Disclaimer: This is a comedic work of fiction and as such the reader is asked not to think too hard about some of the plausibility of the following events, or where this story can place chronologically. Standard Samurai Warriors Time (and all it entails) applies.

Publish Date: Sept. 27th

The Runaround

As Lady Nene's lecture drew to a close, I became distinctly aware of the various glares in my direction and the complete loss of circulation in my legs. It hadn't even been that long since we were brought in, and yet despite my being accustomed to sitting still for long periods of time, I found myself struggling not to squirm, lest Lady Nene fix me with another glare.

Beside me on the left, Mitsunari was completely still, but his anger radiated in waves and I knew that as soon as he was given permission to speak, he wouldn't hold back. On my right, Masanori was shaking in either fear or remorse. Well, good. He was the direct cause of this whole problem, and I had a few choice words for him myself.

On my far right, by the door, I could see Hanbei, still refusing to face anyone and grumbling under his breath. I suppose he had a right to be mad. The evidence had piled on pretty high, and that incident left things unresolved, but my sympathy for him had dried up right around the time he tried to leave us to the proverbial wolves. Had Kanbei not (correctly) deduced that he was the true mastermind behind the day's events, Lady Nene would have obliviously let him go wreak more havoc on unsuspecting bystanders.

As it were though, he spent the whole lecture muttering, barely acknowledging Lady Nene at all. The whole thing would have been rather unsettling, but I was too tired and sore to really care anymore. My only thought about it was that his behavior was rude to Lady Nene, but she either didn't notice or didn't care.

"Of all the idiotic, dangerous…" she yelled, "What were you boys thinking?"

In our—mine and Mitsunari's that is, defense, we did try to stop it. But at that point things had already been out of our control.

Hmm, perhaps we were lucky that Lady Nene caught us when she did. And that the gaping hole in the roof was the only damage done in the end.

"For the last time, I had nothing to do with this!" Mitsunari snapped once again. His words held only a grain of truth though. It had been him who directed us to Masanori, after all.

"Lady Nene, please forgive me," Masanori begged, thoroughly cowed. Admittedly, I pitied him. He may have been the idiot who brought the roof down, but he wasn't really the one to blame. The one to blame had finally stopped grumbling only to engage in a glaring match with his keeper. Lady Nene and Hanzo (the final member of this interrogation panel) briefly exchanged glances, and decided to just let them keep going at it for now.

But this, in turn, brought their attention down on me. "Kiyomasa, what happened?" Lady Nene demanded, her eyes narrowed and her hands on her hips.

I suppose I was probably the best man for explaining this mess. I had been involved from the beginning, and though I will assert my innocence at the actual events that unfolded (for I was being forcefully strung along by a rather pushy strategist), I suppose the heart of this incident lied with a few poorly timed comments on my part.

"Yes, Lady Nene, you see…"

It all started when I decided to ask Hanbei for some advice.

There was a matter that had been weighing heavily on my mind for a few days, and I had finally gathered the nerve to voice those concerns and possibly find some way to resolve them.

Ideally, I would have gone to Lady Nene or Lord Hideyoshi with this, but given the nature of the subject, I thought it best to ask a neutral third party—one who wouldn't call me a nosy fool or yell at me for wasting his time. Hanbei was really the only one who fit that description.

I had learned from Kanbei that he was resting in his room for the day, and this almost deterred me from my visit (in hindsight, I wish it had). We all knew that Hanbei, for all his brilliance, wasn't in the best of health these days and the last thing I wanted was to cause him undue stress. But to my surprise, I found him very energetic and quite welcoming for company.

"Hey there, Kiyomasa, come on in," he looked up from his book and beckoned me over. I sat down across from him. I thought it fortunate that he was alone in the room when I found him. It spared me the trouble of asking him if we could speak in private.

I didn't think it proper to just spring my worries onto him though, so I began with, "I just thought I would check in. How are you feeling?" I thought it was a nice safe topic to begin with. First make sure he is willing to discuss anything, and then get to the point.

But this was Hanbei I was dealing with. As soon as I said those words, his smirk grew.

"It's not often you come to visit me. What can I do for you?" I suppose he already had some semblance of what I wanted. I realized long ago that Hanbei always had an idea of what you were going to say before you yourself did. It was one of those disconcerting things that made you feel as though he was always analyzing every little thing you did, but at the same time, it was somewhat welcoming. It meant that even if I couldn't find the right words to say, he would.

"Very well," I sighed, "Have you spoken to Lord Hideyoshi recently?"

"Kiyomasa, I speak to Lord Hideyoshi almost every day," he retorted, "Could you be a little more specific?" I supposed that would have been fair, but I was struggling to find the words.

