My Random Seddie Oneshots
Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary.
Disclaimer-I wrote a letter, to Dan, asking very nicely for the rights to iCarly; he said no.
This one is rated T no sexual content, just a more mature theme.
Death of the Departed
Freddie's POV
8:34
The clock mocks me. It rules my life for the next 2 minutes.
2 minutes. That's all it is. 2 measly minutes, then it'll happen. Then she'll happen.
Tick tock….tick tock…. tick tock….
Over and over. It doesn't stop. Seconds past and my anticipation grows. The seconds seem like days. Time is moving too slowly. But it's been that way since it happened. Since she turned into a different person, not because she wanted to, because someone made a stupid mistake and she was forced to. She was forced to change; forever. There was no turning back. Her life changed in a split second.
And so did everyone else: Spencer, Gibby, Carly
Me
Even people who you'd never expect it to change their lives even the slightest; Chuck, Mrs. Briggs, Mr. Howard. Hell, even Lewbert is depressed.
All because she changed.
Life isn't nor will ever be the same. The world will never turn the same. The air after it rains will never be as refreshing as before.
Love won't be the same.
At least to me it won't.
8:36
It's time. Time for what always happens. Every night. Every night since it happened. Every night since I found out about her.
I rose from my position on the couch slowly. Carly, who was sitting next to me, pulled the covers closer to her, letting her eyes dart everywhere but to me and the TV screen.
"Bye Carly, I gotta go," I told Carly as I grabbed my jacket off of the chair, heading toward the door.
"Going to see Sam?" she asked. I turned around, and leaned against the door. Carly was looking at her fingers as she fiddled with them. She turned her gaze at me; I looked off into space and just nodded my head simply. Carly sighed heavily out of depression.
"I swear, you are taking all of this better than everybody else; and you were…" Carly started weakly, trying not to cry for the hundredth time since it happened.
"I know," I cut her off, not needing her to finish. I looked down at my black converse, holding back the tears that threatened to escape.
"And she was…" Carly started but I cut her off again.
"Don't talk about it, please," I requested urgently. The topic was something we really didn't want or need to talk about. Ever. It's one of those topics you think about. Nothing more than think. You think and think about it until you find that you're crying yourself asleep.
"Sorry," she apologized looking hurt.
That's how we've all been since it happened: hurt. Hurt that slowly killed us all every day. The kind of hurt that you try to push away. But when you do it bounces back and hits you harder than you think it ever could. You can push it aside but it can never be ignored. Not fully anyway. Hurt from losing her, but she wasn't even gone. Part of her was here with us, but part of her was gone. Lost in the wind never to be found.
"It's ok," I told her while opening the door. "See you later."
"Bye," she whispered wrapping the blanket tightly around her, innocently, as if it was protecting her. Because Sam couldn't protect her, at least, not anymore. I walked out the door and took the stairs. I always took the stairs so I could absorb the silence.
I walked out of Bushwell and didn't acknowledge the few people on the streets. I didn't acknowledge much about life anymore. Because everything about my life changed. Every detail; every second I breathe, every step I take, every moment I'm not with her.
Every tear I shed for her.
Even though she exists in my world, she's different. Different by a long shot. I mean, she's the same old Sam I know and love but she wasn't as adventurous, courageous, bubbly. She isn't Sam.
She isn't the old Sam. But regardless if she's the old Sam or the way she is now she's still Sam.
I still love her.
I walked to the park and saw her swinging on the middle swing in the set. Her favorite. I don't know why and never asked. Sam liked to be a mystery. She doesn't like to be grounded, she likes to fly and be free. That's what I loved about her.
But like I said, she changed.
I sat on one of the swings next to her.
"Hey Freddork," she smiled contently like she did every night.
But I know it's an act because it's the same routine every night. She's ok with how she's living her life then she slowly unravels to the point where she can't take it anymore. She cracks and breaks down. My heart breaks every time I see her cry. I used to think seeing Sam cry would hurt me more than anything.
But I saw her die.
I watched her as she slowly left the world. As she left my world. But somehow she comes back every night…with her. I saw her take her last breaths and I couldn't do anything about it.
And that's true pain.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Sam asked, leaning back in her swing so it looked like she was lying down. I use to tell her not to do that, cause she would get hurt, but that doesn't matter, does it?
"I'm thinking about how weird it is to see my dead girlfriend at the park every night," I confessed.
"Don't forget about her," Sam said as she pointed to a tree. Sitting at the bottom it was a little baby on a picnic blanket playing with the grass and smiling widely. She had blonde hair and brown eyes. My brown eyes.
"I didn't forget about her," I said.
"I know you didn't," Sam told me. We both stood up and walked over to her.
"Alyse, baby, say hi," Sam smiled. Alyse stared at me with her big brown eyes and smiled even wider. Sam picked her up.
"She loves you," Sam said.
"I know," I answered, letting the tears fall.
"I wish you could hold me," Sam said.
"So do I," I whispered as I extended my arm out to Sam. She put hers out but my arm passed through hers as if it wasn't there.
Sam let her tears fall too.
"Life isn't fair," Sam told me.
"I know," I replied.
"But I guess that's ok cause I don't have a life anymore," she said.
"I know."
This is very depressing isn't it? Sorry. Well, review!
LOVE ALWAYS,
-randomness