Oh the streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea

You belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
Yeah, you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea

-Coldplay

She sits alone, watching the rain fall from outside her window through empty eyes. She wants to cry, but the tears won't come. She wants to scream, but she can't seem to find her voice. She wants a lot of things, but she lives in a world of delusion. She is a shell of her former self. She wants to find the will to get up and change, to force herself to become half the woman she used to be, but life got in the way. No one knows that better than her. Everyone thinks she has it all. She is beautiful, rich, successful, the epitome of the perfect socialite, the perfect woman, the perfect well everything. But they don't really know her, not like him. He knew everything about her. He knew how manipulative, perverse, and what a downright bitch she could be, but he loved her anyways. Maybe it was because he was just as screwed up as her. He loved everything about her and he had fought for her through absolutely everything. As much as she tried to hide it to, to destroy it, to conceal it, she knew she would always love him. But why would he want her? After everything she had put him through how could she just go running back to him? Would he even take her back? She told herself he wouldn't, so why should she even bother trying. He had moved on. Even then she knew that was a lie.

The rain continued to fall and she pulled her knees closer to her chest. It felt better that way. If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine that it was his arms around her and not her own. Sometimes she tried to push those thoughts away, but most of the time she didn't. It was easier that way, at least in her mind he was with her. She knew she was pathetic especially considering she had a boyfriend who would literally jump off a bridge if she asked him to. And sometimes she wanted to ask him to. She knew he loved her more than anything and that feeling was nice, reassuring, it made her feel wanted, something she had craved her entire life. She had always wanted to shine; she had always wanted to be golden. Like Serena. Serena had always been the beautiful one, the wild child, the supernova. Why couldn't she be that? She had wanted it so badly it physically hurt. So when the opportunity aroused to take something that Serena had, that Serena coveted, that Serena loved, she took it and tried not to look back. But she did, all the time. The memories resurfaced like strands of off white pearls. Beautiful, breakable, and all consuming. Sometimes it felt like all she had were memories, she felt like she was mourning a departed soul and maybe in a way she was. She was mourning herself.

She had taken what was Serena's. At first she had felt like she was airborne and heading towards the stars. It had been like a high. But when she came down, reality crashed down. And all she felt was broken and for the first time she saw the world for how it was. She had started a relationship with a man she had no real connection with. She had taken her best friend's one true love out of spite, out of jealousy. And worst of all she had broken the heart and destroyed her relationship with the only man she had ever truly loved. And now she was stuck with only one route in mind: forward.

She heard him before she saw him, his heavy footfalls echoed on the grand staircase and suddenly the world came back in to focus and she opened her eyes.

He knocked lightly on the door as if to make his presence known. She bitterly thought that if it was him he would have just walked in, but ever the lady she softly said, "Come in."

When he saw her his whole face lit up and he smiled so wide his eyes seemed to pop out of his face. She inwardly rolled her eyes at the face, she preferred smirks. He came over to her and pressed a light kiss to her lips. She returned the gesture, but more out of habit than anything else.

He was the first to speak, "You look beautiful today."

She slightly smiled and said, "That is the beauty of quality make up."

He laughed and said, "Yes, but makeup had nothing to do with your beauty. Anyways I was wondering if you wanted to go grab some Chinese food and take it back to the loft and watch a movie or something."

She internally scoffed that he actually thought she would want to do something that stupid, he really knew nothing about her. Or maybe she knew nothing about herself. Had she really changed that much? She was pathetic and she knew it. The old Blair Waldorf would have slapped him across the face for even mentioning going to Brooklyn and eating Chinese food. Maybe it was the trigger of his question or her internal response to his question, but something snapped inside of her. It was like someone had shot off fireworks or she had taken a vodka shot or heard a gunshot. She felt chills go up and down her spine, like lightening. Something inside her woke her up and for the first time she saw her boyfriend for who he was. He was just as pathetic as her. He was with her even though he knew she would never really love him. He saw her as an illusion. He saw only what he wanted to see. When he looked at her he saw a changed woman, someone that he had changed. Someone who had gone from Queen B to a kind, caring, intelligent woman, who saw him as her knight in shining armor. But in reality she had gone from Queen B to a weak, pathetic woman, who settled for someone she would never really love. She thought she could live with this, but she knew now that was a lie. She needed to change. She knew that at the end of this dark tunnel of self-loathing and pity the Queen B was still there. And she was ready to come out to play.

