Things always went well for Louis. Except when they didn't…
That was the only thing going through Louis's mind as he sat in fifth period math, staring at his best friend from the back of the class. Clementine Everett was the new girl this year, as her father Lee had been transferred to West Virginia. She and Louis had hit it off quite quickly, and they became best friends shortly thereafter.
Clementine was a short girl with curly brown hair and beautiful amber eyes. She always wore a blue hat with a D on it, though to this day Louis didn't know what it stood for. Neither did she, though, so they decided to keep the mystery untouched. He looked down at his notebook and took out a pen. Doodling was one of his favorite pastimes when he got bored in class, which was almost all the time.
Now, however, he'd been hit with a musical inspiration. He carefully drew five straight lines onto the page and started humming to himself, stopping every now and then to scribble a note onto the bars. Another one of his favorite hobbies, the piano was his go to escape from reality. Louis had started composing a couple of songs, and this one would be his masterpiece.
He looked up once more at Clementine, who was taking notes as the teacher spoke, ever the diligent student. That was something he admired of her; her dedication to her studies. Luckily for him, she was also very empathetic, so she would usually let him copy her notes after class.
"Please pay attention, Mr. Walker," Mrs. Martin said loudly, pulling Louis out of his thoughts.
"Sorry, Professor," he said cheekily, raising an awkward hand. He noticed Clem looking at him and winked at her, making her smile. He had that effect on her.
The problem here was the effect she had on him. He'd recently realized that he was looking forward to their meetings more than before, and any time she so much as shook his hand his stomach did fifty summersaults. Although he hadn't wanted to admit it to himself, he couldn't lie anymore. He had developed a crush on his best friend.
This would have been perfectly fine, if it wasn't for the fact that Clementine was in a relationship with a guy named Adam. He was short, with mousy blond hair and piercing blue eyes. Louis had met him when Adam threw a party at his place, and Clem had begged Louis to come along with her. He agreed, though reluctantly, and ended up having to take a tipsy Clementine back to her place on his bike.
When the bell rang to release them from Mrs. Martin's torture, Louis walked straight to Clem's desk. She was hurriedly stuffing her books in her backpack, and almost jumped back when she noticed him standing over her.
"Need any help?" he said with a grin, taking one of the books and neatly stacking it with the others.
"Thanks, Lou," she muttered, zipping up her backpack and then tucking a stray curl behind her ear. Louis had noticed she did that a lot, just like he'd started to notice other little things she did. He cursed himself for being so stupidly romantic.
"You know, this is an alarming amount of books," Louis commented, counting at least five. "You sure your back won't give out carrying these?"
"I'm strong, don't you worry," she reminded him, standing up with little effort and lugging the backpack over her shoulder. "Maybe you're just not reading enough."
"I do read," he corrected her. When she raised an eyebrow, he sighed, "Okay, maybe I only read comic books, but still."
"It wouldn't kill you to pick up a textbook, you know?" Clem suggested as they exited the classroom together. The hall was brimming with students, so they decided to go out into the courtyard.
"Perhaps, but what's life without a few risks," mused Louis.
"The risk of failing every subject, you mean?" she teased, leaning against the stair rails. "I wish I could be that lazy."
"It's not being lazy," he corrected, "I prefer the term 'selective participation'."
"Sounds fancy," she conceded with a smile.
As they spoke, Louis kept looking at the tiny details of her face. The way small dimples formed in her cheeks when she smiled, the way her amber eyes shone when she talked about her passions. He tried to ignore the signs that this was not just a mere crush, but he was so entranced by her beauty that he didn't care.
"Louis?" he heard Clem say uncertainly. He blinked twice and looked down at her.
"Sorry, what?" he said.
"You spaced out for a bit there," she told him, squinting. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," he claimed, running a hand through his hair. "I must be tired."
"Well, I gotta go anyways. Adam is expecting me at the park," she said with a big smile. Stupid Adam, Louis thought ruefully.
