I flew back to Tree Hill to see what was left for me. So far I have found nothing. It's like everything has been snatched from me. I mean even Mouth has someone. It seems like once again Peyton is the one left alone. I don't want to be alone anymore. I want to have Lucas back in my life saving me when life seems to be getting too rough. I need him here for me to talk to till I fall asleep at night. He's the one for me and I know he is. One day he is going to realize that too I know he will. I know right now he seems scared of letting me back in, but I wont let him down again. I can promise you that. I need him to know that after he told me that my art mattered to him I was inspired. At that moment I just wanted to publish my art everywhere. He made me realize that my art was good enough to be shown to the world. He is my inspiration and he doesn't even know it. I loved that passage in his book, Suddenly it was as if the roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzers, the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from 1,000 miles away, and what remained in that bizarre, muffled silence was only Peyton. The girl whose art, passion, and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity. The realization that we had always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth - I was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer. Who am I kidding I loved every single passage in his story. He needs to know how great he truly is. He use to put himself down a lot when it came to his writing but he needs to know that's not true. He needs to know how great his writings truly are. Its what got me back home.
Flashback
Peyton met up with Lucas at the River court and stood outside of his truck. Everything seemed so perfect. It seemed like the wind was just right, the sun was sitting at the right time, it just seem to good to be true.
"So what you want to talk about?" Peyton says nervously knowing what he wanted to say.
"Why is it so hard for you to move on? I don't understand you are the one that told me no when I asked you to marry me Peyton. That was your choice. You were the one I chose to spend forever with and you were the one that I was ready to settle down with, but you said no so I moved on."
"I never said no."
"Peyton we all know what not right now means. If you wanted to you would have said yes right then and there but no you said not right now."
"Lucas you don't understand."
"Then please explain."
"There are days when I wake up and realize how much I have screwed things up. Lately I wake up with the realization that you are finally gone. You are gone because of my foolishness of actually telling the man I loved so much not right now. Of course I want to marry you right now."
"And it took you being away from me for three years to realize that Peyton?"
"No Lucas I realized it the day I woke up with you not there. You are actually out of my life and there is nothing I can do that's going to bring you back."
"Your right I am out of your life. So please Peyton just move on without me."
"Lucas when we were standing in the middle of the basketball court right after you made that winning shot I was so proud of you. You think I don't care Lucas. Why do you think I have all these copies of your book on my shelf Lucas? Its because I could not walk pass your book and not pick it up and when I did pick it up I couldn't put it down so I bought it. I read it everyday." Peyton opens her car door and pulls out the book. She flips to the page that she had bookmarked. "I read this part and wonder why you ever wrote it. Peyton hands it to him. "Read it to me."
"Come on Peyton."
"Read it Lucas."
"And there she was. She looked so graceful and so delicate. Peyton Sawyer is the love of my life and forever for us starts now."
"Starts now Lucas huh? Since when did forever get so short?"
"It ended that night I left that hotel room Peyton. You say not right now didn't mean never but why did it take you three years to come back to me Peyton? No phone calls and no emails. Was I suppose to be a psychic and just know you were going to come back?"
"I wanted to see if your love for me was strong enough to last until I came back."
"Guess it wasn't strong enough." Lucas says as he gets in his truck and speeds off.
Flashback Ends
No matter how much I try to deny it Peyton is always going to be number one in my life. There was never a day when I got back to Tree Hill that I did not regret not fighting for her. I hid with Lindsey. That's all this is. This is me trying to hide with someone else to prove to Peyton that I could move on. I wanted to release my weakness so I did. My weakness ended up hurting the one I loved and cared about the most. I know she's an emotional wreck, but she's the one that told me not right now. The insecure person I know I am took that as her telling me no. I know I made a mistake by proposing to Lindsey but what else was I suppose to do. I didn't know Peyton was serious when she told me to wait. God I love that girl. She inspired me to be so much more than what I thought I was capable of being. Her words and her drawings is what got me to where I am now. Her drawings were not just simple things, but they were of clarity. Simple clarity. Sometimes when I was feeling down I would sit in front of my computer and just stare at her beautiful face on her webcam. I miss those days. I would watch her draw out her anger if she was having a bad day or I would watch her smile while she drew out her happiness when she was having a great day. She knows I still love her. She has to know. I mean the other night at TRIC when I kissed her back she had to know how much it hurt me to have to let her go again. I didn't want to let go. I wish at times that I could freeze moments like that and just relive them over and over again. Peyton Sawyer is my happiness not Lindsey.
Flashback
And there she was. Right where I pictured she would be when all my dreams came true. Standing there in her cute cheerleading uniform spinning around in the confetti. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Out of everyone that was running up to me congratulating me all I wanted was to just hold her in my arms and whisper in her ear how much I love her and how I always have.
