There was nothing Violet hated more than waking up early. It was well known across the school that she slept until ten in the morning unless she had something important to do. So when an early morning sun hit her face through the open window, she groaned.
Rolling over onto the other side, she tried to close her eyes and force herself to sleep, but sleep would not come. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and blinking rapidly to adjust to the dim light that filled her room. It was mostly empty, with just one bed for her and an unused shelf on the other corner. Groaning, she got up and headed for the door.
Violet slumped her way through the hallway and walked out into the courtyard. The sun was barely scraping the treetops and Tenn was still on his watch shift. She waved at the boy and made her way to the benches, where Aasim was already writing on his journal. He waved her over and smiled,
"You're up early," he commented with a sly grin.
"Don't remind me," she grumbled, rubbing her face and sitting down opposite him. "What on Earth could you be writing? It's not even noon."
Aasim scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Deciding he could trust her, he said, "If you must know, I'm writing a letter."
Violet snorted back a laugh and raised an eyebrow. "Be sure to let grandma know you're eating your veggies."
"It's a letter to Ruby," he said irritably, rolling his eyes.
"Oh," she mumbled, "I didn't know you had it in you, Aasim."
"Neither did I, but Clem convinced me it's time to let go of my fears," he reasoned, "I don't know when could be the last time I see her, and I need to let her know how I feel."
"I can understand," she assured him, "Wait, you said you talked to Clementine?"
"Yeah, shortly before you arrived."
"Where is she?"
"She went into the admin building; said she had to take care of something," he shrugged.
Violet thanked him and took her leave, walking toward the admin building with purpose. Ever since Marlon's untimely fate, Violet took it upon herself to lead the kids of Ericson's. It wasn't an easy job, and sometimes it got to be too much for her.
She thanked God Clementine was there, though. The amber eyed girl had been a huge help, both to her leadership and their war with the Delta. She still couldn't believe they'd won, and every day woke up thinking it had been a dream. When she entered the building, she was startled by the sound of a piano coming from her right.
Curiously, she slowly made her way to the piano room. The door was ajar, so Violet looked through the crack. Inside was Clementine sitting at the piano, tentatively pressing keys at random, frowning when a dissonant sound ruined a chord. Rays of sunlight shone through the cracks in the boards of the window and fell on Clementine, making her seem like she was shining.
Violet opened the door and was about to say something when Clementine played an actual chord. Although it was choppy, Violet recognized it. She stood silently by the door as Clementine tentatively played the second chord of the song; and then the third and the fourth. She repeated the sequence, more sure of herself this time. With a smile, Violet realized that she would never reach Louis's level, but she was rather good.
Violet was startled when, out of nowhere, Clementine started singing. Her voice was shaky, like she was concentrating hard on remembering the lyrics. She and Louis hadn't practiced it a long time, Violet realized.
"Oh my darling, oh my darling
Oh my darling Clementine."
Violet noticed Clem's head hung low, her eyes fixated on the keys. She made no move to stop her, so the girl kept playing.
"You are lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry, Clementine."
As she said her own name, her voice broke and her hand slipped on the chord. She cursed under her breath and repositioned her right hand. Violet crossed her arms over her chest and leaned on the doorframe, not uttering a sound.
"Light she was, and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine,
Herring boxes without topses,
Sandals were for Clementine."
Clem stopped playing the chords abruptly, staring blankly at the ivories, as Louis would call them. Smiling, Violet clapped her hands together, startling the girl on the piano. Clementine whirled her head around at the sound and stared at the blonde girl.
"That was beautiful," Violet complimented, walking toward her and sitting o one of the loveseats by the piano.
"It wasn't as good as Louis's though," Clem countered bitterly, closing the lid on the piano.
"You'll get there," she encouraged, placing a hand on Clementine's shoulder. "How are you doing?"
"Better, I think," replied Clem, sighing. "I just haven't been sleeping well lately, and I needed to unwind."
"Nightmares again?" Violet asked. Clem looked at the blonde girl and nodded.
"Why do you think they're coming back?" Clem inquired, frowning. "I've been just fine for a while, but I can't seem to fight them off now."
"Clem, it's been a year…" she trailed off, looking away.
"I know, I don't need you to remind me," Clementine snapped, frowning. She shook her head and whispered, "Sorry, I'm just…"
"It's okay Clem," Violet assured the girl, "I get it."
"I just don't know what to do, Vi," Clem whispered, her hands shaking.
