It's A Match
Chapter 1
Elizabeth Keen was standing across from the one man who had betrayed her more than what her 'husband' had. In the heart-wrenching moment that Raymond Reddington had admitted to killing her father, the invisible barrier holding the remainder of Liz's world had come crashing down in pieces around her. After discovering the truth of Tom's deceit, she never thought she could be hurt like that by someone who was supposed to be close and care for her. However, as she stood there now, she realised just how wrong she had been. Silent tears had fallen, leaving trails of black mascara down her pale cheeks as she had listened to Reddington as he tried wholeheartedly to justify his killing Sam. Liz felt herself start to tremble partway through his explanation, but she had willed herself to stay composed, to not crumble as she listened to the criminal defend his actions.
She was aware of Dembe standing somewhere in the background behind her and she could sense the unease radiating from his body. His weight kept shifting from foot to foot through Reddingtons explanation, though she couldn't tell what opinion he actually had over his boss' actions. Liz was surprised he hadn't left the room when he was asked to when she first arrived, or maybe he had, and just silently returned to hear Reddington out without either of them realising. Then again, she knew that Dembe probably didn't trust her all that much, not that blamed him; the last time she had arrived at Reddingtons hotel suite this angry, she had put a pen through his neck. She hadn't been sorry then and she certainly wasn't sorry now. This time was different for her though; yes, she was angry but it was the senses of hurt and betrayal that were dominant in her tonight. Liz didn't have it in her to physically hurt Reddington, but she did want him to suffer in some sort of way. She knew Reddington had a connection to her; she didn't yet know what that was but she knew there was something. Liz knew that cutting herself off from him would make him suffer and she'd had enough; she didn't want anything more to do with him. She'd threatened to be done with him before but this time felt different... this time she knew too much had happened and there was no going back for her.
"We're done, I'm done... this ends right now..." She could feel a sob rising as she spoke and her voice caught in her throat as she tried to stifle it. The two of them had achieved so much together in the ten long months it had been since he had first sought her out but it all seemed redundant to her now. Right now, she wished Raymond Reddington had stayed off the grid and out of her life; she wished there was never a reason for their paths to have ever crossed. Liz looked at him now, purposely making eye contact to show that she was serious this time. She saw the obvious hurt visible in his eyes but she didn't care for his feelings. As far as she was concerned, Reddington had no right to feel anything in regards to her anymore. As she turned slowly and headed to the door, she registered that the criminal had shifted his position slightly to reach his hand out as if to try and stop her. It was at this movement that Liz turned her head to look back at him.
"God, you're a monster." Her voice was barely an audible whisper but when he retracted his out-stretched hand, she knew that he had indeed heard her. All Liz could do now was hope that he had actually gotten the message and agree to stay away from her this time. She gave Dembe one last, small sad nod before finally leaving the suite.
Once the door had slammed closed with a loud bang behind her, she walked quickly down the stairs before all but sprinting to her car, not wanting to risk breaking down in front of all the people now gathered in the hotels previously empty lobby. One minute Liz was sitting in her car without the engine running and the next, she was hesitantly walking through the front door to her empty house, not knowing how exactly she had gotten there. Liz made sure the door was shut safely behind her before she walked into the center of her living room and surveyed the space around her. Her eyes skated over the broken furniture and splinters of wood, shattered glass and crumpled photos; all tainted with lies and deceit. The memory of the fight with Tom was still fresh in her minds eye and as she thought about everything that had gone on in the last few months, Liz sank to her knees, her body overcome with emotion.
She stayed like that for nearly an hour before the tears seemed to dry up. Liz was both physically and emotionally exhausted from the events of the past few days but she didn't want to just sit there staring at her damaged apartment. She got slowly to her feet and made her way to the kitchen to grab a couple of garbage bags and started to bag up all the broken glass. After only being at it for a few minutes, Liz jumped back into a standing position, clutching her left hand in her right and cursing in pain.
"Fuck!" Fresh tears of pain sprung to Liz's eyes as she examined her hand, which was now oozing blood; a sharp, inch long piece of glass had embedded itself into her palm. She made her way back in the kitchen, to the sink, and ran her hand under the cold water to try and clean the wound. Removing her hand from the stream, she grabbed a dish cloth and gently dabbed it dry before gritting her teeth, gripping the end of the shard and yanking it free from the flesh of her palm.
