Huge thanks goes to HaloFin17. I had big plans for this story and did a lot of research, then changed my mind and ended up needing a second opinion on whether it works without all the legal details. Thank you, my friend!

Last (fourth) part of We're Superheroes series.

"Peter-"

Stark broke off. He looked like he would really rather be doing anything else, but he was there anyway. Sam Wilson appeared at Peter's other side and reached out for Peter's arm which was supporting and half-shielding his red, tear-streaked face. Sam was the one from 'Cap's team' Tony got along with best; as a (former) therapist he was also much better at handling relationships than Tony; all good reasons to bring him.

"How did you find out?" Peter choked out.

Tony sighed and sat down on Peter's right. "I have an alert on both of you," he admitted. He looked shaken, too. To him, May Parker had been young, gorgeous, kind; but she hadn't been invulnerable to a careless driver who hadn't seen her in time. It was a tragic accident with no evil intent behind it, but that didn't make the consequences any less bad.

Peter just nodded. He probably should have known.

"I can't deal with this," Peter managed. "Everyone dies. Why does everyone around me have to die?"

"That's not true, kid. You've had some shitty luck, but it's not your fault."

The hospital lights were too bright and too cold, but they were nothing compared to the wasteland of Peter's mind.

"Here are your options: if you have some relatives ideally over the age of twenty, they could come out of the woodwork now and take you in."

Peter silently shook his head.

"I had Friday do an evaluation, and your chances on the free adoption market-"

"Stark," Wilson hissed. "Don't call it an 'adoption market'!"

"What else would you call-"

"Tony's right," Peter rasped. His voice trembled, but at least it didn't sound as awful as days ago at the hospital. "I'm sixteen. People who want to adopt, want young children. Not teens who stay out all night and could be doing drugs. Same is true for foster parents. I'll probably go to a group home or get passed around. Moreover, the risk of exposing Spider-Man is going to be high."

Tony cleared his throat. "Now you could come out publicly as Spider-Man…"

"Not an option."

"Okay." Tony let it go. "That leads us to door number three: Family Courts and Social Services are understaffed and overworked anyway. I would suggest emancipation, but by the time you got an actual court date, you would probably be long eighteen and not need it. And emancipated or not, you would still need a legal guardian." Tony took a deep breath. "The way I see it, we have to find you a guardian or foster you ourselves to get you out of the system. Pepper can do it, Rhodey and Sam offered as well. With some luck and some money, of which I have plenty, they'll accept it, eventually. But it may take time and patience. Actually, my legal department tells me it will definitely take time and patience. I might already have stretched theirs, they don't have that much experience with family law except the occasional paternity suits."

Peter stared.

Tony stared back.

"According to the law, a guardian should be a person able to make good decisions," Tony was babbling now. "Pepper says my extensive, publicly documented 'misbehavior' disqualifies me. Rogers has appeared on the Most Wanted list twice now, so he's probably unqualified, too. Sam may be difficult, since his superhero activities put him at a high risk, and he ran away with Rogers, but otherwise he has a heroically spotless record. Rhodey may be a better option, and then there's Pepper. She can wrap any judge around her finger. Our last option is, of course, kidnapping you to the Avengers facility upstate and not asking anyone. We're unlikely to be found out, because why would the Avengers kidnap a teenager? We can home school you. Rogers can teach history, art and PE, I'll do maths and physics, Banner can teach chemistry, and what else do we need…?"

"English," Sam put in, giving Tony an even stranger look than Peter was at the moment.

"Who needs English? He'll be studying engineering, not creative writing!"

Peter had to look away. Hot tears were waiting to fall again, and Peter hated it; he hated feeling helpless, he hated having to rely on other people, he hated everything.

"I don't know if I can do this," he whispered. "My life gets fucked up every . single . time." Peter's fists were clenched, and his swearing was just another unnecessary indicator of how thoroughly upset he was.

"Peter, it's not your fault," Sam repeated what Peter had already heard at the hospital days ago.

"Kid, we're all messed up," Tony said. "We could all be dead next year from another alien invasion. Or we could die trying to hang a lamp and falling off the ladder."

Sam gave him a black look, probably trying to convey that Tony was not taking the right approach with a grieving teenager.