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then," he said, nodding. She planted a kiss on his cheek and bounded off north toward the local park. Running a hand over his cheek, he watched her go in fascination. I have to tell her, he decided.
Three days later, Louis sat in front of the school piano, playing the melody he's been writing during class. It was a joyous one, with mostly major chords and a soft bass sound pulling the piece together. As he played, he mumbled a few incoherent words, trying to come up with lyrics that could express what he was feeling but ultimately coming up empty.
He found that his stomach would not stay still as he waited for three o'clock to arrive, and he shook his head in frustration. This should be easy, right? He'd had crushes before. He'd even dated Mary McDonald for a couple of months two years ago.
But this was different, he knew. None of the crushed he'd ever had came close to the emotions that ran through his head when he thought of Clementine. He couldn't quite place the feeling, but when she spoke about anything and he stood there listening, he felt like he was floating. He could hear her drone about calculus and formulas for hours on end and never get bored.
Two minutes before the bell was supposed to ring, a soft knock came from the other side of the door. Quickly fumbling over his own feet, he got up and tried his best to be smooth as he opened it and welcomed Clementine inside.
"Hey there," he said casually, going back to the piano and patting a chair beside it.
Clementine sat down and raised an eyebrow at her best friend, "Hey," she said, eyeing the piano, "Why did you call me here? Your text said it was urgent."
"I," he paused, looking for the right words to express his thoughts. "I needed to tell you something."
"Okay, shoot," she encouraged. Louis started absently playing the melody he'd been practicing, and Clem raised her eyebrows. "Hey, that's new."
She always did care about his music, and claimed to be his biggest fan. "It is, I started writing it that day on math period," he told her, making her chuckle.
"It's beautiful," she whispered, closing her eyes and bobbing her head slowly to the rhythm.
Louis looked to his right and smiled, watching her enjoy his music. He couldn't help himself from saying, "You're beautiful."
Clem's eyes opened wide and she stared at Louis with a bewildered expression. "What?" she exclaimed.
He decided it was time, so he stopped playing and raised one leg over the stool so he'd be facing her. He sighed heavily and looked into her amber eyes. "Okay, this new song wasn't exactly why I called you here," he began, closing his eyes, "I needed to tell you before I explode."
"Louis, what's going on?" she asked innocently.
"I realized some time ago that I have feelings for you," he admitted finally, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, "I wish I didn't, but I can't really control it, you know?"
"You have feelings for me?" she repeated, baffled. Her brow creased when she looked back up at him, "Since when?"
"Does it really matter?" Louis said, shrugging, "what matters is that I needed you to know."
"Louis, you know I have a boyfriend," she began, her tone sad.
"I know, and I hate it," he said, looking away. "I wish it were me, but I was too slow."
"I just… I don't know what to say," Clem stuttered, frowning. It wasn't often that Clementine Everett was left speechless.
"Don't worry about it, Clem. This is my problem, and I'll live with it," he promised, "Music will be my muse," he joked.
After that, an awkward silence fell upon them. Louis tried to fill it by playing, but inspiration would not come. Clem reached for the keys and hesitantly pressed some of them in the order Louis had shown her a few weeks ago. He smiled at the memory; it had probably been at that point that he'd realized he liked her, he thought.
His train of thought was cut off when Clementine's phone rang, and Adam's name came up on the screen. Clem looked at it with a frown and then back up at Louis. He shook his head.
"Go take it, it's okay," he assured her, smiling. He had learned to smile in the face of adversity long ago.
She offered him a sad smile before walking out of the room and answering the phone, leaving Louis to his less than pleasant thoughts. Had he fucked up? Had he made it super awkward? The doubts about his actions ran through his head rapidly and he was left to ponder them in silence, his piano left untouched.
Despite his best efforts, the following month was extremely awkward between Clementine and Louis. He noticed she was avoiding him; or at least he thought she was. He on the other hand decided to focus on his music, composing the rest of the song he'd started. Unfortunately, his thoughts clouded his abilities, so the end result was a mesh of dissonant chords and awkward notes.
