Summary: (BM/WW Wedding-fic) When Batman finally gathers the courage to ask Wonder Woman to marry him, the Dark Knight gets more than he bargained for when the entire League decided to pitch in and help plan their impending nuptials – contains fluff, random humour, a temperamental Amazon princess, drunken bachelor-party escapades, and various attempts on Superman's life!
A/N: Merry Christmas everybody!
[CHAPTER EDITED] [2013/02/20]
Disclaimer: I have as much as a chance owning these characters as I do the moon, Disney Land and most things generally bright and awesome.
Bridezillas & Kryptonite
~Preface~
Clark Kent was convinced Bruce Wayne had finally lost his mind, his marbles – the entire damn plot really – no questions asked, he was just very confident that the billionaire had gone certifiably insane.
And to think it all started out just like any other day on the Watchtower…
It was quiet for once; there were no full-scale global invasions, no lethal cross-continental pandemics, not even a giant robot to be dealt with, Superman just happened to be in the hanger when Gotham's Dark Knight came in and started preparing one of the Javelins for take-off.
Now, Clark being Bruce's best-friend (much to the latter's reluctance to admit so), couldn't help but to notice something different about his behaviour. Bruce seemed more determined that usual (which was saying something), but at the same time distracted, so much so that he hardly gave the red-and-blue-clad Kryptonian a second glance.
With his interest now piqued, when Batman entered the Javelin's cockpit, Superman carefully walked up next to him.
"Hey there, Batman," he greeted, his voice retaining an edge of caution to it.
Batman didn't even grunt a response like he normally would as he flicked the switches to start up the jet with more force than what was necessary.
"Er, Batman?" Superman tried again, when there was still no response, he sighed. "Bruce."
This seemed to snap Batman out of whatever state he was in, but when he looked up, the white of his cowl was narrowed into dangerous slits making even the Man of Steel back away slightly out of fear for his own wellbeing.
"What, Kent?" he snarled, momentarily looking away from the console.
"Sheesh, Bruce," Superman said, frowning at him, "what crawled up your cowl today?"
"I don't have time for this." Batman said impatiently.
"Well then, is everything okay? You seem even more riled-up than usual – are you heading out on a mission?"
"I'm going to Themyscira." He stated.
Superman's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. "W-wha…?! Why would you want to do that?" he asked in shocked disbelief.
"It's none of your business." Batman growled.
"But, men aren't allowed there, Bruce! You can't go on your own!" Superman said absurdly.
"Watch me." Batman said defiantly as he started firing up the engine.
"Okay, but if you're bent on going, at least take Diana with you."
Batman glared at him again. "Don't you get it? This is about Diana."
Superman blinked at him. "Huh? Is there something wrong with her?"
"No." Batman answered curtly. "Now move, Kent – you're blocking the runway."
Convinced that the Batman had gone crazy, Superman took off after him without a second thought.
"Get back to the Watchtower, Superman." Batman barked at him over their comm. link. "This has nothing to do with you."
"Not if you're at risk of getting yourself killed!" Superman responded. "Dammit, man – talk to me. Is Diana hurt? Did something happen between-"
"Nothing happened! Diana is fine." Batman said briskly, cutting him off midsentence.
"Then, what…?" Superman tried.
"If you won't listen to me and go back to base, then you can come with me if you don't talk for the rest of the way. I have to think."
"Fine… but you don't have to be so grouchy about it…" Superman muttered.
"You're still talking, Superman – Batman, out." He said, closing their link.
As much as what Clark wanted to know what was going on, he didn't question the Dark Knight any further – at least if push came to shove, Bruce had back-up.
A little over half an hour later, the island of Themyscira became visible on the horizon and the closer they got to it, the more anxious Clark began to feel. And as the jet touch on a vacant stretch of beach, just as the sun was about to set, Clark didn't need any of his super-senses to know that they had already been spotted.
"Bruce…" Clark said, remaining in the airspace just above the Javelin, scanning beach up ahead for any signs of the locals. He didn't want to sound paranoid, but he had a feeling they were being watched.
"Just stay here," Bruce said as he got out and out onto the sand.
"Are you sure? I can come with you."
"Stay here, Clark." Bruce repeated, already walking towards the buildings. "This won't take long."
Clark didn't call after him again. He still thought Bruce was absolutely insane, but prayed whatever business he had on Paradise Island was important enough to be risking the retribution from an island full of six-foot-something-on-average ultra-feminist, highly aggressive warrior women.
Just as he anticipated, Bruce didn't have to wait long before he came in contact with the locals. He was barely off the beach when a small battalion of guards came at him with swords and spears poised at the ready.
He was already starting to feel his nerves getting the better of him – he seriously didn't have the time or the patients to deal with them either. He just wanted to do what he came to do and be off the island as soon as possible before he began rethinking this venture all together.
Reaching for his utility belt, Bruce pulled out several smoke pellets and aimed for the Amazons' feet.
