Ask The Cast: Saw
"Hello, Mr. Faulkner, Dr. Gordon, Mrs. Tuck, Mr. Kramer, Mr. Hoffman and Ms. Young" The host said, walking on stage.
"Uh...hi." Adam responds.
"Well, today we are going to ask you guys questions, as submitted by a group of dashing young humans." The host said, smiling at the camera.
"Ya know, I heard there was gonna be free food, where is IT?" Adam says.
"Jesus Adam, what is it with you and food?" Amanda asks.
"Well, you should know bitch! You left me to die of starvation!" Adam spat.
"You're here, aren't you?" John added.
"Odd...but true. I retract my statement."
Amanda just rolls her eyes.
"Okay..moving on." The host says, looking at the camera.
"Sabrina asks...Is Lawrence dating Adam?"
"Why do people anyways think we're gay? What do people think? "Oh um gee two men get locked in a bathroom, they'd make a really good couple?" Lawrence said, face palming.
"Tell me about it? Did we show any hint of attraction? Did I keep staring at Lawrence's dick? Like what the fuck.." Adam said.
"So that's...a no?" The host asked.
"What do you think?" Lawrence spat.
"Okay...so Sabrina, that's a no."
"Next question, this question is from Adam and it's for Adam" The host added.
"The question is, would you ever date Amanda?"
"You mean to tell me to go out with a bitch who left for me dead! Fuck no. I do like her hair though." Adam replied.
"Wow Adam, you sure know how to make a girl feel special." Amanda says, mock sighing.
"In Adam's defence, Amanda you slept above him. You went to bed knowing that a man was dying, and that you could've done something." Jill added.
"There was no extra key." Amanda responded.
"BULLSHIT!" Adam leaped across the stage and tackled Amanda. The others don't bother to help, but instead watching in awe.
Amanda and Adam walk back on stage while growling at each other.
"No wonder your girlfriend left you." Amanda scowled.
"Whatever. You and Gwen (His punk vegan feminist girlfriend) can burn hell for all I care." Adam spat back.
"Okay! Enough! On with the questions. Max has a question for Mark. The question is: Would you have sex with Lawrence for a million dollars?" The host said, clearly agitated.
"Well..." Hoffman stuttered.
"WHAT THE FUCK...I'M LEAVING." Lawrence said, getting up out of his seat.
"C'mon Larry! You left me once, don't leave me again!" Adam pleaded.
"Fine. But no more gay questions." Lawrence said, haphazardly sitting back in his chair.
"You homophobic bro?" Hoffman asked, offended.
"What? Of course not. I'm just upset that everyone thinks I'm gay. Are you gay, Hoffman?" Lawrence said, crossing his arms.
"What? Me? Gay? No way." Hoffman said, uncomfortably shifting his feet.
"Mark, is there something you want to tell us?" John asked, lifting his hood from his head.
"No! I'm not gay!" Hoffman spat.
"ON WITH THE QUESTIONS!" The host said, extremely impatient.
"Okay, *takes deep breath* This question is from a fellow named Jack. He asks Lawrence why you cheated on your wife." The host said.
"Because...well..you..see..." Lawrence was lost for words.
"Yeah, Lawrence? Why? Your wife is totally hot. You should focusing on tappin dat ass, not some Asian chick half your age." Adam asked Lawrence.
"Yeah..okay. Host! Next question!" Lawrence said, quickly changing the question.
"Okay. This question is from Lily. She asks Jill why she divorced John."
"Well, I didn't want too, but after I lost Gideon, John got really depressed and he started his 'games' and it was just too much. I didn't plan to start a new family with someone else, but John was going bat shit crazy" Jill responded.
"I was not going bat shit crazy! I taught people the way of life! Besides, Psycho's murder people! I do not murder people! Murder is distasteful." John replied, throwing his hands in the air.
"Well you could still get charged with abduction, and possibly indirect murder." Adam said.
"Well, if that's the price I have to pay for showing people how to make use of their life, then so be it!" John said in his defence.
Adam spoke up. "Look, but c'mon Jigsaw. You are the one who's wasting their life. When people find out they have a limited time to live, they don't waste their lives trying to help people through a series of random death traps, they enjoy the rest of their life. They go to Italy, they learn a new language, they get shitfaced. You're the one wasting your life John. Not us."
"That was a very nice speech Adam, I didn't know you were so...soulful" Amanda said while clapping.
"Fuck you, junkie bitch." Adam spat.
"Well that's the last time I ever give you a compliment." Amanda growled.
The host looked content when she checked her watch. "We'll, we're out of time. Goodbye"
"This fanfic sucked. Way to overuse the term spat." Lawrence said.
"I know right!" John added.
(A/N: So I asked a few of my Saw friends questions what they would ask the characters if they could. Completed for now. If you want more review with questions you would like to ask any Saw character. Have a good day ❤!)