"Right then. Has Lord Hideyoshi's demeanor these past few days seemed different to you?" I was referring of course to his unusually good mood as of late. While Lord Hideyoshi was always rather spirited, the past few days practically had him singing from the rooftops, and bouncing off the walls with mirth. I don't want to sound like I don't enjoy seeing my Lord so happy, but I couldn't think of any occasion that would warrant such celebration. In fact, when I naively asked my Lord about it, he nervously dodged the question and reminded me of how fleeting peaceful moments are. It's true that things had been fairly quiet around here lately and such moments of peace were a rare treasure in these turbulent times but…

I hate to admit it, but the whole thing had gone and made me suspicious.

"I can't really say I haven't noticed anything," Hanbei shrugged, "But I don't really know what goes on outside the staff quarters, and it's not really my place to question Lord Hideyoshi." Hanbei like to use a lot of words but in essence, he was agreeing with me. "You seem to have some idea of what's going on, right?"

"N-not really," I stammered, "But…I have a slight suspicion." I took a deep breath before continuing, "I think Lord Hideyoshi may have met someone." It felt really good to finally say it. I love and respect Lord Hideyoshi with all my heart, but this was one matter that made me extremely bitter. Lord Hideyoshi's wife was the kindest, most devoted soul in the world, and it really broke my heart to see her left behind while he ran off with other women.

This kind of thing happened regularly, unfortunately. Lord Hideyoshi wasn't particularly good at hiding his affairs, but lately it felt like he was getting better at sneaking around. At any rate, it had been a while since Lady Nene last caught him with another girl, so the timing for such a thing did feel right.

Hanbei just frowned and sighed. "Kiyomasa, you know this really isn't any of your business." This was the answer I was used to hearing. Usually it involved more yelling (from Mitsunari) or lamenting (from Masanori), but otherwise it was the same old same old.

But there was a reason I had come to Hanbei about this. I wasn't going to give up so easily.

"But can't you do something about this?" I asked, "Lord Hideyoshi listens to you more than any of us." Hanbei really undervalued his role in our outfit. I really believed that if anyone could reach out to Lord Hideyoshi—and make him listen, it would be him. "Think of Lady Nene's feelings!"

"Kiyomasa, I'm just a strategist," Hanbei reminded me sympathetically, "I'm not going to tell you that Lord Hideyoshi's philandering doesn't bother me, but there's really nothing I can do about it." His blunt tone left no more room for arguing. I knew it was time to give up on this.

Had I chosen to leave at that moment, the matter would have been put to rest then and there, and the events culminating to the hole in the roof would never have happened. I had been ready to leave, ready to apologize to Hanbei for wasting his time, and ready to move on from this matter to do my usual job of comforting Lady Nene should the need arise.

So why didn't I leave?

It was simple. At that moment, someone unexpected appeared.

"Hanbei? I've brought you some lunch. Can I come in?" I knew that voice anywhere, and for a moment I started to panic, wondering how much of our conversation she had heard.

Hanbei was completely oblivious to my distress. "Of course, my Lady. Come on in," he called out cheerfully. I sat there frozen as Lady Nene, slid the door open and brought a small tray of food inside. She looked just as surprised to see me, but her confusion quickly melted into a warm smile.

"Oh, hi there Kiyomasa, what brings you here?" she asked me cheerfully. To my relief, Hanbei answered immediately.

"Kiyomasa just came by to keep me company for a bit," he told her smoothly, "He wanted to get some of my sagely advice, while I was still willing to give it." He laughed as if it was some sort of inside joke. I suppose it wasn't a complete lie, but I could only stand there gaping at his silver tongue.

"That's very nice of you Kiyomasa," Nene said and started patting my head affectionately. I suppose Hanbei's lies had their merits. "But don't stay too long. Hanbei, you really do need your rest you know."

"Of course, of course," Hanbei agreed absently. He sounded carefree, but this probably a routine response by now. "Thank you for the food, Lady Nene."

"Of course," she said with a smile, before sternly adding, "Do try to eat as much as you can. You've gotten so thin; you're practically spilling out of your clothes. And you'd better finish the tea."

"Don't worry, I'm feeling a lot better today," he assured her calmly. Hearing this conversation made me feel awkward, and I really ought to have excused myself. But at that point, it had taken root, and I couldn't leave without clearing a few things up first.

"Alright. Let me know if you want seconds. There's plenty of food left," Nene told him, before standing up. "See you later Hanbei. Bye Kiyomasa." She left after that as we said our goodbyes to her.

As soon as she was gone, I let out the breath I'd been holding. I hadn't expected Lady Nene to show up when she did, and there was a very valid reason for that. In fact that reason was what started everything. This was one abysmally timed observation that I should never have voiced.

"Hanbei." I asked somewhat coldly.

"Hmm?" He wasn't paying attention to me anymore, focusing solely on the tray of food before him. (And by focusing, I mean absently poking the rice with his chopsticks, showing no interest in actually eating it, but that was beside the point right now.)

"Does Lady Nene always bring you lunch like this?"

Hanbei just gave me a strange look, something that was a mix of disbelief and amusement. "Why, are you jealous?" he finally asked, teasingly.

"Don't be ridiculous!" I exclaimed, though I immediately regretted the outburst. Hanbei had done nothing to deserve such rudeness (not yet anyway). "I am simply curious."