Having temporarily distracting the guards, when the smoke cleared, Batman had vanished from sight.
"Search the area!" the head-guard said loudly. "And make sure the male in the red cape doesn't try anything!"
Meanwhile, in the relative shadowy safety of a tree, Bruce watched as half of the group broke away and started combing the beach while the other half moved over and surrounded the Javelin.
Under normal circumstances, Bruce would have found the expression on Clark's face amusing – it wasn't every day he got the chance to see the Boy-Scout look so flustered as he tried (and failed) to explain himself. Then again, it wasn't everyday he was being threatened by Amazons and virtually stuck in the air like a kitten up a tree.
But, since this wasn't normal circumstances and he was faced with a deadline, Bruce turned his attention back to the task at hand. Careful as to not give away his location, he silently slipped away and started making his way to his intended destination – the Royal Palace.
The news of not one, but two males' arrivals on the arrival came to Hippolyta rather unexpectedly.
From the vague description given to her from one of the sentries, the Queen was rather surprised to hear that one of the male's descriptions matched the hero, Superman's, while she was less than thrilled that the other was dressed as a bat and had disappeared in a billow of smoke.
She found it strange, but not completely unsettling, she did however wonder what on earth the Justice League's two Patriarchs were doing in her kingdom.
As Hippolyta was lost in thought sitting on her throne, the sudden shrill cry of one of her handmaidens alerted her, as well as her General, Phillipus, of another presence at the window.
Drawing her sword to protect her Queen, Phillipus narrowed her eyes at the imposing masked figure that just entered the throne room.
"Your highness," the Batman said in a low, almost guttural voice.
Hippolyta waved Phillipus down before calmly regarding the hero in front of her. "Batman…" She acknowledged. "I wasn't aware that we had an appointment. What brings a warrior from the Man's World all the way to Themyscira at the present hour?"
"I… apologize for the unusual time, but I stand here before you regarding a very important matter."
The Queen arched a delicate brow. "And that would be…?"
"Your daughter," The Dark Knight stated, taking both woman by surprise.
Sitting up straighter, Hippolyta and Phillipus exchanged brief looks with each other. "What about the Princess?" she asked slowly.
"I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but I care very much for Diana."
Hippolyta nodded. "Yes… I have been informed that you and my daughter have been… what's the accurate term again?"
"I believe it's called 'dating', my Queen." Phillipus answered.
"Ah, yes, that. Thank you." Hippolyta said, turning back to Batman. "I believe you and Diana 'dating', or courting, one another?"
"It's more than that. Your highness, I love your daughter. So much in fact, I've come all this way to ask something very important of you."
The Queen's posture visibly stiffened at his open honesty. "Speak, Dark Knight. What it is?"
"Your blessing," Batman answered.
At her side, Hippolyta heard Phillipus's sharp intake of breath.
"My blessing, do you mean…?"
Batman nodded. "There is a tradition in the Man's World that any would-be-suitor would approach the parents of the object of his affection, and ask for their permission to marry first. And that's what I fully intend to do, right here, right now."
Hippolyta stared at him intently for a full, tense minute, gauging the little visible emotion on his face first before she spoke again.
"Though I am… unfamiliar with your customs, I have to ask – if I were to refuse you my 'blessing', what would your next course of action be?"
"Forgive me, but it wouldn't stop me. I plan on asking Diana to marrying me, with or without your permission." He spoke blatantly, causing Phillipus to tighten her grasp around the hilt of her sword.
Hippolyta smiled slightly. "If my opinion means so little too you, why come all this way then?"
"I am nothing if not thorough." Batman said matter-of-factly. "Besides, your opinion means everything to Diana. If I had your approval, it would make asking her to spend our lives together just so much easier."
She considered this for several moments. "…Before I give my answer, first tell me this." the Queen said, standing up. "If you and my daughter are to wed, to whom will she be binding herself to? Would it be to Bruce Wayne… or to the Mask of the Bat?"
The Queen didn't have to see his face to know that Batman was carefully weighing his answer to her. But when he did indeed give her his answer, the mighty Queen of the Amazons found herself impressed with the mortal standing in front of her.
"She would be marrying the man standing behind both of them."
"I see…" she said. "Very well… you have my permission, Dark Knight."
Batman nodded curtly while his posture seemed to slacken somewhat.
"However…" the Queen said before he left again. "I don't need to tell you what will happen if you go back on your word. If I find out that you have been toying with my daughter's emotion, if at any moment I sense you are making a fool out of her, you will need more than the mercy of the gods to protect yourself from my wrath. Am I understood?"
There was the making of a smile on Batman's face. "You wouldn't have to worry about that, your highness. I don't ever intend on hurting Diana. That and I already have a butler and two highly-trained sons who have threatened to castrate me if I ever did anything remotely as stupid as that."
With another small, now admittedly amused smile from the Queen directed at him, Batman disappeared through the window again just as the double doors at the end of the room burst open and more guards spilled inside.
