisively, rolling my eyes and taking another glass of wine. "Is that supposed to impress me?" I ask, sipping my wine. Damn, this was good stuff. And I needed it to ease my suffering.
He chuckles. "One can hope, otouto," he informs me, and then leaning in so his breath tickled my ear, "I've missed you very much. I hope you don't disappear again, little Sasu-chan."
I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. "I hate to disappoint you, Itachi, but I do not plan on staying."
He laughs breathily, sending shivers down my spine. I do my best to resist them, but I still tremble a little bit when he speaks again. I really, really hope he didn't notice that. I don't think he did, seeing as how he didn't laugh at me. "Mhm," he murmurs, using his best bedroom voice, "you were wrong with what you said, about how much I love you."
"Ah, no, I don't believe anything I said was incorrect," I reply, trying to ignore the urge to lean into him. He presses a gentle kiss to the side of my neck and he licks the shell of my ear. What a fucking tease. He pulls away, smiles at me, and says he'll be back to bother me later. I roll my eyes again, drinking more of the wine. I had a feeling I would need it just to get through this nightmare.
~FREEDOM~
TA-DA.
Chapter one is complete. I really shouldn't be starting this right now, but I can't help it ): the part two for the KakaIta twoshot 'Leave' is almost done, I should have it up by Wednesday :D Sorry for the wait. Next chapter of 'Like Ghosts In Snow' is almost done as well, so that'll be up sometime soon!