The Degenerates Guide to Survival
Summary: One persons morally questionably gray is another's white or black, not sure of where they started they know this can only end bad.
Rating: M for language, violence, and everything you're not morally supposed to do and some not so great real life stuff.
AN:/ Gay. If you have a problem with any of that then leave. Simple. Done. Bye, you're not wanted. Featuring the love decagon you never asked for. Also, the kids your mom warned you about. I pretty much never see some of these pairs and I was curious to write about them even if it just maybe be sex. Definitely going to be SasuNaru but not for a while, if you just want to read about complicated love decagons and not set on a certain pair then maybe this is for you.
01. Your Typical Neighborhood Kids
At first it's a hum, soft and overpowered by the sound of water through rickety pipes or the high whistle of the kettle on the gas stove. It grows louder, so much so it permeates the wooden floorboards and gains momentum, it sprouts feet and rhythm and dances all over their apartment. The melody isn't peaceful or soothing it's loud and in your face and even hypnotic. The shadows shift in the corner and a small amount of light falls over the dark features of his friend.
"The neighbors" he says matter of factly. His voice is soft and smooth, he always sounds content.
He on the other hand hardly does.
Clad in only black Sai looks back at him. It's really the only color he wears. His big black eyes are passive.
"We haven't introduced ourselves yet" he says, charcoal all over his hands. The new neighbors moved in a week ago. They themselves had only moved in two weeks ago. It wasn't just one or two or maybe three at most-it was eight. Based on what he's seen from the landlord Jiraiya he's not surprised he's rented to that many college kids. They're loud and annoying and he doesn't like it, they don't need any more potential negative attention nearby, not this close.
"Want to?"
"Do you want to?" Sai asks instead. He looks down at his sketchpad before closing it. Gaara leans against the windowsill. Sai's eyes roam over his face.
"Are you trying to get us in trouble?" He says and Sai tips his head just the slightest bit.
"Wouldn't hurt" there's a heartbeat of silence before a ghost of a smile wisps across their faces, mutual understanding threaded in the silence within the room.
Standing in front of their bedroom window Sai peeks down at the parking lot to find drunk college students loitering around the entrance and all their cars taking up the lot. Some are dancing, some are messing around but they're all laughing. A couple of kids point to their unit which has the lights turned on.
The complex itself is an architectural oddity, three of the four worn down units their neighbors occupy are stacked on top of each other, two on the bottom and one on the top. The fourth unit which is theirs is attached on the side almost like a garage and top heavy to mold into the empty space. They all share a wooden rickety porch.
Tossing his band tee at Sai's face he hears a muffled huff and a curious "Gaara?"
He grunts in response.
"Does it snow in Suna?"
"No, but it gets cold." Sai goes quiet and Gaara shakes the bad taste this city leaves in his mouth. Coming up behind him Gaara takes the olive green beanie hanging over their mirror and fits it to Sai's head in the reflection. The color suits him and Sai tosses Gaara his gray beanie, he messes with it so it swallows most of his vivid red hair. Sai flashes him his small standard closed mouth smile. Too much black in this case would not be ideal. Dressed like normal party goers Sai pockets their house keys and they walk out the back door.
Walking around the perimeter of the house the lingering scent of weed, alcohol and smoke is strong. They meld in with the crowd at the edges of the parking lot and enter with them, most of them are already too brazenly drunk to realize their presence. The music overflows out of the walls onto the porch and rings out in the cold autumn night alongside the yellow streetlamps and cricket chirps. The door opens to the strong billows of liquor. Party goers pour out of their neighbor's open apartments, into the hallway and even up the stairs into the last unit. Clouds of blunt and cigarette smoke hang like ghosts in a graveyard and a perpetual haze rolls throughout the whole complex. Most of them reek of alcohol. Sai grabs his wrist and slips a beer into his hand, they tap cans in silent cheers.
The apartment belongs to the guys, he can tell by the ping pong table in the dining room and the pool table in the living room.
Sai can tell by how ugly the decor is.
The pool table attracts Sai's attention so they gather round and watch a pale guy with black hair and eyes squint in concentration as a guy with white hair grins at him. They recognize him. At best they've only seen passing glances of their neighbors.
Number one.
"Go Sasuke! Kick his ass!" An energetic redhead girl with glasses coos on the sidelines. He ignores her for having an intense stare off with the guy.
"C'mon Bastard that new sound system isn't gonna buy itself!"
Their blond neighbor with vibrant blue eyes shouts enthusiastically while rubbing his hands together hungrily. He has a huskier voice than Gaara expects. Number two. The one with black hair and eyes looks over his shoulder at him and glares mildly,
"Moron, we'd get a kitchen table before a sound system."
