"Are you kidding me? You want to go for a walk on a snowy day?" I said, pointing out of the window where you can see snowflakes falling down from the sky. He pouted and still convinced me to walk with him.
"Don't worry, I'll hug you so you won't get cold!" He said to me and hugged me. This guy. Really does anything to grant his wish. But this is one of many reasons I love him. He's cute this way. I pulled him closer and pecked him on the lips.
"Fine. But hug me all the time." I said, his hands held my arms that placed on his shoulder. His face brightened even more. He smiled at me, and I can see his cheeks blushed. Our foreheads touching each other's.
"Yey!" He said. I laughed at him. He acts like a kid sometimes. He hugged me, I faced his chest and hugged him back. He was the first to release from the hug and he kissed my left cheek.
"Let's go!" He said enthusiastically as he stood up and grabbed our jacket. He handed me my brown jacket and I wore it on me. I looked for my gray muffler scarf, and finally found it on the sofa. I wore it aroumd my neck and put on my gloves then I went to Oikawa.
"Let's go." I said. He looked at me like I did something wrong. Have I?
"What?" I asked him. He shook his head and sighed. He went to me and took of my muffler and wore it around my neck again.
"You really don't fix your muffler when you wear it, huh." He said as he fixed it. I smiled at Oikawa. I leaned closer to him and kissed him.
"You're there anyway to always fix it." I said, and I knew my cheeks were already red. But I didn't care. Because I saw him blush too. He ruffled my hair and held my right hand. It's already his habit to ruffle my hair. A day never passes by without him messing my hair. But I liked it anyway.
"Let's go!" Oikawa pulled me and we went out. He locked the door and put the key under the pot beside the doorway. We walked to the park, and like what Oikawa said earlier, he hugged me while we walked. His left arm around my body. I turned my head to him, and there were snowflakes stuck on his hair. I can't help but laugh and find it cute at the same time.
"Are there snowflakes on my hair?" He asked as he touched the top of his head. I nodded and faced infront of where we're walking. I saw him from the corner of my eye, pouting.
"Hey, you have snowflakes on your hair too. So I should also laugh at you." He smiled and ruffled my hair again, causing the snow on my hair to fall off. I sticked out my tongue at him and he kicked me on my leg. We laughed at each other.
When we arrived at the park, I found a bench under a tree with no leaves, since it's winter. We walked there and sat on it. Our hands held each other's as we looked at the sky.
"It's so pretty." Oikawa said, his voice with a hint of amazement. He loved the snow. When we were kids, he once tried to eat snow, but then he spitted it out after tasting it. And we would always stare at the falling snow. He was captivated by them.
I turned my head and looked at his eyes. His brown eyes reflected the white snow, making it look like it's shining. I lifted his hand that I held and kissed it. He looked at me and smiled.
"Iwa-chan." He whispered softly. He then rested his head on my shoulder as continued to watch the snow fall. I extended my hand to my front, trying to catch a falling snowflake on my palm, and I succeeded. I showed it to Oikawa, who is so amazed.
"Wow Iwa-chan!" He said and hugged me and my hand shook, causing the snowflake to fall on the ground. I looked at it and back at Oikawa.
"Oh . . Sorry." He said. I smiled and held his hand.
"It's fine. I have you here beside me anyway." I kissed his forehead and wrapped him around my arms. I heard him giggle. And it was cute. Like a child's. Well, he is a child anyway.
"What do you want for Christmas, Iwa-chan?" He asked me. I began to think, and then I came up with an answer.
"You." I replied. He looked at me, his face all so red. And I felt mine turn red as well at the sight of him. He laughed and pulled the collar of my jacket and kissed me. The kiss was a little long, and he was the first to let go.
"I'm so lucky to have you." I looked at him as he wrapped his arms around my neck.
"So do I." I replied. He again ruffled my hair. This time, I did the same to him, and all the snow on his hair fell off, some on his shoulders.
We stayed seated for a while, and I decided that we go back because it's cold. I shrugged my shoulder, but Oikawa doesn't seem to wake up. This guy. Sleeping everywhere. I brushed his hair that covered his face to the back of his left ear. Slowly, I began to stand up and carry Oikawa on my back. His arms hugged my neck. So heavy.