Peyton knocks on Lucas's door. Lucas stumbles to the door and greets Peyton.
"Peyton Sawyer. What are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to say congratulations and how proud I am of you. I came to watch the new Tree Hill Ravens play. You're a great coach. You worked really hard for tonight and you deserved to have gotten everything you got."
"Do you have a minute?"
"Yeah."
"Ok come in."
Peyton comes in Lucas's room and sits on his bed.
"Peyton I have days when I feel like the world is just gaining up on me and I have nowhere to go. I feel like maybe this is it for me. I tried to get my book published and had no success. Tried to get into the college of my dreams and got turned down because my GPA was 1 point off what they wanted. All through high school you plan your life for days like these and for them to not turn out the way you wanted them to..."
"Lucas things will work out with time. I know they will. You have so much going for you. You are brilliant when it comes to writing and you are an obvious great basketball coach."
Lucas smiled at her. She always knew the perfect things to say when I was feeling down. For some reason she always made the pain go away.
"Yeah but basketball isn't going to last forever."
"Yeah maybe not, but Lucas you are such a hard worker and a really wonderful guy. You will succeed no matter what. Just please trust me on that."
"Peyton I was in denial."
"What?"
"You hurt me so bad that night in the hotel when you told me not right now. I was just hoping I could let you feel half that hurt I felt when you told me no, but I don't think it was possible. You saw it Peyton, you saw all that love I had for you and you still said no."
"Lucas we were 18 years old. I was scared and I was shocked. You come to LA out of nowhere and asked me to marry you. That was a lot to take in at one time. I was scared to say yes and have to leave everything behind and I was scared to say no because then you would leave me so I said not right now. Lucas if I knew saying not right now was going to make you leave me I would have never said it."
"What was I suppose to do Peyton? You were gone and you never called and no emails. So I figured you had moved on."
Peyton sits there in silence.
"I still love you Peyton. Even after all that I cannot stop loving you."
"Stop it Lucas."
"Stop what?"
"Stop whatever your doing here, because I cannot go through all this again. You can't say all this stuff if things are going to stay the same."
"Peyton I am serious I love you."
"Why?"
"Because today I was sitting in the library and I was reading my Nicholas Spark book and I looked over and flashbacks just poured in my head. I remember the first time I met you was in that very library and at that same table I was at. You were sitting there drawing and I was sitting there reading. I knew you were Nathans girlfriend but I didn't care. Then we went to that party that night and you were there."
"I remember that night as bright as day. I ended up pulling you up stairs and spilling my heart out to you about Nathan. You were such a good listener."
"And a good kisser if I remember you saying that correctly."
Peyton laughs as she playfully hits him in the arm.
"Lucas when I was in New York after you left I would look in the mirror and I would say yes over and over again. I rehearsed saying yes, because I just knew if I came back to Tree Hill for you that you would be there waiting for me. And if you was I would have my line memorized. The line that I have been waiting to say for three long years."
"Peyton we have grown apart. I'm scared of letting her go. I'm sorry."
"Yeah Lucas so am I."
And that's how it ended. No more words said.
Flashback Ends
Peyton was sitting in her studio just listening to Mia's music. Just trying to find something to keep her mind off the horrible week she just had. She hears someone entering the room. She looks up to see the figure of the man she was just trying so hard to forget about.
"If your here to yell at me some more just save your breath. I'm going to leave you alone from now on. I have to understand that your with Lindsey now and not me."
"Peyton I didn't come here to argue I came to talk."
"Ok about what?"
"Peyton in my lifetime I have screwed up a lot of things. I think I want one thing but I crush it because I'm scared of the reality that I might not get that one thing. So instead I let it go by me and act like I don't care that its not there. I was sitting in the library today and I got up and I walked by that same spot that you were sitting when you had hurt your leg and I realized something. I was always there to save you Peyton. It wasn't by coincidence and it wasn't by luck. It was all by choice and I couldn't help myself not to be there. Peyton my love for you is something that's always going to be there and its not going away. I have tried to push it away but it wont go. The more I think about it the more I feel like I have made a big mistake."
"Then stop thinking about it."
"I can't. I wrote a whole novel on my love for you. How do you expect all that to change in three years?"
"You wrote a novel about me but I have also drawn a dozen pictures about you. They don't mean anything they are just things we feel at the moment. Like words and images we have to let out on paper. Words don't mean a thing until you prove them to be true and sincere."
At that very moment Lucas did something that was very unexpected. He grabbed her face and pulled her in for a long, but very sincere kiss. Peyton also unexpectedly pulls away and tries to walk away.
