Barely Breathing

1. Young Blood Spills Tonight

His breath fogged against the window as he stood outside. Even in the night, he could see when his hot breath mixed with the bitter cold of the winter. Damon Salvatore didn't bother to wear a jacket and instead he stood on the dimly lit porch in just his black t-shirt and pants. It was so he could feel the numbness. All he wanted to do right now was feel the same way that she was feeling. Comforting and wishing that all he pain was going to leave her body just at his touch was replaced by the feeling of lost hope. There was no reasoning with God at this point. Nobody inside knew what was going to happen and everyone outside didn't want to believe what was going to occur.

His dark eyes stayed glued to the small window by the door. His stare landed on the girl he hadn't even known for a year. The brightness in her features have disappeared. Elena Gilbert was about to become a different person altogether both in her physical appearance and in her personality. Actually, she wasn't even going to be human at all. He hated himself for taking that life away from her; the life that his brother wanted her to live.

Damon would do anything to keep Elena safe from harm and that was something that he had trouble coping with. He thought if he kept on protecting her that she would eventually see that he truly loved her. The feelings were never reciprocated back, but Damon just didn't know what he would do if anything were to happen to her. He didn't want there to be a chance of losing her, especially on his watch.

Earlier that day...

He opened the large wooden door to see her standing with her arm across her chest. The sunlight hit her and her dark brown hair shined. Damon swallowed the lump that seemed to form in his throat whenever Elena was around him.

"Is there something I can help you with? Or should I just stick to my assumption that you're here to see Stefan?" No matter what he tried to do to change her mind about him, Elena always chose Stefan over him. For her, he repressed the anger that continued to boil in his veins.

Her arms stayed folded. "Actually, I'm here to see you. Before I come in, I need to know if Stefan is here." Her voice was trained to be calm. She knew that how easily Damon could read her and it scared her.

He shrugged and them leaned against the doorframe. "He might be." He told her coyly.

"Damon," she said his name with an annoyed sigh because she had no time for the mind games he liked to play with her.

In response, Damon smirked. "He's out looking for something to eat. With his small animal diet, he shouldn't be back for awhile. Human blood satisfies the hunger more. That's why I like it."

"I'm sure that's exactly the reason." Without invitation she brushed passed him.

At the contact, Damon closed his eyes and took in her intoxicating scent. He didn't know how his brother was able to control himself, even with animal blood in his system, whenever she was around. They were both poor bastards in this situation.

He followed her over to the couch. Already knowing Elena's answer, he still offered her a drink. His brow rose in instant suspicion when her answer was different. "So you're here to talk to me, you obviously don't want Stefan to know, and you've taken up drinking? What's going on, Elena?" Damon asked as he poured the dark golden liquid into two glasses.

Walking over to her, Damon swirled the liquor around in the glasses. His armed reached out to hand hers to her, but he kept his grip tight when she reached to take it from him. "I'm going to let go and you're going to tell me whatever you're thinking. Knowing you so well, I'm probably going to have to try and talk you out of it." His fingers slowly let go and he smirked again when she quickly took her arm back.

Elena moved her air behind her ear and rested the glass on her lap. "Fine, you can't tell Stefan. I mean it, Damon. I know that he's your brother and I'm his girlfriend, but I don't want him to be any part of this. Deal?"

He wanted to just agree with her so he could figure out what she was up to. If it was dangerous, which it almost always was, he just couldn't keep to from Stefan. He cared about Elena just as much as he did. The only thing that Stefan had that Damon didn't was her love in return. Elena trusted Damon and he couldn't believe that she still and came to him when she knows that he has broken it so many times before.

"Sure, I won't tell Stefan. Now, spill." He brought his glass to his lips and downed his drink in one gulp.

With a shaky hand, Elena copied his actions. She only took a small sip and winced as the bitter taste hit her tongue. The contents slightly numbed her throat as she swallowed it. "I want you to turn me."

"No." His answered slipped out as soon as she said the words.

"You didn't even give me a chance to explain. This is exactly why I came to you and not Stefan. All he would do is try and talk me out of it and I've made up my mind. I'm not going to back down." She rushed out. If she wanted to convince Damon to let her do this.

He wasn't going to let her do this. What reasons would she have to decided to become a vampire and miss out on a normal life? Elena would never get to experience aging, not that Damon could complain about that. Selfishly, he didn't want to feel the guilt about being the one to take that all way from her just because he couldn't bear not having her in his life. Most of all he never wanted to be the one to kill her.

"I don't need an explanation. My answer is final." He told her sternly.

"I know what to expect. I've seen what happens during transition and I now that it's tough to handle in the beginning. I happened to be around when Vicki was going through all of this. Plus, I'll have you to keep me on track."

Damon let out a bitter laugh. Then he sat down next to her. His eyes became fixated on her neck to see that the necklace that protected her from compulsion was no longer resting against her delicate skin. Damon forced Elena to look into his eye, hoping to compel her and make her forget ever thinking about the monstrosity of being what he was: a killer.

Elena turned her head away. When she jerked her body, the glass in her lap crashed to the floor. "I want this Damon and you can give it to me. I'm willing to go through the suffering." Her voice was soft, but determination was still apparent.

"Why? You say you want all this. I know that Stefan and I make it seem glamorous, well, me more than him, but why do you all of the sudden want to be turned? If it's so you can live happily ever, then you can save the sappiness."

She let out a sigh "

"Come on, Elena." He couldn't stand when she tested his patience. "You wanted me to hear you out and I'm waiting."

