Runs too Deep
Notes: (...) denotes a thought.
[...] denotes Merry's "rational" side talking. (You'll get it later.)
Disclaimer: Not mine... although if I owned Middle Earth It would be rated NC- 17 and no one wants that now do they?
Warnings: This fic is slash. It contains gay hobbits. And some of them are incest... so read on if you can handle the horrible-ness of being gay and in love with your cousin... smirk
Please review, it's my birthday. Really. July 26, 2004. I posted this on my birthday. Review please! Also, if you are interested, I have other fics I would love someone to beta. (Unless the ImmortalFlick wants to...)
Thank-you ImmortalFlick, you're the best!
Chapter One-- Reminders
A dimly lit corridor led to a door, as do most. The special thing about this door was the fact it was open, barely, but still enough for the lone candle's light to shine around the door and spill into the corridor, causing a silhouette. It was a sight worthy of a painting, but the hobbit that crept up to the door was not interested in the candle, or the door. He was intent on the soft moans coming through the crack.
These moans were not painful ones, no; they were the sort that one can achieve only by being both extremely content and pleasured at the same time. Of course, Pippin was too naive to understand this fact of life. To Pippin it sounded as though someone was dieing, a fantasy he harbored more and more since the Quest. He crept closer to the door, not sure of whom was behind that door, and not wishing to startle anyone. Pippin had grown very suspicious of everything as of late, probably brought on by his lack of sleep, and wasn't sure if he wanted anything to do with whatever was going on in that room at the moment.
Suddenly the moans became louder, and there seemed to be quite a bit of activity behind that door. Pippin quickened his pace and placed a hand on the door knob, pushing ever so softly. He planned to take a peek, see what it was that had awoken him, and then go from there. To his surprise and fright the door flew open much quicker than he would have liked, and Pippin didn't have time to get a grip on the knob. Pippin watched in horror as the door slid silently on the hinges, then crashed very loudly into the wall inside the room.
The noises from a bed placed dead center in the room stopped immediately, and everyone froze. Pippin was standing wide eyed on the thresh hold, and Samwise and Frodo lay in a rather compromising position on the bed. No one moved for a moment, moment stretched to seconds, and seconds to minutes. Suddenly, once his shocked brain started functioning again, Pippin gave a strangled cry that was half sob and half confused yelp.
The noise sent the hobbits back into motion, and Pippin turned and fled like a rabbit from a very large, hungry wolf, his heart beating twice as fast as any rabbits should. Stumbling down the corridor, he opened a random door and ducked inside. The room was one Pip had never seen before, though he had thought he knew every nook and cranny of Bag End. It was obviously one of Frodo's "secret" studies. He had found them all and they had all been locked. Except this one apparently. However, it was another "secret" of Frodo's that he cared about. (How could I not see it?) Pippin thought, mentally kicking himself. (They were so obvious! Constantly with each other, they even went on a journey together for goodness sake! It could have just as easily been me or Merry.) Pippin realized he was still standing in the center of the room, and finally, collapsed on the floor, giving is still pounding heart a break. Sobs vibrating through his frail body. "Oh, Merry." He spoke slowly, and then dissolved into tears again.
Pippin had been successfully barring any thoughts of his cousin from his mind, but the sight of Sam and Frodo together had reminded him of what he wanted most of all. What he could have achieved. If he wasn't pushing Merry away. If he weren't too afraid to even hug his cousin anymore. If he wasn't so worried about loosing control, worried he would make unwelcome advances. (I'm so scared he won't want me. That he will push me away and hate me. That's worse than this. Much worse. I can't live without Merry. Life near him is torture, but life without him...) Pippin shuddered at the prospect of life without being able to watch Merry's radiant beauty from the sidelines.
"Why does it have to be so hard to love him? Why?" Pippin choked out to the empty room. "He is everything I want, and everything I can't have..." Pippin trailed off into a new bout of tears.
Eventually Pippins pained sobs ceased, and the hobbit lay on the floor for a while longer to collect his strength, then forced himself to stand and, wiping slightly damp curls out of his eyes, he stumbled off to find his room. Once Pippin was gone Merry stepped out of the shadows behind the desk and leaned on the desk for support. He had found Frodo's private study unlocked yesterday, and had slipped in for some light reading later that night. When he had heard the footsteps he thought it was Frodo and had hidden.
Though after witnessing Pippins episode, he was right shook up, as the
hobbits say. He
Reached up to move an offending dark-brown curl out of his line of
sight, only to
discover he too had been crying. Perhaps seeing the Great, More-
Mischievous-Than-
Merry Pippin crying his eyes out had been too much for him. Or it
could've been the fact
that Pippin had been crying his eyes out over him. Either or.
So it all came down to the fact that Pippin had feelings for him but thought- something. Maybe he thought it wrong himself. Or perhaps it was that he thought Merry didn't go that way. Or because they were directly related. Or a combination. None of these reasons made their way into Merry's head. (Why does he think he couldn't have me?) Merry thought. (I should ask him. Right now.) But then the rational side of Merry made a guest appearance.
[No you Idiot! That would scare him off! Let him come to you.]
(Why don't you ever show up when I need to think things through first more often?)
[So you'll listen when I do speak up.]
(Oh) Merry shook his head. "Great! Now my mind is talking to itself! I've gone mad for sure." Merry muttered. [Mad for Pip maybe.] "Oh shut up. I'm going to sleep." Merry started for his room. [Talking to your head now? Maybe you are insane.]
Merry ignored the last thought and went to bed.
Read and Review, it's my Birthday. If you review, you get a gift! In honor of the hobbits! What kind of gifts? Review to find out!
(Press 'Review story' button... now.)