"I'll bet," he muttered just loud enough for me to hear, and sipped the tea Lady Nene brought. (The bitter look on his face quickly revealed that the drink was not in fact tea.) He drank about half of it before answering me again, something I had no choice but to wait patiently for.

"Look Kiyomasa," he began, "I think you of all people should know how motherly Lady Nene can be. I never asked her to do any of this, but she insists on it anyway. If you have a problem with it, take it up with her, not me." I didn't really have a problem with it. Lady Nene's kindness was as vast and boundless as the skies, and it was good to know that Hanbei was being taken care of.

The problem lay elsewhere.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't Lady Oyu arrived at the castle recently?" At the mention of his younger sister's name, Hanbei's eyes narrowed, and I knew that I had his undivided attention.

"She has." He replied curtly.

"And isn't she usually the one to take care of you when she's here?" Before our last move, Oyu had her own living space in the castle so she could stay by her brother's side. But since the battles had intensified, Hanbei had left her behind in the capital and now she only dropped by every now and again, if things were relatively peaceful, or if her brother called for her. I've never spoken to the girl personally, but I knew that whenever she was around, she followed her brother like a tail. I hadn't thought anything of it when I found Hanbei alone, but now…

For her not to be at his side…

"Do you have a point to this, Kiyomasa?" It needs to be said that Hanbei is very close to his sister, and has a bit of an overprotective streak when it comes to her. Even mentioning her in his earshot is enough to put him on alert. I suppose I could relate to such feelings, and considering what happened next, it was really a shame I didn't realize it earlier. If someone had implied something like this about Lady Nene, I probably would have smashed that roof in myself. At any rate, Hanbei watched me closely, just challenging me to say it.

…I shouldn't have said it. I really, really shouldn't have said it.

"It's pretty strange not to see her with you. And come to think of it, Lord Hideyoshi's exceptionally good mood does coincide with her arrival…" He could see where I was going with this, if his loosing several shades of color was any indication.

"Kiyomasa."

"Yes?"

"Why would you even suggest something like that?"

"I'm not suggesting anything. It's merely an observation."

"Well then keep those observations to yourself. Ugh, that was one mental image I really didn't need!" Hanbei shuddered and went back to poking his food.

Looking back, I had so many opportunities to avert this incident. This moment may have well been another one that I'd completely missed.

"So what has Lady Oyu been up to these days?" I asked.

"Who knows," Hanbei's response was quick and exasperated, "My sister's life is her own, and this is her first time in this area. She can do what she wants."

"That's unusual coming from you. You haven't even asked her?"

Hanbei rolled his eyes. "Look, I see what you're trying to do, and it isn't working. But if you must know, my sister doesn't keep secrets from me. So even if she won't tell me exactly what she does during the day, I know that it's nothing I need to worry about." Somehow all I got out of that answer was "She won't tell me anything". And then I got the distinct impression that Hanbei was the type of guy who'd analyze everyone else's words to hell and back, but blindly accept anything out of little sister's mouth.

"Well if it's nothing you need to worry about, that means she's in high spirits, right?"

"Of course."

"Hmm…" I let silence envelop the room before nonchalantly adding, "Lord Hideyoshi is in pretty high spirits too."

My timing for that remark could have been better. Hanbei choked on his tea as soon as the words left my mouth, and by the time he recovered, his smile was twitching dangerously.

"Alright, that does it." He hissed and stood up. "Let's go."

"Huh?"

"We're going to find out what Lord Hideyoshi's been up to."

"Really?"

"Oh don't act all innocent now. You're the one losing sleep over this. This is what you wanted, right?" He grabbed his cup, and quickly finished the contents in a few large gulps, visibly shuddering at the bitter taste.

"I guess but…" I was finally starting to have second thoughts about asking Hanbei for advice. "Um, what about lunch? Lady Nene put her heart and soul into making it for you."

"I'm not hungry," he grimaced, "Thanks to you and your observations, I don't think I'll ever eat again." I probably deserved that. This was exactly the kind of undue stress I'd been trying to avoid.

In the end, I was left with no choice but to follow him.

"Kanbei, where's Oyu?"

I should probably point out that despite what he said; Hanbei wasn't so much interested in what Lord Hideyoshi was up to as he was determined to prove that, whatever it was, his sister had absolutely nothing to do with it. At this point though, he was still fairly amicable, and anyone who wasn't aware of what I'd just suggested, would have likely dismissed him as being his usual eccentric self. (Myself included. I really had no idea that things would end up the way they did.)

Kanbei, however, was not "anyone". His reaction to Hanbei, barging into the workplace (without so much as a knock or a "Can I come in?") was to turn around, stare at Hanbei for a few moments, turn to me with an unimpressed look, and then turn back to Hanbei and say,

"What are you doing here? Go back to sleep."

"I can't sleep," Hanbei snapped, "Too many unpleasant images in my head. Where's Oyu?"