He tried to keep his mind off Clementine for a while, but it proved difficult. Most of his time was spent either playing the piano or hanging out with Marlon, his other best friend. One afternoon, after classes, Marlon pulled him aside and asked him what was bothering him.
"There's nothing bothering me, dude," he claimed, chuckling, "I've just been tired. I haven't been sleeping well."
"Bro, you're not fooling me," Marlon told him, crossing his arms over his chest. "There's something on your mind… or someone," he added as an afterthought.
"You know me too well," Louis commented with a rueful grin. "It's Clem."
"What about her, you pulled a stupid prank on her?" Marlon queried with a smirk.
"No, the opposite, actually," he replied, "I told her I had feelings for her and now I fucked it up."
"You did what?" exclaimed Marlon.
"I think I'm in love, man."
"You in –," Marlon paused, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Okay how'd you do it?"
Louis then retold him how he'd confessed his feelings for Clementine, including the unfortunate reaction and her leaving to answer a call from her boyfriend. Marlon sighed, eyeing his friend. Louis wasn't one to get hung up on a girl, he knew, so this must have been hard.
"Alright, here's what we're gonna do," he said finally, forming a plan in his mind. "I'm throwing a party next week, right? We can invite Clem if you want."
"Dude, it's not gonna happen. She has a boyfriend," Louis objected with a frown.
"So? Lucy had a boyfriend, but we still made out last summer," Marlon retorted, shrugging.
"I'm not like that, man," Louis retorted, "I can't go around kissing someone else's girlfriend; much less my best friend."
"Okay first of all, ouch," Marlon began, placing a hand over his heart dramatically, "second, you might as well try, right? What's there to lose?"
Louis thought about his friend's plan, and it all seemed foolproof. Except for one tiny setback, "I could destroy our friendship."
"Or you could start a great relationship," Marlon countered, smirking, "You just have to ask yourself something. Is what you feel worth that friendship?"
The following day Louis sat alone at one of the benches outside the school, overlooking the courtyard. He was doodling absently on his sketchpad, though the only thing he seemed to be able to write was the initials 'C.E.'. He took out the sheet for his song and stared at the bars, singing the melody in his head. Despite his setbacks, it was still a joyful melody. He took his pencil and wrote at the top of the page, with his best handwriting: 'Clementine'.
When he finished, he looked up and saw her sitting on the steps leading to the library, a book propped open on her lap. Again, she was tucking her hair behind her ear and her face was set in concentration. Louis's heart almost sank when he spotted Marlon walking up to her, a smug grin on his face. He saw her head perk up and eye him suspiciously, for she wasn't such a fan of Louis's best friend.
He said something to her that Louis couldn't make out, and she pursed her lips. Clementine checked her phone for a moment before looking back at Marlon and nodding, asking another question back at him. Marlon nodded and smiled at her, then took his leave walking straight back at Louis. When he sat down opposite him, Louis glared at him.
"What'd you say to her?" he demanded, his tone sharp.
"Relax, dude," Marlon said, holding up his hands. "I told her about my party next week, and asked her to come."
"You idiot," Louis muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Well, she said yes," Marlon continued, "But that's the good news."
"What's the bad news then?"
"She's taking Adam."
Louis banged his head on the table and ran his hands through his hair, "I hate you," he mumbled without lifting his head.
"You'll be thanking me in no time, you just see," Marlon said with a smug look on his face.
Looking back up at Clementine, Louis saw that she had now ditched the book and was now in an animated discussion on the phone. Probably talking to her dad, Louis thought. The two of them were like two peas in a pod, so it was no wonder she'd gotten Lee's stubbornness.
The week that followed went by painfully slowly for Louis, who was counting down the days to Marlon's party. He wasn't about to steal someone's girlfriend, but any time he got to spend with Clementine was good enough for him. When the day of the party arrived, his nerves were through the roof, and he could barely concentrate.