"Your majesty – we heard one of the servants say she that saw the man dressed as a demon, enter from the garden. Are you hurt?"
"I am fine." Hippolyta reassured. "Call off the rest of your sisters. Allow the Batman to return to his ship."
The guards looked at their queen in confusion. "My Queen?" one of them asked.
"Give out the order not to attack on sight. The Dark Knight is not to be harmed."
There were more confused looks exchanged between them, but none of the guards questioned her and were quick to leave.
When they were alone again, Phillipus looked at Hippolyta questioningly.
"If I may… I would have expected you to challenge him at the least. Are you really comfortable with the idea of some man masquerading around as a bat marrying the princess?"
"Oh, there will be a challenge issued soon enough, I assure you." The Queen said, sitting back down in her throne.
"Then, why…?"
"He seemed determined enough to attempt bypassing our defences just to speak to me personally. And… odd as it might be, I do believe he cares for the Princess… so, I will overlook his insolence, for now."
Phillipus nodded. "As you see fit, my Queen…"
The way out took less time than it did getting in. Having heard the Queen give out the order to her soldiers not to attack him, Bruce opted for a less covert route back to the Javelin.
But, although the Amazons did not attack him, he was more than aware of just how many eyes were on him – he heard them talking amongst each other as he passed them in hushed but not too-hushed voices and could he practically feel the glares aimed to the back of his head.
At that moment, however, Bruce couldn't have cared less. They could have been throwing rocks or chasing after him with torches and pitchforks, he would have still been experiencing the overwhelming sense of relief he felt right at that moment.
One down, one to go, he thought to himself.
Bruce must have been beside himself, because the moment he set foot on the beach, there was a sudden blur of red and blue, and an all-too-powerful sensation of a pair of heavily muscled arms constricting around his waist, literally lifting him off his feet.
"Why didn't you tell me!" the Kryptonian accused happily, tightening his already unbreakable death-grip.
Damn his super-hearing. "Kent, let go of me this instant!" Bruce snarled. Dark or not, it was a highly awkward situation, two men hugging (or in this case, a super-powerful buffoon forcefully ensnaring the other), in mid-air, for the whole world to see – there was a small crowd beginning to gather below.
Clark was unflappable. "I don't think so, Bruce! Somebody's got to properly congratulate the Big Bad Bat – and who better than me? At least I'm bulletproof."
If it weren't for the fact that his arms were pinned to his side and that he had forgotten to bring his Kryptonite with him, Bruce was more than willing to prove that he wasn't invulnerable.
But, sighing, Bruce decided that he might as well indulge Clark a little longer. As much as it annoyed him at times, Clark Kent was one of the few genuinely honest people in the world – he didn't have to act as if he was happy for his friend, he just was.
When Clark set him back down again, the smile on his face could have lit up the sky. "I still can't believe you're finally going do it – Bruce, you're getting married!"
Bruce reluctantly worked the Kryptonian-made crick in his neck. "I have to ask her first, Clark."
"She'll say yes, I just know it." Clark stated confidently. "I mean, you have her mother's approval, the battle's half won already."
"You're worse than Alfred. He's eavesdrops almost just as much as you do." Bruce said before the built-in alarm clock in his suite started going off and he sighed. "Perfect, and now I'm late too."
"Then how about you ask J'onn to beam you up and you can get to Cave through there? I'll take the Javelin back." Clark offered.
Again, if things were different, Bruce wouldn't have taken him up on his offer, but he really was running later than he anticipated.
Nodding once, Bruce then opened the comm. link again. "Batman to Watchtower – come in Watchtower – requesting immediate teleportation."
"This is Watchtower, locking onto your location now, Batman." J'onn's voice sounded over the communicator.
Switching off the link again, Bruce turned back to Clark again. "…Thank you."
Clark's smile, if possible, only grew broader. "Don't mention it. Now go get her."
Before anything else could be said, Bruce's entire body started to glow and with a blindingly bright flash of light and the sensation of being dissolved molecule by molecule only to be reassembled moments later, he was back on the Watchtower.
"Welcome back, Batman." The Martian said stoically. I also see that congratulations are in order as well. He mentally added. "Will you be going directly to the Batcave?"
"Yes." And thank you.
"Preparing telleporter," Relax, my friend, all will end well.
Just as Batman could be shrouded in more light, the corners of his lips tugged upwards in a half-smile.
"I hope so." He said, and disappeared.
"Back of every achievement is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law."
- Brooks Hays
"Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law."
- Japanese Proverb
A/N: Too much, too little, too fruity? What do you think?
First off, this story isn't set in any specific point in time in any of the comics or animated series. And secondly, I got the inspiration from watching The Hangover Parts 1 & 2 more than I probably should have. One thing led to another, and I started thinking how a group like the Justice League boys would react in a similar situation – the result of said thought gave birth to this story.
If you have any suggestions or comments, please feel free to leave a Review or contact me via a PM. Any feedback is highly appreciated :)
Until next time
GoddessofDawn out