Looking around deeper in the complex Gaara spots a guy with black hair up in a ponytail and terrible posture leaning back on the couch talking to a girl. The distinct smell of cigarettes is heavy around there. His head almost lolls from side to side either really really stoned or trying to pay attention to her and failing. He maintains minimal interest but she doesn't seem to notice. His hair is distinctive enough to pick out from a crowd. Three.
They pass a crowd around a keg. The sight is impressive. Walking into the kitchen they find an intense game of beer pong. A guy with long straight brown hair and light lavender eyes stares across the table at another guy with scruffy dark brown hair and matching eyes. For some reason his shirt is wrapped around his head and he has two messy triangular streaks of red paint on his cheeks. He looks wild.
Behind him is a big guy with long brown hair too, red swirls on his cheeks.
Numbers four through six. The guy with lavender eyes gives a cocky smirks when his shot lands.
"Take off your pants, mutt, and...put them on your head" his voice is deep and no nonsense but under the influence of alcohol as it strains with amusement.
"Fine fine fine " Red-Triangle guy says looking miffed. Red-Triangle guy reaches for his pants and the crowd goes wild. They only notice Inhabitant Seven because her blush is brighter than his face paint and when her long dark hair, straight bangs, and same lavender eyes with the red tomato blush come into focus she's quite something.
Garra can't help but holler at the Red Triangle guys sudden shyness. Sai tugs at his sleeve lightly and Gaara pulls away to follow. Throughout the rest of the apartment they can't find the last two so they travel across the hallway to the next apartment that is solely working as a large dance floor. Strobing lights work to wrap around and distort dancing bodies, with everyone intoxicated and reckless they almost move like one. Music loud and in their face it vibrates through them to rattle their bones. Dancing bodies are handsy and push them this way and that. On the center of the dance floor is a hot blonde with colored eyes and her roommate with cotton candy pink hair. Under the kaleidoscope of lights they're hard to make out but the pink is a dead giveaway. They're surrounded by drooling guys and it takes him a second to recognize them. Seven and eight.
Gaara smirks, and makes a beeline for the bedrooms but is stopped by Sai around his wrist.
"Let's have some fun first" Sai whisper-shouts in his ear.
Gaara knows better, he really does.
But sometimes he indulges.
They indulge, and then they indulge some more, way more than they should...what's supposed to be an hour of fun turns into three. Mildly detached and entirely too buzzed Gaara hears Sai making up outrageous stories and lying about themselves to total strangers who guzzle it up. He almost laughs. They dance a bit. Upstairs is more dancing people but mostly those smoking or making out.
They make a game out of it, tip toeing around their neighbors, avoiding and dodging. Cops and robbers. Ninjas.
This isn't how neighbors should meet, he thinks mischievously, although ideally they wouldn't meet at all.
There comes a point in the night when the baby pink haired girl is being lifted in the air and chugging from the keg with her friends all cheering her on that Gaara finds himself following Sai across the hall. The three bedrooms are around the corner from the kitchen which is right past the living room where the majority of the crowd is. No one bats an eye when Sai rattles the bedroom door.
"It's locked?" He asks slurring just a bit. Worming himself between Sai and the wall Gaara kneels, keeping to the shadows to be discreet and is quick to pick the lock. It's a bit harder to do when drunk though.
The room has a state of the art computer system in one corner. It looks like something government hackers have in the movies. A plain bed bed is tucked away in the corner. The room is moderately clean. Closing the door behind them they begin to rummage through the room, poke and prod and open with careful hands. They know better than to touch the fancy computer, it'd be too much of a hassle anyway.
They'll come back for that later.
Sai swipes a rubix cube off the end table and starts to fiddle with it.
"The colors on this are hideous" he murmurs to himself. He makes sure to lock the door.
The low whoosh of the rotating cube is constant as Gaara opens up drawers and fumbles inside trying not to mess up anything too much.
"I'm keeping it" Sai states.
Narrowing his eyes he looks around the room when he comes up empty handed. He sticks his hand under one mattress and comes up empty handed.
"Help me find it" Gaara says and Sai begins to rummage through the closet. Gaara takes up the desk. He snatches a pair of wireless earbuds and puts them in his pocket. The fancy palm sized virtual infrared keyboard finds itself in his pocket.
"Found it"
Gaara turns his head.
"Nothing...Shikamaru Nara is broke" he says matter of factly, flipping through his wallet.
Gaara looks at the photo, over his shoulder, the lazy looking one.
The gleam of silver catches his eye and Gaara turns to look at it, sitting on top of a covered textbook is a fancy, metal lighter. Gaara flicks his wrist and the flame burns blue and strong, that finds its way in his pocket.
