Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. If I did...well...you don't wanna know.

/

2:58 p.m.

I've been in the library since 11:30 a.m. trying to distract myself from my stupid breakdown I had yesterday. God it was so embarassing.

Anyways, I decided to look for some books to see if they could help me feel better or help me...or something! and lo and behold, there were. Well for me anyway. I wanted to ask the librarian about books on self-healing but...how pathetic would that have looked. I know there's nothing wrong with receiving help, especially if it's coming from you and not because your doctor is forcing you to do it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

So in the end, I opted to just walking around aimlessly, looking for...something.

In the end, I ended up walking around for about an hour and I got a total of 5 books that I wanted to check out. 2 of those books were about drawing. Since I, unfortunately, don't possess that amazing trait that the rest of my family does. Damn them. The other 3 books were about helping one self in a certain way.

The third book was about thyroidism. I have hypothyroidism and I wanted to see if there was anything that I could do to help me cure it, other than having to take medication for the rest of my life. Turns out there isn't. Unless I want to pay thousands and thousands on surgery to remove something, but...who has that kind of money now a days?! I sure as hell don't!

The fourth book was about improving yourself, conditioning, if you will, so well that you could loose weight, improve your vision, appear/feel younger and so many other amazing things that most people used to have when they were on the prime of their lives.

The fifth and final book, was about self-healing. I found it on my own without the help of a librarian. Hehe. It tells ways on how to better yourself and also about certain common illnesses. Like acne, headaches, colds, memory loss, snoring, even your libido! Pretty cool, if you ask me. The best part is that it tells you several different things you can do to help you with whatever problem you may have! Herbal therapy, exercise, accupresure, diet, what to avoid, home remedies, and daily supplements are some of the things that the author tells us to help! Note to self: buy this book on Amazon.

My love for books comes back every time I step into a library, which hasn't been in a few years...since college...5 years...heh.

/

Yesterdays breakdown was...embarassing, to say the least, not only did it happen in front of my whole family, but apparently my asshole of a brother recorded the whole thing! Ugh! Damn you, Itachi!

I've been seeing a psychologist for who knows how long now and everytime I go, the usual topic of my misery and anxiety is my ex-fiance. I mean why wouldn't it be him? Six years of dating, 7 of knowing each other and the jackass decides to cheat on me by sexting not 1, not 2, but 6 different people! We have a kid together for fucks sake! How dare he do this to us! To me! After everything I did for him!

I abandoned my family when they most needed me, I dropped out of college, I moved 14 hours away, I was imprisoned in his house without my knowledge, I left all of my decisions to him, I had his baby without consent, I defended him from all of the friends that always told me to stay away from him and he lays this shit on me!

Fuck, I'm such an idiot.

The only good things that happened from the 7 years wasted were my amazing baby boy, Haruto, my career choice as a massage therapist, the increase of my independence, and the meeting of some amazing friends that I now consider family.

Anyways, back to my breakdown. Since I couldn't talk about my ex to my shrink during our session, for some reasom I talked about this stupid boy that was interested in me until I told him I had a kid, all of my emotions and anger well bubbling inside of me. On the verge on explosion. All it took for them to burst was my brother saying, "Why do you have your face like that, you look so pissed off"

And then, right there, in my mom's kitchen, during our weekly visit, since we moved back to Konoha, in front of my whole frikin family, I screamed.

"FUCK YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS INSULTING ME?! I NEVER SAY SHIT ABOUT YOUR FUKIN MELTED CANDLE FACE AND YOUR PATHETIC LIFE! LOOK AT YOURSELF! YOUR 25 FUKIN YEARS OLD YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOM YOU HAVE A SHITTY JOB AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO YOUR OWN LAUNDRY! WHAT FUKN RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO INSULT ME! AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE AND SACRIFICED FOR YOU! AFTER BEING RAPED BY YOUR PIECE OF SHIT PENIS! AFTER LOOKING THE OTHER WAY WHENEVER I SAW YOUR FUKIN PHONE BLINKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! AFTER FORGIVING YOU FOR SO MUCH CRAP YOU MADE ME GO THRU! GO FUCK YOURSELF, KABUTO!"

Bam!

I punched him.

I punched my own brother. In the face.

I broke his nose.

I knew it was him I was yelling at, but after a while his face morphed into my ex, Kabuto. I couldn't control it.

My mom, dad, my grandma and grandpa, my uncle and his husband...

All staring at me wide eyed. With fear and pity in their eyes. I heard my baby's loud cry.

THAT made me snap out of it.

What could I do but run upstairs to the guest room and cry myself to sleep.

/

This morning, I woke up at 7, got dressed and decided to head towards the library to distract myself. I texted my mom to watch my baby and she only texted back, "Eat something".

I didn't.

And now I have a major headache and feel like vomiting. I should head home. There better be food waiting for me.

/

Author's Note:

Haruto = Best Warmth.

Okay, I'll be honest with you guys...I wrote all of this while I was at the library...thinking about my life. Everything is true. It all happened to me. In this chapter at least. I was originally just typing all of this to vent, but somehow it morphed into a NaruSasu story...

Anywho, if you [dis]like this story, please let me know. Throw me hate if you want, but depending on how many reviews and such this gets, I'll see if I'm capable of continuing.

This IS my first NaruSasu story, and I would LOVE to continue and stick to it, since there aren't that many NaruSasu stories and I haven't been able to finish ANY of my stories thus far...

Thank you for taking the time to read!

3 Gem