Hi! This is something that just popped into my head while I was trying to sleep last night. Hope you like =]
"Damn it Sam! I said I'm sorry!"
Dean apologized for what seemed like the hundredth time in 10 minutes.
"Well 'sorry' isn't bringing my two grand back Dean! I mean, what were you thinking!"
Dean frowned, shoving his hands in his pockets. He had gotten cocky at the pool table again. He had been drinking, again. He had over bet, again. And just as he was about to sink the $2,000 shot, he got distracted by a slut in a tight skirt and missed…again. To say Sam was furious would be an understatement.
"You always do this Dean! You get too caught up in the moment and then manage to get distracted by a chick!"
Dean followed Sam back to the room, looking down at the ground guiltily. "I know Sammy, I'm really sorry okay?" He didn't like making Sam upset. It hurt worse than any physical pain he'd ever endured. Hurt worse than his 40 years in hell.
"I'll make it up to you okay?" He offered weakly, watching his brother and boyfriend tear through his duffle bag angrily.
"Don't worry about it Dean, I'm just going to shower and go to bed, okay? Alone."
That last part stung. Sam was really mad this time.
"Okay Sam," Dean said quietly, watching his brother slam the bathroom door in his face. When he heard the shower turn on, Dean grabbed the Impalas keys and headed back out into the night.
Dean stumbled into the hotel room a little after 4 am. He peeled off his jacket with a slight hiss before setting it on the hotel table. He stuffed his hand into his jean pocket and drew out the wad of sweaty bills. He fanned them out and counted them, worried he lost some in transit. He had made a little over $4,000 tonight. Not too bad considering he was only gone for about 3 hours. He set the bills on the table next to his jacket before grabbing the notepad from the bedside drawer. He ripped a sheet off and began to scribble a note for Sammy.
Sam,
I'm really sorry I lost your money tonight. I promise I'll do better in the future. I hope this makes up for it. I love you.
Sorry again.
-Dean.
He set the note on top of the bills before pulling his jeans off his thighs and limping into the shower to wash off his sweat.
Sam woke up at 6:30 am on the dot. He hardly ever slept in any more. Cases generally didn't allow it. He frowned when he noticed his bed was empty. Sure, he had told Dean he wanted to sleep alone, but the best thing about Dean was his stubbornness. Whenever they fought, no matter who was at fault, Dean would crawl into his bed and grovel until Sam gave in. So this morning, it was extremely weird for Dean to be in his own bed. Sam was about to call out to wake him but decided against it. Dean hardly ever slept through the night anymore, and Sam felt guilty waking him. Instead, he pulled himself out of bed and began to make them some coffee.
Sam was so caught up in wording his own apology he almost missed the note on the table.
Sam.
I'm really sorry I lost your money tonight. I promise I'll do better in the future. I hope this makes up for it. I love you.
Sorry again.
-Dean
Sam put the note down and began to leaf through the cash. His eyes almost flew out of his skull when he finished counting. Dean had somehow managed to collect $4,275 dollars in the time he had been asleep. Sam did wake him this time.
"Dean?" He asked quietly, sitting on the other twin bed. When he got no response, he shook him slightly and spoke louder. "Dean!"
Dean jerked out of bed, eyes wild and frightened like a deer in the headlights.
"Jesus Sammy! What? What's wrong?!"
"Where did you get that money?"
"Huh?" Dean was still half asleep and didn't really process what Sam said.
"I said, where did you get that money?"
"Damn it Sam," Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes, falling back into bed. He had to bite his lip to keep from yelling out when his muscles screamed in protest. "I thought it was something important."
"It is important!" Sam practically shouted, yanking Dean back towards him. Dean whimpered this time.
"I challenged the biker to a rematch okay? Double or nothing." He lied.
"But- you didn't have any money..."
"It's a good thing I won then, eh Sammy?"
Sam was quiet for a while, long enough that Dean flipped over in bed to check on him.
"Sammy?"
"You didn't have to do that." He said, guilt written all over his sweet, puppy dog face.
"Sure I did Sam." Dean placed his hand on Sam's face, "I lost your money by being a jackass. It was only fair I got it back. The extra cash is just a bonus for a job well done." He tried to smile but even his face hurt this morning.
Sam smiled smally and pressed his face into Dean's hand, turning to kiss his palm. "Thank you." He said, before leaning down and taking Deans lips in his own.
Dean kissed Sam back easily, his smile making the kiss sloppy. Sammy had forgiven him. That made all of last night, or more this morning, worth it.