"If you can't sleep, then there are plenty of things to do here. You can start over there." He gestured to a pile of scrolls on one of the tables, much to Hanbei's increasing frustration. I didn't dare laugh.

"Lord Kanbeeeeei," Hanbei whined, "We can do this later. Where is my sister?"

Finally, that question went through to him. "How am I supposed to know?" he answered sharply. It was something I wondered as well. Hanbei had refused to tell me anything after dragging me out of his room, including where we were going. It was only after we had reached this hallway that I realized he was going to the staff room.

"Lord Kanbei, this is important," Hanbei remarked, his voice a lot calmer, "If you have any idea where my cute little sister is, and you're not telling me—

"Again, I don't know anything. Why are you even bothering me with this?" He looked in my direction again, likely wanting me to explain this. I would have, had Hanbei given me an opportunity to speak.

"Alright, alright, I trust you wouldn't keep something so important from me," he said, "Do you know where Lord Hideyoshi is at least?"

"No, I don't."

Hanbei clicked his tongue in frustration. "What do you know then?"

"Why do you think I know anything? What are you even doing here?"

"Lord Hideyoshi has been acting strangely lately and Little Kiyomasa here thinks he's having another affair." Hanbei explained quickly, leaving out the all-important detail of whom I taught he was having the affair with.

Kanbei's frown grew. "This isn't something for you to meddle with," he parroted the all too familiar response.

"It is if my sister's involved," Hanbei retorted and for a brief moment, I taught I saw Kanbei's eyes widen. Hanbei likely caught it too. I don't know how to explain it, but it didn't seem like Kanbei was reacting to the idea of Hanbei's sister with Lord Hideyoshi, but rather to Hanbei mentioning the two of them together at all. His face darkened.

"Hanbei, you—

"It's pretty silly, isn't it? And normally, I wouldn't believe something so ridiculous even for a minute, but Oyu has been acting very secretive and giggly herself lately. And she's been going out on her own instead of spending time with the brother she hasn't seen in months. But it's nothing I should be worried about, right?"

It should be noted that from my position, I could not see Hanbei's face, only the back of his head; but I was certain that he had dropped all pretense of being cheerful and carefree. There wasn't much that could rattle Kuroda Kanbei, but whatever look Hanbei was giving him was visibly making him uncomfortable. I felt the temperature drop a few notches myself and could only look on at the display in stunned silence.

Finally Kanbei sighed. "Very well, if you must know, your sister was here a few hours ago."

"Oh?" Hanbei folded his hands across the back of his head.

"She came in to let me know that she was going into town."

"And you didn't say so in the first place because…" Hanbei grumbled.

"You asked me where she was, and I don't know the answer to that. She never tells me where she goes or what she does. It doesn't interest me."

"I'll bet," he scowled. Kanbei simply shrugged.

"I do not know anything about Lord Hideyoshi's affairs either. If you suspect him to be meeting with someone in secret, you should be questioning Ishida, not me." At the mention of Mitsunari's name, I straightened up.

Hanbei considered this and turned to me, grinning. "You're right," he said thoughtfully, "Of course. Mitsunari would definitely know. Thanks, Lord Kanbei. Let's go, Kiyomasa." He went on ahead, leaving me to nod politely at Kanbei before going after him.

Before I left though, Kanbei suddenly called out to me. "Kiyomasa. I had been informed a short while ago that an important guest has taken up residence in the East Wing. Make sure they are not disturbed." He went back to his work after that, not waiting for my response.

I hadn't heard about us expecting any important guests, but before I could question him, Hanbei called my name (rather impatiently, I might add), so I went on after him, the whole business with the guest temporarily slipping my mind.

We found Mitsunari wandering the halls, quietly reading some sort of reports to himself as he walked. Hanbei wasted no time running up to him, cheerfully drawing his attention away from his work. His smile made for an amusing contrast to Mitsunari's irritated face, but I couldn't help but be a little wary.

Kanbei had suggested we talk to him for a reason. The reason being that if anyone wanted to catch up on any sort of gossip, they only had to grill Mitsunari for a few moments before certain tidbits became apparent (even if he didn't outright say anything).

Mitsunari's role around here was that of an administrative officer, so he mainly handled written correspondences. But there were also some unsavory rumors that he helped Lord Hideyoshi sneak around here and there. Personally, I preferred not to believe those rumors (because I'd rather not doubt a friend, or accept that he would go behind Lady Nene's back in such a way), but I couldn't deny their existence. Mitsunari was probably closer to Lord Hideyoshi than any of us. If anyone would know what he'd been up to, it would be him.

"Lord Hanbei," Mitsunari regarded him warily, "What are you doing here?" He looked at me as I came up behind Hanbei. "And Kiyomasa?"

"Hey, Mitsunari," I greeted him, eager to get the first word in this time, "It's a long story. Do you know where we might find Lord Hideyoshi?"

"No, I haven't seen him today," he replied curtly. I wish I could say that was the end of that, but as you already know, Mitsunari wound up very involved in this mess.

