Chapter 1 - Carbonized Lungs

The wails of the sirens woke her from a stubborn sleep and begrudgingly shoved her out of the warm bed she's had since she was ten. Clarke rubbed at her temple and pulled the turquoise curtains to the side where her eyes scanned the expanse of her neighborhood. It was usually quiet at dawn. But the warning siren blared and made the air vibrate. In the distance thick black smoke met with the lilac sky, and people stepped onto their lawns in robes and pajamas trying to figure out what the problem was. Clarke knew it wasn't an earthquake, nor was it some sort of storm. The sky was crisp and the world was at it's calmest for the very last time.

Clarke walked through the halls, suddenly very awake as the dull screaming from outside fought its way through the walls of the house. The earth seemed to shatter, and the pictures on the walls of family didn't register to Clarke any sentimental value in that moment. Just the need to find the phone and call her mother. She could hear Abby's voice in her head clearly from the last conversation they had, "South America is so nice this time of year. Me and Marcus never got our honeymoon. We'll be back before you know it. Spend some time with Wells or your other two loud friends."

Clarke never really appreciated Marcus any higher than the usual politeness she possessed so the air could be only a little less thicker. He wasn't a bad man. Far from it, actually. She just could never find it in herself to ever let him in. She wasn't angry at Abby for moving on. Clarke figured it would happen eventually. It irked her that Abby still hadn't changed the blue sheets her father had slept on. It made her heart ache that she had worn her old wedding ring until Marcus had proposed to her and gave her a new one to wear. Clarke keeps that wedding ring around her neck where it hides just under her shirt. She also kept the watch her father got her when she was younger after having asked him the time way once too many when she was up at night working on her homework sat beside him in the living room until one or two in the morning. He had always sat with her until she had crashed out from exhaustion. He would then turn the tv off, set her work and books on the end table, set the house alarm, then scoop her up in his arms and carry her up to bed. When she started to get a little too big to carry, he handed her a box with a silver watch and said, "Now you can just lift your wrist and be at time's kiss." The quote had always made her laugh, but she realized that he had been at time's kiss. And it had given him to death. Taken him away from her. Still, even with the new man in their house, Jake was still there in photographs, old movies, and in their hearts.

Clarke padded down the stairs in bare feet and searched around the living room for her phone. She had always left it downstairs in a whim of being so tired and forgetting about it. She regretted her carelessness at that moment as the siren wails didn't seem to let up.

Clarke grabbed the couch pillows, throwing them off in haste, and when she found nothing, she grabbed the cushions and lifted them up as well. She discarded them on the floor, and reached her hand into the creases of the couch and felt around. When she was about to give up and look somewhere else, she felt the cool plastic of her phone case, and sighed in relief as she yanked it out.

When she clicked the home button, her screen lit up and she was greeted with too many texts to count. Clarke's mouth went dry. She unlocked her phone and went to the most recent.

Octavius Blakemus

7:08am

You remember that disease you me and Raven were

Joking about? It's fucking real.

7:09am

It was all over the news an hour ago. None of the tv's

Are working now.

7:10am

Please tell me you're okay, Clarke!

Clarke stared down at her phone in disbelief. If it weren't for the sirens she'd shake her head and laugh then go back to bed. But she had a feeling Octavia seriously wasn't bullshitting her this time.

Clarkus Griffster

7:21am

I'm okay, O.

Clarke then opened Raven's texts which seemed to explode. Everything with Raven exploded.

Ravenclaw Reyes

6:40am

Clarke! That fucking disease wasn't bullshit!

6:40am

This dude fucking ate a reporter's face on live

Television! This is fucking insane!

6:48am

All channels have gone off air. What the fuck.

6:51am

Clarke please text back!

6:56am

Your mom still isn't back yet! Fuck!

You're there alone! My mom won't

Let me go to you!

6:59am

You better be okay or I'll fucking kill

You, Griffin.

Clarkey Griffindor

7:22am

I'm okay, Rave. My mom isn't

Supposed to be back for three more

Days. I'm coming to you.

