"Cage is dead," Lincoln announced as he stood before the commander, who was seated in the branch-like chair within the confines of her tent.
"How can you be sure of that?" She asked, her eyes piercing into Lincoln's. The days following her deal with Dante had been filled with stress and sleepless nights despite her people's celebration of freeing the prisoners. She wanted answers to formulate a strategy on how to move forward.
"He was my kill, Heda." Lexa's eyes softened ever so slightly, and gave him a single nod of approval before continuing. Knowing the ruthless man was dead would make it easier for a more peaceful future.
"And the other Mountain Men?" Lexa was transported back in time to the moments after the missile strike and the look in Clarke's eyes when she said she wanted all of the Mountain Men dead. Her heart had been filled with awe and a sense of appreciation for the leader that Clarke was becoming. But that seemed like a long time ago, and it was before Lexa had to betray the up-and-coming leader of the Sky People.
"They are dead," he said, matter-of-fact.
"All of them?" She asked, cocking her head to the side. "How can you be sure?" Lincoln didn't look away from the woman in front of him as he continued, keeping eye contact.
"Clarke irradiated the mountain, Heda. Any survivors are wearing protective suits and their oxygen tanks won't last." The commanders eyes softened once again and she clenched her jaw, feeling a rush of emotion at the thought of Clarke having to irradiate the people inside of the mountain. She paused for a moment, figuring out what her next move needed to be.
"If their leader, Dante, is still alive, we are still at war," she started, staring at the floor and spinning her dagger in her hands as she thought. "I need to speak to Clarke. Tell Indra to assemble a small group of attendants to ride to Camp Jaha." She got up to start gathering her things when Lincoln spoke up once more.
"Heda, Clarke is not at the Sky People's camp," he said and Lexa's head snapped around and her jaw clenched once again.
"What do you mean she's not at their camp?" She spat, moving towards him with a demanding presence.
"She left after the battle at Mount Weather. Octavia says they have not seen her since." Lincoln stood there and watched as the commander received the information, seemingly furious with the news.
"You and I are going to find her," she stated, hand on her dagger the entire time. "Gather your things. We leave at dusk." Lincoln nodded and turned towards the opening of the tent but was stopped by Lexa's voice. "And not a word to Octavia." He turned and nodded once more before leaving to gather his weapons and rations.
Clarke was hungry, and tired. Days spent in the woods by herself were beginning to take its toll on the blonde. Animals had been hard to come by to shoot, and with limited ammunition, it would have to be a sure shot for her to pull the trigger. Berries were ample but one couldn't sustain themselves on berries alone, and Clarke was well aware of this fact.
If food was hard to come by, sleep was even harder to find. Being on guard against remaining mountain men and any other potential predators meant staying up at all hours with short naps here and there. Clarke knew that she couldn't last on her own forever, but she still wasn't ready to face her people; face what she was forced to do at Mount Weather. The look on Jasper's face as he held Maia in his arms was burned in her brain forever. Seeing the innocent lives dead and slumped over in their chairs would continue to haunt her, awake and at rest.
She was laying in the cave dwelling that she had stumbled upon when she heard a sound outside. At this point on her own, she couldn't be sure if her mind was playing games with her or if there was actually something or someone outside, but she treated every sound as a potential threat. The blonde blinked her eyes a few times to try and wake up and grabbed her pistol before slowly exiting the dwelling.
She knelt outside the entrance and scanned the area, but failed to see or hear anything around her. A few steps out of the cave with her pistol drawn rendered nothing, but when she turned back towards the cave, Lexa appeared with her hands up in a surrendering-motion. Clarke had no intentions of shooting her, but kept her pistol aimed at the brunette's head.
"What do you want?" Clarke asked. The mere sight of the commander flooded her brain with memories of Mount Weather and tears sat right behind her eyes, ready to fall at any moment.
"I need to speak with you, Clarke," she said, hands remaining in the air.
"I have nothing to say to you," the blonde spat through gritted teeth. Her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest, and she reasoned the feeling was out of anger.
"Then please listen. We need to talk Clarke. It is not safe-"
"And you're going to keep me safe?" Clarke interrupted, words full of emotion. She couldn't tell if she was more angry or hurt at seeing the woman in front of her.
Normally, Lexa would not allow anyone to interrupt her the way Clarke had. However, she couldn't help but soften at the sight of the blonde, the girl for whom she cared for more than she ever expected.