"That's fine," Hanbei told him, "Do you know where Oyu's gone off too?"

"Your sister?" he frowned, "That woman should not be wandering around the castle freely. You need to keep a better eye on her."

"Mitsunari, don't be rude," I warned him, but Hanbei held up a hand to stop me.

"No it's alright. It's my bad," he admitted, "Lord Kanbei told me she left the castle some time ago. I was probably asleep when that happened."

"Then why don't you bother him about this?"

"We already did," I admitted sheepishly.

"Lord Kanbei is useless when it comes to these kinds of things," Hanbei explained, "He's the kind of guy who won't ask any unnecessary questions, as he calls them. Which means that Oyu can just cheerfully tell him she's leaving and he won't bat an eye about it, even though he knows he has a sworn duty as my best friend to keep me informed about my little sister's clandestine activities." He was still smiling but there was no hiding the bitterness in his voice.

Mitsunari frowned. "You think your sister has been sneaking out?" I'll admit (begrudgingly) that Mitsunari is a lot smarter than me when it comes to these things, for I had yet to reach that conclusion. I was once again locked out of the conversation.

"I don't think, I know," Hanbei replied huffily, "Oyu is too considerate to wake me up to tell me she wants to go into town, so if she wanted to leave, she could simply tell Lord Kanbei who wouldn't ask any questions and simply pass along the message to me should I ask. I say "should I ask" because his words made it clear that this isn't the first time she's done this, yet it's the first I'm hearing of it. Never mind how many hoops I had to jump through just to get him to mention it. Which means that every time she's gone out, I was asleep."

"How is that suspicious? All you ever do is sleep!" Mitsunari snapped.

"Mitsunari!" I frowned at him. To his credit, he realized he'd gone too far with that comment and mumbled out a quick apology.

"That's mean," Hanbei agreed, but it didn't sound like he really cared, "I agree that once or twice is no big deal, but every time? If she'd ask me directly, it's not like I'd say no or anything. She can do what she wants. But I would ask questions or offer to accompany her, and I get the distinct impression that this is exactly what she wanted to avoid."

"How so?"

"Why else would she go to Lord Kanbei of all people? She knows she can't leave without telling anyone but why not tell Lady Nene or some nearby retainer?"

"Because they'd pass along the message," Mitsunari agreed thoughtfully, "I can see your point, but what does any of that have to do with me?"

"Ah well, that's Kiyomasa's story to tell, not mine," he shrugged and turned over Mitsunari's attention to me, "Go ahead."

For a moment, I was at a loss for words. I do not consider myself a shy person, and I've never had any trouble speaking my mind, but I do not possess Hanbei's level of charisma. He can sway a conversation in whatever direction he needs, while I would inevitably earn Mitsunari's ire just by mentioning Lord Hideyoshi's nighttime activities again.

That little traitor.

"Mitsunari," I began calmly, already seeing his irritation, "I'm just going to be straight with you. Do you have any idea what Lord Hideyoshi's been doing these past few days?"

"Lord Hideyoshi is a busy man, Kiyomasa," he replied immediately, "Could you be more specific?"

"Yeah, you need to work on that," Hanbei chimed in unhelpfully.

"I'm sure you of all people have noticed how unusually…happy he's been," the more I said it, the more awkward it sounded. It's not like I didn't want Lord Hideyoshi to be happy. And excessive joy wasn't a crime or even a bad thing.

Mitsunari just gave me an odd look, and Hanbei rolled his eyes.

"Oh for the love of—Mitsunari, Kiyomasa thinks Lord Hideyoshi's up to his old tricks again. Got any juicy info for us?" I think I understood why Hanbei wanted me to explain. He wanted to soften his latest victim up before casually springing such a line on him. It worked well. Mitsunari turned a bright shade of red, and tightened his grip on his reports.

"W-what are—what are you fools talking about!" he demanded angrily, his glare directed straight at me. "Lord Hideyoshi's personal life is none of your business. How dare you waste my time with this nonsense!" And that was the standard Mitsunari response I was used to hearing.

Although given what happened next, I suppose it wasn't so standard.

"Hmm," Hanbei frowned, "You're right. This is a waste of my time. Let's go Kiyomasa. He doesn't know anything." He walked right past me.

"How are you so certain?" I asked him. Mitsunari was silently fuming.

"I'm good at reading people," Hanbei shrugged not even looking back, "Hmm, now I'm actually curious; what could Lord Hideyoshi be doing that he won't even tell Little Mitsunari about? The plot just thickens."

He continued walking, chuckling to himself, and I was about to follow him Mitsunari suddenly called out, "Hold on." Hanbei stopped and put on the most innocent look he could.

"I…I don't know if this is about an affair," Mitsunari paused, "But a few days ago, Lord Hideyoshi asked me if I knew of any good tailor shops in town."

"Tailor shops?" I repeated confused. Hanbei bounded over to us.

