"Ghost of You"

In which Mello tries to cope with Matt's absence. Takes place two months after Matt's death. Somewhat AU since, you know, Matt and Mello actually died on the same day. Songfic based on "Ghost of You" by Good Charlotte.

A/N: I wrote this earlier today. I found a video a while back on Youtube with this song that was basically just a slideshow of MxM pics and thought that this song fit them. So I finally got around to writing this. I do not own Death Note or the song. If I owned Death Note, Matt, Mello, and L would not have died. But alas, they did...T.T

Also, the italicized/bold text is lyrics to the song. Just italicized quotes is Matt speaking to Mello (kind of...you'll understand when you get there)

I give credit to blackcatmidnight13 on Youtube. They made the video I mentioned. You should go watch it. It's awesome. Yeah.

Anyways, please enjoy my fanfiction, and review.

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"...I will save this empty space, next to me like it's a grave..."

I sit up in our--rather, my bed, on the left side. Matt always slept on the right. Even though it's been two months since his death--which I saw vividly on that TV screen--I still find myself waiting for him. So I scoot over, leaving his space free, only to silently cry myself to sleep every night knowing he'll never come.

"...I have been searching for traces of what we were..."

I can't sleep. I've washed these damn sheets several times, yet his unmistakable scent still permeates the room. I find myself looking over in hopes of seeing his familiar green eyes penetrating mine, but I see no one. Only his goggles hanging from the bedpost. Sometimes I wear them, or his vest, around the house, just to feel closer to him even if he's not here. I pull his old PSP out of the nightstand drawer and play it until the tears obstruct my vision too much to continue.

"...I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me..."

"Mello...Mello..." I hear Matt's voice clearly in my head. Then I see him. He's...alive?

"Matt...but you..."

"I know. But really, I'm okay. I'd never leave you, Mels. You know that."

"But...you were--I saw you get--"

"No, Mello, I wasn't killed. It was a dream. You were dreaming..."

"D--dreaming?" I ask in disbelief. I can feel my heart pounding.

"Yes, Mello."

"So...you're still here...with me?"

"Yes. And Mello?"

"Yes, Matt?"

"I..."

"You...what?"

"I...love--"

A sudden crash of thunder wakes me up. I look next to me to see again that I'm the only one occupying this bed.

...I guess I was dreaming...

"...So here I am, pacing around this house again, with pictures of us living on these walls. I see my breath in the cold of the air that I breathe and I'm wondering, I'm wondering if it's you that I feel, if it's you that I feel here haunting me forever..."

I need to clear my head. I get out of bed and start pacing the halls. I see pictures lining the walls. Pictures of Matt and me from our days at Wammy's. Pictures from our first official date--I smile fondly at one in particular of him with that adorable grin on his face, trying to put his goggles on me. And there are pictures of us just doing nothing at all. Just us being in love...

I've gotta get out of this place. Fresh air. That's what I need. I head for the front door and get my coat off of the rack, then put my boots on and head out.

It's unusually cold tonight. Probably because of the rain. And it's quiet. Yes, I know it's like one in the morning, of course it's quiet. But I mean unnaturally quiet, even for this time of night. I put my hood up to block out the cold and the rain. I can see my breath, it's so damn cold.

Also, despite the eerie silence, I can't help but feel as if I'm being followed. But the only footsteps I hear are my own...and the sounds I keep hearing is just the wind and rain...right?

"Of course it is. Get a hold of yourself, Mel, jeez..."

Who said that? I turn around and see...no one. Big surprise.

But I could've sworn it sounded like--

"Mello."

--Matt's voice...

"Mello..."

Holy...that is his voice. He's hiding. I can even smell cigarettes...faintly, but the tobacco scent is there.

"Mello..."

"What?!" I shout, surprised at myself. "Matt, where are you? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"Go back home, Mello."

"No, all right? I'm not going anywhere 'til you come out of hiding! Matt, show yourself! I'm going crazy without you! Come back home, Matt...please..."

"Mels, you need to rest. Go back home. Have some chocolate, go to bed. You've been thinking too much."

"Matt, baby, please! I've gotta see you...come out..." Tears are streaming down my face and my throat is scratchy from yelling.

"I can't. Listen, it hurts me to see you like this. Go home and rest. For me, Mello."

"I--but--okay..." I say, wiping my eyes. "For you."

"Thank you. I love you, Mello..." the voice says, a little quieter.

"...I love you too, Matty," I say, sniffling. I don't get a response this time, so I head home.

When I get back to my apartment, I go into the kitchen and am surprised to see a chocolate bar lying, unopened, on the counter. Assuming I must have left it there last night, I shrug and pick it up. But there's a note underneath it. In Matt's writing.

'For you, Mel. Love you.'

What...the hell? No, it can't be...

No...ghosts aren't real...it's all in my head, I tell myself as I lie down in bed. They're not real...

"Goodnight, Mello."

...Are they?