"Shit, that's gonna scar... as if I need another one." She groaned to herself as she re-wrapped her hand with the dish cloth and stumbled around the kitchen looking for the small first aid kit she knew Tom had kept somewhere in there. Reaching in to the cupboard under the sink, she managed to locate the small bag amongst some of the cleaning products. Undoing it somewhat awkwardly, she emptied it on the counter before cursing at it's sparse contents - there wasn't a single bandage or gauze pad in sight. With no other option, Liz was left with trying to stem the blood and clean the wound as best she could before grabbing a new dish cloth and wrapping that round her hand and using a safety pin from the medical kit to secure it in place.
Sighing to herself again, Liz took one more look at what used to be her dining room before leaving the kitchen and heading up the stairs to the bathroom. Finding a couple of painkillers in the cabinet, she hastily swallowed them and splashed some water on her face in an attempt to tone down the puffiness from her crying. In the ten minutes she stood at the sink, Liz had scrubbed off the mascara trails and the grime from the days events and stared at herself, wondering what she had ever done to deserve the life she had?
Tom had been inserted into her life for reasons unbeknownst to her. To this day she still didn't know all the details surrounding the fire that killed her father and lead to her being adopted by Sam. One thing she was sure of though, was that somehow, Raymond Reddington was involved. Why or how she didn't know, but she sure as hell was going to find out.
She needed to talk to someone. Someone to let it all out to. Someone that she trusted. A friend...
Deciding that she couldn't stay in the house any longer, Liz headed to the bedroom, pulled a duffle bag from the closet and stuffed it with a good few days worth of clothes and necessities. She didn't want to make it easy for Tom to trace her from now on so she took all the emergency cash they had saved together from a box hidden in the back of the spare bedroom closet. Counting it, she hadn't realised that they had accumulated nearly three thousand dollars but that was more than enough to book her into a cheap motel for a few nights.
Leaving her wedding and engagement rings on what had been 'Tom's' (what else was she supposed to call him?) nightstand and left the bedroom with the duffle bag slung over her shoulder. Even though the house was packed with things, things that helped make her life what it was, the house felt empty and silent and it was almost like she had no place being there. Passing past the pictures hanging on the walls, the memories from them felt alien to her now. She reached the front door, and after taking one last, lingering look at at the damaged living and dining room, she turned off the light and left the house, locking the door behind her.
Liz jogged down the steps in front of the house and stalked towards her car. Heaving the duffle into the boot, she contemplated where to go. The more she thought about it, the more she realised that whoever she talked to had to know a little about her relationship with Reddington and about the suspicions surrounding Tom all those months ago. That ruled out most people. Taking all that into account, she came to the conclusion that she needed to talk to someone from the bureau, and as much as she like Cooper, she knew he wouldn't give her a chance to fully explain all the details before hauling her ass in for questioning. She felt that she could go to Aram for help with most things but she got the feeling that he wouldn't be able to help her now; plus she felt his unease with doing something for her off the books. As for Meera, she wasn't that close to her and Liz knew she would feel guilty for pulling her away from her husband and children - she already had limited time with them; it would be unfair to limit that time further. That left one person...
"Ressler..."
Jumping behind the wheel, Liz started the car and made the half hour journey to her partners apartment. Why hadn't she thought of him first? He was her partner for Christs sake. Ever since she was kidnapped and held by the stewmaker, the partnership between them had evolved from that of just colleagues to that of friends. He was probably one of the closest people to her at this moment in 'd had their disagreements, don't get her wrong, but no matter what happened between them, there was an unspoken understanding that whatever the situation may be, they would always have each others back. She had been there in the forest with him, watched as he battled over whether or not to kill Bobby Jonica, talked him out of the action that would end his career and land him in prison. She had visited most days after work during his two weeks compassionate leave, drove him to and from Audreys funeral (even if she did wait in the car). He knew all about Reddington - well most of it - he had hunted the man for five years after all. As for Tom, Ressler knew that she and him were having problems, he'd even offered to 'rough him up' for her once and Liz smiled at the memory. She knew that after all the trouble during the Gina Zanetakos case and Toms possible involvement, Ressler never did trust Toms innocence - and he had been right.
Parking the car in an available spot outside Resslers apartment, Liz checked her phone again, noting that it was nearly ten past eleven. Would he even still be awake? Maybe he would... they'd been given the weekend off. No matter how much Liz needed a friend, she just couldn't move herself from the car. She thought about what she was going to say and she found she had fresh tears rolling down her face. Breathing deeply, she pulled herself from the car and traipsed to Resslers apartment and stood, slumped slightly, outside his door. Taking one last deep breath, she knocked and not even a minute later the door was pulled open in front of her, her partners face laced with concern. She didn't even realise she was speaking until she heard herself finish.
"I didn't know where else to go."