"I suppose he could be wanting to give a special lady a special present," Hanbei considered this carefully but then shook his head, "No. There are too many reasons a man might inquire into a tailor's to call that definitive proof. Mitsunari, what did you tell him?"

"It is regrettable, but I don't know this area too well," he stated. I agreed. Mitsunari could stand to go out with the rest of us once in a while. "But I recalled that Masanori had needed new clothes recently, so I directed Lord Hideyoshi to him." As I remembered that incident, I sighed. Masanori was a good guy…but he really was a fool to end all fools.

Hanbei smirked. "Masanori is just the type of guy to ask lots of useful questions. Do you know where I could find him?"

"At this hour, he's probably training in the courtyard," I told him.

"Or that fool's already completely wasted somewhere," Mitsunari added under his breath.

"Right then, let's go you two."

"Why two? I'm busy," Mitsunari scowled. I wanted to tell him to just give up and accept his fate while Hanbei was still in a relatively good mood, but it was too late.

"What do you mean "why"? Don't you want to know what Lord Hideyoshi's hiding from you?"

"What makes you think he's hiding anything? Leave me out of this foolishness."

"Okay…"

Mitsunari wound up joining us after a few more comments from Hanbei. Let it be known that Hanbei's talent at manipulating people is not to be taken lightly and I am very glad he's on our side. That said, it doesn't really take much to sway Mitsunari. He may be stubborn and overly logical, but that only means that someone (like Hanbei) could poke just enough holes in his reasoning to break his reasoning completely…

"Don't think I'm coming along because I agree with you! I'll prove to you that Lord Hideyoshi isn't hiding anything," he reminded us again, "Especially that he's not hiding another woman."

Let's just say those unsavory rumors had a little too much merit to them…and that Mitsunari actually took some sort of twisted pride in them.

Anyway, Masanori was right where I said he would be which made questioning him a lot easier. At least sober Masanori had some brain to mouth filter.

"Sure, I told the old man," Masanori laughed, "He was very grateful to me too. I bet he's met some pretty little lass somewhere and wants to shower her with expensive gifts." That brain to mouth filter of his could use some fine-tuning though. That was the very answer none of us wanted to hear.

"Ridiculous." Mitsunari grumbled, "Did he tell you that?"

"Sure did," Masanori replied proudly, "Lord Hideyoshi was acting reeeeal secretive about the whole thing, and when I asked him if it was for a girl, he laughed and said "something like that"."

"Something like that is not a confirmation." Mitsunari retorted.

"Whatever, Big Head. You're just jealous Lord Hideyoshi didn't come to you first."

"He did come to me first," Mitsunari snapped and I quickly had to step in between them to keep either of them from taking a swing.

"Both of you, settle down," I yelled, "Hanbei, what do you think?" Hanbei had grown very quiet at this point, and with his despondent expression and loose clothing, he looked like a lost little kid. Seeing him like this was worrying but looking back, this may have very well been the point where his level-headedness and common sense flew the coop.

"Hey Masanori, you haven't seen my sister today, have you?" he asked, almost desperately.

"Your sister…her name's Oyu, right? Nope, haven't seen her," Masanori suddenly lit up, "Hey, you think she's the girl Lord Hideyoshi is—

"Don't say it." Mitsunari said.

"Please." I added. Masanori's hidden talent is being hyper observant in situations you really don't want him being hyper observant in. Any reasonably good observation on his part is guaranteed to make a bad situation so much worse.

"Lady Oyu is certainly something though," he mused out loud, "I wouldn't mind having a sweet girl like her—

"Masanori, I've already been scarred for life once today. Please shut up." Hanbei said sharply, rubbing his temples. "None of this proves anything. Even if there is a girl, it's not necessarily Oyu."

"If she's been sneaking out though, could it be to go to fittings?" Mitsunari wondered.

"No, if Lord Hideyoshi wanted to get her a yukata, he'd just need to give the tailors her height," I explained quietly.

"Woah, woah, hold on," Masanori yelled, "Little Sis has been sneaking out?"

"She has not been sneaking out," Hanbei pouted, "She has merely been leaving at times when I was otherwise engaged and only telling a certain someone who doesn't ask questions or bothers to pass along such important messages."

"Huh, I don't know, that does a bit sneaky to me." This time I let Mitsunari smack him. As Masanori rubbed his injured head, Mitsunari turned to Hanbei.

"What are you going to do if there is something between them, anyway?" he asked, and admittedly it was something I'd been wondering about myself. Hanbei had been very determined to prove the contrary so I doubted he would accept learning he was wrong so easily. It was easy to say that Lord Hideyoshi's affairs were none of his business or that his sister could make her own decisions, but it was another to actually have it stare him in the face.

"I don't want to think about it until I know for certain," Hanbei admitted, "Right now, all I know is that Lord Hideyoshi and Oyu are both hiding something, and I'd like to think those things are completely unrelated."

"Is there any reason for you to think otherwise? What's the relationship between those two anyway?" Mitsunari pressed. I couldn't tell if he was being sympathetic or trying to further his own knowledge. He sounded as impatient as always at any rate.