"Hey Louis," he heard Clem's voice from behind him, pulling him out of his thoughts. "I'll see you at the party tonight?"
Turning around, he produced the best smile he could muster, "Totally, wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Alright, see ya," she said as she crossed the street with a backwards glance at him.
With a flurry of butterflies messing up his digestive system, Louis donned his headphones and spent the bus ride home in silence. He watched the clouds through the window, wondering how people ever saw shapes in them, when all he could see was white cotton candy.
That night, he was one of the last people at Marlon's place. His friend welcomed him with a red cut filled with some brown liquid, which he claimed was just a little appetizer. Thinking about the night he had ahead of him, Louis downed the stuff in one go, scrunching up his nose when the alcohol burned his throat.
"This tastes worse than cantaloupe," he commented to Marlon, who was grinning madly.
"It's liquor," he slurred, blinking rapidly.
"You're having a good time, I wager," Louis teased, smirking.
"The best, dude," exclaimed Marlon, stretching his arms, "Haven't seen Clementine or that doofus yet, though."
"They might be late," Louis muttered bitterly, taking another swig of his cup, which Marlon had refilled.
Louis proceeded to wander around the house, mingling with people from their school. He was surprised to find the quite guy, Aasim, there. He saw a girl called Ruby standing in a corner, chatting on her phone. There was Mitch, who had dropped out last year but was still friends with Marlon, trying to score on a girl with straight blonde hair. But Louis could tell from a mile away that the girl had eyes only for Minnie, one of the McArthur twins, who was currently involved in a game of beer pong with her sister. He couldn't tell who was winning though.
When he got to the second living room, his heart sank. On one of the loveseats was Adam with Clementine sitting on his lap. They were holding hands, and chatting absently. A white hot rage filled Louis, and he stormed out into the backyard. He threw his cup into the pool and, frustrated, sat down on one of the lawn chairs set up near it.
He ran his hands through his hair, his mind running a hundred miles a minute, and breathed heavily. Why was he so upset? He'd known from the start that Clementine had a boyfriend, so why did it hurt so bad to see them together? He knew why, of course. This was more than just a crush.
Having had his fourth cup twenty minutes ago, as soon as Louis stood up a wave of nausea filled his head. He sat back down, rubbing his throbbing head, and laid back onto the chair. He lay there for a while, admiring the stars in the clear night sky until a commotion inside the house brought him back to Earth.
Making sure to stand up slowly, he rushed the rest of the way into the living room. In the middle, Clementine and Adam were facing each other, a frown on the girl's face.
"I don't need you to protect me from him, Adam!" she yelled, throwing an empty red cup at him.
"You do, Clementine," he tried to yell back, but slurred through his words disastrously.
"You're shitfaced, Adam, go home!" she said, crossing her arms over her chest and turning back from him.
Before he could come up with a witty remark, Adam was heralded out of the house by Marlon himself, who seemed to have sobered up just for this moment alone. Louis saw the host gently tell Adam that he was too intoxicated to stay, and that he should take a cab home. Once he was gone, the rest of the guests seemed to forget the incident and carried on with their conversations.
Louis saw Clementine storm off toward the backyard, and decided to follow her. Once outside, she walked to the back, where three plastic chairs stood scattered around a small table. Louis took a deep breath and walked behind her when she sat down.
"Ah, lover's spat, the true test of relationships," he said, feigning disappointment. "Wanna talk about it?" he told her more seriously, sitting down on a chair opposite her.
Though Clem wouldn't look at him, she nodded, "He's just being an idiot; he does that sometimes," she assured him.
"What'd he do?" asked Louis, raising an eyebrow. "I'm kind of an expert in being an idiot," he said proudly.
"He thinks he needs to be around me all the time. That's why he was even invited to this party," she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "He wanted an excuse to keep an eye on me, like I'm his property or something."
