a/n: Ok I hate directly quoting from the book sometimes. Hope you don't mind my paraphrasing. This happened somewhere in Eclipse, when umm…Jake was in bed, while Bella was going to say she's choosing Edward. This is my first attempt of doing a fanfic assault on Bella through utilizing Blackwater. It isn't that nasty though, but hurtful enough.

"The KISSING DUMMY –Leah Clearwater

I phased wolf. Well, partly because I don't want to get caught sneaking up in Jake's room. HA! Freaking GUILTY HERE?! REMEMBER?! I am the one AT FAULT for putting Jake into such crappy shitty and undeniably undeserved JEOPARDY. I never felt as guilty as ever. Oh man! I AM SO DEAD! Sam's blaming me; Seth's shaking his puny little head at me. Embry just stopped crushing on me (I always catch him ogling over my body) and Quil suddenly became a friggin replica of Old Ateara –dimwit! While Paul and Jared wanted to throw me off to the Alaskan killer whales.

I snuck behind Billy's over grown weeded whatchamacallit bush. I was planning to phase human when I heard a noisy Chevy park in front of the doorway. That'd be no one else but the Swan girl. Yeah, I've ridden that junk a long time ago, the time Billy wasn't in a chair yet, the time it wasn't that stupid noisy. Well then, I just have to wait. Of course I know the real score between them, I mean who wouldn't? Talk about the WOLF BROADCASTING CHANNEL?! It goes something a little like this; Jake likes Bella, A LOT –'ala imprint style.' Bella likes leechy Eddie, but suddenly out of the blue, out of nowhere, and out of Eden after Jake KISSES her, she got HELL CONFUSED!

Now I am hearing Sam's alpha-moronic voice again. Leah, why are you still in wolf form? Where the hell are you?! After Sam said that a little memory of him smelling Emily's nape slipped out. DAMN IT!!! It was brief and plain MURDEROUS!!! I quickly shifted human just so to avoid Sam's sermonizing and backstabbing thoughts. I realized I accidentally got my clothes scattered around the lot.

The good thing was the laundry basket was just near the backyard back door; maybe I can borrow something from it, and finally be able to gather up my dispersed undies, et al. I found a shirt, wore it and then picked up my other paraphernalia.

And of course I could hear everything Bella and Jacob was talking about.

I wasn't furious at the Swan lake princess, but HECK she's like the center of vamp's and wolve's universe, I don't oppose it violently but…gosh can't she just make up her freaking mind?! She's been playing Jake for the longest time now, ever since Moz-ward left her. We all knew Jacob DROOLED wolf enzymes over her, but she just keep on…DOING THIS. Okay, well…that's based on my intelligent assessment the moment I turned into this sick gray wolf-itch. Jake can't simply pacify his colorful mind. So we are all well informed.

*Eavesdropping*

Now they were reaching the part where they're kind of talking about being soul mates, okay now they're onto some crying anthology, then uh… Jake's spills it again all over her…talking about love and being 'drugged', 'could have beens' stuff like that.

Jake's gonna really fall for her. Does the word 'fixation' ring a bell? Yeah, it's something like that. Those two doesn't really have a 'past' compared with me and…yeah, that guy. But the attachment kind of developed during Bella's needy stage; when her leech left her.

Hmm…okay now Bella's gonna HUUWWW-WHAAT?!!!! Oh my freaking god!!! She's more deranged than I thought she was!!! I felt myself tremble at the thought, we, specifically I DID NOT CHOOSE ANY OF THIS!? Normal was always better and this pot crack's wanting to be a full pledged vamp-freak?!

I heard Jake been silently taken aback as well. She's lucky to even have a choice! Sicko!

Okay enough commentary, I'm barging in, just for the pure fun of it. Jacob and I had our moments in swim class way back in middle school. I was a retard in swim class, so I asked Jake to kind of give me some 'tutorials.' And I gave him 'tutorials' too in return, as token of my appreciation; it has something to do with breathing and oral exercises. And he turned out to be a master.

I put my clothes on quietly. I don't want Billy catching me mid-covered. I walked around the house and aimed for the front door. Surprisingly I turned into some Karate chick these days; I can practically walk on any surface –soundless! I knocked on the door.

Billy's face looked like it has been braced with a straight jacket. I lowered my eyes as waves of guilt began flooding me again.

"Billy, I'm really sorry…about, about…y-you know, all these?"

He gave me a little reassuring smile. "Jacob's gonna be Jacob, guess he's going to be a good alpha someday, don't you think?"

Jake? An Alpha, but Sam…?

Ephraim's name hit me like a sandstorm. Of course, his grandpa was the last Alpha, Dad, once told me epics regarding that…hmm, Daddy.

"Yes, I guess he will." I agreed on Billy.

"Bella's still inside…you want to…?" I butted in Billy. "It's alright Billy, I'll wait by the door way, besides Chief Swan's daughter wouldn't be really staying to help up in Jake's recovery, would she?"

Sheesh! According to Jake's reliable account (and my eavesdropping), she's that head over heels over her vamp-Romeo.

"Mind if I 'nurse' around, so you wouldn't tire yourself too much?" I went on asking Billy.

"Of course Leah. Of course."

I stood by the doorway, hearing those impeccable I love you's. How can she say she loves Jake when I heard her say she's marrying the bloodsucker?! And how can she be so selfish and want him to STICK around (amidst all these talk-shit) and just TREAT him as her freaking best friend while our comrade drools over her in the process. She does feel like the sun in her own made up universe alright!