"I wouldn't call them close, but Lord Hideyoshi is probably the only person besides me whom Oyu can talk to around here," Hanbei sighed, "Lord Hideyoshi's pretty fond of her at any rate, but with the way women cluster around his bedroom like flowering vines at a gate, I really don't want my little sister getting involved with him like this." He groaned, "When I find her, I'm to sit her down, meet her eyes and tell her very plainly that her big brother does not app—

"Oh!" Masanori suddenly exclaimed, drawing our attention.

"What is it now?" I asked him, "If you have any more lewd observations, keep them—

"Oh shove it Kiyomasa," he snapped at me, "I just remembered something good. Wanna hear?"

"Just spit it out already," Mitsunari told him. Hanbei looked on expectantly.

"The Old Man told me this before, but he's meeting someone important today," Masanori told us, "Think it might be Little Sis?"

"I didn't hear anything of that sort," Mitsunari's patience was growing thin. I couldn't blame him. Not knowing something that Masanori did was…depressing. But before I could join Mitsunari in self-pity, I suddenly remembered Kanbei's words.

"Oh yeah," I said, "Lord Kanbei mentioned something like that. There's an important guest in the East Wing of the castle."

"Lord Kanbei?" Hanbei blinked, "Did he say anything else?"

"Um," I thought about it, "Yes, he said not to disturb…them?" My voice trailed off as I realized that Hanbei was smiling again. But this wasn't the nice carefree (or even mischievous) smile I had come to associate with him. This was the kind of smile that I associated with Kanbei, whenever one of his strategies was about to go very, very right.

In other words, this was the kind of smile that spelled disaster for someone…

And this was how we'd found ourselves on the roof of the East Wing.

Well, alright, it wasn't our original destination. Originally, we were going to go through a door like normal civilized people, but that plan had been foiled by the guard that had been put in place. It was one thing for someone like me or Mitsunari to be denied access (and that went triple for Masanori), but for Hanbei to be told to stay away was simply unheard of. Even he had been caught off-guard by that. (Fortunately, Mitsunari and I were at least able to stop from doing something ridiculous like claiming Lord Nobunaga had arrived, or that we were under attack. That poor guard really didn't know how to react to Hanbei's antics.)

I think at this point none of us had been thinking straight though, because our thoughts broke down like this. The guard had all but confirmed that Lord Hideyoshi was in the East Wing, yet he refused to allow Hanbei in, despite Hanbei being someone who could always get an audience with Lord Hideyoshi. Hanbei concluded that there must have a very specific reason Lord Hideyoshi didn't want to see him, but he wouldn't dare spell it out (Masanori almost did and got smacked by both me and Mitsunari for his trouble).

The next point of interest was the guard refusing to reveal whom Lord Hideyoshi was meeting with. The truth of this could have been that he didn't know (a painfully obvious truth, I might add), but when he didn't even specify if it was a man or woman, Masanori decided that it absolutely had to be a woman. The guard then admitted that he did catch a quick glimpse of a young dark-haired beauty, and Hanbei instantly decided that it had to be Oyu. None of us even tried to dispute it.

The final point to consider was Kanbei's own warning to me not to come here in the first place. The truth was most likely that he didn't want any of us bothering the guest with our detective nonsense (a sentiment I do agree with) but Hanbei took it to be a warning directed at him specifically, which coupled with Kanbei's previous transgression probably broke what was left of his sanity.

So at this point we were all thoroughly convinced that Lord Hideyoshi was inside, meeting with his latest concubine: Oyu.

It didn't end well.

"Lord Hanbei…I really don't think this is a good idea," I said this after climbing onto the roof, and helping Mitsunari up. When Hanbei first suggested it, none of us had any misgivings, but after he'd used that compass of his to fly up there, I started to get a bad feeling. Hanbei said that we were just going to sneak a peek and get out before anyone saw us, but what if someone did see us? Just what would Lord Hideyoshi (and whomever he was with) think about us sneaking around on the roof like this?

Not helping the matters was Masanori, the only one of us who still had any sort of excitement towards all of this. It's probably common knowledge already, but I'll mention that Masanori expresses his excitement by shouting at the top of his lungs and swinging that giant mace of his around.

Remember that. It's important.

Hanbei didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with any of this. He probably felt right at home on the rooftops, if the way he swiftly moved around while the rest of us struggled to maintain our balance was any indication.

"You worry too much Kiyomasa," he told me, somewhat coldly, "We're just going to see who's here and then escape."

"Really now? I doubt you'll be able to contain yourself if what you see matches what you're thinking," Mitsunari muttered.

"On the contrary. What I'm thinking is that there's nothing going on. Kiyomasa's the one who suggested it." The dirty look I got from Mitsunari after he said that will probably stay with me for a very long time.

"Anyway, be quiet," Hanbei ordered, "Just follow me, and you'll be fine."

