Song fic about Grissom, alone after Sara left
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation or anything associated with it,
Grissom came home that morning after the most emotionally draining day he had ever had at work: The day Sara Sidle walked out of his life. He knew in his subconscious that Sara wouldn't be able to take the kind of life they had been living very long, but now that she was gone, he was just broken, completely shattered. He knew that Catherine was disgusted by the way that he seemed uncaring about the fact that Sara left, but at least she didn't voice her opinion to the team, who would hate him if they knew he was the one that drove Sara away. He knew that in her letter she had said it wasn't him, it was her, and her past, and all that, but he knew that it was mostly a load of bull. He knew that Sara needed to be loved, and he couldn't even get up the courage to tell her that he loved her. In most people's eyes, that would tell them that he didn't love her, though that was a far cry from the truth. In fact, he loved her so much that he thought he would burst. The only problem was that he just couldn't get those three little words to pass his lips. When he got home, he dropped his stuff in the bedroom, and just felt despair, not anger, not sadness, just despair. He honestly didn't know how he was going to get through this without Sara, his Sara, with those big brown eyes, and that flowing brown hair, he felt love surging through his heart just thinking about her.
Alone in this house again tonight, I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine, there's pictures of you and I on the walls around me, the way that it was and could've been surrounds me, I'll never get over you, walking away,
He grabbed a bottle of wine, the only alcohol he had in his house. He sank down onto the couch, and instantly smelled her, her sweet scent. Tears welled in his eyes, but wouldn't come down. He flipped the TV on, found a station he liked, and turned the sound down. He looked around the room, and saw pictures of her, and pictures of the two of them together covering the walls around him. He swallowed some more wine, and distantly wondered what the team would think of their strong, fearless leader if they saw him here, broken, almost drunk, and not able to cry about losing the love of his life. He was so absorbed in his own pain that he didn't hear the phone ring several times, and didn't see the text messages that kept popping up on his cell. He just didn't care, not at all.
And I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show, and I thought that being strong meant never losing self-control, but I'm just drunk enough, to let go of my pain, to help with my pride, let it fall like rain from my eyes, tonight I wanna cry,
Grissom had never been the one to show emotion while working on a case. Sure he had shown some anger here and there, but that was about it. He had always thought that being strong meant never losing self control, never letting anyone see him cry, break, or anything. He knew that that was his problem, he never led anyone in, because he wanted to protect his heart, he never let anyone in because he was afraid to get hurt. That was when he realized that Sara had been in his heart all along, and he had never realized it. That was when his emotional barrier finally went down, and the pain he had been holding back finally flowed freely down his cheeks. He didn't bother to wipe them away, just let the tears fall. He just couldn't believe she was gone, she was really, truly gone.
Would it help if I turned a sad song on, all by myself, would sure hit me hard now that you're gone, or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters, it's gonna hurt bad before it, gets better, but I'll never get over you, by hiding this way,
A week passed, with Grissom crying every night, alone in his townhouse. On Monday morning, when Catherine got home that morning, she found Warrick in with Lindsey, listening to her music with her. She smiled, and called for Warrick. He came over and kissed her good morning just as the doorbell rang. Warrick hid in the bedroom while Cath answered the door.
"Sara!" She said surprised, and that shout had Warrick coming out of the bedroom. Sara walked in and said,
"Hey Warrick," He put his arm around her, and she didn't show any sign of putting two and two together, Warrick in Catherine's house right after shift. Catherine and Warrick shrugged at each other and Catherine led Sara into the living room
"Sara, what's wrong?"
"I, I can't leave, I've tried so many times, crossing the border, but, but, I just can't there's always something holding me back, and I just can't, figure out what it is," Sara said, burying her head in her hands. Catherine nodded to Warrick, and he left to go back to Lindsey. Catherine sat next to Sara and let her cry it out. When she was done, Catherine said,
"I believe the reason you can't leave, is because you love a certain someone too much." Sara looked at Catherine, and said,
"You think so?"
