Mel vs. Umbridge
"Now now, miss Boyde what did I say about selling banned products in school?" Umbridge tutted, pulling her by the ear sharply. They reached a door leading into a hideously pink office and she abruptly pushed Mel into the frilled, pink cushioned chair.
Mel gagged subtly at the many mewing plates covering the walls. She heard the familiar 'hem, hem' and looked up to respond with a completely expressionless face, "Products that have been banned are not to be distributed, used, or sold in or on Hogwarts grounds."
"Very good Miss Boyde, now if you'll be so kind as to," she set a cup down in front of Mel and began pouring a steaming liquid into the ornate cup, "drink your tea first."
Mel took up the cup and spoke a soft spell that slowly eased the drink away, making it evaporate unnoticed. Umbridge looked at her expectantly. "So dear, where did you receive those items? From whom did you get them?"
"I found them, in the forbidden forest. There was a hidden stash of them somewhere that I just happened to come across," she replied calmly. "Really, is that so Miss Boyde? Well then perhaps you can show me this-stash-you found."
Umbridge followed the blond haired girl to the edge of the forbidden forest. Once there, she promptly set out to find said stash of Weasley products. The first tree they came upon was called a Carnive Willow tree. Typically, no one had ever ventured in certain parts of the forbidden forest and made it out alive. So this tree was not well-known. It was a teething cousin to the Whomping Willow, so to speak.
She placed an herb smelling glove over her right hand and plunged it into the 'mouth' of the tree. When Mel pulled out the bag of supposed contraband, Umbridge gave her a wide, toad grin. Mel turned away after giving her the bag and smiled.
As she was led back inside, a certain pair of miscreants followed gingerly behind, careful not to be noticed. When Mel returned to the office, Umbridge decided to finally check to see that it really was what she believed it to be. When she opened the bag and reached her stubby fingers inside, she gave a loud gasp and shriek as pain entered her. A pair of Doxys was clamped onto her fingers, causing her to shriek and flail about the room.
Mel sniggered and attempted to leave the room undetected but was blocked when the door closed and locked itself. "You, my dear, will not be going anywhere. You will sit here and write lines," she huffed, going into her drawer and bringing out a quill and paper. Mel looked at the quill with disgust; everyone who had gotten a detention with Umbridge had forewarned her about the blood quills.
She blatantly refused to pick up the quill and didn't do so until Umbridge magically pried it into her hand. Mel still refused to write, waiting for the moment they would unleash their fury upon her.
It wasn't until she had slowly, and magically, started Mel's hand to writing that a squeal was heard outside the office. She left momentarily to punish the squealers, or cause of the squealing. The second she stepped outside she found herself knee deep in mud. Pigs were squealing around her, digging their snouts into the mud. Half buried in the mud were two Slytherin robes, those of two particular students. Malfoy was staring at the two pigs covered in muddy pig prints.
Fred took off down the hall with a special gift he had received from Mel, a video camera. George followed his brother, snickering consistently down the hallway. Mel stepped around the mud and grabbed Umbridge's hand, promptly placing the quill in her hand. She muttered a spell and Umbridge shrieked as the quill began writing on the floor, 'I am a bitch' repeatedly.
All that could be heard the following day was the shrieking professor who could do nothing properly until her hand healed.