Clarke's hands began to shake. She truly didn't know what to do. Was she just supposed to hunker down and wait for Abby and Marcus to come home and let them take control? What if they didn't come home? Clarke opened some more texts from Wells, Bellamy, Jasper, Monty, Roan, and Harper. She let them all know that she was okay, then she anxiously opened the texts from her mother. The earliest ones.

Abby

4:32am

Clarke, something bad has happened.

The disease that was proven to only

Be a flu is far worse than that. It looks

Like a zombie horror movie here. You

Need to go to the town's public evac

Shelter.

4:32am

I love you, Clarke. I'm trying to get

Back to you. Everything will be okay.

You are strong.

When Clarke tried to send a text back, a red exclamation beside her text told her the cell service had gone, and she felt her heart boil and drop to the ravine of her stomach. Clarke then tried to text Raven or Octavia but the same red exclamation came up. Hot, salty tears began to brim over her eyelids, and she threw the phone in frustration. How could Abby leave her alone? How could she make her endure this all alone? Truly, she didn't know something like this would happen. It simply wasn't her fault and Clarke hated that she couldn't blame anyone for this.

Exhausted and drained, Clarke ran up the stairs as fast as she could and slammed her bedroom door behind her. She dug the palms of her hands into her eyes and willed herself to get a grip. Maybe it wasn't really as big of a deal as everyone has made it out to be. Maybe it's just a measly disease that had made everyone go a bit crazy like those drugs some people took that made them want to eat skin. It could be anything.

Clarke changed out of her pajamas and into a black shirt with her dark blue jacket. She tied her hair up in a bun and began to throw some stuff she knew she'd need into her bag. Going off of the zombie movies she would binge watch with her father all of those years ago, she made a list in her head and began to shove medicines, and foods, and some of Marcus's tools, and blankets and spare clothes into her bag. She was far from done when she stopped in her tracks at the noise she heard coming from the front door. Someone was messing with the doorknob. Clarke ran up the stairs into Abby and Marcus's room and put in the code of the large safe, where she pulled out the pistol they kept there, along with tons of bullets. She placed the bullet packages in her bag, zipped it shut, and loaded the gun before making her way to the top of the stairs, raising the gun with shaky hands and aimed just beyond the door, ready as she's ever been.

When the door finally popped open, Clarke's heart was nearly on it's way to beating itself right out of her chest. A young woman with an even bigger backpack than Clarke's stepped into the threshold and glanced up at the blonde. Clarke was relieved and annoyed all at once at the sight of the girl standing at the bottom of the stairs.

Lexa Woods was her neighbor. Her neighbor she's hated since Lexa threw dirt at her when she was playing outside when they were six. High school didn't make things much better. Lexa came out as a lesbian, and Clarke was out as bisexual. And Clarke hated Lexa even more solely because she had the largest crush on Lexa and couldn't do anything about it. Lexa hated her for some god unknown reason. Yet there she was in her own home, looking up at her expectantly. The sirens from outside grew louder since the door was opened. Lexa shook herself out of her Clarke induced reverie and pushed the door shut.

"What are you doing here?" Clarke said bitterly. "Why did you pick my lock?"

Lexa lifted a hand to her head and scratched it as if Clarke had just asked her to solve a hard calculus question to determine someone's life expectancy.

"I, uh, I knew your mom was away. I'm alone too," Lexa shrugged sheepishly.

"So you're stalking me?"

"What? No! I just realized, I mean your mom's car hasn't been in the driveway for weeks and-"

"I know. I was fucking with you," Clarke winked and trudged down the steps, until she was directly in front of Lexa, mere inches in fact. Lexa's breath hitched and Clarke arched a brow in confusion. Lexa took a step back and lifted her thumb to her mouth where she greedily chewed the nail.

"My mom texted me saying I need to go to the evac shelter. But I need to see Raven and Octavia first."