He broke her thought by pompously saying, "Blair did you hear what I said. I want to-"

She broke his thought off and when she turned to look at him there was a reawakened fire in her eyes, "Oh believe me Dan I heard you, but I ask you this why would I ever want to do that? Why would anyone want to do that?"

He recoiled as if she had slapped him and said, "Blair what are you talking about? This isn't like you."

She laughed bitterly and said, "Actually Dan this is exactly like me."

He looked at her and gazed blindly into her eyes and said, "This is like the old Blair, the one I hated, the one who let Chuck Bass screw her over."

Anger began to pulse through her and she violently said, "Let Chuck Bass screw me over are you serious? Chuck loved me, he still loves me. He gave up half his inheritance so I could be free, he put my happiness before his own, he gave me his blessing with not only Louis, but with you. He has done so much for me, how dare you say that to me."

His face colored as he deflected the truth in her statement and shot back with words meant to kill, "Blair are you forgetting that fact that he sold you for his hotel, he treated you like a dirty whore during high school, he countlessly tried to manipulate and hurt you for his own benefit of having you, he slept with my sister hours after almost proposing to you and as for loving you Chuck Bass may have told you he loved you, but clearly he doesn't know what the word means because as far as I see it he is incapable of love."

She gave him a look of death and she saw what he was trying to do. She saw his desperate and self-righteous attempts for her to see Chuck as he saw him. She saw how much he wanted her to hate Chuck. But she could never hate Chuck. It was a lie when she told herself everything she did wasn't for him; even being with Dan was her way of protecting both of them from each other. But she wasn't scared anymore, she was ready.

She scorned and with venom laced in her voice she viciously said, "Right Dan because I forgot you know everything as far as I know you have no idea how Chuck treated me in high school and believe me I manipulated and hurt him just as much maybe even more. And as for the hotel and what happened with Jenny I do not see how that is any of your concern considering it happened years ago and I forgave him on both counts. Also, you have no fucking idea how Chuck treats me when we are alone. Unlike you he makes me feel beautiful, special, and you would be incapable of understanding his love for me because you have never felt something like that before unless you count your teen bobber love with Serena as even remotely equivalent to Chuck and me."

His face contorted in an almost painful grimace and she knew what he was going to say before he said it, "What do you mean when you are alone? Are you still seeing him? I should have known you would never be faithful to me. You will always, always go back to being nothing more than Chuck Bass's whore."

She was furious, how dare he accuse her of that, after everything she did for him, everything she had given up for him and before she knew it she was shouting, "I cannot believe you would just assume I would go back to Chuck just because I am not satisfied with our relationship. I am better than that and to be perfectly honest I can do a lot better than the likes of you Dan Humphrey. Were done"

With all the strength he said the only thing he had left to say, "So you are just going to give up on us and go back to being with a man who will never love you and treat you like nothing more than a common whore?"

She gave him a look of utter disgust and retorted, "I would rather be his whore than your girlfriend. You know the way out."

And with that final slam in the coffin she turned on her heel and left the room, leaving behind a disheveled, shocked Dan Humphrey, and a room full of undisguised demons. As she stepped in to the elevator she began to smirk with satisfaction. The bitch was back.

A/N

Hi guys, so I absolutely despised how the writers completely destroyed Blair's character in season 5 and then without any rebuild made her the Blair from season 1 again. This story will be my take on how they should have had the Dan, Blair, Chuck love triangle go on. There will be lots of Dan smashing and probably lots of confrontation with that because I hate Dan. However, if I do not get much of a response to this story I will probably not continue, but if I do I promise this story will make all C&B fans very happy! Anyways please, please, please review your feedback, suggestions, ideas, and just if you want me to continue the story in general! Xoxo Kat