"You know, you only owed me $2,000 of it Dean. I think maybe I should be repaying you."
Dean smiled and pulled Sam in closer, kissing him hard even as his jaw screamed in protest.
"You don't have to do that Sammy."
"Oh, but I want to Dean," the youngest smirked, straddling his older brothers hips and grinding down hard.
The pained gasp that flew out of Dean's mouth startled both of them, but mostly Sam. He was off Dean in half a second.
"Oh my god! I'm sorry! Did I hurt you? Dean?!"
Dean bit his lip hard and shook his head, "Naw, I'm okay." He lied through clenched teeth. "Just slept wrong is all."
He motioned Sam back to him and the youngest sat on him softly.
"Come on Sam, I'm not made of porcelain." He teased, hoping he would be able to fuck Sam without too much more pain.
Sam grinned evilly and leaned down, gripping Deans hips hard as he bit at his neck.
"Fuck!" Dean hissed, bucking Sam off as pain radiated through his entire body.
"Dean! Dean what's wrong?" Sam asked frantically.
"Nothing," Dean hissed, gripping his abdomen tight and rolling onto his side. "I told you, I slept wrong."
"Bullshit!" Sam spat, knowing when he brother was lying to him. "Something's wrong. Let me see."
"No," Dean groaned weakly, tying hard to push his brother's wondering hands off him.
"Damn it Dean! Stop it! Let me see!" Sam, being the taller of the two, used his leverage to get what he wanted. He had Dean's pajama bottoms off in seconds and his shirt following shortly after.
Dean covered himself as best he could, curling his body in on itself so Sam wouldn't see the deep purple bruises that littered his hips, or the bite mark on his right pectoral muscle. But it was too late. Sam saw everything. Dean watched as a million scenarios flashed before brothers eyes.
"D-Dean?"
"Stop looking at me like that Sammy," he growled, pulling the covers over his damaged body.
"Dean what- what really happened?"
"Nothing..."
"Don't lie to me!" Sam screamed, eyes filling with tears as he looked at his battered and bruised lover.
It took a while for Dean to gather up enough courage to process the events let alone retell them. A heavy sigh pulled through his chest.
"I couldn't find the biker last night." He started, keeping his eyes forward and away from Sam's. "I wanted to get the money for you so- I found someone who could supply it."
"W-Who did you find Dean?"
"I don't know his name, didn't ask. Some trucker at the gas station down the street."
"Dean-"
"I gave him an offer he couldn't refuse," he joked weakly, trying to use humor to cover up the seriousness of the situation. "He only had a grand though. But I took the deal anyway."
Sam was quiet so Dean continued. "He wasn't the worst though. Only wanted a hand job, said it 'wouldn't count as gay' that way. I was in and out in under 10 minutes."
"Dean-"
"The second guy wasn't too bad either. Offered to pay me $1,200 for a blow job. It's not like I haven't given a million before, so I did. He was really rough with my mouth though. My jaw still hurts. And no Sam, before you ask I didn't come home with anything. Dude wore a condom."
It was getting harder and harder to get to the end of the story. He was sure Sam would leave him after he told him. It's not like it wasn't expected though. Dean definitely had it coming.
"The last guy- he was the worst. Offered over $2,000 for a fuck. I usually don't let them fuck me Sammy, you gotta know that. But- it was enough. I wanted to give you extra for fucking up so royally. He was rough. Worst hour of my life Sam, but best payday I've had in years. I- came home after that."
Dean was quiet after telling the story. He didn't dare look at Sam for fear of what he might see. Rejection, disgust, hate, just to name a few possibilities. He waited for Sam to scream, to call him a whore and beat the shit out of him for cheating on him. But it never came. After a good 10 minutes of silence, Dean finally spoke. "I'm so sorry Sammy."
What Sam did next surprised him, he leaned down and kissed Dean's forehead. He continued kissing down Dean's skin, over the bite mark and on each of the deep purple bruises.
"Sammy?"
"Dean. Before you say anything, I need to ask you something first."
Dean swallowed nervously but nodded for Sam to continue.
"You said- you said you usually don't let 'them' fuck you. You also said- I-it was the best payday you've had in years. H-Have you done this before?"
Dean was sure he was asking about prostitution but he was also asking the time line.
"Not since we got together."
"Then-"
"When you left for Stanford." Dean finished.
Sam sensed there was more to the story so he sat next to Dean quietly, holding his hand and kissing it. Letting Dean know he wasn't going anywhere.
