Title: If I'm Not In Love With You
Author: TuesdayGirl
Date: April 18, 2002
Distribution: Sure. But please tell me where.
Email: lisa_alien@hotmail.com
Feedback: I would say 'duh' but I'm not that pathetic yet
Pairing: Buffy/Spike officially. Don't let the first bit confuse you. B/S all the way!
Notes:
The story will be updated every few days, or, sooner if the muse strikes. Don't worry. I won't be one of those authors that forgets about a story.
This takes place in season one, after Prophesy Girl.
The song below is by Faith Hill, and entitled, If I'm Not In Love With You, from the album Breathe
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you, baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much
Tonight
If it's just infatuation then
Why is my heart aching
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I'm not in love with you
Why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Why in dreams do I surrender
Lying with you baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight
And if my heart is lying then what should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
"Dance with me?" Angel asked, extending a pale hand toward Buffy who sat, smiling up at him.
"I thought you'd never ask." The slayer responded happily, as she allowed herself to be lead onto the crowded dance floor of the Bronze. Holding Angel close, Buffy swayed back and forth to the music, her head on his chest. Angel kissed the top of her head and Buffy turned to look up at him, smiling. When Buffy met his eyes she frowned a little. She was straining her neck to look up at him, but it wasn't his size that upset her. It was him. He was tall and muscular, overshadowing her. Buffy felt a twinge of fear as, for a second, she feared that she loved him more than he could ever love her. She feared that what she felt about him no man, or vampire could match. Angel kissed her soundly quelling all of her fears…at least for the moment…
Somewhere that's else"So let me get this straight, you want me to KILL the slayer? And that's why you brought me here?" Spike asked, biting his pale, pink lips to keep from laughing.
"Yes." A large, black-robed demon said to Spike, not noticing Spike's amused expression.
"It doesn't have to be a production Mercaptil." Spike said, addressing the gray skinned demon. The demon answered quickly, he had obviously been expecting this response.
"You have killed slayer before. Don't think that makes you immortal. This one's different. To kill this girl…you have to love her."
Back In Sunnydale
Spike walked down the sunlit streets of Sunnydale. A silver chain hung around his neck. On the chain was a charm with the initials WC on it. Standing for William Crawford, his human name. A spell had been cast over the charm on the necklace, a spell that allowed Spike to appear human. That way, Buffy's slayer senses wouldn't pick him up, and that way he would be able to interact with her in the sunlight.
Spike had been walking the streets for around two hours and still there was no sign of the slayer. He was about to call it a day when he saw Buffy coming down the streets. Two uncovered textbooks were in her arms, and atop them, Buffy was trying to balance an almost full coke. Spike couldn't help but smile at the sight of the lethal slayer balancing school books in her arms. It made her seem so…innocent. Spike quickly shook his head to get his thoughts back on the task at hand. He looked down, making sure to avoid the slayers eyes. When she walked past him he stepped into her, causing her coke to fall and her books to drop.
"I'm so sorry." Spike said, bending down to help Buffy pick up her books.
"It's OK." Buffy replied, her voice slightly edgy. She tossed the Coke that was now nearly empty into a nearby trash bin as she shuffled around on the ground, picking up papers that had fallen out of the books she had dropped. Buffy paused for a second and looked into the pale blue eyes of the man who had bumped into her and was now helping her pick up her books. They locked eyes for a second and Buffy found that she couldn't look away.
"What is it?" Spike asked.
"Nothing." Buffy answered, blushing as she quickly looked away.
"I'm sorry you dropped your books." Spike said, helping Buffy to her feet and handing her the textbooks. After a pause Spike continued. "But I'm glad I bumped into you. Buffy blushed once again.
"Well, I better get home. I have lots of studying to do, you know…finals." Buffy turned to go. However, Spike's cool hand on her shoulder stopped her.
"Wait. I feel terrible about knocking into you. Can I buy you a replacement Coke?" Spike asked politely. However, inside he wished her could just snap the slayers neck, being this polite was killing him.
"I don't know-" Buffy began, however, she was cut off.
"I feel really terrible. I'm so clumsy." Spike said. "By the way, my name's William. Though most people call me Spike."
"Well, Spike." Buffy said, saying his name with an amused expression on her face. "I'm busy now."
"Please." Spike insisted.
"What are you, a stalker?" Buffy sarcastically.
"If I say yes can I see you again?" Spike asked, smirking at the glare that the petite slayer was giving him.
"You can meet me at work tonight." Buffy said and immediately regretted it. You have Angel. She reminded herself.
"Where do you work?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow, which caused Buffy to forget all about Angel.
"If you want to see me again, you'll find out." She answered slightly flirtatiously.
"I don't even know your name." Spike said, feeling like they were in Cinderella and Buffy had just dropped a glass slipper. Buffy turned and began walking away, her hips swinging slightly. Spike gasped audibly as her jeans rode lower on her hips. Buffy abruptly turned.
"Buffy." She replied. "My name's Buffy." Spike watched the slayer until she was out of sight. Then, he went home to get a phone book and contact everyplace that the girl could possibly work. For some reason, he found himself oddly looking forward to seeing her again. Though he knew it would possibly be when he killed her. Must be the thrill of the hunt. Spike thought to himself…Just the thrill of the hunt…
If we judge of love by its usual effects, it resembles hatred more than
friendship.
-La Rochefoucauld