We went back to our house and I laid him on our bed. I took off his muffler and gloves so he could sleep peacefully. I also took off mine and put it on the chair stool. I stood at the doorway and leaned on the wall, gazing at Oikawa's sleeping face. I went beside him and pecked him on the cheeks as I whispered, 'sleep well.'
The next few days, our relationship grew ever more. On Sundays, we would sit beside each other, cuddling one another as we watched tv. Before sleeping, we always kiss each other goodnight and wrap him in my arms.
Weeks passed and a few hours from now, we will be celebrating the Christmas Eve. Our friends arrived at our house. The guys from Karasuno, Hinata and Kageyama were still in a relationship. Their bond is still strong. Same goes for Kenma and Kuroo. Bokuto and Akaashi is also the same.
We were all at the kitchen, they were drinking beer. I can't handle my alcohol that well, so I only drunk juice. I looked around to find Oikawa, but he wasn't in the room.
"Oikawa!" I shouted his name, calling for him. I went upstairs to our room. I slowly opened the door, and found Oikawa lying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. I smiled, thinking nothing was wrong, and approached him. I kissed his cheek and began to talk.
"Come down, you're missing the fun with the guys." I said. He didn't react. He continued to stare blankly on the ceiling. I ruffled his hair and I began to think something is wrong.
"Is something bothering you?" I asked him, and that's when he sat up and shook his head.
"No, nothing." He smiled weakly. I can see from his eyes that something really is wrong, but I can't tell what it is. He held my hand and kissed my cheek weakly.
"Let's go downstairs now." He said, his voice less lively than before. Is he sick? I held his hand and we both went downstairs, the others were laughing and exchanging stories. Kenma was already asleep in Kuroo's arms. Suga and Daichi sat beside each other, laughing alomg with the others.
Me and Oikawa sat beside them, and I gave him my juice for him to drink. The strong smell of alcohol lingered in the room, which irritated me a little. While we were at the living room, Oikawa suddenly stood up and walked out of the house.
"Oikawa!" I chased him right after he left the door. The others looked worried and were probably thinking what's wrong with Oikawa.
I chased him until we reached the park where we went earlier. He stopped at the place where we sat. His back faced me. We were a meter apart from each other as I tried to catch my breath.
"Oikawa, what's wrong?" I asked him. Not long after, I heard him sobbing. I was surprised, I immediately hugged him from behind.
"Why? What's wrong? Tell me." I said, locking him in my arms. Then he slowly faced me. His cheeks wet from his tears, and his nose turning red from the cold night, and he isnt even wearing any jacket, neither do I.
I hugged him again, making sure that he stays warm in my arms. Then he began to whisper.
"I'm sorry, Iwa-chan, but . . I can't be with you."
Those words surprised me. It left me speechless for a while.
"What do you mean . . ?" I asked, a tear already fell from my eyes. I heard him cry even louder
"I'm . . . breaking up with you." I froze. Thoughts suddenly entered my mind. Why is he suddenly breaking up with me? Is it because I did something wrong? Is it because of me? Did I do something that made him mad?
"Why? Is it because of my character? You know I can fix that. Is it because of my sleeping habits? I'll stop snoring if you don't like it." I said as I hugged him even tighter. And many tears has already escaped from my eyes.
"No, it's not you . . . "
"Then what? Please tell me."
"I'm sorry." I heard him sniff and cried.
"Please." I whispered.
"I'm sorry Iwa-chan, but I have no other choice." His voice sounded shaky.
"Stay, please . . Stay." I kept on begging. He let go of my hug and touched my left cheek.
"I'll miss you." He said before started running to a place I didn't know. There I was, stumbled on the snowy ground, my tears flowing endlessly. If only he told me the reason. Then I would know. My heart felt like it was being ripped in pieces. It hurts like hell. It hurts me so much.
"Iwaizumi!" I heard someone call my name. I knew who it was. Bokuto and the others. I placed my right hand on the left side of my chest. It feels so . . painful. I cried and shouted Oikawa's name. I want him to come back. Please, Oikawa. Come back.
The next day, the guys visited me. I was depressed. I don't want to get out of my bed. I hugged the pillow Oikawa used all the time, and is wet with my tears. I wrapped myself into the blankets we used, trying to find his scent.
The pictures that hanged on the wall. The happy memories we made, were all shattered with just those words. I looked at the wall, with a blank expression. I was in no mood to answer the door, even though they were shouting my name.
