Close your eyes
A Harry Potter Fanfiction:of family and the trials faced by a reluctant hero
Snape sighed as he picked up Potter's Essay Journal. He opened it up and a folded piece of paper fell out. Curiosity took him and he slowly unfolded it holding it close to the light of the candle to read the faded scratching of potter's handwriting.
It's dark. The clouds are covering the moon but I can still see the outline of the bars on my window. Hedwig's pecking at my window, it's loud. I glance at my heavily locked door before turning to send her back to where she came from. I hear the pounding of uncle's footfalls and I curse under my breath. He's coming up the stairs and I don't have much time left. I toss my wand and my books into by trunk before shoving it under my bed. Uncle's at the top of the steps, he's drunk, I can tell that already. I toss the piece of bread I snuck from the bread drawer and the water bottle Ms. Fig gave me under my pillow. The locks are being unlocked and I rush to the window. I opened it and wrap my hands around the cold metal bars and push. They won't budge but I keep trying I have to keep trying. The last lock is unlocked and I turn, eyes wide. He is red in the face and shuts the door behind him. I take a step back, but there's no getting away, I'm trapped. He grabs me by my collar. I
Suddenly the paper catches fire. Snape puts it out quickly but it is destroyed, all but a few lines.
It's over for now, Uncle left locking my door behind him. I groan and roll over onto my stomach. I can feel the bruises begin to form. I look at the calendar, three weeks, I can last that long, then I'll be safe. I can hold in for three weeks… I hope.
Snape is stunned. "Bruises, then I'll be safe… Is potter being abused?" he thinks to himself. Forgetting the journal he stands, the scrap of paper in hand and walks to the headmaster's office.
Harry collapsed to the ground in searing pain as his skull was split from the inside out. His scar was on fire burning relentlessly, a silent scream was drawn from his lips. When it was over the Dursleys stood in stunned silence as the thirteen near fourteen year old boy stood on shaky legs. Vernon started shouting, moving towards the boy with his face turning an ugly shade of purple. The boy was a deer in headlights. His whole frame tensed as he gripped the counter. In a sudden act of self-defense Harry grabbed the small cutlet knife and slashed at his uncle. When Vernon stepped back the boy tore up the stairs to his small sheltered room. He tossed the knife onto his bed then pushed his dresser so it was in front of the door. He continued by pushing the bed up against the dresser. He picked the knife up and looked into the mirror. With one hand he grabbed the flesh around his scar and pulled the warm skin forward. He took the knife to his skin hissing slightly as he carved into his forehead and cut the scar from his face. It was bleeding as the knife moved as if on its own accord around the lightning scar, with a crying hissing harry. When the deed was finally done he set the scared skin onto his dresser. With a piece of paper he took his finger to wipe the blood and wrote:
Find someone else to be your hero I don't want it.
H.P.
He took his sheets from his bed and cut them in thin strips to wrap around his head. With the homemade bandages in place he took his trunk and whispered the shrinking spell and the lightning spell. He stuck his tiny trunk into his pocket then turned to the window, not even hearing the rough banging at his door. He turned to his window and opened it. He felt his magic flooding his body he pushed against the bars then the screws came out and the bars flew off. With one last look at his prison he jumped from his window and went running down the street.
The next evening Snape arrived at the Dursley's house. He let himself in quietly as to not disturb the sleeping household. He placed his wand flat on his hand and whispered "Point me to Harry's room." Then with long double stepped strides he went up the steps and stood outside a door that held lots of locks and bolts. He pushed the door open only to see a dresser blocking his way. He gave a harder push then slipped in. There was blood covering the floor. There was a bloody knife on the floor and Snape took a step forward his face paling at the sight. He staggered forward to the boy's desk were he saw a flab of skin and a note written in blood. He read it then looked at the flab of skin that held a single lightning-bolt scar. Harry Potter had run away, and he was injured.
It was two weeks since harry ran away. He was cold and sweating as he sat in the dark ally of muggle London he now called home. During the day he would normally sit at a corner and beg for money so he could by bread and water, but he didn't feel well. Especially as a dark shadow of a figure fell over him. He looked up though fever clouded eyes to see a man with a black vest and a tall police hat standing in front of him. The man took his cap off and knelt before the boy.
"Ye alright lad?" He asked. Harry nodded.
"Watcha doin out here, lad?"
"Don't wanna go back." Harry whispered "Can't go back, don't make me go back." He begged. The officer looked at the boy.
"Ye look mighty famished, lad, ye want somthin to eat?" harry nodded slowly and the officer stood.
"Ye stay right 'ere lad, I'll go get food, right?" Harry nodded to tired to move. The officer returned not ten minutes later with a bag of fast food and a grocery bag.