"I'm sorry." Lucas says knowing he shouldn't have done it, but he couldn't help himself not to.
"Peyton turns around. "Your sorry Luke? I have came back and tried like hell to get you back and you told me I couldn't have you back so I have finally accepted that and you do this. The moment I felt like I'm actually going to be ok without you and you do this Lucas?"
"I couldn't help not to Peyton. I feel like your slipping out of my life and I can't let that happen."
"Then let me be back in it Lucas. Don't marry Lindsay."
"Look it's not that easy."
"It was clearly a huge mistake for me to come back so that's why tomorrow I'm catching the first flight back to LA."
"Don't do that. Peyton you are so much happier down here."
"I am? You could have fooled me. How can I be happy when the man I want to devote my life to is getting married to someone else? I wanted to marry you so bad that's why I had to come back. I came back for you Lucas. I can deny it to everyone all I want, but it's the truth. From that night that I woke up and found you gone I have been missing you. Missing you is a feeling that's not going to just disappear. Its going to be something that is going to stay in my heart until you finally wake up one day and realize you feel the same. I want you and its always been you."
"Peyton you left me when I needed you the most. You left me when my love for you was so unbearing that it hurt me to be away from you. I cried every night wanting you to walk back in my life. You cannot come back and expect me to say its all ok and I still love you cause its not ok. It was never ok. I cannot be like I was and risk the chance of losing you again I just can't."
At that point Peyton's eyes widened and a tear rolled down her eyes.
"Bye Lucas."
Peyton walks out and Lucas let's her this time.
Peyton once again sits in her room and draws out her anger.
I never knew the true concept of having your heart broken until I met Lucas Scott. This boy meant the world to me. He showed me the world in a whole new light. It was amazing, but scary at the same time. I never knew I could open myself up to someone so quickly like I did him. I was so amazed by everything he did. He seemed to live his life with no care in the world. He says if something is meant to happen it will happen eventually. He was right, because it did happen. I never knew I was capable of loving a man the way I loved him. It was so much more than an infatuation. I never felt this feeling for anyone and I loved it. I was in love for the first time and it was great. Now he seems to have taken all that away from me. He took all my happiness and hopefulness away. I will move on without him one of these days.
Peyton packs her bags. This time she does it with tears rolling down her eyes with regret. She remembered last time she did this she was so happy. She was leaving tree hill with everything and now she has to leave it all behind and let it be. Peyton arrives at the airport and sits on the bench. Flashing on the overhead was "LA 20 minutes." Peyton sighs as she waits slowly for her plane to be ready.
"People always leave."
Peyton hears a familiar voice say from behind her. She rolls her eyes and turns around to see Lucas.
"Isn't that what you said? People always leave." Lucas says again walking closer to her.
"Please go Lucas." She turns back around hoping he would leave and say no more.
"Peyton I lied to you when I told you that you shouldn't of came back. I have wanted you back in Tree Hill for three years and you are finally here, but you were to late Peyton. You waited to long."
"I know this Lucas. You came all the way down here to tell me something I already knew?"
"I came down here to try my hardest to convince you to stay..." Lucas gets cut off.
"Lucas you are so great. You have came so far with your novel and you met a beautiful girl who your about to marry. I cannot come back and just change all that. The only thing I can do is be your friend and support you and I do. I do support you even though it's hard sometimes. But I am sorry I cannot stand it anymore living in a place where the one I want to be with is with someone else. It hurts to much. It hurts right here." Peyton says placing her hand over his heart. "Maybe someday you will realize you love me again just like you use too."
Lucas places his hand over her hand.
"I think someday is here. Peyton I love you. It has always been you. When all my dreams came true it was you standing beside me and when everything went downhill for me it was you still be my side. With you I feel like I don't have to always be perfect and you will still love me just the same."
"I could love you forever if you gave me the chance."
"Marry me." Lucas says straight out hoping it goes better than last time he asked. "Please don't let me down again Peyton."
"Don't be stupid Lucas your with Lindsey."
"I broke it off with her. You don't get it. I am in love with you and there's nothing you can say or do that's going to change that. Forever for us starts now Peyton Sawyer"
Peyton's face lit up with a smile she throws her arms out and hugs him.
"I love you too Lucas. Yes, I will marry you."
Lucas picks her up and swings her around.
Peyton could not believe all this was actually happening. She actually got what she wanted in the end. This world is a scary place to live in. You have life, love, and friendships that are all going to go wrong every once in awhile. You just have to learn how to deal with them and make it better. You can't always get scared and run away sometimes you just have to stay and work it out. Today was the best day of my life. The love of my life actually gave me that second chance I have been waiting so long for. I am not going to screw up this time. I am going to love Lucas Scott from this day forward.
Please R/R and let me know what you thought