The one whom I want to call out my name is Oikawa. I want him back in my arms. I want his beside me again.
Months after, winter ended and came spring. I wasn't eating well. And whenever I tried to, I end up vomiting it all out. The pictures still hung on the wall. And Oikawa's things were left the way they were eversince that Christmas Eve.
I looked out the window, staring at the flying birds as I held my cup of coffee. And suddenly my phone rang, it was Kuroo. I hadn't notice that I have 67 missed calls. I never looked at my phone since I've been this depressed. It was all fron Kageyama, Bokuto, Kuroo, Daichi.
I answered the phone, but I didn't talk.
"Good thing you finally picked it up! Hurry! Come to the hospital! Oikawa is-" I didn't heard the last thing he said. The moment I heard the name Oikawa, my world stopped.
"Get it?! Now hurry up and come here quickly!" Kuroo ended the call. I wasn't sure what he said at the last part, but I immediately headed out and went to the hospital. I went to the counter and asked the nurse to where Oikawa Tooru is.
"He's currently in the Operating Room." I rushed to the place she told me. And when I arrived, I found the guys sitting outside the room. Some were leaning against the wall.
I slowly walked to them. I saw the look on their faces. Gloomy. Down. It's like they're having a mental breakdown. I saw Kuroo who is sitting on the floor, hugging Kenma beside him. When he noticed me, he stood up, releasing Kenma for a moment, and looked at me.
"Oikawa . . Oikawa is . . " My heart began to beat faster. But not like before, it's beating fast because I was nervous. Nervous of what he might say about what happened to Oikawa.
He was about to continue his sentence when the doors of the Operating Room opened. They were pushing a hospital bed infront of them, doctors and nurses, wearing surgical masks, walked slowly. The body that was on it was covered in white blanket.
I saw the doctor shook his head as he took off his mask.
"He didn't make it." He said. "His heart stopped functioning at the middle of the operation." I looked at the corpse infront of me. This can't be what I'm thinking.
Without hesitation, I took off the blanket that covered it's face. The next thing I knew, tears rolled down my face. It was Oikawa. Oikawa is . . . Dead.
"Iwaizumi . . " I heard them whisper my name. I fell on my knees, as I held Oikawa's cold, stiff hand and cried even more. I thought I was going to see you again, and I did. But I never excpected our meeting to be like this.
"We found this in the patient's pocket." The doctor said as he handed a folded piece of paper. Bokuto received it with both hands and gave it to me.
"Iwa . . " He said as I took the folded paper and opened it. I read what's written. And it all contained the truth about why he broke up with me, despite not telling the reason in person.
Dear, Iwa-chan
How should I say it? But, you see. I've been wanting to tell this to you, but I can't because I know it would hurt you more to find out that I can't forever be with you when my life won't go the way I want it.
I have a cancer. The kind which my mother had. And it hurts to find out that I have carried the same disease. The night I broke up to you, I was so eager to tell you this, but I told myself that if I didn't tell you the reason, you'd hate me and forget me in your life for breaking up with you, thinking that I don't have any reason.
The others already knew. I told them ever since I found out about it. I told them not to tell you, and for you to read this letter that you are holding now. I'm so sorry, Iwa-chan.
But, I love you. I'm trying my best to survive, fighting with my cancer because I still want to be by your side. Hold hands with you and hug you in my arms. Wake up every morning, finding you beside me. Take long walks with you and hold each other's hand. But I don't know if I'll succeed.
If anything happens, the only thing I wish for you is to be happy and continue living your life.
Be happy, for me, please. I love you, Iwa-chan.
~Oikawa.
I froze and my eyes grew wider. Doesn't he know that it hurts me more to find this out late? That it hurts more to see him, a happy person, now a corpse? How did it make it easier for me? It all turned harder for me to accept reality.
I cried even louder, hugging the letter he wrote as the others tried to comfort me. This left a wound in my heart. No, not a wound. A scar. A deep scar that could never heal.
Days after the funeral, I visit him every other day, leaving flowers on his tomb. He was buried beside his mother. I can't help but cry whenever I reminisce about what we've been through together. I cannot contain the sadness that I feel inside.
The wind blew and brushed against my face. And I swear I heard Oikawa's voice as the wind howled.
"Iwa-chan. I love you."
I smiled, looking at the bright sky.
"I love you, forever and always. . . "