"Here ye go lad, nice and warm for ya." He said handing the boy the bag of fast food. Harry ate quickly as the officer sat down next to him.
"Tell me lad, why'd ye run?" Harry didn't answer but simply looked at the older man.
"Alright lad ye don't need to say anythin'." The officer said and harry then fell asleep.
The officer walked up to a large house and knocked on the door.
"Mister S. Snape?" the officer asked. Snape nodded.
"The boy you were looking for? Well I found him, he's ill, but…" the officer started then cast a glance at his car where the figure of a young boy was leaning against the window.
"I saw your history as a healer and I figured you could take care of the boy." Snape nodded numbly as he followed the officer to the car. He opened the door slowly and held the malnourished boy so he did not fall. Slowly he picked the boy up into his arms and carried him off into the house.
Harry woke in a dimly lit room he blinked slowly then groaned. Then cool glass was pressed to his lips.
"Drink Harry." A voice Harry knew whispered. So he did slowly then sat up.
"Lumos." The voice said and the room filled with light. Next to Harry was the dark robed potions master.
"P-professor?" Harry whispered.
"I'm right here Harry, and You will NEVER have to go back to those… those muggles ever again." Snape whispered. Harry blinked surprised at the professor.
"Yes Harry I am not as cold as I appear to be… I ran across a… rather eye opening letter, from you, in fact. Then I ran across your… present to whomever would come looking for you." Harry swallowed and looked down.
"You don't have to explain anything to me harry, I understand. But I believe I have a few things I need to explain to you." Harry looked up, curiously, at the man.
"When I was much younger I fell deeply in love with a woman, but I was a spy, like I am now, and we had to marry in secret. And for her safety she pretended to marry one of her friends, who gave his consent. At one point my wife became pregnant, it was hard for both of us. She gave birth to a baby boy a few months later but, then she and her fake husband had to go into hiding. A friend of her fake husband betrayed their location, and her fake husband was killed, then she was too, to protect our son."
"What are you talking about sir?" Harry asked his voice barely above a whisper.
"I am talking about you. My wife her name was Lily Evans, she pretended to marry her friend James Potter, though I think he loved playing house with her." Snape commented.
"Wait so-"
"Yes harry,"
"I have a family?" Harry asked. Snape smiled.
"Yes harry you have a family, a family that wants to know you more."
Harry smiled just ever so slightly.
"Now sleep, Harry you need it." With that harry closed his eyes and sleep fell over him.
Harry watched as his son slept peacefully, his hollow cheeks inflating as he puffed air out in his sleep. He did it, he told the truth that had been holding him down for so long. He was able to look at his son without pretending to hate him. He was able to sit like any father would waiting for their son to get better. He had a family once again. He kept vigil over his sun till morning turned to night then the next morning came.
Harry was walking in a misty field, and he was alone. The grass under his bare feet crunched like ice crystals. Then he heard a tune, a piano that filled the air with comfort. He looked to his right to see a young woman with scarlet red hair and a white dress sitting at a large black grand piano. Her head was bent down as her pale fingers danced across the keys. And Harry stopped to watch with a sense of grief. The song was sad, but he felt safe around this faceless woman. Slowly he walked towards her, his feet crushing the frozen grass beneath his feet. The woman finished the song and turned around. She smiled at harry with pale pink lips but her emerald green eyes sparkled with glee.
"Hello harry." She whispered. Harry didn't know that voice but he felt like he should, like he used to fall asleep to that sound. She stood and walked towards harry her dress flowing gracefully behind her.
"Come, harry, I have much I need to speak to you about." She said holding out her hand. Hesitantly harry took it and to his surprise it was warm to the touch. The piano started to play by itself and the woman smiled at his shock.
"Don't mind the piano it's enchanted to do that." She said as she started to walk holding Harry's hand all the way. He followed her as she walked to a tree that appeared. They sat down at the base of the large tree and she smiled.
"You must be wondering who I am… or at least where we are." She said looking into his eyes. He nodded.
"Well we are in your dreams right now, a sort of limbo, I needed to speak with you before you woke again."
"Why?" Harry asked, his voice like a young child's.
"Because, in time I would have told you myself, but events happened that prevented me from doing such. I never wanted you to have to carry the weight you bear. I never wished for you to go around being gawked at like a zoo animal, or be treated like you were a weapon and nothing else." She explained as she brushed his hair from his brow.
"I remember when I was pregnant with you, Sev and I were so happy." She whispered. His eyes widened.
"Mum?" She smiled and nodded.
"So Snape really is my father?"
"Yes and he loves you very much."