"This isn't about Stefan or anyone else other than me. When I first found out about the existence of vampires, Stefan told me that everything I know and believe was going to change and he was right. At first, I was freaked out and couldn't imagine that such things existed. I didn't understand how you could kill innocent people just for a drop of blood and not care. I know so much now, Damon. I just feel like I could be fully apart of it and I know that it seems like a sign that I'm giving up. I don't know how else to explain." With each word she felt like her body was coming more relaxed. Elena hoped that Damon believed her.

Damon shook his head. Her answer just didn't seem good enough for her to just let him hurt her. "You want to be apart of it? For the longest time, Elena, you hated me for what I did. I get that you feel like you should be a vampire because you're around us, but that's just not going to happen. As much as I hate to bring up Stefan, but how do you think he's going to react when he figures out that you're a vampire, hmm? Where do you think he's going to assume you got this idea from?"

"It's all me and I think Stefan will understand."

"And I think there are things that you're leaving out. You have a family, Elena, and you have friends. Do you want to lose all of that? I don't think that you do." His voice didn't come across as harsh as he wanted it to.

In frustration, Elena combed her hands through her long hair. At that point, Elena didn't know how else she was going to be able to convince Damon to let her have this. She was going to have to use a difference approach to get through to him and she knew just the right words. "I know you have this need to protect me."

"No, I don't. You just like getting into trouble and it gives me an excuse to kill others." He said in his defense.

"Well, if I get into any trouble, then I can protect myself. I wouldn't have to rely on you or Stefan." She stopped and dug into her jean pocket. In her fingers, she held up a ring and her necklace.

Damon rolled his eyes. "You just have all of this figured out, don't you?" He asked her sarcastically.

"That depends on your answer?"

He rested his head on the back of the couch. This was the last conversation that he wanted to have with Elena Gilbert. "You want this? Once I turn you, you can't force me to turn you back. It will be your eternity."

"A-are you saying yes?" Excitement bubbled in her voice.

Walking into the kitchen, Damon grabbed a cutting knife. The tip of the blade was sharp and almost unnoticeable. He couldn't believe what he was going to do and he knew that there was no clear reason as to why Elena wanted this. In a way, Damon felt like they would be connected. It was sick, twisted, and cruel to do to Elena. Somehow she wanted this and maybe this would shed light on the fact that she didn't really know what she wanted.

Back in the main room, Damon took another look at the girl he had fallen so in love with. She sat on the couch with her hands interlocked. There was an amount of pressure being put on her hands and her knuckles turned white. The girl was scared shitless. It was to be expected since she knew that in a matter of seconds Damon was going to break her neck and have her drink his blood. It wasn't going to be Stefan's blood. it was purely his.

"You can still back out, you know." He spoke, making his presence known.

Elena looked up to see him walking closer to him. "No, I want this, Damon. Would you just do it already?"

"Now, now, where's the joy? You're going to be a vampire!" His eyes widen as he tried to joke around with her one last time. He hadn't heard Elena laugh in over 24 hours and he wanted to hear it one last time before she no longer felt the emotion of happiness.

She closed her eyes, trying to choke her tears.

Damon walked over and kneeled in front of her. He rested the hand, that wasn't holding the knife, on her arm to try and comfort her. He wanted her to open her yes so he could figure out how she was really feeling. So far, he had witnessed her strong front and her strength actually worried him.

Elena took a few deep breaths in and out. She knew what she was getting into. Her night was spent going over her decision until she convinced herself that she wanted this.

"Please, Damon."

When Damon turned Vicki, he looked right into her eyes and snapped her neck. This was going to be much harder because he didn't think he could look Elena in the eye and he didn't want to hear her bones snapping.

Elena stood up and face Damon, preparing herself. She almost died once and it's said that drowning was a peaceful way of going, but before peace was brought, there was struggle. There wasn't going to be any struggling, until she opened her eyes and started gasping, even though she was never going to find peace in this.

Damon set the knife on the ground. Both of his hands cupped Elena's cheeks. His thumbs traced her soft skin. "Before I do this, there's just something I need to do. When you come back you're emotions are going to be heightened and hard to process. I need to do this now, Elena, and I want you to be just you."

Elena didn't say anything or move. All she did was stare back at him.

Damon leaned closer and covered his lips over hers. The kiss wasn't rough or urgent. He took his time and it was soft. Damon wasn't surprised when she didn't give in. The poor girl was afraid and bounded to his brother. When he pulled away, he placed one last kiss on her forehead. "I love you, Elena."

With his confession, her neck made the cracking sound that Damon wished he could forget. He caught the dead limp body of his love and slowly brought her to the floor. Reaching over to grab the knife, Damon sliced his wrist. The red liquid pooled at the sight of the cut. With the hand that rested behind her head, Damon brought her lips to meet his skin. His blood covered her mouth. His face became stone when he felt her suckling his wound.

The simplest thing, next to breathing, seemed like a difficult task to him. All Damon did was stand there. He wanted to open the door and see the rebirth of Elena, but he knew the agony that was going to rage through her body.

"What are you doing?"

Damon blinked to see that his brother had return from his hunting trip. There was a cold stern look on his features. Since Stefan was able to keep himself under control, he didn't trust Damon's way of life. He had tried to talk Damon into trying to live by his rules, but Damon had no interest in what Stefan was selling to him. They weren't human and as hard as Stefan tried to be, he was still so far away from that reality.

Without having a chance to answer, Stefan pushed Damon aside and looked into the window. At the sight of Elena's body on the floor, he became enraged. Swiftly he turned to Damon and pinned him against the door. "What did you do to her?"

This is my first Delena fic. Please let me know if you think I should continue it or not. Any kind of feedback is appreciated!