Notes: (...) denotes a thought.
[...] denotes Merry's "rational" side talking. (You'll get it later.)
Disclaimer: Not mine... although if I owned Middle Earth It would be rated NC- 17 and no one wants that now do they?
Warnings: This fic is slash. It contains gay hobbits. And some of them are incest... so read on if you can handle the horrible-ness of being gay and in love with your cousin... smirk
Please review, it's my birthday. Really. July 26, 2004. I posted this on my birthday. Review please! Also, if you are interested, I have other fics I would love someone to beta. (Unless the ImmortalFlick wants to...)
Thank-you ImmortalFlick, you're the best!
Chapter One-- Reminders
A dimly lit corridor led to a door, as do most. The special thing about this door was the fact it was open, barely, but still enough for the lone candle's light to shine around the door and spill into the corridor, causing a silhouette. It was a sight worthy of a painting, but the hobbit that crept up to the door was not interested in the candle, or the door. He was intent on the soft moans coming through the crack.
These moans were not painful ones, no; they were the sort that one can achieve only by being both extremely content and pleasured at the same time. Of course, Pippin was too naive to understand this fact of life. To Pippin it sounded as though someone was dieing, a fantasy he harbored more and more since the Quest. He crept closer to the door, not sure of whom was behind that door, and not wishing to startle anyone. Pippin had grown very suspicious of everything as of late, probably brought on by his lack of sleep, and wasn't sure if he wanted anything to do with whatever was going on in that room at the moment.
Suddenly the moans became louder, and there seemed to be quite a bit of activity behind that door. Pippin quickened his pace and placed a hand on the door knob, pushing ever so softly. He planned to take a peek, see what it was that had awoken him, and then go from there. To his surprise and fright the door flew open much quicker than he would have liked, and Pippin didn't have time to get a grip on the knob. Pippin watched in horror as the door slid silently on the hinges, then crashed very loudly into the wall inside the room.
The noises from a bed placed dead center in the room stopped immediately, and everyone froze. Pippin was standing wide eyed on the thresh hold, and Samwise and Frodo lay in a rather compromising position on the bed. No one moved for a moment, moment stretched to seconds, and seconds to minutes. Suddenly, once his shocked brain started functioning again, Pippin gave a strangled cry that was half sob and half confused yelp.
The noise sent the hobbits back into motion, and Pippin turned and fled like a rabbit from a very large, hungry wolf, his heart beating twice as fast as any rabbits should. Stumbling down the corridor, he opened a random door and ducked inside. The room was one Pip had never seen before, though he had thought he knew every nook and cranny of Bag End. It was obviously one of Frodo's "secret" studies. He had found them all and they had all been locked. Except this one apparently. However, it was another "secret" of Frodo's that he cared about. (How could I not see it?) Pippin thought, mentally kicking himself. (They were so obvious! Constantly with each other, they even went on a journey together for goodness sake! It could have just as easily been me or Merry.) Pippin realized he was still standing in the center of the room, and finally, collapsed on the floor, giving is still pounding heart a break. Sobs vibrating through his frail body. "Oh, Merry." He spoke slowly, and then dissolved into tears again.
Pippin had been successfully barring any thoughts of his cousin from his mind, but the sight of Sam and Frodo together had reminded him of what he wanted most of all. What he could have achieved. If he wasn't pushing Merry away. If he weren't too afraid to even hug his cousin anymore. If he wasn't so worried about loosing control, worried he would make unwelcome advances. (I'm so scared he won't want me. That he will push me away and hate me. That's worse than this. Much worse. I can't live without Merry. Life near him is torture, but life without him...) Pippin shuddered at the prospect of life without being able to watch Merry's radiant beauty from the sidelines.
"Why does it have to be so hard to love him? Why?" Pippin choked out to the empty room. "He is everything I want, and everything I can't have..." Pippin trailed off into a new bout of tears.
Eventually Pippins pained sobs ceased, and the hobbit lay on the floor for a while longer to collect his strength, then forced himself to stand and, wiping slightly damp curls out of his eyes, he stumbled off to find his room. Once Pippin was gone Merry stepped out of the shadows behind the desk and leaned on the desk for support. He had found Frodo's private study unlocked yesterday, and had slipped in for some light reading later that night. When he had heard the footsteps he thought it was Frodo and had hidden.
Though after witnessing Pippins episode, he was right shook up, as the
hobbits say. He
Reached up to move an offending dark-brown curl out of his line of
sight, only to
discover he too had been crying. Perhaps seeing the Great, More-
Mischievous-Than-
Merry Pippin crying his eyes out had been too much for him. Or it
could've been the fact
that Pippin had been crying his eyes out over him. Either or.
So it all came down to the fact that Pippin had feelings for him but thought- something. Maybe he thought it wrong himself. Or perhaps it was that he thought Merry didn't go that way. Or because they were directly related. Or a combination. None of these reasons made their way into Merry's head. (Why does he think he couldn't have me?) Merry thought. (I should ask him. Right now.) But then the rational side of Merry made a guest appearance.
[No you Idiot! That would scare him off! Let him come to you.]
(Why don't you ever show up when I need to think things through first more often?)
[So you'll listen when I do speak up.]
(Oh) Merry shook his head. "Great! Now my mind is talking to itself! I've gone mad for sure." Merry muttered. [Mad for Pip maybe.] "Oh shut up. I'm going to sleep." Merry started for his room. [Talking to your head now? Maybe you are insane.]
Merry ignored the last thought and went to bed.
Read and Review, it's my Birthday. If you review, you get a gift! In honor of the hobbits! What kind of gifts? Review to find out!
(Press 'Review story' button... now.)