Lexa nodded her head reluctantly at the mention to the other two girls. They were so loud and annoying. Clarke seemed to be the only normal one out of the three of them. Though all three of them were pretty, Clarke outshined the other two in Lexa's eyes. Clarke had hair of hay fields and eyes of cornflowers, and it always made Lexa feel so at a loss for words and made her emotions swirl and she felt so overwhelmed. She had no way of expressing how she felt to Clarke without looking like a complete idiot, so she chose to stay at a distance, and at times if it was needed, to be mean. It broke her heart every time.

"You don't have to come," Clarke shrugged. "It's not like I need you or you need me."

"I'll go," Lexa said way too fast.

Clarke smirked at her and Lexa rolled her eyes.

"I have nowhere else to be."

Clarke wanted to ask where her parents were and why she had nowhere else to go, but she held herself back knowing Lexa most likely wouldn't tell her anyway. Clarke led them out the door, gave a last glance to the inside of her house and slowly closed the door.

/

The Reyes household was loud and rambunctious even at what seemed to be the end of the world. Lexa enjoyed the drive there, though. The roads near the city were filled with people running, screaming, dying. And her and Clarke's neighborhood was starting to look the same by the time they left. But once they turned into a dirt road and began driving into the countryside, it became quiet again. The siren had long since stopped, and the air was filled with a smokey, ashy smell that would be overwhelming if the fresh air didn't over power it. Clarke had put their bags in the backseat of her car, instructed Lexa to not put her feet up on the dashboard once she was in the passenger seat (Lexa wasn't going to anyway) and started to pull out of the driveway. Away from the normality of their lives. Lexa had rolled the window down and let the warm morning breeze hit her face softly. She looked longingly at the fields they had passed along the way and wished she could run through them again. Clarke saw the longing in Lexa's green eyes and she wanted to ask her about it, but stopped herself once again. She had to remind herself Lexa was only with her because she had nowhere and no one else to run to. She was just there so Lexa didn't have to be alone. The thought made Clarke's heart ache. She drove on.

Yes. the house was loud. Mostly because Raven lived there, but Octavia had been there too when Clarke and Lexa arrived, much to Clarke's relief. Despite the pitch, the house was neat and clean. Lexa hated to know that it would soon be destroyed by the new world they were forced into.

And despite Lexa's utmost expectations of the girls cringing once they had seen Clarke brought her along, they were actually extremely nice to her. They made it seem like they were glad she was there. Lexa shook at the unwanted feeling worming its way into her gut and closed herself off even more.

Raven's mother was one of those mothers that had a mixture of best friend and authority. The mother with so much to give and enjoyed giving it. She cooked before the electricity went out, and they all ate a supper big enough to feed a small army. Raven's family consisted of just her and her mother, but really, Clarke and Octavia acted as though they lived there too. Lexa almost felt jealous that these girls were so close. She herself had never felt that way with anyone. But then when she looked at Clarke, looking at her two best friends with adoration and ease, Lexa softened. She was glad Clarke had something like that.

/

Later that night, the girls were holed up in Raven's room while Raven's mother kept watch on the porch, with a large shotgun and her cat, Maximus on her lap. Lexa sat farthest away from the three girls, closest to the window as they all talked about the disease. Lexa laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling, only feeling the slightest comfort in the dark, and listened on.

"Where do we go from here? It's not like we have that much protection from whatever the hell is out there," Raven sighed.

"Not only do we have to be careful with the disease, we have to be careful with other survivors. They have strategy and motive," Octavia said. "We need weapons. We need to be ready."

Lexa had heard the rumors around school about Octavia Blake's homelife. How her father was abusive, but went to prison for robbery and died two years after being sentenced. How her mother was a meth head that only ever left the house to get her drugs. Lexa knew Octavia had put on a front. She was the star athlete, one of the most popular girls in school. But she was never a bitch. Lexa liked that about her. She knew Octavia probably lived here more than at her own home. Her older brother, Bellamy was away at college and Octavia had gotten herself self defense lessons, and gotten into taekwondo to fight off any of the angry men coming around her apartment to try to kill her mother over drug money. Octavia knew everyone knew about her life, yet acted like it wasn't true. Everyone else played along.

