What Would Jack Sparrow Do? 'South Park' Version

by Very Alter Ego

I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two, that's what Jack Sparrow would do! Still don't want to be killed.

"What Would Jack Sparrow Do?"

'South Park' version

(Pintel: "What would Ol' Jack Sparrow do
If he was 'ere right now?")

(Ragetti: "He'd make a plan
And he'd follow through.")

(Both: "That's what Jack Sparrow'd do.")

(Gibbs: "When Jack Sparrow was in the Caribbean,
Searching for the Aztec gold,
He made Barbossa look like a klutz,
And escaped the Navy's hold.")

(Elizabeth: "When Jack Sparrow was at Port Royal,
Fighting Norrington,
He escaped using his kohl-eyed charm,
And dragged William along.")

(Will: "So what would Jack Sparrow do
If he were here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two,
That's what Jack Sparrow'd do!"

(Barbossa: "I want this curse off of me,
It 'as stunted my eating ability.")

(Jack: "And I just want some rum,
So stop singing everyone.")

(Will: "For Elizabeth I'll be a pirate, too,
Cos that's what Jack Sparrow would do." )

(Gibbs: "And what would Jack Sparrow do,
He'd get every drunk in Tortuga,
And tell them to unite for true
That's what Jack Sparrow would do.")

(Will: "When Jack Sparrow got his ship back
In the year 1701,
He fought the evil Davy Jones
with his sword and flintlock gun.")

(Elizabeth: "And when Jack Sparrow was at world's end,
He blew up Lord Beckett.")

Entire Crew: "Cos Jack Sparrow doesn't take shit from an-e-y-body…"

(PotC fan fiction writers: "So let us get together,
And write a self-insect fic,
And we'll save Will and Elizabeth too,
Cos that's what Jack Sparrow would do."

"And we'll save Will and Elizabeth too,
Cos that's what Jack Sparrow dooooo,
That's what Jack Sparrow would do!")

Yes, ban together all those who write of the glorious 'Pirates of the Caribbean'! Together, we shall rule the written world! I mean, only if you want to... If you've looked at this version first, then you shall be pleased to know that I've also written a version for the original song by DVDA. Basically everything you need to know is in that one. I'm not writing it all out again. Go check out that version if you want to know everything. (You do want to know everything...right?) See ya'll in a sec.