Strangely enough, Peter choked out a laugh. "Not you, Mr. Stark. You would die of liver failure first."

Peter had never called Tony out about his habits, and now was probably some of the worst timing. Tony's jaw tightened, but he didn't argue. He stood and walked over to the other side of the room to look out the window. Then he glanced back at Peter. The teen wasn't saying anything either. Sam was almost surprised that he wasn't trying to apologize. Apparently he was beyond that.

"Listen, why don't you tell us what you want?" Sam spoke up in his soothing therapist voice.

"What do you mean you could all be dead next year?" Peter asked instead. Apparently that comment hadn't gone over his head as a flippant answer as Tony had hoped.

"Well, we're Avengers, and alien invasions happen too often around us-"

"No! You know something. This isn't you guessing! This has something to do with that research you and Dr. Banner are doing in the lab which I'm not supposed to know about-"

"Peter," Sam tried to calm the increasingly agitated teen.

"No, you're shutting me out!"

"You're too young-"

"I'm Spider-Man! I risk my life at least as much as you every night!"

Stark sighed loudly. "That's cops and robbers, this is different," he said, speaking over Sam's clearly useless denials.

"What is it?"

Sam shut up.

"Thor says something big is coming," Tony confessed. "The big bad who pulled the strings for the Chitauri attack. Apparently, Loki was just a henchman."

"So you're keeping me out because you think I'm too young and would be risking my life more than I usually do," Peter stated. "Will there even be an earth left afterward for me to live on, have you asked yourself that?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, we have asked ourselves that! And we decided that every Avenger is willing and ready to die to make sure that there will be an earth afterward. For you, for Pepper, for everyone else. That's why we had to get everyone together again, regardless of what we still think of each other."

Peter stood up. He was tense all over, and his face was blotched, but he looked deadly serious.

"Am I an Avenger? I thought I was."

Tony swallowed. "You are." He nodded.

"Then don't shut me out." Peter blew out an angry breath and looked back at Sam. "You asked me what I want. I want to be an Avenger. I don't want to be excluded from what you're doing. Even if we end up deciding that I won't play an active part in one of your missions, I want to know about it." He relaxed minutely. "I want to stay in my current school. I'm about to graduate. Afterward, I can move upstate with you, or to the tower. Let's go with what you said: do whatever it takes so I can stay with you."

Tony looked relieved.

"Done. This building belongs to me, by the way. As far as I'm concerned, you can stay here as long as you like."

Once Sam and Tony had started mission 'keep Peter with the Avengers and out of the system', the other Avengers had gotten involved each in their own way. As Legal had warned them, it wasn't easy. One night, Tony confessed to Rhodey that thermonuclear astrophysics had been simple compared to family law. The odds were against them.

"What does it say?" Sam asked when the latest letter from the case worker came in.

Tony rubbed a hand over his face.

"That we don't stand a fucking chance. Rhodey could, in theory, but they know that even if Rhodey moved into Parker's apartment, Peter would end up hanging out with me by extension; and nobody in their right mind would let someone they see as an alcoholic around a foster kid." He tried focusing on breathing, but it still felt like a panic attack was imminent. It was ridiculous, this had nothing to do with the Chitauri, this was family-

"Breathe, Stark, I need you to breathe with me! In, out, you're doing good, let's do that again, in, out…"

It took a while for Tony to register the warm hand on his shoulder and Sam's voice.

"Can't really blame them, can I?" Tony choked out once he was capable. "I know what that's like. You don't do that to a kid."

Sam nodded. Stark had himself under control these days, he'd cleaned up his act a lot since the formation of the Avengers. He had skirted around calling himself an alcoholic, he might not even be an addict yet, although from what Sam had seen in person, his drinking wasn't healthy either. Unfortunately, Tony's widely publicized birthday party from years ago where Rhodey had beaten Tony down in the stolen War Machine was still on the case worker's — and other people's — mind, and there had been earlier unflattering reports of him drunk, too. His generous MIT speech and other perfect press appearances were just a drop of water in a big bucket of vodka.