"I have my gun, Lexa has her machete," Clarke said in a husky tied voice. Lexa shivered at her name being said in that voice and tried to tell herself that emotions are weakness. It was all she had ever known.

"We can rack up some more somehow."

"We'll figure it out," Octavia concluded.

"We should sleep. I think this could be our last night of full rest for god knows how long," Raven said and shuffled around in her blanket.

None of the girls had used the bed because it was too small and they all wanted to feel closer to one another. All except for Lexa.

"Goodnight," all three girls said at the same time.

"Goodnight, Lexa," Octavia whispered.

Lexa was thinking about not answering and pretending she was asleep but she couldn't find it in her to do so.

"Goodnight," she whispered back weakly.

When she turned her head, she could see the stars from her place by the window and she felt herself slowly start to drift in a long awaited slumber. A slumber she couldn't fight off even if she had wanted to. With Raven's light snores in the background of her mind, she let herself surrender to sleep for once in weeks.

The sleep Lexa let herself fall into betrayed her later into the night and she woke up shaking from the previous nightmare still fresh in her mind. She was covered in sweat and she felt too exposed under the moonlight, in the large expanse of Raven Reyes' bedroom. Lexa stood up on jelly legs, and struggled to not step on anyone as she made her way to the door. She stepped on a rough patch in the carpet and the floor creaked. Lexa winced and halted to a stop, waiting and listening for any movements from the girls. Raven's snores were the only thing coming back to her. Lexa shook her head. They would really have to learn to be more alert and wake up to noises like that. The world wasn't like how it used to be a month ago.

Lexa opened the door, and quietly snuck out of the stifling room and into the hallway which seemed much cooler. Lexa remembered seeing a closet filled with boxes earlier when she had made her way to the bathroom. It looked like the closet Lexa had sat in all of those nights when she was hiding from her nightmares. Hiding from the drunk people her uncle always invited over and had parties with. Lexa silently squeezed herself into the small space, and settled herself behind the boxes where no doubt, she couldn't be seen. She clasped her hands over her legs and pushed her knees against her chest, willing herself to breathe evenly. She blew on the sticky sweat settling against her skin and sighed. She was 18 years old and she was still sitting in closets when she was terrified. Not like that would be an option anymore soon enough.

The closet door clicked open silently and Lexa tensed up, ready to fight if she had to. But what she didn't prepare for was Clarke's soft whisper, and reassurance. Clarke closed the door behind herself and tucked herself close into Lexa's side, invading her space without a care in the world.

"I heard you fitting in your sleep," Clarke whispered against Lexa's neck. "What were you dreaming of?"

Lexa gulped and exhaled what she hoped was her fear of opening up. But those stone walls around her heart were still as sturdy as ever.

"I can't remember," Lexa lied.

"Is that why you're in here?"

"Why are you in here? How did you know this is where I went?"

"This is where I go when I think about my dad," Clarke admitted. "If it hurts too much, I usually come to Raven's just to sit in here and get myself together. This always was the perfect place to be in times like that."

"What happened to him?" Lexa asked without thinking. It was Clarke's turn to exhale.

"He died. Cancer."

"Clarke, I didn't-"

"Yeah, I know." Any previous malice Clarke held for Lexa seemed to drip away into the carpet of this closet. She didn't know why she felt so calm talking to her about this. Maybe it's because Lexa was so close to home without actually being truly apart of it. Maybe it's because Lexa had always made her feel strange things she could never put a name to.

"It was five years ago. But it still feels like yesterday sometimes."

"I bet you miss him," Lexa whispered.

"Very much. Every day."

Lexa felt something in her chest crack. The walls were becoming less reliable.

"My parents died in a car crash with my older brother and sister," Lexa said softly. She felt Clarke wrap an arm around her and instead of flinching or pulling away, she leaned into the touch.

