Chepter 1:
"I don't know what the other gems see in Earth." Lapis confessed, "I just want to return home, but this planet doesn't even have enough water. If only my gem was whole again."
That was when Steven finally noticed the big crack in Lapis' gem on her back. He had already been staring at it for some time, but now he could see how he would be able to turn the situation to his advantage.
"Wait! I have healing powers! I can fix your gem!" Steven excitedly babbled like an obese wingless chicken hopped up on Red Bull and flying away with new wings.
"Uh, OK, what should I do?" Lapis replied the awkwerdly
"Just shit still. This moght get a little weird." Steven whispered as serenely as an std infected hobo giving up on life, as he put his big meaty bagel hands on Lapis' porcelain smooth shoulders and ostrich leaned forward.
Lapis hivered as Steven started licking her gem. The gam began sealing itself up and her eyes returned to retardation nermal. KFC wings of wetter began to sprout, but quickly collapsed with her concentr8 as Steven moved his mouth taste plasure muscle furthering down her back.
"Oi Lapis, I don ned all tis water 2 make u wet." Steven conversed with the misogymnastic tone of a man attampting to perform mating becase he's at that age of a teenarge boi where he becomes a messive horndog and unconsciously makes advances towards everyone but it's not the really, because he's actually making the advance with the intent of an Joseph Stalin destroying hte Obamacare.
Steven decided to get his foic in that blue ass so he did his vibrato thing and Lapis' clothes melted off like butter that you heat to room temperature which is above the melting point of properly churned milk, a standard stick amount of which will fully dissolve at said temperature in 5 hours. Steven could see his face. Lapis has a shiny blue ass.
As Steven did the ogle of her reproductive organs of gem passing on suicide, Lapiss started getting really moist. I guess that's what happens when you're on all fours on top of a pillar of water.
Steven's excitement made his dong as hard as diamond as Lapis continued to leak like a shitty pipe that the plumber is too incompetent and cheap to fix, and he remarked "Man, wat-er whore."
Blue lady got really La-pissed off and went all japanese on Steven as she grew water tentacles of Eogrus penetration technique. The tentacles grabbed steven and begen jerking off his hot dog because his fuckin pork chops weren't fuckin perfect according to the Gordon ass Ramsey lord, just like his father of smelly large vehicle. Lapis gesped and moaned as she inserted the apendage formed utilizing 2 atoms of hydrogen and one selfish atom of oxygen that hogs the majority of the electrons under her mental control into her I know what and another tendril of liquid at a 7 on the PH scale into her donkey hole of feces expelling.
Steven and Lapis reached sufficient levels of stimulation. Steven fired reproductive fluid at largish numbers of velocity and the shitty plumber gave up so Lapis' cunt cuntaminated the water tower with raw sewage that would now go untreated because the plumber refused to finish the job, thus corrupting all of Earth's water supply dooming Africa to explode.
The water tower exploded and so did Africa. All this frickin water came down and killed like a bunch of people but who even cares, it hurt Greg-feg's poor precious baby mobile basement van.
"I've decided that Earth isn't all bad. I want to live in Beach City." Lapis said in order to not be seperated from Steven's diamond dong by a distance of several galaxies which contain the distance of many light years.
Pearl was the OK with this because she looks really similar to Lapis and it's the closetst thing she'll get to getting down on herself because herself only find herself attractive because according to herself herself is perfect and smart and now herself can do herself.
Mayor Mountain Dewey was Ok with this because Lapis owes him a shit ton of tourist cash baby money and he was eyebalding that shiny blue ass and thinking of kinke politician ways to collect hte debt.
Connie is completely obivious because she's a dumbass who goes 2 skool.
But most importantly, Garnet was OK with it becase she is also Steben's bitch and nobody even cares what the fuck anyone else thinks if Garnot approves.
"Steven, I can't thank you enough for freeing me and healing my gem. And that felt AMAZINGG." Lapis whispered into Steven's hearing organ on the right side of his skull.
"No prob, Bob."
To bee cuntinued