Downton Abbey doesn't belong to me.

Another Chance

"I'm sorry, Matthew, I can't do this," Mary told him, willing the tears not to fall. She couldn't do this; she couldn't marry Matthew after what she'd done.

"Why?" Matthew was confused. He loved Mary and he knew that she loved him. "If you need more time to consider my offer…"

"I don't need more time," Mary interrupted him. "I can't marry you Matthew and you wouldn't want to marry me either if you knew what I've done." She looked up him and saw the hurt in his eyes but forced herself to walk off, to leave him standing there staring after her in puzzlement and hurt. It was for the best she told herself, it was best she broke it off before it even began, before Matthew found out about Pamuk and despised her for it.

Eight years later

"So you're finally having dinner with Richard," Anna teased Mary, "it's only taken you six months. But, my dear, are you sure?"

Anna was Mary's best friend and they'd known each other since they were little girls, it was Anna who knew the exact details of what had happened with Kemal Pamuk, she was the one who knew why Mary had refused Matthew Crawley, she was one who had encouraged Mary to pursue the career in writing when her family were against it and now she was the one against the idea of Mary seeing Sir Richard Carlisle in more than a professional capacity.

"You're the one who's always saying that I should get a life," Mary reminded her.

"A life," Anna agreed, "not getting involved with Richard Carlisle. I don't like him."

"I know," Mary said, "you've only told me a thousand times and I admit he is a bit hard and ruthless but he needed to be in order to succeed."

Anna didn't reply.

Mary was known as The Ice Queen, because she was generally cold to people she didn't know and she never let anyone get close enough to know her. She knew what she wanted and went after it, most of the time uncaring of who got hurt in the process. She was a great writer and her books were bestsellers, however her people skills were severely lacking.

"It's not like I'm getting married to the man," Mary continued, "We're just sharing a meal with about a dozen other people."

000

"You can't be serious," Mary told Carlisle later that evening.

"Why not?" Carlisle replied. "Did you want me to first ply you with gifts and declarations of undying love, we're both levelheaded people, we would make this work."

"I hardly know you," Mary reminded him. "That's a perquisite for marriage surely."

"Not all marriages," Carlisle said. "You've surely heard of arranged marriages and the like."

"Richard, please be serious."

"Mary, I told you, I've been watching you for years and I even know all about that unfortunate …er…incident with the young Turk, but that is not the point."

Mary couldn't believe her ears. Was he really going to try and blackmail her into marrying him?

"Don't worry, my dear," Carlisle continued, "I only bring up the incident with the Turk to show how well I know you not to pressure you into marrying me."

"Really?"

"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have begun with that," Carlisle conceded. "I know how you were able to convince your father to let you be the heir to Downton Abbey and the whole estate, how you have managed to save it from ruin with your books, how you helped your sister Sybil with her …"

"Stop," Mary put up her hand to silence him, "I don't need you to remind me of what I've done."

"So, will you at least think about it?" Carlisle asked her.

000

"The scary part is that I'm considering it."

Anna put down her cup and stared at Mary. "You can't be serious, so he knows what you've done; it doesn't mean you have to marry him."

"It's not like he's the worst man in the world," Mary said, "he's no Greek god in looks, but he's actually quite funny and he knows all my dirty laundry and still wants to marry me. Plus, he's not a fortune hunter."

"Mary."

"I know," Mary said, "I don't love him but who knows maybe I could learn to love him. Besides I loved Matthew and you know how that ended."

It was the first time Mary had said Matthew's name…willingly in conversation, in years. Matthew Crawley had left Downton that summer and returned to Manchester to continue his law practice. A few years later, two to be exact, he'd married a young woman called Lavinia Swire. The whole family had been invited for the wedding, of course, but Mary had been away and hadn't attended the ceremony. He had two daughters, and he and his family had been to Downton several times to visit – luckily Mary had been in London during visits. She didn't begrudge him the fact that he had managed to find another woman to love and marry, after all she was the one who had refused to marry him, but she didn't want to see him, didn't want to imagine what could have been if they had married.

000

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

Mary started to smile at the man who had almost knocked her off her feet and her smile froze in place. "Matthew."

"Hello, Mary," he replied, "it's been a few years. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Very fine, thank you."

"Congratulations on yet another great book," Matthew said.

"Thank you."

"So how have you been, you're never there when we visit Downton," Matthew said.

"I spend most of my time in London," Mary replied, "working, you know."

He nodded. Why wasn't he continuing on his way? Mary wondered. Surely he had things to do. "How are Lavinia and the girls?" she asked. "Fine," Matthew replied, "we're all here in town to visit with Reggie, Lavinia's father."

000

"Here, I made it all by myself." A voice said triumphantly. "Granma Isobel showed me how."

Mary opened her eyes slowly, looked around the room and read the bedside clock, 7:15 AM, and looked at the young girl with blue eyes and dark brown hair holding something which looked like it is supposed to be a cake but wasn't quite yet.

"Mummy, aren't you going to eat it?" the girl asked her.

"Of course, I will," Mary replied automatically, and sat up in the bed and took it from her.

"Cora, Cora, where are you?"

Matthew entered the room, smiling apologetically at Mary, he picked up the girl and said in loud whisper, "Cora, darling, it's supposed to be surprise, for mummy's birthday tomorrow. She isn't supposed to know about it until then."

"I'm sorry, mummy," Cora said, a wobbly smile on her face, "I didn't mean ruin your birthday surprise."

Mary was still too stunned to speak. If this was a dream it the most realistic dream she'd ever had. Matthew took the child out of the room and returned and sat on the bed. "I know I promised that I'd stay home today and help with the arrangements for the parents' visit but I have to go in, Murray needs my help with the Dawson case, but I'll try and be back by lunch time." He dropped a kiss on her forehead and headed for the bathroom.

What was going on? Mary wondered to herself.

000

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