(Disclaimer, I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters blah blah, legal shit, blah blah. I own Mr. Yen)

Chapter One: Three Years Later…

Dear Diary, It has been three whole YEARS since I last wrote in you. Roxas is still sad after Xion recently left so today I decided to cheer him up. I took him down to mister Yen's store to help out. "Yo Yen, It's me, Axel. Hello?"

"Hello there Mr. Axel. What brings you to my store THREE YEARS LATER?! HUH!? MY BUSINESS HAS GONE DOWN SLOWLY SINCE YOU STOPPED SHOPPING HERE AND BUYING THINGS IN BULK. TELL ME!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down old timer. Roxas over here is a little upset and… well… you know what I came here to buy." I said mysteriously.

"Really? You're gonna buy another fuckin' 14 of those damn notebooks?"

"WELL MAYBE I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS, WE CAN GROW HEARTS YA KNOW- Ahem. Excuse me. No, no notebooks for me sir. I came to buy… the-" *I mumble something quietly under my breath*

"Oh, my. Well I have just the right product. Here." The old man hands me a bottle of pills.

"Molly? Really? Mr. Yen we talked about this. You know pick-ups are only on Fridays-"

"NO FOOL. It's G.L.O.P. It stands for Glitter Loving Ovulation Pills."

"…"I stare at mister Yen so confused that one of my eyes goes lazy. "Umm. Okay thanks. Oh, also, do you have any industrial hairspray? I'm runnin' low."

"FUCK WE NEED MORE WATER! Oh, hey Axel" Xemnas shouts.

"Yes, our latest shipment is: SUMMER BRISK" Mr. Yen says.

"Cool thanks. Here's 2500 Munny for your troubles. See ya." Me and Roxas leave the store and head to the clock tower.

"So… what's in the bottle?" Roxas asked.

"The gateway to sweet dreams and lots and lots of alcohol" I say. "Now let's go, I want you to try some of this. Apparently it's the REALLY strong kind. One time, I took this thing called KnickerSpitz… let's just say, Jesus Christ will rise again." We use a corridor of darkness to get to the top of the tower. "Okay, sit."

"Um, Axel… listen. I'm a little upset still, this is true. But I'm fine. I'm getting over it pretty quickly, and I don't need drugs."

"Yeah, well, that's all bullshit. Now pop one. Do it… pussy."

"What did you call me?"
"A pussy. Pussy cat. You want some milk?"

"LISTEN HERE AXEL. MILK ACTUALLY MAKES CATS SICK. AND I'M NOT A PUSSY. GIMME THAT SHEEIITT." Roxas knocks back the ENTIRE bottle.

"DUDE NO! You can't take the entire bottle… without water! Here take this." I hand him some water and he swallows all the pills. "Oh, by the way it's called G.L.O.P. Glitter Loving Ovulation Pills."

"Wait what."

(A/N: So I'm back guys. Finally. THREE FUCKING YEARS DUDE. THREE YEARS. I know I didn't really post anything before, and I only had one crappy kingdom hearts story. What do you think of the new and improved Axel's diary? Don't like it? TOO BAD. There's more to come. I've had soooo many story ideas and stories that I've written that I wanted to publish. There is one main non one-shot story that I've been working on that I'm so super excited to release. It was kind of a dead project… until now. Wait for… the Stora.)