Battlefield

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor any of its characters. I wish I did, but I don't.

Just an idea I got from an RP I did with a friend, and also inspired by Lea Michele's "Battlefield". Rachel's a famous porn star in LA, while Finn's a simple, shy, quiet, and struggling videographer that Rachel had a crush on in high school when she was a freshman and he was a senior. Simple one-shot I wrote late last night.

He was so perfect. Everything about him. Even as he was just sleeping, and she was watching his chest move up and down with every breath he took. His brown hair was ruffled, mainly from all the sex they had that night. Half of it was lovemaking. Actually, most of it was.

The sheet that she was using to cover up her breasts was hanging down low at his hips, revealing his impressively muscular abdomen. For a moment, she considered tracing his abs with a finger, but she decided against it. He'd come home late, and she'd been up waiting, insisting on a few rounds before they tuckered the both of them out. Poor man was doing all he could to please her.

As if she deserved it.

It made her sick, every time she thought about it. How he was just so fucking perfect, and she was just so fucked up. He didn't deserve it. All the hell she was putting him through, every day when she went to work.

He never once complained about it, but she knew what she was doing to him. He was there every single evening when she came to his apartment so that she could receive the proper treatment she deserved, as he liked to so often tell her. What did she give him in return? She went to work, and had sex multiple times with men who were more than happy to fuck her for her body. Work was work, wasn't it? And men were men, work or not.

She saw it in his eyes every time he asked her how work was. She saw how that sparkle in his eyes disappeared more and more each day. It was killing him inside. He never uttered a word about it. He just told her he loved her, and held her until she fell asleep on his chest.

It seemed like a good idea at first. When she'd accidentally bumped into him in that coffee shop. Her biggest crush in high school when she was a freshman and he was a senior, then later became her tutor. He was quiet, shy, and awkward, but he was hot as hell. He was incredibly sweet and a gentleman, and she was determined to help him come out of his shell. It was a shame that the world didn't know the man. They knew him now, thanks to her.

One of his short films was taken in by one of Hollywood's biggest producers, and he was on his way to becoming the next big thing.

She'd been his first kiss, and his first partner. She'd taken his virginity. He trusted her enough to give it up to her. He'd never seen her films, and didn't want to, either. He didn't want them to taint his view of her. She was his girlfriend, not some naked figure everyone idolized. She was normal. And she loved that about him. He treated her…normal.

He was her perfect boyfriend, her lover, her soulmate. And what was she? She was filthy. Dirty. And what was worse, was that she enjoyed it. She had found something she was good at, and she loved hearing people tell her how amazing she was. It also sickened her. People loved her body and the sounds she could elicit. Not her. They didn't love her.

But he did. And he reminded her every moment he had. Every morning they'd wake up together, and every night, he told her. During the day, he'd call or text her. Even send her flowers. He did all he possibly could to let her know that she was loved.

And how did she repay him? She went on about her day, having sex with other men who weren't her boyfriend, like it was nothing.

But it was killing him inside. Those eyes of his that watched her with adoration were hiding the hurt inside. She knew it.

Of course, she wanted to choose him over her job. Anyone in Hollywood would kill to have her in one of their Rated R or Not Rated films. But this job? It was who she was. She wasn't any better than just being a porn star. Being adored for her body. Nobody knew who she really was, nor did they care. She'd done this to herself. She never thought she was good enough, so she took what she knew she was best good at, sex, and started her career with it.

She never thought she'd fall so hard for someone. She was sure that every man she'd ever date would just want to fuck her, nothing else. It's happened before, and she fell for every single one of their tricks. She wanted to be loved so badly, that for just one night, she believed these men loved her for her. They never did.

He was different. He loved her. Her heart, her mind, her soul, and body, all equally. He was perfect.

And here she was, about to break his heart. She had to do it. Because she wasn't good enough for him, and she never would be.

The tear that thought it would fall from her eye without her permission was immediately wiped from her cheek. This…beautiful and wonderful person was lying beside her, remaining ever so faithful to her. It was going to be the most difficult thing she's ever had to do.

Her heart was already sobbing, begging her to rethink. To quit her job, damn any consequences, and to just remain in this man's loving arms. But no. Her mind knew she couldn't do that. She had already made her decision. She needed to do this.

"Rach?" a groggy voice asked.

Her wide eyes darted up to his face. She was tight in his warm embrace, and she desperately attempted to hide any evidence of the fact that she was so upset.

"Mm?"

One of his hands came up to brush through her long, mica brown hair, and a smile graced his lips before he even opened his eyes. And when he did, she smiled right back. "You're so beautiful," he said sincerely, like he did almost every morning. She wasn't hot, or sexy, or fuckable. No, she was beautiful. She loved hearing him say it. "I love you so much, Rachel Berry."

That was as far as she could take it. Her heart was pounding so loudly, she was surprised he couldn't hear it. She thought she was going to be sick.

Immediately, she sat straight up and shut her eyes as she took a few deep breaths.

"Rachel?" he asked, concern in his voice.

She had to do it. She would be selfish if she didn't. He deserved better. A million times better. She was at the lowest of the low. He deserved to be with a queen. Not some low-life whore whose naked body popped up on the screen of every male in the world. She needed to let go of him, so she didn't hurt him further.

"Finn…there's something I need to talk to you about," she said, choking as she said his name, and then opened her eyes.

Maybe it was lust at first, but they both fell in love with each other. It could have been perfect. At this point, she would have married him if he asked. But she couldn't live with herself knowing how she was torturing him, killing him slowly. She'd rather die than see that look in his eyes again, those adoring eyes, after asking her how work went that day.

He was perfect. He deserved perfect. She wasn't perfect.

R & R? Please? Haven't written in a while, so I'd love to know what you guys think!