"I was at home with a babysitter because I was too little to see this movie they all wanted to see. I was five. That was what I was dreaming about."

Lexa suddenly felt exhausted from the small amount of information she spilled out to Clarke. And maybe Clarke senses it because she didn't say anything and Lexa was grateful for that. Clarke felt at ease with the brunette in her arms and tried not to break the moment with a wrong word or pity line. She just held onto her until they both eventually fell asleep in what would usually be the worst position ever, but neither girl had slept better until then.

/

Gunshots. There were too many gunshots for it to be another nightmare. And there was yelling. Screaming. Things being thrown to the floor. Things or people. Lexa shook awake and instantly reached to grab Clarke's hand, hoping she was still there with her. When she felt the blonde's warm hand slide into her own, her heart thudded only a little less frantically. They both sat there in the closet at the end of the hall, behind tall stacks of boxes, settled in fear.

There was another gunshot and a frantic aven yelling, "Mom!" And the ordeal went on in slow minutes that stretched on into hours. When it was silent, Clarke began to stand up, but Lexa forced her back down. Clarke was about to complain when they heard pairs of footsteps come up the stairs. Men's' voices filled the previous expanse of silence and Clarke felt the bile rise in her throat. She looked at Lexa in panic, but Lexa remained stoic, and raised a finger to her lips.

When the footsteps got closer, Clarke gripped Lexa's hand harder, she was worried she'd break bones. But as a hand settled on the doorknob, another shot rang out and the man outside the door cursed to himself.

"Those little bitches!" He yelled as he zoomed down the stairs with another two sets of footsteps.

Lexa stood up fast, and pulled Clarke with her.

"We need to get out of here," Lexa whispered. "And we need to hurry."

Lexa opened the door slowly and when she saw emptiness in the hall, she pulled Clarke out and made a run for the bathroom.

"But Lexa, our stuff!"

"Forget it we need to go!", Lexa whispered harshly.

Clarke gave her a stubborn glare and ran back into Raven's room where she saw Octavia's and Raven's stuff had gone. They had hopefully made it out of that mess. Her heart began to break. She shoved it away and picked up her and Lexa's heavy bags before turning around to see a man in the doorway. He was dressed in ripped clothing and blood spatter had littered his unshaven face. The apocalypse had just begun and people were already starting to look like hoodlums.

"Hey there, pretty girl," He said in a thick southern accent. "Looks like you and me get to have a good time, huh?" The man made to step into the room but then thin yet muscular arms were around his neck choking him. He was kicked on the back of his knees so he fell over. He clawed at the arms around his neck and aimed for to claw at the face of his killer as well, but couldn't make it. His face fell and he slowly stopped struggling as his eyes lost their sight right on Clarke.

Clarke looked up at Lexa, stunned. She had just killed a person. A person that surely would've raped and killed her.

Lexa ran over to Clarke, grabbed her hand and forced her out of the room and into the bathroom. Lexa had already opened the window before going to check on Clarke. Lexa threw their stuff out of it, and it landed on the ground with a dull thump.

"You just-" Clarke stuttered.

"Survival is the key to life now, Clarke. Let's hope you're ready for it." Clarke stared into Lexa's eyes and an odd feeling of safety settled in her tummy.

Lexa gestured to the windowsill, letting Clarke go first. Knowing there was no time to waste, Clarke scrambled out of it and took a hard landing on the ground, wincing at the pain spreading through every inch of her body. Then, Lexa was beside her, grabbing her and holding her up. Clarke slung her backpack weakly over her shoulder and let Lexa hold her hand as they began to run towards the fields.

"But Raven, and Octavia," Clarke tried to object, but kept running despite it.

"Will survive," Lexa reassured.

Clarke didn't say anything else. Both girls ran until their lungs were begging for a rest. Once they were far enough away, they collapsed in the field near a bunch of trees and panted out their exhaustion. Clarke felt the world as she knew was completely gone. Lexa felt the new world was just beginning. As she looked at Clarke, she couldn't be happier to be stuck in it with her.