"You gotta stop blaming yourself, for one;" suggested Violet, "For the last time, his death wasn't your fault, Clementine."
"How do you know that?" countered Clementine, her voice rising.
"I saw it," Vi said simply, "You would've lost AJ if you hadn't pushed that walker off him. Louis was just in the way…" she trailed off, closing her eyes.
"Still, I should have seen it coming. I should have killed Abel when I had the chance," she spat bitterly, tears stinging her eyes. Clem buried her face in her hands and Violet pulled her closer, embracing her in a hug.
"You couldn't have seen it, Clem," she assured the girl in her arms, fighting off tears of her own, "The fact that everyone else came out alive means you did the best job you could."
"Well my best job cost my boyfriend his life," Clem replied bitterly, "Maybe that's my curse. No matter what I do, people will always die around me."
"People always die, that's life," corrected Violet. She pushed her away and held Clem at arm's length. "You can't keep beating yourself over it."
"It's what I do best," she replied, snorting. "My whole life has been one train wreck after another."
"Yet you're still standing," Violet retorted. "And you will keep standing. For AJ, for the rest of the school, for me," she added, a plea in her voice. They stared at each other for a while, conveying in their looks the comfort both of them desperately needed.
That night after dinner, Clem left her bowl at the table and excused herself, walking away from the dorms. AJ cast a worried glance in her direction, but it was Violet that stood up.
"Don't worry, AJ, I'll look out for her," he assured the boy, following Clementine.
They entered the makeshift graveyard, and Violet frowned when he saw the amount of graves. There were a total of five: Marlon, Brody, Mrs. Martin, Mitch and Louis. The latter was Clem's final destination, standing in front of it with a lost expression. Violet walked up to her and stood beside her, staring at the inscription on the stone.
'Louis. All good things come to an end.'
Louis had used to say that phrase a few years ago, Violet recalled, and it seemed fitting to put on his grave. She looked to her left and saw a tear trickling down Clem's cheek, so she wiped it away. Clementine hadn't noticed she was there, so she almost jumped back.
"I know it hurts, Clem," Violet assured her, giving her shoulder a squeeze.
"I just miss him so much, Vi," Clem whispered, "I don't even know why. I only knew him for a month," she chuckled, fresh tears filling her eyes.
Violet shuffled her feet awkwardly, searching for words that wouldn't come. Before she could form a reply, Clem spoke again,
"You know what the funny thing is?" she closed her eyes, her lower lip quivering. "I never got to tell him I loved him."
"Clem…"
"Because I did. I did with all my heart, and now he'll never know."
Fumbling inside her pocket, Clem produced a scrunched up page from it. Violet looked on in silence as the girl flattened it on her leg, and cleared her throat.
"Louis, it's been a year since you died and I'm lost," she began, her voice shaky but her words true. "I'm lost because I can't seem to find the light; I can't seem to find motivation to keep going, even when AJ needs me. He talks about you sometimes, about all the fun times you had." Teardrops were staining the paper as she read on, but Violet could tell she'd memorized it.
"But all I can think about is all the fun times you never got to have. All the dumb jokes you never got to tell. You would have made an amazing older brother for him, I know it. As for me, you gave me back my purpose. When you came into my life, you gave me a reason to keep going, when the only one I had was AJ. But then they took you away, and I thought I might die right then."
"I keep going for AJ, of course. And I always will, until the day I die. I just wish it was with you and your stupid jokes. I love you, Louis."
She fell silent then, furiously wiping away the tears she couldn't seem to stop from flowing. Violet stared blankly at the ground where Louis was supposed to be buried. There was no time to recover his body, so they buried some of his belongings instead.
Clearing her throat once more, Clem closed her eyes and began singing.
"Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling, Clementine.
You are lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry, Clementine.
Light she was, and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine.
Herring boxes without topses,
Sandals were for Clementine.
Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling, Clementine.
You are lost and gone forever."
"Dreadful sorry, Clementine," sang Violet, her voice high and her eyes red. They stared at each other silently, basking in the beauty of the moment. Clem looked down at her hands, crushing the page in a ball and placing it on Louis's grave.
"That was beautiful," Violet whispered then.
"I just wish he could have heard it," Clementine lamented, looking up at the stars. It was a clear night sky, and the constellations were plentiful. Violet followed her gaze and searched the skies. Though it was barely for a second, she smiled when she saw a shooting star fly through the cosmos.
"Oh, I think he heard it alright."