I heard the door being shoved open. I prepared to face her, the princess of Forks. "Leah!" She gasped. I heard Jake echo Bella's reaction. Did Jake loose his sense of smell too? Or was he that preoccupied?

"Yeah…well, I need to make up, for all the damage I caused." I responded bluntly. Bella run her eyes back on Jacob, I didn't know what she was thinking, but it looked like she suddenly didn't want to leave.

"You're leaving right? I just heard you say goodbye." I was helping Jake from further false-hope this ladah is giving him, trust me on this. "Lee!" I heard Jake use my nickname. The narrow hallway was a little dark, so she really couldn't see me. I on the other hand saw her crystal clear.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, with a hint of defensiveness.

What the?! How dare she act like she freaking owns the house. I see her wipe a stray tear.

"I know what I am doing here; I don't know WHY you are STILL HERE!? For all I know you're going to be one of them; and that you're just playing my friend for a fool!" I vented bitterly OUT. Ever since Sam DUMPED me, I knew I could take anyone down, anytime, anywhere!

"Leah Clearwater!" Jacob growled from his bed. Glad he can't pin me now. I am as free as a humming bird!

"No, Jake she's right." Bella suddenly gave in. Ugh! Why isn't she the feisty type of dudah? Bella slightly rolled her eyes on me and walked straight out of the house. Now I would have to face Jacob's FURY! I just thrashed on his beloved.

I went inside his room, feeling like a total ass. Of course he was ANGRY. But I kept my gaze straight.

"Leah, don't f*cking blame her."

"I wasn't, I was telling the truth." I defended.

Suddenly some odd reaction crossed his face. "Lee…" He said looking up, his breathing staggering. "WHAT?!" I was dying of curiosity.

"Why aren't you wearing a freaking bra?"

Wait!? I wasn't?!

I tried to discreetly feel my frontal humps. As my skin felt my protruded teat, I almost screamed out of shame. Though, I had to toughen up. I simply crossed my arms over them. "I just phased back and I am not an expert backpacker, okay?" I knew he wanted to command me out of his room, but he was too saintly to do so.

"So are you okay? I mean, I'm actually here to say I'm sorry. And that I'm willing to do anything just so you forgive me. I can take everybody's hate, but not the one who nearly got killed to save my ass out there."

"Did I just hear you right? You said you're willing to do anything?"

I suddenly feared his tone. I gulped. "Pretty much like that." I am so regretting this. His cheek got pink.

"Nevermind." He then muttered.

"What?" I insisted he tell me.

"It's wrong. And hey, I really would save you, coz no one ever would." The last line came out as a whisper. Ouch –was I too much of an ogre?! I sat on the couch near his bed. Was he really blushing or was that a residue from this recent talk he had with Bella?

"Tell me Jake." I asked calmly, calm always worked. "Like I said, it's wrong." He blurted out averting from my curious eyes. I felt the urge to tug the collar of his shirt, and so I tugged it as lightly as I can. "Jacob Black, just tell me, so I wouldn't be suffering nightmares on guilt tonight!" Suffering is naturally unavoidable, but feeling guilty ISN'T my cup of tea.

"Okay-okay! It's just a random wicked thing that crossed my mind. Don't break my bones I just had them fixed. I was thinking if you could be my kissing 'dummy'"

"KISSING? DUMMY? Like a ragdoll?" I repeated dumbfounded.

He awkwardly nodded.

There's really nothing to lose, I am a bitch with no future at all, might as well enjoy the present. I slowly sat on the bed pulling my shirt off exposing my chests, his face flushed red. "I could be your kissing 'dummy' and a little more werewolf Black…" After saying that I felt his warm arms around my waist, I had to hover since he can't really move too much. His embrace got tighter.

"Jake, show me your anger!" I whispered heated through his ear, blowing hot wind to it. I pressed my chests on his skin. I began feeling his feverish breathe surround me. "Don't suppress it Black!" I moaned as his hands found my teats. He frolicked on it gradually. "Harder Jakey, harder!" I almost cried feeling his strong measured kneading on my massive frontals. I brought my whole body on his bed, careful not to hit his newly positioned bones. He grabbed my hair eager to have me. "I missed this Leah!" He heaved ready to bring this further. He crashed his hungry lips against mine, tasting all my flavors inside, my heat intensified.

I want so much to have my legs around his hips, my pelvis feeling his abs, but well…I should just do some improvising. He ran his thick palms back and forth on my willing thighs. I drank all the fluid oozing out from his mouth. "How much do you hate me for thrashing on Bella?" I paused, momentarily pulling away.

"What?" He questioned me incredulously.

"How much do you hate me for thrashing on Bella?" I repeated impatiently now. "A whole lot like HELL." He breathed. "Then give me HELL Jacob!" I pulled his head down so it'd reach my bouncing peaches.

He began sucking my tips and biting them gently and intensely. The notion emitted a mixture of indescribable pain and pleasure.

Eventually I let him eat me whole.

I wasn't sure if I was just imagining things, but it was only at around this minute did I hear the Chevy ignite to life and leave the grounds.

***Fin***

a/n: I'm telling you what inspired this post...after Bella said her goodbyes and I LOVE YOUS TO JACOB, she just wanted to be in bed with Eddie on the next chap, go and check. So to play a fair score...Jake goes to Leah.