"Alright. You left, right? And- it was just me and dad. He was always too busy hunting or drinking to make sure we ate so, I had to do something. I tried hustling pool for a while but, I never came up with enough. One night, in a bar in Lawrence, some asshole came up to me and started cruising me. He told me, 'I could make a lot of money with that pretty mouth of mine.' Of course, I broke his jaw. It started sometime after that. Any time dad would be out drinking, I'd go out too. I made $3,000 the first night Sam. On just hand jobs. I knew dad would be suspicious if I came home with that much money, so I hid most of it away and used only what we needed for food."
"What did you do with the other money?" Sam asked curiously, the previous jealously faded and replaced with deep sadness for his lover and brother.
"I-uh was saving it. For you."
"Me?"
"I wanted you to have a normal life Sammy. You deserved it. I knew dad would never pay for your school, and I knew you could probably get a free ride with that big brain of yours, but I wanted to help anyway. I had over $100,000 saved for you Sammy."
Sam's heart swelled at the kind gesture. Dean was always looking out for him. Even after he deserted them both. He was happy at school, but it killed him to know what Dean had to go through here without him. Dean's use of the past tense didn't go unnoticed. He almost didn't want to ask.
"What happened Dean?"
Dean's eyes went hard and he glared at the ceiling. "Dad."
That's all he said for a while. "He found it stored in the back of the Impala. He screamed at me for holding out on him. Telling me I had no business keeping money from him. He swung a bottle at me, knocked me out for a good 3 hours. When I came to, all the money was gone. All of it. Dad spent it on ammo."
Sam's heart clenched and his body ached with hatred for their father and agony for his brother. Dean had gone through so much, so much more than Sam thought. It tore him to shreds. All he could do was cry.
Dean saw Sam's tears and mistook them for anger. Sammy would leave him now. He knew it. Instead, long muscular arms wound their way around his neck and long hair brushed in his face. He definitely didn't expect that. He also didn't expect Sam to be sobbing apologies in his ear when he was the one who fucked up. And he definitely didn't expect Sam to kiss him, whispering 'I love you's,' against his lips.
"Sammy?"
"I-I-I'm s-so s-sorry Dean," he sobbed, hiccups causing him to stutter.
"Sorry? What the hell are you sorry for?"
"I s-shouldn't h-have left! It's my f-fault!"
Dean pulled Sam back and held his face, making sure Sam actually looked at him. "Hey whoa. You didn't do anything Sammy. This is all on me."
Sam continued to cry and held Dean close, apologizing another hundred or so times.
Dean didn't press the matter again until Sam calmed down. The deep sobs slowing to quiet sniffles.
"It's okay Sammy."
"No Dean. It's not." He said firmly, taking Deans face in his hands and kissing him softly. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that for me. If I had known- I would have come home instantly."
"It's okay Sammy, it's all in the past."
"Dean?"
"What is it baby boy?"
"Dean I need you to promise me something."
"Anything Sammy. You know that."
"D-Don't. Don't do this again. I can't stand the thought of you hurting."
Dean's eyes widened and he looked at his brother. Sam was mad about him being in pain? Not about cheating? What the fuck was going on?
"Sam-"
"Dean, I know what you're going to say. No, I'm not mad. There's a difference between sex for cash and sex for love. I know the only reason you did that was to pay me back. But I'm more mad at the pain it caused you. I don't want you to do that for me anymore okay? You're worth so much more than that. I love you Dean, I don't ever want to see you hurt like this again."
Dean sat on the bed quietly, not quite sure of what to say. Sam seemed to take Dean's silence as a conformation of refusal so he quickly spoke up.
"I swear! I'm sorry. I got- lost in my own head. I swear Sammy, if you don't leave me, I'll never do that again okay?"
Sam breathed a sigh of relief and took Dean into his arms, kissing his neck softly. "Thank you."
"I love you Sammy."
"I know you do Dean." He said, pulling his older brother close.
"How can I make it up to you?"
Sam smiled and pressed a kiss to his brother's lips. "Love me. That's all I want."
"Really? 'Cuz that's fucking easy."
That caused the both of them to laugh in the otherwise quiet room. It felt good to laugh. All the previous stressors melted from their bodies and Dean could actually breathe right again.
"I do want to make it up to you though," Dean said, snuggled comfortably now in Sam's chest.
"I'm sure I'll think of something." Sam joked, "Maybe I'll have you wash the impala in nothing but short shorts."
Dean snorted and punched Sam playfully before pulling him down for another kiss. "For you Sammy, I would."