"Have you talked to Peter?" Sam asked.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"The truth. That things are getting tough. He's over sixteen, courts will want to know what he has to say. We've got some leeway there." Sam shrugged. "He's been getting restless lately. Considering how many people he's lost, he's latched onto you pretty good. To be honest, I'm getting a bit worried what he'll do if the state gets between you. You suggested kidnapping; I think he's prepared to give up school and run away."

"What?!" That was news to Tony. He abruptly realized that he'd been more involved with the legal side of Peter's problem, he'd neglected the personal one. Spider-Man might be a superhero, but Peter Parker was a teenager traumatized by loss.

Sam sighed. "He's been moving stuff here upstate. I think he's planning to run here if he has to. He's smart. Nobody knows about the facility here."

Tony blinked. "Shit. He is smart." And, he had to admit, it was exactly what he would do. With one exception: "He ask anyone if he could move in?"

Sam bit his lip. "He asked Steve," he admitted.

"Steve?! Captain America? And he gave permission?!"

Steve had had a freak-out once he realized how young Peter had been when Tony had pulled him into their little fight. He'd shouted at Tony for nearly half an hour, and Tony had shouted back almost twice as long. Other than that, they tried to avoid talking much.

"I think he realized that he couldn't stop Peter from doing something more stupid. Allowing him to set himself up at the facility was the better option." A small smirk tugged at Sam's lips. "And I hear that Peter read up quite a lot about Captain America. He may or may not have confronted Steve with his many failed attempts to join the army back in the day against anyone's better judgment. Something he said must have had an effect."

Tony laughed so hard he nearly teared up.

The conversation he had with Peter the next day was one of the hardest he'd probably ever had, but Peter only nodded grimly.

"I can always get my highschool degree later, after I'm eighteen." He didn't add 'if I'm still around to need one'.

"The other option is a new identity," Tony said. Why he hadn't thought of that earlier he couldn't say now. "We can fake up some papers and have you go to school upstate. Highland is good. Or in another district of the City. I know you don't really want to leave Queens because that's your Spider-Man territory, but Peter Parker would have to disappear from there."

"Maybe move to Brooklyn instead and start out there," Peter considered with a carefully controlled nod.

Tony didn't comment on his choice. "Maria Hill isn't that well known in public. She can pose as a parent if necessary. Everything else is just paper."

"Okay. I could deal with that."

Tony tried a confident smirk. "Let's wait for now. Perhaps we'll get a miracle yet."

The miracle arrived by FedEx. At least this time it wasn't addressed to 'Tony Stank' but to Rhodey. It was a stack of papers with a yellow post-it note stuck on it.

Heard you need this. Now get your asses in gear.

-N.

Peter nearly cried when he held the papers that would finally allow him to stay with Rhodey as a foster child. It didn't take care of all problems, but they would deal with the other problems when they came up, too.

After Bruce had found out that he and Peter shared a love for board and card games, they got together on the weekend when Peter was around or whenever it was convenient and played anything from Scarbble to Risk to Backgammon (if Tony didn't hijack it). Eventually, it became a team magnet and others joined or at least sat around and watched and gave usually useless advice and comments.

"Strip poker," Tony suggested.

Steve's eyes widened. "Absolutely not," he said loudly, shooting a look at Peter as if Tony could possibly have forgotten the presence of a minor.

Peter blushed. If there was any good time to remember his last game of spin the bottle and taking off his clothes, this wasn't it.

"Don't think about it, please," Wanda spoke up, and, predictably, Peter blushed even more. Tony raised an amused eyebrow at him. Peter still didn't know how Wanda's telepathy worked, if she picked up on all thoughts whether she wanted to or not, or if she had to actively try to look into a person's mind. As long as he didn't get an explanation, there were bound to be embarrassing moments.

They ended up playing Monopoly, which meant a long night and Tony sniffing his many fake bills. It also featured a colorful cocktail with a pink umbrella which Peter eyed curiously. Tony caught him at it and, after a moment, asked:

"Do you want to sip?"

Of course half the team started spluttering with outrage, Steve and Clint being the loudest.

"You can't give alcohol to a minor-"

"Tony-"

"Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Language!"

Rhodey stayed calm and gave Peter a wink. With that in mind, the teen quickly grabbed the glass out of Tony's hand before Steve could intervene and took a massive gulp guaranteed to set him off coughing if it included any alcohol.

