Written: August 2007
Disclaimer: Suing seems like a natural reaction after reading Pokémon fanfiction, don't you think?
Author's Note: Why wasn't this posted earlier...?
Dedication: To all of my muses.
I had a dream with her.
But why would I suddenly have feelings for some girl I started traveling with? It seems so fake. So... predictable.
But it's not fake, and that could be what scares me. I see her and I think maybe I really fell for her. Maybe I'll never get her out of my mind. Well, that's held true so far. It's a little annoying, really.
Then I see her and nothing's annoying.
Except for the blatantly obvious fact that she likes Ash.
It's cute when you really get down to it, the way they fawn over each other and then pass it off as simple friendship or worse. Worse being the simple point of Ash owing Misty a bicycle. The way she uses that as an excuse is really kind of funny. At the very least, I'm glad to see her happy.
But back to my dream. I almost never remember them, so this was special; I even got out my sketchbook to quickly draw a scene before going back to sleep.
In it I hugged her. She was so small and fit so perfectly in my arms, but was anything but fragile. That's what I like about her the most; she's tough as nails and she knows it.
Every other day we see Team Rocket. Or, more importantly, Jesse and James. They are definitely meant for each other. It's like it's written in the stars. Anyone with half a mind can see it. The way they look at each other, the way they're always in perfect harmony with the other's movements and speech. And of course, they always hug in terror. Maybe Ash and Misty aren't exactly like that, but Misty and I certainly aren't. Especially when she yells at me for drawing girls instead of pokémon.
Would she rather see me draw her? I'd like to think so, but. Ash.
I'm envious of him. To think he has someone like Misty and doesn't even notice. I'm not expecting him to. Of course I'm not. With time, if they stay by each other's side, it'll come as naturally as everything does with them: noisily and harshly. But it'll happen. He's the luckiest and most determined person I've ever met, and I admire him greatly. Too bad he's denser than a slowpoke.
And me. The third wheel, the navigator, the tag-along, the big brother. I hate that last one the most. It makes me glad to think of Ash and I as brothers; I wouldn't have it any other way. And Misty? Big brothers don't have dreams about hugging their little sisters and wake up with hammering hearts. Oh, and then draw them.
When I draw this dream and look at the picture, really look at it, I can feel the blood rushing back to my face and even to my ears. The way she clicks like a puzzle piece into me. Well, because I'm so much bigger than her structurally.
No, I am not fat. I just happen to have broad shoulders and like baggy clothes.
Her frame is so tiny and just the thought of wrapping her up in me seems like bliss. And now seeing it on paper? Maybe I should just stop torturing myself.
She did hug me once or at least almost hugged me. We were on Pinkin Island when Ash decided it was a brilliant idea to walk up to a pink rhyhorn and say hello. Needless to say, it charged us and we were stupid enough to run towards Misty and Pikachu. Ash and I stood behind Misty screaming in pure terror, while she.
Well, hugged me.
True, Pikachu was in her arms, but she crouched just a little and leaned into me. So I began pulling her towards me.
But then we teleported to safety somehow and the whole story just goes in the toilet. I can just picture myself telling someone, "She hugged me!" Then they completely ignore this and ask how the hell we teleported. I will never get any useful advice on how to analyze this situation; I'm on my own.
First I think maybe she thought I was Ash, or that she wasn't paying attention and was instinctively going for the most reliable source of safety. The explanation for this is simple: I'm bigger than Ash. If a pokémon the size of a large pink truck was going to hit Misty at forty miles per hour, I can see where she'd want the largest shield possible.
Then I think what if she subconsciously chose me for a reason other than protection? Like a physical Freudian Slip, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
Lastly I think Ash. There's no way Misty can be this infatuated with Ash and subconsciously like me. Or like me at all. And if she is trying to make me jealous, by now she'd know that I'm not the jealous type. If she asked me to marry her and then the next day told me she was running off with Ash, I'd tell her to be happy.
Can you tell I've thought this over a bit?
God, sometimes I hate being the nice guy.
Just as I rack my mind enough to want to scream, I look back down at that picture I just drew and sigh. At least I'll always have her in my dreams.
"Tracey, what are you doing?" I hear her groggy voice. Before she's even done asking me this, I smother the small pile of sticks I had burning with the empty water pail from the earlier campfire; I needed the light to draw my dumb picture.
After this wonderful display of grace, I answer quietly, shakily, "Sorry. Just needed to sketch an idea I had quick." Misty knows this is odd since I usually only draw from life. I'm not terribly creative otherwise.
Luckily she's too tired to question me. "Get some sleep," she groans, lying back down in her bubbly sleeping bag. I smile. "I'm going to kill you enough if you're up earlier than us." At this I have to try not to laugh. Because I'm always awake and ready for the day earlier than her and Ash, they resent me. It would be a crime if I did the same with less sleep.
"Okay. Sorry to wake you," I tell her gently before laying down. Pulling off my headband, I look to the sky and sigh. At least I'm with her now. I can only hope that we'll stay friends for years after we stop traveling.