We quieted down and took to following him as best as we could. Had things continued this way, we might have even been successful and the roof would never have suffered the damage that it did, but we ran into an unforeseen circumstance: The final person whose presence resulted in this disaster.

Hattori Hanzo.

How that didn't tip us off to the guest's identity is still debatable. Personally, I think we would have realized it given some time, but the next moments happened a little too fast.

For the record, Hanzo struck first.

One moment Hanbei was leading the way, and the next he suddenly threw his compass up as a shield to block Hanzo's Kusarigama. This put the rest of us on alert, and the next thing we knew, Hanbei was ordering us to battle.

In our defense, we did try to talk to Hanzo. But being the type of person that he is, he wouldn't listen and given that we were sneaking around on the roof, I suppose he did have some right to strike first, ask questions later. So while Hanbei calmly flew out of range, we were left to fight…or at the very least, not get killed long enough to reach some sort of understanding.

The roof did not make for a good battlefield, and though there were three of us against one of him, he had absolute terrain advantage. Maybe we would have stood a better chance had Hanbei actually helped out, but that is neither here nor there right now.

What was important was that Mitsunari and I were so focused on Hanzo and keeping our balance that we didn't notice what Masanori was doing until too late. Mitsunari and I had seemingly gained the upper hand for a moment, and we lunged at Hanzo simultaneously, ready to adjust out strike depending on which way he'd try to dodge. But at that moment, we heard an all-too familiar war cry, saw Masanori holding his mace above his head, and both knew what was coming.

"Masanori! You idiot!"

"Wait! Don't—not here!"

But it was too late. Hanzo swiftly jumped out of the way, just as Masanori brought the mace down onto the roof at full strength, sending out a huge shockwave that nearly knocked us all off.

For a moment, everyone was still. Hanzo had landed a short distance away and watched us in a low crouch. Hanbei continued to float nearby, his eyes wide and his smile frozen. Masanori, Mitsunari and I just exchanged glances, not sure of what to do. We waited a few moments to see if anything would happen, and after we were sure we weren't about to fall off, we let out the breaths we were holding.

And then, the roof promptly collapsed underneath us.

As I finished my story, I let out a long deep sigh. Even though it only happened a short while ago, retelling it like this made me aware of how ridiculous the whole thing was. I couldn't bring myself to raise my head.

After we had fallen through the roof, Lady Nene and Kanbei found us almost immediately. I don't know whether it was the sound of the battle or the actual crash that alerted them, but I already heard their voices while regaining my senses after the fall.

Just so you know, none of us were seriously hurt. Mitsunari landed on top of me, I landed on top of Masanori, and someone like Masanori wouldn't get hurt from something as trivial as a roof collapsing. We came out of that ordeal a little scraped, a little dazed, but not actually injured.

When Lady Nene appeared, she was absolutely livid. As soon as she realized we weren't hurt, she all but shoved us (and Hanzo) into an empty room to find out what happened. Hanbei had tried to escape by feigning exhaustion, and if not for Kanbei's presence, he would have been successful.

I never thought I would be glad to have Kanbei around…today really was a strange day.

Lady Nene had remained silent for the whole story, though her frown had grown deeper and deeper with each new event. Occasionally she had glanced at Hanzo and Kanbei, both of whom had been listening carefully as well. Hanzo's face hadn't changed at all, but Kanbei looked like he was nursing a painful headache.

All things considered, he probably was.

"So let me get this straight," Lady Nene said in a low voice, rubbing her temples, "The four of you got it into your heads that my husband was going behind my back with Hanbei's little sister, and to catch him in the act, you got the bright idea to sneak into the East Wing through the roof?"

When she put it like that it was really hard to answer. Mitsunari crossed his arms, Masanori shrugged sheepishly, Hanbei didn't react at all, and I could only nod in shame.

Lady Nene took a deep breath.

"YOU IDIOTS!"

Author's Note: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this story and got a few laughs out of it. This is my first attempt at a mystery though, so I do hope the difficulty level isn't too high or too low. There should be just enough clues to reveal both Hideyoshi and Oyu's motives and whether or not they have anything to do with each other. The reader can also trust Kiyomasa's narration. Sarcasm and assumptions aside, he does not engage in any deceit. I do have a solution/epilogue written though, which I will post in a few days. Unless the reader thinks this story is best left open-ended? I'd love to hear any opinions/theories.

Small Historical Note: Historically, Oyu probably was one of Hideyoshi's concubines, and no, Hanbei did not really approve of it, but he never directly interfered with them (as far as my rather limited research shows anyway). One of his dying wishes though was for Hideyoshi to let her go, which was granted. Also probably worth a mention is that in Taiko, Oyu is probably the closest thing the book has to an actual love interest for Hideyoshi. He probably has more page time with her than with Nene and Chacha combined...

And on a Final Note: I should probably apologize to Hanbei and Mitsunari fans. Those two were the hardest to write for me (especially in this context), so I hope I haven't completely butchered their characters. Sorry if I did. Also I am very proud of myself for making my self-imposed September 27th deadline.

Until next time~