"Let's go, there's nothing else here." Slipping out of the darkened room the party still rages and people don't give them a second glance. The bedroom right next door has random potato chip bags in random places. Feeling under the mattress his fingers brush against the distinct touch of leather. Snatching the wallet he digs through and finds fifty dollars.
"Choji Akimichi, fun guy" Gaara murmurs sardonically. The beer pong player with red swirls on his cheeks is squinting at the camera with a dazed and constipated expression.
Sai shifts away from his side and a small sharp intake of air has Gaara turning to catch Sai dipping his hand into a fancy fish tank. In his hand is a flopping fancy looking robotic fish. In his own minor expression of excitement he switches it off and slips it into his pocket. He has nothing of value besides his laptop but that's too much of a hassle to take.
The tablet is another thing of its own, though. Opening the window Gaara is careful to double wrap the tablet in socks and drop it gently to the floor, it lands with a dull thud twenty feet down. Hopefully, it didn't break. They make sure to lock every door before they leave.
Reemerging into the party they slip in between the dancing bodies smooth like running water toward the last room and find that the door is open. They approach with hesitation.
Flicking on the lights they freeze for a heartbeat, sitting on the bed is a large white dog. Upon seeing them the dog hesitates before smiling at them and wagging its tail, they let out a breath of relief. Quick on his feet Sai lies on the bed to play with the dog. A flash of color catches his eye and an old school retro arcade console flashes brightly with harsh colors and annoying music.
He fiddles with it and tosses it to Sai who slips it into his pocket.
A Bluetooth speaker. He takes that.
The room is an absolute mess.
Kiba Inuzuka isn't as smart as his roommates, he leaves his wallet in his dresser. It seems he is Inhabitant Five a.k.a Red Triangle guy. Fifty dollars finds itself into Gaara's pocket.
"College students" he scoffs to himself.
It isn't long before he find themselves rolling around in the bed completely distracted by the fluffy white dog. His red leather collar reads Akamaru.
Akamaru loves the attention he receives and licks their faces and sheds all over them.
"We gotta go" Gaara says as he lays sprawled on the bed and flips over to rummage through the nightstand. He tosses a pair of big black framed glasses to Sai. The look suits him.
"Okay. We'll be back, okay Akamaru" the dog squirms happily at his name, not knowing the implication of Sais words.
They're not jerks. They leave the lights on for Akamaru.
It takes a minute of staying in the shadows with dry humping strangers until they merge into the mess of people. They find the neighbors all busy when they cross the hall into the other apartment.
They head into the furthest room away from the crowd and pick it with monster speed. The first thing that catches his attention is the swords mounted on the wall. Japanese style blades they shine deadly and real on the wall, their size is impressive.
"Katanas" Sai breathes besides him and hurries over to examine them. He smiles just barely as he runs his finger over the blade. The sharpness of the metal sends a shiver through him.
"Can we?" He asks almost hopeful.
"...not today."
The longing sigh he lets out is soft and almost untraceable.
"Fine."
He swipes the matte black watch on the night stand instead. Sasuke Uchiha is smart. He leaves his fancy fine leather wallet on the ledge of the box spring on the underside of his bed. He's a looker, the snide one at the pool table earlier. They get their hands on forty three dollars.
Gaara takes the fancy shot glasses on the dresser.
Leaving the room and moving on to the next one Sai makes eye contact with the pink haired girl and she does a double take. He feigns conversation with the couple next to them. They're obviously stoned out of their minds. She stares at Sai a little longer before continuing on her way. The room is too exposed to pick the lock and get in especially without strobing lights and dancing people. Being locked the only logical way in would be from outside.
A window to be exact.
It's getting late, not late enough to where people leave but to where the noise is apparent outside. The cold air is sobering and numbs their skin the slightest. Sai's black eyes water. The cold quickly seeps past Gaara's clothes.
"There's no one outside" Gaara murmurs looking down the left and right under the lonely streetlights. Ducking into the small space between the complexes Sai looks behind him before dragging a recycling bin casually at his side.
Gaara gestures him over. They locate the tablet and find it unharmed. Finding the locked bedroom they place the recycling bin under it. Sai's nose scrunches at the dumpster behind them. The dining room window is much too close for comfort considering they don't know where the apartments inhabitants are. Sai jumps up onto the bin first and finds purchase to push himself up. Just barely grasping the window ledge he pushes himself up he finds himself teetering on the edge. His fingers manage to grip the window and to his relief it comes up smoothly. He propels himself inside and he hears muffled thuds, knowing he's knocked something over. Breathing harshly on the carpeted ground, his abdomen throbs where the windowsill dug deep. His muscles quiver slightly.
With the wind knocked out of him and laying on the floor Sai opens his eyes to an upside down lit room and a pair of brown eyes watching him.