The frustration finally came crumbling down in waves as she slammed her fist on the table. He sat there, unmoving, unflinching, being swallowed whole by every emotion he felt. Their fighting was getting more frequent, and the emotional stress was almost too much to bear, for both of them. But she was so… tired of speaking to a brick wall all the time.
"I'm sorry," she apologized again, even though she'd done nothing wrong. He would ever blame her for feeling the way she did. He only wished she wouldn't hold him responsible either. He said nothing, his eyes never moving from the flickering flame that sat in the middle of the table.
"Please just talk to me. I know you're hurting. You don't think I miss him too?" she was desperate, pleading with every inch of her soul for him to become himself again. But that was just the thing… he never would be. It wasn't that he didn't want to be, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to be strong, to show his whole family he was doing okay. He was usually a brilliant liar, but not now, not when it mattered most.
The rest of the house had gone to bed, but he doubted any of them were sleeping. He inhaled sharply, and Angelina's eyes expectantly flew to him, hoping he would say something. But there were no words, and George wasn't sure if there ever would be. You could try forever to describe what it's like to lose your twin, but it would never do that soul-suffocating kind of pain justice. It was worse than only losing a family member, because in the process you lose a part of yourself. And you'll never get that part back, and that's the shattering realization that hurts the most. That's the part that sent him crashing down into the depths of depression every time.
No matter how many tears he shed.
No matter how many times he begged.
Fred was never coming back…
So he stopped crying, he stopped begging, he stopped living altogether. The man who was once so full of laughter and life holed up inside himself, shutting himself down, becoming a stone wall of nothing. He hardly spoke anymore and he silently resented himself for it. He knew this wasn't what Fred wouldn't have wanted. He would have wanted George to live for them both, to have double the fun, but it was so… impossible. He wanted nothing more than to live out Fred's wishes, even though he didn't even know if they were real, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
And that's when he heard it.
"George, you know this isn't right… You should be poking fun at everyone who's shedding a single tear for me. Especially Katie. I know she misses me. Hell, I miss her too, like hell. You, too. You probably more than anyone. But I'm not gone, not forever. I'm all around you. Keep wheezes open, go back, have fun. Live again. You have every right. You all do. Don't die with me. Don't let yourself. You have to… for me… I know it'll be hard. But you can do anything, you know that by now. How else would we have gained the reputation we did? So please. I'm not saying you have to let go, or forget, but please don't drown with me. It's not worth it… Bring humor to the situation, and bring humor to life. And George… I love you."
He wanted to say something, anything back, but he wasn't even sure if what he'd heard was real or his imagination. It didn't matter. Tears flowed freely from his eyes, coating the table like rain. They flowed fast and hard, and when he opened his eyes, there was Angelina. He stared at her, and she just sat there staring back at him. Her caramel eyes and dark skin were the most beautiful he'd ever laid eyes on. She was still beautiful, even with bloodshot eyes and tearstained skin. He knew that she was crying for the loss of Fred, but even moreso than that, she was crying for the loss of George, she was crying for herself. He lifted a hand and gripped hers tightly.
"Ang…I miss him…so much" he began before taking a shaky breath "but I'm not going to let you lose us both."