She had spent the last decade of her life if not more worrying about everything. She was unable to be as care free as he was, maybe thats why she was so drawn to him. She had spent the past four years not only fighting with him, but also fighting the urge to be with him. She thought after their fight earlier that day that she could go on without him, that she didn`t need him.
After all it was moments like these that helped to build the wall inside her preventing her from growing attached, but more importantly protecting her from getting hurt. She thought she could be the same driven dectective that she had been, using the same motives to push her.
The problem was she was not the same person she use to be. He had gotten to her, he had managed to change her and it took fate to show her that. Hanging off the side of that building she had seen her life flash before her eyes. There were moments that could have latched to her telling her just to let go, telling her that nothing was worth it that she had lost the fight. Then she heard it. The small clear voice in her heart telling her to hold on, comforting and encouraging her. Castle.
Every moment from that night and the past four years were playing on loop in her head, as she rode the elevated to his door. He had ignored her call, leaving her completly unsure of how he would react to her showing up at his door soaked from the rain pouring down outside. She hesitated,
finally placing four knocks on the solid door. Thinking to herself` ` it is at least worth a shot.``
He opened the door with a small grin that disappeared at the instant he saw it was her. Kate`s heart sank; she didn`t want to push him; they stood in silence for a moment until he addressed her with a cold `Beckett, what do you want?`` This was it, no more beating around the bush, no more hesitation. With a tear in her eye she reach for him and a single word fell from her mouth `YOU`. With that she grasped his cheeks placing a soft kiss directly onto his lips. Slowly releasing, but keeping her forehead locked on his she did the only thing she could think of. She apologized `m so sorry Castle, I`m so sorry, I`m so sorry`. As she attempted to place another small kiss onto him, he pulled her away, just enough so that he could look her in the eye. Although she fought with everything in her a few small tears managed to roll down her cheeks.
Caslte, the Castle that she had grown to love responded with a soft voice edged with concern. ``What happened?`` Looking down breifly Kate gathered her thoughts `He got away and I didn`t care, I almost died and all I could think about was you.I just want you.`The look of concern on his face for her was endering. She leaned in to kiss him once again, but stopped just before touching his lips. She wanted him to be okay with didnt want to push him.
She pulled back touching the couner of his mouth with her fingers.
It was as if the universe was prepared for it, the passion that had been built up over four years slammed into his front door as a burst of thunder and lightening flickered in the night. She was glad for the door behind her because her legs had gone numb he held her there as his mouth frantically covered hers. His lips tasting spots on her neck over her face. Her heart raced. All she wanted was to be with him . He slowed, her eyes looked onto his which were locked on the sight of the scar in the middle of her chest. He undid her button still unable to remove his eyes from that spot. He hesitated. Grabbing his hand in hers she lifted it to her chest placing it gently over the scar that had cause the both of them terrible pain. He lifted his eyes to hers and she gentely kissed his lips. A smile crawled upon her face as she reached for his other hand and lead him further into the apartment.
The sun began to creep through the curtains that hung in his room. He lay on his back stroking her arm which lay accross his chest, her head curled into his neck.
Everything seemed like a dream to him, this woman, this frustrating facinating woman who had captivated his heart was here in his bed, and she was worth the wait. Her eyelids flickered as her eyes rose to look at his. He placed his finger gently beneath her chin and placed a soft kiss on her lips `morning`, he said to her. She pulled her body in tighter to his and responded with the same `morning`. They lay there in the silence him continuing to stroke her arm just enjoying the mere presence of being with one another.
She let out a deep breath, drawing shapes in his chest with her finger as she said `Castle, there is something else I have to tell you.`` He readjusted his body slightly angling himself in her direction. ` resigned` As she said it she looked up at him waiting for a response. His jaw dropped slightly, regaining his composure quickly he closed his mouth before reopening it to say `what, why?`Placing her head back down onto his chest and finger still circling she said `for years I have been dectective Beckett, I have let my job run my life and define who I am. I really have no idea who I am without it. As I stood in Gates office yesterday I kept thinking to myself what it is you see in me. Who is Kate, what does someone as amazing, loving, and caring as Rick Castle see in me.I couldnt figure it out. I decided t was time I found out who I am without the job that has defined me for so long.` He gentely placed a kiss on the top of her head stroking her hair; `do you think you will ever go back?`` Maybe one day but for now I am excited to be just Kate. She grinned as she looked up at him and his grin matched hers. `well then just Kate. How about some coffee?`With a quick kiss she rolled away with the sheet held tight to her chest, she said `you read my mind`. He smiled pulling on the boxers which lay next to the bed and the plain t-shirt hung over his arm chair.
She reach for the maroon button up that lay sprawled on the floor from the previous nights adventures, flung it over herself and followed him into the kitchen buttoning it on the way.
She sat at the edge of the breakfast bar milking her coffee as she watched him work his way around the kitchen. It wasn`t long before the smell of pancakes hit her nostrils.
He stood over the stove flipping each one as it was ready, and she continued to watch him, she was loving every minute of it. Just after placing a fresh batch on the stove she walked up behind him placing her arms around in waste and her chin on his neck. He grinned, enjoyed being held by one of the strongest people he had every met and one of the most beautiful.
As he pulled the last of the pancakes off the griddle he said `you ready for breakfast?` She slowly released her grip from around his waist and said `you bet.`
She had finally gathered all of her clothes from around the apartment, not the easiest task after last night. She had finally picked up the last few pieces. She was getting ready to go after all Alexis would be home soon and her and Castle had discussed it and decided after all of events that had happened yesterday it would be better to wait to tell Alexis what was now going on between them. Just as she picked up the last piece the two heard the lock turn. `Dad, I`m home.` Both had panic stricken looks on their faces with a slight giggle Rick went for his door to peek out as his daughter. Kate still in his shirt her clothes flung over her arms gave him a look that said what the hell are we gonna do? Reading her mind he said quietly `If I distract her do you think you can sneak out?`Kate nodded threw on her pants and waited for Ricks signal. As he gave her the nod she snuck out his shirt still over her pants the rest of her clothes in her arms. As she quietly pulled the door behind her, she felt it latch and turned to walk towards the elevator, but as she turned Martha was standing behind her with a huge grin on her face. Kate, with a guilty look on her face and slumped shoulders greeted the woman `Good morning Martha`. `Good morning Kate.`
Kate continued toward the elevator and Martha remained outside her sons apartment with a huge grin plastered accross her face waiting just a few momenrs before continuing into her son`s apartment shaking her head, muttering under her breath `its about time.`