Ridiculous little ficlet from the episode last night. Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: You have no idea how much I wish I owned these characters. Alas, that will never be.
"I had loads of fun tonight," Amy informed Penny and Bernadette. "Especially when we had to jump into the bushes to get out of the way of the cops chasing the naked guy."
"Mmmm," Bernadette whined, looking down at her legs. "I bruised my knee on that rock."
"Are you sure you don't want ice?" Penny asked, unlocking her apartment door.
"No thanks," Bernadette said. "It didn't swell. And I have to take Amy home, anyway."
"Okay." Penny hesitated in the door. "So no one wants any more…ice cream?"
"Penny, look," Bernadette said, putting her hands on her friends' elbows. "We want to help you feel better about this, but eventually you have to start being home alone in the evenings when Leonard's out with Priya."
"I know, but…" Penny looked inside of her apartment. "but eventually…"
"Has to start sometime," Amy said.
Penny glanced toward her apartment again. "You guys don't want to come in, and…you know…trash Priya a little?" She looked at them hopefully.
"Priya sucks," Amy said.
"That bitch!" Bernadette said. "Now go."
"But-" Penny protested as her friends turned her around and pushed her into her apartment.
"Don't be needy, Bestie," Amy said, reaching for Penny's door and placing it between the resident of the apartment and her two friends with a click.
"Aww," Penny moaned as she went over and flopped down on the couch. Her eyes fell on the clock. It was ten – thirty. That was still in her couple – window, or her I'm – just – Feeling – So – Happy – And – Lazy window. Not her Antagonized window. No, that window was much later in the night.
And her friends had just ditched her.
Sitting up, Penny realized that wasn't totally fair. Amy wasn't a night owl and Bernadette had Howard, and Penny knew that they were going out of their way to make her feel better, or supported, or whatever the hell it was they were doing.
Her phone rang. It was lying on the table; Penny sat straight up and stared at it. It was Leonard. She knew this because of the ringtone – the automatic one the phone is set to in the store. She'd made that change four days ago when Amy and Bernadette made her stop torturing herself with the ringtones she had been assigning to him.
She reached for it. "Incoming call…Leonard". She sucked in a deep breath and hit the accept button. "Hello?"
"Penny, thank God!"
She wasn't sure if she should be worried or happy that he seemed to relieved that she'd answered. "What's up?" she asked, trying to sound cheerful.
"Something's wrong with my car."
"And you want me to help?" Penny said, laughing. "Boy, it's obvious Sheldon's not with you. He'd tell you how allegedly horrible I am with cars!"
She could hear Leonard chuckle. "Actually, we don't need help with the car, we…kind of need you to get us. We're out getting Sheldon's internet stuff back, and we're broken down on the side of the road."
"Oh!" Penny jumped up. Her first thought was wondering why Leonard wasn't with Priya. He hadn't spent time with her the day before, or at least not more than an hour or so. Her second thought was wondering why he didn't call Priya. Her third thought was that she wasn't going to ask that. At least not until she was there, being the one who brought them home. If she asked now, he could back out and call Priya instead.
And Penny really, really wanted to be the one to rescue them. Help them, she corrected. They weren't in any real trouble.
But she liked the word rescue.
"No problem, Leonard. I'm on my way. I'll get to you guys fast – much faster than anyone else could, for sure!"
He laughed again. "I'm confident."
"Got my keys," she said, grabbing her purse. "Got my purse. Heading out the door…"
"Penny?"
She rolled her eyes. "What, Sheldon?"
"I'm sure you can move a lot faster if you don't have the phone to your ear."
"Put Leonard back on."
"Will you hang up?"
"When I get in the car."
"Sorry about that," Leonard said. "And thanks – I really appreciate it."
"Hey," she said. "If you'd drive out to Kurt's and get pantsed trying to get my T.V., I can come and get you guys off the side of a road."
"Good to hear," he said. "But don't stay on the phone when you drive. You might want to get here before Sheldon starts thinking he hears wolves."
"Wolves?"
"You know him. He can't be outside in the dark for too long without hearing things."
"I think he hears things when he's inside, too," Penny said, clapping a hand to her mouth as she felt her face redden.
Luckily – from one point of view, anyway – for her, Leonard's mind didn't go that way. "Like when he gets nightmares of Goofy."
"Yeah. Exactly." Penny smiled. "Well, I'll let you go so I can get out there before one in the morning."
"Thanks."
"No problem." Penny hung up, tucked the phone in her purse, and picked up the pace, jogging down the stairs. She didn't know why he didn't call Priya, and for now, at least, she didn't care. He wanted me. Wants. Me. He's in trouble, and he wants me.
She found Bernadette and Amy in the lobby, standing by the door. They were staring up at a small cobweb in the corner. Bernadette nodded as Amy spoke.
"Hey guys!" Penny said, skipping the last step and reaching the lobby floor.
"Penny?" Bernadette said. "What are you doing down here?"
"Look, Bestie," Amy said, pointing. "That spider up there. A fine specimen of…"
"Later, guys!" She said, scooting between them and out the door. "I gotta save Leonard from the wolves!"
They watched her go. "Okay," Bernadette said, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "We can figure this out. I'm texting Howard, you text Sheldon, and if they don't have an explanation for this…we follow her. Okay?"
Amy pulled out her phone. "Sounds good to me."
They sent the messages and stared at their phones. Less than a minute later, they received simultaneous response. They read them, and then looked up from their phones to each other, grinning.
"He called her instead of Priya," Amy said. "You know why, right?"
"Because Priya's a bitch!" Bernadette said happily.
Amy nodded, looking extremely happy. The women smiled at each other, then turned and headed out to Bernadette's car.
"Should we keep corresponding with the men to discover what happens?" Amy asked.
"Nah," Bernadette said. "It'll be twelve – thirty by the time she gets there. We'll hear about it from Penny tomorrow."
"That is a – oh!" Amy paused, looking at her phone. "We may be hearing from Penny already." She looked at the screen. "It says 'He may have picked her last week, but he's already picking me again'." Amy looked at Bernadette. "We've slowly been mending her heart. Should I tell her to not get her hopes up for fear of being hurt again?"
Bernadette thought for a moment. "No," she said slowly. "I think she's pretty much right."