"Tony!"

Returning it with a contemplative look, Peter said: "It's good, I like it."

"I can mix you one," Tony offered, taking a look at his card from the Chance deck with a grimace.

Peter started laughing. "You're going to jail," he guessed.

Tony threw the card down face up, moved his piece and recited: "Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200."

"Then you've got time to mix my drink. Pretty please."

"Tony!" Steve gritted out again, looked furious.

"Relax, it's a virgin."

Steve looked surprised, then ashamed at that. The grin Tony threw his doubting team mates was a brittle imitation of a great white showing teeth, but at least nobody was ripping anyone's head off. The billionaire ruffled Peter's hair up with one hand as he stood.

"Hey!" Peter hated his hair. The mask gave him bed head already, and whenever one of the others decided to ruffle his hair, it stood up on end in all kinds of weird ways. "I hate it when you do that! Messes up my hair!" He whined loudly.

Rhodey laughed. "You could use more gel and make it stick up straight all the time. You can't avoid it anyway, might as well own it. Tony wore it spiked up for a while back in college during his eyeliner phase."

Peter nearly choked on his spit. "Eyeliner phase?!"

"Traitor!" Tony called from the bar. "You said you'd never mention that!"

"I never said or promised you anything," Rhodey denied with an easy grin. To his captive audience he explained: "He was listening to lots of Alice Cooper and Aerosmith and what not at the time. The eyeliner was pretty attention-grabbing. His eyes looked three times as big, I swear. The girls, strangely enough, loved it. He was pushing a lot of boundaries back then." Raising his voice, he added: "Remember that party, Tony, where you wore Sabrina's-"

"No! Don't say it!"

"Wearing what?" Natasha demanded with a sly and very interested smirk capable of causing arrhythmia in men.

"I'm warning you!"

Rhodey didn't say it. He made a gesture at his feet, pushing one foot with a hand into a pointed position and mouthed: 'heels'.

It could have been worse. Peter had almost expected something worse.

"Rhodey!" Tony gave his friend a black look as he handed Peter the finished fruit cocktail. He had obviously caught the tell-all gesture.

"Is that when you started wearing lifts?" Peter asked curiously, widening his eyes for the most innocent impression he could put on.

Mentally he put a new line in his spreadsheet of 'things to be proud of' — he didn't need eyeliner to make his eyes look big. The annoyed look this earned him told him that he shouldn't have asked and that Tony was pretending to be immune. Rhodey snickered.

"Do you want me to take away your drink?" Tony threatened.

"Nope." Peter turned away to shield it and drank half of it down. "Mmm, delicious. Thank you."

He lifted his glass in a half salute which Tony took advantage of to clink their glasses together. Peter hoped he managed to convey that he was not just talking about the drink.

"Don't mention it," Tony muttered.

"Pay up, Rogers!" Sam laughed loudly, and Tony turned away to look at the board.

Steve had ended up on Park Place, which belonged to Sam. Tony narrowed his eyes and smirked. He had tried to convince Sam to sell it to him, but the other man hadn't gone for it. There was a 3% chance of Steve throwing a two in the next round and stopping on Tony's Boardwalk. Then he'd be one step closer to bankruptcy, and if Tony could be the one to cause it, it would really make his day.

There are very many fics where the Avengers play Monopoly; why always Monopoly? Beats me. Maybe because everyone knows it, the capitalist aspect is right up Tony's alley, and it offers many opportunities for subtext and antagonizing other players.

If you watched Iron Man 1's deleted scene "Champions", you'll know Tony Stark was a backgammon champion for four years running at MIT. (And Yinson, bless his soul, was champion at Cambridge.)

According to IMDB, RDJ wore lifts when shooting Ironman and Sherlock Holmes at the request of his directors.

So you see, I'm not even making the most awkward details up!

The eyeliner is on me. I don't regret a thing.

Finally: I stayed purposefully vague on the legal details of guardianship / adoption. I did a lot of research when I still had big plans for this story, but all I took away from that was: it's complicated and it takes a long time. Cue Fury as my deus ex machina. He knows people (or things about them.)

I hope you enjoyed the ride, that concludes the We're Superheroes series.

Thanks for reading and reviews are always welcome.