"Then why did he never show it or…. Or even tell me!?" He asked his voice near a shout. But Lily responded calmly and continued to brush his slowly growing hair from his face.
"Because he cared too much, he didn't want to risk you getting hurt. Dumbledore didn't know that you were his and he was already a spy. So it became easier for him to look at you with hate, hate because you grew up without your real family, hate because he could never tell you, hate that all he could do was dream of what could have been. He couldn't tell you because it could hurt you, you and him. Which is why I came as soon as I could to explain it to you." She whispered. Harry nodded slowly then looked up.
"Mum, why do I feel different?" He asked feeling as if his skin was moving around on his bones.
"I am taking off the charms I placed on you as a babe, you'll look how you were meant to be." She said as she kissed his forehead.
"It's time to go back." She whispered. A tear fell from Harry's eye as he looked at her
"I don't want to leave you."
"I will never be truly gone Harry, I'm here in your heart." She placed her thin pale hand over his chest then kissed his cheek.
"I love you my son." She whispered as the dream faded into blackness.
Harry woke up blinking slowly as he took in the brightness of the room. Snape was asleep in the winged chair next to him. Harry sat slowly grimacing at the ach in his ribs. Snape's eyes shot opened and he looked at the boy. Harry's hair was longer than when he had drifted off, and it was blacker. The boy was also paler than he normally was. His cheek bones were more pronounced where the hollows were deeper and his nose was a bit longer.
"How are you feeling?" he asked looking over the boy.
"Well I sure have been better, but I've been worse too." Snape nodded, stood and then sat down next to him. He placed the back of his hand against Harry's forehead.
"You did real good, sir, I don't even think I could have done that well." Harry mumbled.
"Your vain attempt to cut open you head has earned you an infection, you still have a slight fever." Snape said looking at the boy's pale face then jumped.
"Wha-"
"Mum changed me back." Harry mumbled. Snape nodded thoughtfully when harry sat up fully leaning his arms against his legs.
"Did it work?" Harry asked suddenly and Snape looked up at the boy.
"Did what work?" Snape snapped.
"You know, my vain attempt, to get rid of my scar." Harry whispered. Snape sighed and leaned back. Harry pulled his legs up to his chest and Snape put his hands behind him leaning further towards the bed.
"Yes it appears so." Harry smiled and rolled forward leaning his head against Snape's chest. Underneath him harry felt him tense then slowly relax.
"What did you mean when you said mum?"
"Mum she came to me in a dream, she told me some things and I understand now."
"I'm glad." Snape whispered watching as Harry's eyes drifted shut. He laid down fully and ran a hand through his son's hair.
Harry sat quietly at the table downstairs as he and Snape ate in silence. Harry reached up and snatched his glasses from his head then continued to use his shirt to scrub at them furiously. Then he looked up feeling Snape's eyes burning into the side of his head. He widened his eyes surprised then set his glasses on the table. Snape raised an eyebrow.
"My looks are apparently not the only thing mum changed." Harry muttered.
Snape took a sip from his glass then set it down.
"I wanted to speak to you about something Harry." Snape started. Harry raised his eyebrow looking at him.
"I wanted to ask you about the scars on your back and torso." Harry took a breath and looked out the window
"That's nothing." Harry whispered.
"What about the old bruises that litter your skin." Snape asked. Harry clenched his jaw and stared straight forward.
"Let's try a different one, how about a bit of diary in your journal. You talked about your uncle grabbing you."
"I wouldn't expect you to understand." Harry snapped. Snape raised an eyebrow and looked at the young teen that sat next to him. Suddenly Harry's eyes widened.
"S-sir I-I-I d-didn't mean t-to" Harry stuttered but silenced when Snape held up his hand to stop the rambling.
"You are right, harry, I don't understand, but I am trying harry, and that's more than most could say." Snape said standing and walking to Harry's side. He knelt down and put his hands on the arm rest of Harry's chair. "So help me understand harry but I need you to talk to me. That's the only way, I want to help." Harry looked down at his lap before he nodded. Then looked at Snape his Bright green eyes meeting Snape's dark black ones. "Alright. I'll talk, but… sir, can we... I mean … could I… can I have a different name? Harry potter is the hero everyone wants, but I'm not him anymore." Harry asked. Snape nodded.
"Alright. What do you want it to be?"
"I want it to be what you would have me be named." Harry said.
"You want me to name you?" Snape's eyebrows shot up into his hair line. Harry sheepishly nodded a yes and Snape sat back on his heels.
"How about Alexander?" Snape asked. Harry nodded.
"Alexander James Snape." Snape supplied. Harry smile and nodded.
"I can have nicknames, Alex, or AJ." Harry said smiling broadly.
"Well Alexander, we are going to have a nice long talk."