"This is not about me, Clarke. This is about you and your people. This war isn't over and they need you, alive." Lexa put her hands down and motioned towards the opening of the cave she had seen Clarke come out of. "Please." It was fairly out of character to ask anything of anyone, since she was used to demanding or ordering her people to do things. Lincoln was still standing 20 feet behind the Commander, ready to defend the brunette but also to provide some reassurance to the blonde that their intentions were good.
Clarke took a few moments to think things over with her pistol still pointed at the brunette. There were too many emotions running through her, and while her head said no, her heart said yes. And in that moment, her heart won.
She motioned for Lexa to enter the cave first, and followed behind her. Lexa sat down first on one side of the small fire Clarke had managed to start in order to keep warm. Once the blonde sat down and when she looked at the green eyes across from her, she saw the hardened Commander begin to soften.
"What is so important, Lexa?" Clarke said, wasting no time in trying to get the conversation over with.
Lexa took a deep breath before speaking. "Clarke, I know you are angry and I know you are hurting." Clarke scoffed and rolled her eyes at the Commander. "I did what I had to do for my people, and I will never apologize for that," the brunette started again, keeping eye contact with the woman across from her, "but you have to know I had no choice. Dante wanted you dead, Clarke. He wanted me to kill you in order to free my people and I refused." The Commander saw the blonde soften ever so slightly at what Lexa was telling her. "Which is why I've come to find you. Clarke, if he's still out there-"
"He's not," Clarke interrupted, looking at the ground and fighting to keep her tears from falling. She looked up to see Lexa staring at her with a puzzled look, her green eyes asking her for more information. "I killed him," the blonde started, trying to get her quivering voice under control, "I killed everyone." A single tear fell, and the blonde tipped her head back in hopes that no more would fall from her blue eyes. "I irradiated the mountain. I killed Maia, I killed innocent people...children, who had nothing to do with this war."
"Is that why you are hiding out here, Clarke?" Lexa said in a soft voice, barely above a whisper.
"How can I possibly face them? How can I face Jasper after I watched him hold Maia's burned body in his arms?" More tears were falling from Clarke's blue eyes now and she cursed herself for being vulnerable in front of the brunette.
"You did what you had to do, Clarke. You saved your people. They have you to thank for their lives," the Commander said, making sure to hold Clarke's gaze across the fire.
"You would know, wouldn't you?" Clarke snapped. She didn't intend for her words to escape her in such a harsh tone, but she was tired, and hungry, and angry. Lexa hesitated for a moment and seemed to struggle to find words. Clarke started again before Lexa could say anything. "You betrayed us, Lexa. We had an alliance, a pretty good one with your combat skills and our technology. But you threw that away. I should kill you for a betrayal this large," she said, looking directly into the steely-green eyes across from her.
"And yet, here I am, living and breathing," Lexa said, leaning forwards. "You could have killed me outside, killed me in here, but you haven't. Why, Clarke?" she asked with a hint of a smile.
"Because I'm sick of killing people, Lexa!" she shouted, her words echoing off the walls of the small dwelling. "And no matter how hard I try to be mad at you, I understand why you did what you did. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt me, every single day that I sit out in these woods and relive that night," she said, her voice returning to a normal volume. Lexa's eyes were softening and she sensed the blonde was opening up to her. "The alliance wasn't the only thing you broke that night," she said, leaning back against the wall.
The commander swallowed hard and looked around before speaking again. "Clarke, I realize I broke your trust," she said, her heart tingling with pain each time she looked into the blonde's eyes.
"You broke my trust and you broke my heart, Lexa," the blonde stated, exasperated. Not only was she exhausted from her sleep deprivation but she was now emotionally exhausted as well. Her entire body hurt and she wasn't sure how much more of this conversation she could take.
Lexa pursed her lips and looked at the ceiling, trying to keep her tears at bay. Hearing the woman she loved say those words shattered the Commander's heart into a million pieces.
"That was never my intention, Clarke," she started, returning her gaze to the blue eyes across from the fire. "It was my only choice and I had faith in your abilities as a leader to accomplish the mission." She paused and made sure Clarke held her gaze. "I was right to have faith in you." A single tear fell from the Commander's eye before she quickly wiped it away. "I have agonized for days about your well-being and your health. I am asking you to please come back to TonDC with me so I can discuss with you the new dangers facing our people." Clarke was moved by the brunettes sincerity, and while her head was screaming 'no', her heart was saying 'yes'.
Unlike the Commander, Clarke's made the decision with her heart and not her head.