"That's not cool," Louis offered, shaking his head. As that gave him nausea, he stopped and looked down, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry, Clem."
"For what?" she asked incredulously.
"For making things awkward," he explained, shrugging, "I'm used to making things awkward, actually, but this time it was different."
"You didn't, though," she said, putting a hand on his hunched shoulder, "I did, avoiding you and all that," she trailed off, looking down as well.
"Can I ask you a question, though?" she said, looking down at him.
"Gimme a sec," he told her, slowly rising and get himself to be at eye level with her. "Go on."
"Why did you tell me you had feelings for me now, knowing that I have a boyfriend?"
Louis frowned, the question he'd been asking himself being said by the same girl it referred to. Taking a deep breath and looking into her golden eyes, he said, "Because we belong together."
Before she could interrupt him, he continued, "Every time, when I think about something, there's these voices in my head. Some say 'Yes', others say 'No'. There's always a small amount of doubt in my mind, you see?"
"But when I think of us together, the only one I hear is the one that says 'Yes'. So how and why is it that I fucked up the only thing I've ever been sure of in my life? Why did I have to fall in love with my best friend of all people?"
"Fall in love?" she exclaimed, cutting him off. Louis slapped his forehead and swore under his breath. "You're in love with me?" she whispered, removing her hand from his shoulder.
"I," he hesitated, looking up at her again. "Yeah, I am," he conceded, finding no way out of it.
"So Adam was onto something," she muttered, snorting.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, one of the reasons he wanted to come here is that you were here," she told him, "He doesn't trust that you'll respect my boundaries if he's not here," she imitated his voice with mock seriousness, making Louis chortle.
"Well, you can tell him he can stop worrying. I wouldn't do that," Louis informed her, smiling sadly.
"Maybe," she muttered, taking his hand in hers. The warmth of her touch sent a strange sort of shivers down his spine, awakening every nerve in his body. "But I might."
Without warning, Clementine leaned in and planted a kiss on Louis's lips. They tilted their heads to the side and leaned in farther, as if their mouths were two jigsaw puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly and had finally found each other. They moved in unison, basking in each other's company. Louis couldn't tell how long the kiss lasted, but when it ended, he felt as though a piece of his soul had left his body.
"Wow," he whispered, looking directly into her eyes. They were dilated, he realized, and the sparkle that he'd noticed in her eyes long ago was tellingly there, teasing him. "That was… unexpected."
"I'm sorry," she said suddenly, startling Louis. He took her hand again and leaned in.
"Don't be sorry," he begged, giving her a reassuring squeeze, "It was perfect."
"Maybe, but I'm with Adam," she trailed off, closing her eyes. "How can I tell him it's over?"
"What do you mean?" he asked, kitting his brows together.
"Well, I need to break up with him, don't I?" she said, like it was way too obvious to miss.
"Wh – you mean…" he stuttered, his eyes widening in comprehension.
By way of response, Clem kissed him again, more passionately this time. It was as though that kiss were compensating for the time they'd lost beating around the bush. All the little squabbles now made sense, Louis thought. All the stolen looks, and the flutters of his stomach, had seemingly prepared him for this exact moment.
When they broke apart, both of them had a sloppy grin on their faces. Louis planted a small kiss on her nose and pressed his forehead to hers. Closing their eyes, they exhaled deeply.
"I think you should go talk to Adam," Louis broke the silence, making her sigh.
"Why do you always have to be right?" she complained, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I'm not always right," he said.
"You're right, I don't know why I said that," she teased, making him roll his eyes.
"I love you, Clem," he whispered, running his thumb over her flustered cheek and enjoying the color that filled them when he did.
"You always know what to say, don't you?"
"Half the time, I don't even know," he admitted, smiling, "I just go with my gut."
"You're so weird sometimes," she told him.
"Yeah, but apparently you dig that, so who's the weird one?"
"It's both of us," she whispered, pressing her lips softly to his, wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling against his lips. This is the start of something great, they both thought in unison.