"He has been so different since he came home. He doesn't talk much and he hardly eats anything."
"He is just re-adjusting. He will be fine."
"I'm not so sure. It has been a week. Maybe you should stay home for awhile longer, to be with him."
"Do not be ridiculous. I cannot stay home; my ship needs me. You know that."
"But do you think he is really all right? The officer who found them said he was being chased by the other boys."
"A game. Nothing more than a foolish game."
"And the island was on fire."
"Carelessness. They should have been more careful. I thought we raised him better than to go off playing war games while he lets his signal fire get out of hand."
"But the officer said they were chasing him with sharpened sticks. And he looked absolutely terrified when he tumbled out of the woods."
"…games… that is all… The officer said Ralph claimed to be the leader, which of course he would be. Do you really think a group of English boys would attack their leader?"
"But what about the two boys they said were dead?"
"Well… accidents happen… strange island… climbing around on rocks… they are only little boys."
"But-"
"I have to go. I shall be late."
"Will you at least say good-bye to him?"
"You know I always do so when I can."
Ralph hurried away from the door where he had been listening to his parents' conversation. He jumped into his bed and pulled the covers up, closing his eyes in pretence sleep. He heard his door creak open, and after a moment, it was shut again.
"He is asleep." He heard his dad say.
"Well I'm sure he wouldn't mind you waking him up to say good-bye."
"He needs sleep. And I shall be late. You know I need to be with my ship, even now that the war is over. I do not know when I shall be back. You can say good-bye to Ralph for me. He should go back to school as soon as possible, now that it has re-opened."
"But he just got home and he has been through so much."
"We cannot baby him. He is a young man. He has to grow up. Now…"
Ralph stopped listening. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "Grow up" his father had said. I've grown up enough, Ralph thought to himself. I learned things from the island I did not care to, and if that's all growing up is, I do not care to do any more of it. How much more growing up can I do at school? I don't want to go back to school. But he did not have a choice.
A few minutes later, his mother came in. Seeing he was awake, she sat down on the end of his bed. "You're father had to go back to the navy. He said to say good-bye. We decided it would be best if you go back to school at the end of the week."
Ralph nodded, but said nothing. His mother sighed.
"Get dressed. I'll fix your breakfast."
One week later, Ralph was in the same position, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. Only this time he was in his dormitory at school. He never minded school before. He even liked a few of his classes. But things were different now. He found himself looking at the other boys, including his friends, wondering what it would have been like if they were on the island. Would they have been on his side and perhaps killed by Jack, or would they have been among the boys hunting him down to kill him?
They were all capable of killing, Ralph realized. He also realized he didn't know the other boys too well. Of course, he didn't know the boys on the island well either, but he knew more than he wanted. What really scared him, Ralph realized, was what he found out about himself. He too, was capable of killing.
Suddenly Ralph could not stand it any longer. He had to discuss his knowledge with someone. He couldn't talk to his parents; his father was away and his mother would worry. His friends wouldn't understand. The masters at school would tell him to be a man, what happened on the island was in the past, everything was all right. But it wasn't. Everything was not all right. Everything was very wrong since the island.
Ralph slipped out of bed. He changed into trousers and a shirt. That was something else he had to get used to: wearing a full set of clothes again. He went to his trunk and dug around in it until he found a small box. He took out a scrap of paper from it. He had found it when he was hiding in the woods. It was a short note, from Simon to his parents, with Simon's address on the back.
He took his money out and shoved it deep into his pocket. Then he opened his window, climbed out, dropped to the ground, and started running. A few minutes later, he was walking down the main road. Looking at his watch, Ralph realized it was very early still. He wouldn't be able to explain his presence on the road. He decided that if he heard a car, he would duck into the woods that ran along the side of the road. Though he made it into town without meeting another car.
By then, it was 7:00. The town was stirring and Ralph walked boldly into the train station. He looked at a map before going to the counter to buy a ticket to Simon's town. The counterman was talkative, which was what Ralph was hoping to avoid.
"Going to school are ye?"
"No sir. My mum is sick and I'm going to see her," Ralph lied easily.
"Aren't thee a nice lad. Hope it isn't too serious."
"Thank you," Ralph said, forcing a smile. Ralph napped on the train ride. He was stiff and hungry when he got off. He found a map and discovered Simon's house was only a few blocks away.
He found Simon's house without much difficulty. It was only after he knocked on the door that he realized he didn't know what to say. The door was opened by a small, dark haired woman who looked rather pale. Ralph was reminded strongly of Simon, and his throat tightened.
"Yes?" the woman asked.
"Umm… I… um… Are you Simon's mum?" he asked finally.
The woman gave a dry sob. "Who are you?"
"I… I'm… Ralph. I… I was… I was on the… on the… with…" Ralph suddenly burst into tears, as he had when he had been rescued.
The woman reached out and patted his shoulder. "I understand. Come in."
When Ralph gained control, he told Simon's mother everything about the island, from the crash until his flight through the woods and his rescue. He left nothing out. When he finished, he gave Simon's mother the note he had found. There was a long silence. Finally Simon's mother spoke.
"They didn't tell me how Simon died, just that he wasn't found on the island. But I suppose they wouldn't know, would they?"
"I'm sorry," Ralph said miserably.
"I'm sorry too."
"We didn't… I didn't… mean to…"
"It's all right dear. I don't blame you. I want to thank you for telling me all this. You are a very brave boy."
"But-"
"Don't worry. I understand that you know too early that humans are capable of evil, but you also must realize that in the same way they can also resist it. You did that."
"I tried but I still-"
"You didn't mean to. You didn't know. It wasn't your fault. I wouldn't feel right, knowing you still feel guilty about it. And I don't think Simon would either."
"It's just that I'm… disappointed, I guess."
"Disappointed? In humans?"
"Yes," Ralph said, surprised. He hadn't really known what his feelings were, but now he understood them better. "Thank you. This really helped me."
*** 10 years later ***
Ralph gazed at the green vegetation. A lot must have grown back since he had last been there. There were still signs though, of the destruction ten years ago. He took a deep breath, and stepped off the boat onto the island. He walked along the beach until he found the spot he remembered the shelters once stood. Then he walked up the beach until he found the marker he had set up a few years ago. It was a memorial of a sort, for Simon, near the spot where he had been killed.
Years ago Ralph had come to grips with what he had done, and everything that had gone on the island. Last year, he had looked up Jack, to see what had happened to him. He was studying to become a school choir director. Ralph didn't think he could handle seeing him in person, but he had written him a short letter. It was very short in fact; three words. I forgive you. He had done it because he hopped for the same for him. He hopped that Simon had forgiven him. But also, because he knew it wasn't completely Jack's fault.
Ralph sat down on the beach by the marker, and gazed out to sea. He closed his eyes, and he heard the conch shell being blown. He heard laughter as some littuns fell off the unstable log during an assembly. He heard splashing from the pool where he, Simon, Jack, and the other boys had swum together. Scenes from the beginning, when life was still pure and innocent.
A few minutes later, Ralph stood up and brushed himself off. "Good-bye Simon. Good-bye Piggy. I'll miss you," he said. Then he turned and walked back to his boat, never to look back, never to return.