"Yeah, I do,"
"But, but, I don't think he loves me, he's never told me he loves me, and he never opened up to me. I've told him everything, and he almost never shows any emotion." Sara said sadly, and Catherine says,
"Well, that's Grissom for you, he's weird like that Sara, get used to it," Sara smile weakly, and then Catherine says quietly,
"Go to him, Sara, he needs you, I've seen him, he's a wreck, he definitely needs you," Sara nodded, got up and went to see Lindsey and Warrick before she left. She hugged Warrick and he said,
"So, are you coming back to CSI?"
"Let me think about it, because if, never mind, I'll let you know," Warrick knows what she was about to say and says,
"If Gris doesn't love you, you're going to leave?"
"I can't stay here with him if he doesn't love me, it would just be too hard, Warrick," He nods knowingly, and just before she leaves, she whispered to Warrick,
"If you break her heart, I am personally going to come after you Warrick Brown, got it?" He looks shocked, but nods. She smiles warmly at him and walks out.
'Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show, and I thought that being strong meant never losing self-control, but I'm just drunk enough, to let go of my pain, to help with my pride, let it fall like rain from my eyes, tonight I wanna cry,
Sara slowly drives over to Grissom's townhouse, scared about what will happen. While she was at Catherine's house, Grissom was walking around, taking down all the pictures of him and Sara. He put them lovingly in a box and tucked it away in the closet. He sat back down and looked at the bottle of wine. He grabbed it and poured it all down the drain; he wasn't using alcohol as a way to solve his problems that night. No way was he going to get drunk again; he was stronger than that, that's for sure. He paces around the townhouse, thinking. He finally decides that he needs to know whether Sara loves him or not, and strides to the door. Meanwhile, Sara slowly walks up to the door and takes a deep breath, getting ready to knock. Just as her hand nears the door, it swings open and there stands Gil Grissom. Grissom yanks the door open, and nearly has a heart attack when he sees the woman standing there. Sara Sidle, his Sara. He swallows, and she says quietly,
"Hi,"
"Hey," He manages, and then steps aside so she can come in. She half smiles as she walks past him, and nearly has a panic attack when she accidentally brushes up against him and gets shocked. She walks in, and notices that he took the pictures down which sends her heart plummeting. She finally turns and faces Grissom. He's watching her, with an odd expression on his face. She swallows and says,
"Gil, I came here because, well, Catherine convinced me too,"
"Remind me to thank her," Grissom says quietly, and Sara looks confused. He shrugs, and she nods once.
Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show, and I thought that being strong meant never losing self-control, but I'm just drunk enough, to let go of my pain, to help with this pride, let it fall like rain from my eyes, tonight I wanna cry,
She looks at his face, and with a jolt she realizes that he had been crying. If that didn't answer her question, nothing else would.
"You've been crying," She said quietly, and he bit his lip, and said,
"Is it that obvious?"
"Not really," She says, and he nods. Then, they both start talking at once, with Sara saying,
"Gil, I…" and Grissom saying,
"Sara, I'm…" They both look at each other and try again,
"Gris, I'm so…"
"Sara, I've been…" They both stop and shake their heads. Grissom says,
"Go ahead, you first,"
"No, you first, go ahead," He looks at her and his question in answered by the look in her eyes. He just sighs and says,
"Well, talkings overrated right now," He grabs her shoulders and draws her to him, and she puts her hands on his face and their lips meet, each telling the other that they loved them. When they back away, Grissom looks at her and she whispers,
"Can we talk? Please?" He nods, and sits down on the couch, and she sits down next to him. For the next hour they talk, and then Sara leans into Grissom, and he wraps his arms around her and whispers with difficulty,
"I, I love you, Sara," She looks at him with shock in her eyes, and then smiles warmly and says,
"I love you too, Gil," He smiles, and she settles down in his arms, and they eventually fall asleep.
That song was 'Tonight I Wanna Cry' by Keith Urban, fits Grissom right after Sara leaves, don't you think? Well, read the epilogue, it's when Sara returns to CSI, and some more GSR. Please review, it would mean so much to me!